Year of Superman Week 13: Superman By Request

It’s a new week and, for the first time in a month, I’m NOT going to be spending it with the Death of Superman storyline. As much as I love that story, I’m happy to move on to something else…but I’m also not really interested in doing anything “structured” this week. I kind of want to bounce around, hit all quarters, and read lots of different things. To that end, I asked folks on Social Media to suggest their favorite single-issue Superman stories. I already have my own list of these, but I wanted to do a little crowd sourcing and maybe find some stories that I wouldn’t have thought of, or maybe have never even read before. There are some interesting choices in here, so I’m going to spend a few days sifting through them. This week, it’s SUPERMAN BY REQUEST!

Wed., March 26

Comics: Justice League of America #194, Superman Annual #11

Next time, stick to Go Fish.

Notes: I’m starting off with this suggestion, an issue of the original Justice League run I’ve never read before. This one intrigued me, because although many of those old Justice League comics are great, there are few that I’ve seen that I would specifically mark off as a great SUPERMAN story. Let’s see what it is about this one that makes it stand out.

It starts at a carnival in Metropolis, where Lois Lane is racking up prizes on the midway and forcing Clark to carry them. Clark encounters a fortune teller who reveals his double identity, then casts some sort of spell rapidly turning him into an old man. Over the course of the issue we check in on other members of the League – Flash, Elongated Man, Green Lantern, Black Canary, and Zatanna – each of whom has an encounter with a different figure ripped from a deck of tarot cards before they all converge on the Justice League Satellite and track down the source of their woes: their old foe Amos Fortune.

This is kind of perplexing. It’s a perfectly good issue, and I enjoyed reading it. Gerry Conway had a decent run on Justice League and this story, with lovely art and an eye-popping cover by George Perez, comes from the high point of the era. But I specifically asked for great single-issue Superman stories, and he only really appears in the first few pages and the last few pages. Sure, he’s the one that takes down Fortune at the end, but this isn’t so much a “great single-issue Superman story” as it is a “good single-issue Justice League story featuring Superman.” But y’know, when I decided to crowdsource, I knew that I would be seeing different people’s takes on what makes for a good Superman story. I imagine the person who recommended this one did so because of Superman’s good standing at the end. 

Worst birthday since that time I didn’t get the G.I. Joe aircraft carrier.

Having gone with one of the Internet’s suggestions, I’m going to move on to one of the issues that was on my own list, a comic that is frequently cited among the greatest Superman stories ever told (and was, in fact, included in the trade paperback anthology of that name): Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ “For the Man Who Has Everything” from Superman Annual #11. It’s Superman’s birthday, and Wonder Woman, Batman, and Robin (Jason Todd) are meeting him at the Fortress of Solitude for a little party. When they arrive, though, they find Superman tangled in the snares of the Black Mercy, an alien parasite that traps its host in a hallucination of their own deepest desires. As they try to free him, they are attacked by Mongul, who sent the creature in the first place, and their only chance to survive is to free the Man of Steel.

There are a lot of layers here to peel apart, starting with Superman’s hallucination. The Black Mercy shows him a world where Krypton was never destroyed, where he grew up there, married, and had children…however, in the decades since, a movement has arisen protesting the use of the Phantom Zone as a punishment for criminals. And since the Phantom Zone was discovered by Jor-El, the House of El is the target of their ire. It’s an intriguing sort of political debate, and it’s kind of sad to see that in his “deepest desire,” Superman still has to watch Krypton self-destruct, even if it’s metaphorical this time. This is, however, very much a product of its time. In the early 80s, it’s easy enough to imagine that Superman’s greatest dream would be a world where Krypton never was destroyed. In the post-Byrne era, he didn’t have that nostalgic love for Krypton (which makes more sense, since he has no memories of it), and even through all the changes that the character has undergone over the years, that aspect has never really come back, at least not to the degree it was in the Silver Age. Were this story to be told today, I think it’s more likely Clark’s dream would be a perfect Earth, free of crime and disaster, where a Superman was no longer needed.

I also love the interaction of Mongul with the others. Moore gets some great little witticisms, like asking Batman to make the “yellow creature” stop shuffling, or the point where he recognizes that human society makes distinctions based on age and gender and, therefore, asks them to tell him which one of them is the polite one for him to kill first. If this story had never happened, I think Mongul would have been just one of many would-be alien conquerors that litter the DC Universe. This is what made him stand out, made him memorable.

Once Superman is released, the fight is great too. The rage that Gibbons places in his eyes is both righteous and frightening. He really cuts loose, telling Mongul to “burn” as he blasts him with his heat vision – which was rare at the time. Heat vision was almost never used as an offensive weapon then, certainly not directly against the bad guy. It’s something that became more common later, and I think this is most likely where that came from.

This is a brilliant comic book, and deservedly considered one of the greatest Superman stories ever. It’s even the source for the ONLY adaptation of Alan Moore’s work that the man himself signs off on – an episode of Justice League Unlimited. I should watch that soon. 

Thur., March 27

Comics: Superman Vol. 6 #26, Justice League Unlimited Vol. 2 #5, Power Girl Vol. 3 #19, Shazam! Vol. 4 #20

Those two fronts, oddly enough, are a Nor’easter and the facade at the entrance to the Magic Kingdom at Disney World.

Notes: It’s another recent recap day for me. There were three Superman-adjacent books that his the stands this week, and I’m ready to pick into them, beginning with Superman #26, which I loved. Lex Luthor’s memory is slowly returning (since the events of the Lex Luthor Special, specifically). While this is good, in that he may be regaining the knowledge of how to deal with the stasis field holding Doomsday and the Radiant, it also opens us up to the danger of the old Luthor returning. Meanwhile, Lois “Superwoman” Lane goes on her first Justice League mission and winds up finding out something shocking about Supercorp. Everything builds up to a last scene and especially a last PAGE reveal that knocks your socks off. It’s the kind of issue that makes you want to go back and re-read the issues beforehand to admire how well the writer, Josh Williamson, has set everything up. I won’t be doing that today, exactly, but it feels like it may be in the cards before the 25th issue finale next month.

Mark Waid and Dan Mora come back for Justice League Unlimited #5, continuing the saga of the mysterious terrorist group called Inferno. The super terrorists attack globally at once, not only targeting power plants, but somehow kidnapping the attendees of the annual G20 summit, including dozens of world leaders and several members of the Justice League. And among the missing, only Supergirl has a clue where they’ve been taken. This issue kicks off the crossover event between this title and Waid’s Batman/Superman: World’s Finest, and it’s a story I’ve been looking forward to. It’s got time travel, it’s got oodles and oodles of heroes, and it’s linking two of the three best DC Universe books being published right now (the third being Superman itself). 

Finally, Power Girl #19 shows us the missing heroes coming home just in time for Power Girl to get a pretty major surprise on the news. This issue, frankly, feels rushed, and I suspect that’s at least in part because next month appears to be the end of the series. There’s a sense here that Leah Williams was told the book was ending at issue #20 when she had a lot more planned, and she’s trying to race towards a satisfying conclusion. If that’s the case, I can’t really hold her accountable for that – it’s happened to a lot of good books over the years, and sometimes the first casualty of that kind of thing is coherence. That seems to be the case here. 

Fri., March 28

I just have answer keys from old tests in MY file cabinet.

Comics: Action Comics #399

Notes: Action Comics #399 is an old favorite of mine. It’s one of those books that has a cover that can’t help but grab you – Superman in a morgue next to a guy in a suspiciously short skirt, with drawers containing two dead and pickled Supermen, telling him that the third empty drawer is waiting for him. This is a cover that DEMANDS answers. Why are there two other Supermen? Why is ours called “Superman III?” Why are they in jars? Where’s Richard Pryor?

Sometimes, you get a cover like this and wind up disappointed in the story inside. That happened frequently in the silver age – there was a period where the editor (usually the great Julius Schwartz) would have the cover artist whip up the wildest image he could think of, frequently involving some sort of monkey or gorilla, and then task the poor writer with coming up with some kind of story to justify that image. I don’t know that this is the case here, but where it was the script or the cover that came first, this is one where Leo Dorfman’s story lives up to the artwork.

It begins with Superman rushing off to stop a power generator explosion, something so volatile that is has the potential to ignite Earth’s atmosphere. Before he can deal with it, though, he is suddenly kidnapped, whisked away by a mysterious force and finding himself in a strange room with men who appear to be George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and George Custer. Superman quickly realizes his fellow captives are not imposters, but that they – and he – have been transported through time. He escapes and confronts his abductors, who turn out to be historians that have taken each of them from a point in time immediately before their deaths for study. Superman is then given an even greater shock: he is, in fact, the third Superman. After Superman died battling a “space vampire,” he was cloned, with the duplicate having no memory of his death. The clone, then, met a similar fate, making our Superman, in fact, Superman III – but the cloning will no longer be stable if another copy is needed, thus Superman III will be the last, and he is destined to die stopping the power generator from destroying the world. 

At first, Superman is reluctant to take the trip back, but concedes when he realizes that staying in the future would result in the destruction of the timeline and the deaths of billions…but he somehow survives the explosion. It is then that he discovers the truth – he was taken not only through time, but to an alternate universe, where his fate and those of his fellow captors was different than in our own world. He lives on, but somewhere in the multiverse, Superman III is lying in state.

Man, I still can’t get away from the death of Superman, can I?

Anyway, I read this story in Superman From the 30s to the 70s, a book that I used to check out from the library religiously as a child. A few years ago, I was lucky enough to find a copy at a used bookstore, and it’s a treasure to me now. It’s full of great stories like this one and, in fact, is probably responsible for the bulk of my exposure to Superman before I became a full-time reader in those nascent days just before the Triangle Era began. I haven’t read this story in years, but I find it just as entertaining now as I did back then – a great sci-fi concept with the expected twist (Superman wasn’t REALLY going to die, even as a child I knew that), but the twist is done in such a way that it still carries weight. A Superman died, just not our Superman.

Hmm. I wonder if that universe still exists out there somewhere in the oft-rebooted and rebuilt DC Multiverse? That would be a fun project – a story that looks in on some of these one-shot alternate worlds from the Silver and Bronze Ages. Who at DC do I pitch that idea to?

Sat., March 29

Comic: Hitman #34

They say you should never meet your heroes, but when your hero is Superman, I think it’s okay.

Notes: This is such an odd book, on the outside, to include in this project. Hitman is by far the most successful alumni of DC’s Bloodlines crossover, and he had an ongoing series that lasted quite a while and still has a large fan base. The thing is, Hitman was created – and his series was written – by Garth Ennis, creator of The Boys, who you may know has a pretty vocal and heated distaste for superheroes. He doesn’t like ‘em. He created The Boys specifically to tear them down. But the one exception to that rule seems to be Superman. And it’s obvious when you read this comic, because it’s as tender and effusive a love letter to the Man of Steel as any comic book I’ve ever read. 

In this issue, Tommy Monaghan – the titular Hitman – is on a rooftop in Gotham City when suddenly, inexplicably, he comes across Superman, brooding into the night sky. Monaghan turns into a stumbling fanboy for a moment until he realizes that something is bothering Superman. He convinces the hero to open up and he tells a story about a mission in space, a tragic failure, and how it’s eating away at him.

And then the most improbable thing in comic book history happens: Tommy Monaghan helps Superman.

The vast majority of this issue is simply a conversation between the two men on the rooftop. Superman tells the story of a doomed space flight and he confesses how he struggles sometimes with living up to what people expect him to be. Then Monaghan turns it all around, explaining what the idea of Superman means to people and framing him as a metaphor for America itself. “You’re everything that’s great about this country an’ you don’t even know it,” he says, and then goes on to explain a pretty singular philosophy that is just as true today as it was when this issue came out in 1998. In the end, he’s shared what he thinks Superman – and America itself – is really about, and Earth’s greatest hero returns to the sky, his failure no longer weighing on him quite as heavily as it did a few moments before.

Then, because it’s still an issue of Hitman, Tommy murders somebody, but you don’t really mind so much.

People talk often about Superman For All Seasons and All Star Superman (specifically the issue where Superman talks the girl off the ledge) as some of the stories that most perfectly exemplify who and what Superman is, and they’re right. Those are amazing stories, brilliant stories, stories I fully intend to revisit before the movie hits screens this July. But if someone wants to know what there is to love about Superman, I can’t think of any single issue of any comic book more suited to the task than this one.

And the fact that the guy who understands Superman so incredibly well has such a deep hatred of every other superhero still makes me chuckle. 

Sun., March 30

“I’m sorry…I can’t do that, Clark…”
(It’s a 2001 joke. Get some culture, people.)

Comic: Superman #300

Notes: Ah, another beloved classic. Once again it’s an “imaginary story,” as one can probably tell by the cover, and one that is particularly indicative of its time. In this alternate world, the destruction of Krypton happened much later, and baby Kal-El’s rocket came to Earth in the “present” of 1976. And rather than landing in a Kansas cornfield, it made a splashdown in the ocean as both American and Soviet vessels raced to snag it. The rocket – and the baby inside – was claimed by the Americans, and thus did the Cold War enter a new stage on this planet.

The story takes us through two more “acts.” In 1990, the teenage Kal-El (called “Skyboy” by the US military) is revealed to the world and tensions between nations almost precipitate World War III, sparking the young man to flee and go into hiding. Then in 2001, an imposter makes a move, claiming to be the star-child, and the boy – now a man – has to come out of hiding to save the world.

Whether you call them Elseworlds or Imaginary Stories or something else entirely, it’s always interesting to me how often these DC stories tweak things, then twist them around to make them fit the original universe. For instance, the “Skyboy” costume the military gives Kal-El is, of course, identical to the traditional “Superman” uniform, right down to the S-shield, even though in these days the symbol wasn’t a Kryptonian glyph that came to Earth with him like it’s usually portrayed these days. Nope, just a crazy coincidence. Second, when Kal-El goes into hiding, he decides to borrow the names of two of his father-figures, one Thomas Clark and Kent Garrett, making him…oh, come on, you can guess, right? And as this Clark Kent grows up…well whaddaya know…he becomes a reporter. It’s almost like the philosophy of these stories is that there are just some constants in the multiverse, and no matter what details are changed, the end result will be kind of the same. When you consider the thesis of more recent stories like Doomsday Clock (I’ll probably read that again at some point this year) it actually makes sense. Superman is, not only metaphorically, but literally, the center of the DC Universe. Everything revolves around him in one way or another, and it seems kind of fitting that the universe itself will take pains to make that path consistent.

Mon., March 31

Comics: DC Comics Presents #83, Superman #127

Seriously, you’re never gonna guess who they’re all grimacing at.

Notes: Let’s kick off Monday with another recommended comic, DC Comics Presents #83. I think I’ve mentioned it before, but DC Comics Presents was, essentially, the Superman team-up book of the era. Every issue had Superman pair off with a different guest star, and in this one, he’s joining up with Batman and the Outsiders. That team has an interesting pedigree as well – Batman has quit the Justice League over its refusal to get involved in an international incident, and winds up leading a new team of offbeat characters: Black Lightning, Geo-Force, Katana, Metamorpho, and Halo. As a result of his actions, tensions between Batman and Superman were rather high at this period, with the two best friends finding themselves at odds. This issue kicks off with the return of the ORIGINAL Outsider – Alfred Pennyworth. The Outsider was an evil and powerful alter-ego of his that apparently can be unleashed to wreak havoc on the world due to a simple bump on the head. Ah, it was a simpler time.

When the Outsider turns himself into a tornado (seriously, he was freakishly powerful) and attacks a farming community, Superman joins in the hunt. He winds up joining the OutsiderS to battle the OutsideR in the Batcave, while Batman himself chases down the issue’s real villain, his foe Ira “I.Q.” Quimby. 

I’d have to check the timeline, but this issue appears to take place after Superman and Batman have buried the hatchet. There’s no trace of that earlier animosity over Batman quitting the League, and I recall that they specifically addressed it and came to terms in the book that starred both of them, World’s Finest Comics. So what you have here is a simple team-up. In fact, considering that it’s written by Batman and the Outsiders creator Mike W. Barr, it really feels more like an issue of that comic that guest-stars Superman than the other way around. It’s a good issue, and I find it interesting that someone out there declared it their favorite. 

Jack Black played Superman in the 2005 version.

Let’s dive further back in time to Superman #127 from 1959. This issue kicks off with “When There Was NO Clark Kent!” In this one, Superman recalls a time when an accident led Lois to believe that Clark Kent had been killed in an explosion. Superman decides that his life will be less complicated if he just does away with being Clark and remains Superman full-time… then he asks Jimmy Olsen if he can be his roommate.

What the hell was going on in 1959?

Anyway, Superman’s new address gets leaked to the public by means of Jimmy Olsen being stupid enough to put Superman’s name on the buzzer in the apartment building, and he’s soon inundated with the demands of his adoring public 24/7, to say nothing of the demands of his Kryptonite-bearing enemies. By the end of the story, he finds a convoluted way to bring Clark back to life. This is a really funny story from a modern perspective, from years of reading a Superman who understands and even CRAVES the normality of Clark Kent’s life and who will do anything to preserve it. It’s so bizarre that back then he would have considered Clark so disposable.

“The Make-Believe Superman” is story #2 in this issue. In this one, a suburban dad – embarrassed at his pedestrian life – decides to tell his son’s class at school that he’s really Superman, because there is absolutely no flaw in this plan. Except, of course, when he gets caught up in a scheme by some robbers who have taken Clark Kent hostage and threaten to kill him unless “Superman” goes along with their scheme.

Hilarity ensues.

It’s really the third story in this issue that’s most significant, the first appearance of Titano the Super-Ape. A gentle ape named Toto is sent into outer space, where a burst of strange radiation turns him into a giant and gives him the power to shoot Kryptonite rays from his eyes. In true King Kong fashion, he falls in love with Lois Lane, who somehow has the presence of mind to re-named him “Titano” even as she’s afraid she’s going to get killed. That Lois, she gives new meaning to the term “clear-headed.” Titano would become a recurring foil for Superman, although most of the time he’s portrayed in much the way that his obvious cinematic inspiration is – a force of nature, an animal acting out his own nature, and not specifically evil. As far as the story itself goes, it’s cute. 

Tues., April 1

Comic: Superman #145, DC Comics Presents #70

Remember that time Superman fought a Robert Frost poem?

Notes: It seemed appropriate to read this particular issue today, although the pertinent reason doesn’t turn up until three stories deep. The first story, “The Secret Identity of Superman,” deals once again with Lois’s turmoil over the fact that Superman won’t marry her. (Really, they did Lois SO dirty in these stories.) This time, she thinks it’s because he’s afraid she couldn’t keep his secret identity a secret if she ever knew about it, so Jimmy Olsen decides to “help” by telling her Superman’s secret: he’s really science fiction writer Rock Stirling! Actually, Jimmy is just testing Lois to see if she CAN keep the secret, thinking that knowing the answer one way or another will be a favor to both of them. People who were alive in the 1950s – did you really pull this kind of crap on your friends back then? 

Anyway, Lois turns out to be so hilariously bad at keeping the secret that four pages later, she’s inadvertently announced that Stirling is Superman on national television, prompting the real Superman to race to his rescue when some crooks come after the writer with Kryptonite. Stirling actually saves Superman by throwing his lead typewriter over the meteor, allowing Superman to melt it and get his strength back long enough to stop the crooks. In the end, Jimmy tells Lois to cheer up – “Superman thinks a lot of you! Maybe he’ll marry you some day even if you CAN’T keep a secret.”

There’s a reason the comic wasn’t called Superman’s Girl Friend Lois Lane’s Pal Jimmy Olsen.

Story #2 features Superman in “The Interplanetary Circus.” An alien circus comes to Earth to put on a show, and Lois and Clark head out to the big top. Lois – and virtually everyone else – thinks that the “alien” bit is just a gimmick and the fabulous creatures they see are all robots (which raises the question of just how good they thought robots could be at the time, because this is WAY beyond Pirates of the Caribbean), but Clark’s super-senses indicate that it’s all real. In fact, when Superman has to prevent a disaster at the circus, the ringmaster offers him a job. When he declines, he tries to take Superman by force, which of course works out about as well as you expect.

The Silver Age was such an odd time for Superman. After spending the Golden Age beating dangerous criminals, going into war zones, and stopping domestic violence, we got about a 20-year period where his major concerns seemed to be things like convincing aliens to leave Earth and preventing Lois Lane from marrying him. Different sensibilities, I suppose. These stories do have charm, but there’s a limit.

It’s the final story in this issue that made me decide to read it today. In “The Night of March 31st,” Clark Kent writers in his diary that “Nothing exciting happened today – will patrol Metropolis, as usual, tomorrow. Supergirl isn’t ready yet to have her existence revealed to the world.” Then, after writing all this stuff in a paper diary in plain English where anybody could read it, Clark goes to sleep. In the morning, he’s awakened by an urgent call from Perry White asking him to get Superman to meet him at the Daily Planet, only to find that Perry has somehow been transformed to a Bizarro. From there things only get wilder – he rushes to an oceanic observatory only to find his old girlfriend Lori Lemaris, the mermaid, with legs and drowning. Then Supergirl — at the time still acting as Superman’s “secret weapon” — shows up to put out a fire in broad daylight, revealing her existence to the world. Krypto and Streaky burst in at the Planet offices to play with Jimmy and Lois, Mr. Mxyzptlk shows up to take Lois out to lunch…every panel is full of strange occurrences and even stranger sight gags. We see Superman with no cape, wearing slacks over his costume, wearing Clark’s glasses, with a backwards S-shield, and dozens of other little visual oddities. Nothing about the story seems to make any sense whatsoever, even up to the point where Lex Luthor, Bizarro, and Brainiac team up to save him from a Kryptonite-wielding Lana Lang.

Why is all of this crazy stuff happening, you ask? It’s simple – we began with Clark writing his March 31st entry, then going to sleep, so then what day is it when he wakes up?

I personally hate April Fool’s Day, at least the way it exists today. It should be a day for gentle, harmless jokes and pranks, but far too many people use it as an excuse to pull mean-spirited gags and then brush it off with “Can’t you take a joke?” Social media has made it even worse – it’s hard enough these days to sort the truth from the nonsense online, and April Fool’s Day annually bombards us with an avalanche of garbage that gullible people panic over because they think it’s real. It’s gotten so bad that when Marvel Studios announced Spider-Man: Brand New Day as the title for the next movie, I went to Google and started looking for other sources to corroborate that it wasn’t just a joke.

All that said, though, this is actually a fun story. It’s completely ridiculous, and there’s a lot of fun to be had in going through it a panel at a time and picking out all of the ridiculous things that the writers and artists work in – things like the Leaning Tower of Pisa being in Metropolis, Lois’s hair changing from panel to panel, and Clark changing to Superman in front of a pair of onlookers that give off a kind of vibe that…well, see for yourself, I guess. 

I honestly can’t decide which joke to go with here, friends, write one yourself.

Anyway, the story is utterly ridiculous, but it’s harmless fun, and that’s what April Fool’s Day SHOULD be. 

The only kind of AI I’ll allow on this blog.

DC Comics Presents #70 has no seasonal contribution to make but it does have a personal connection for me. The Metal Men are some of my favorite B-list (or, even C-list, if we’re being honest here) DC characters, and this is the first story featuring them I ever read. I always just loved the concept – a team of robots, each of which is comprised of a single metal (Gold, Tin, Mercury, Lead, Steel, and Platinum), with personalities and powers associated with that metal. I suppose it was that I was also a huge Isaac Asimov fan, and as such anything with robots was really entertaining to me. 

In this story, the robot heroes are abducted by a mysterious enemy and put through a series of trials, some of them being “eliminated” and removed along the way. Mercury and Tin, for example, can’t make the cut in severe cold, and Lead is bounced when he starts to melt in great heat. As their trials go on, an image flashes on Clark Kent’s computer at the Daily Planet, alerting him to their plight, and it’s Superman to the rescue…but the heat melting Lead is being powered by red solar energy, reducing Superman’s powers and making it a real fight. 

I haven’t read this issue in quite a while, but I’ve always enjoyed this sort of “And Then There Were None” tale, where characters get picked off one by one. The only real strike against it comes when the villain finally stands revealed – a sort of standard mad scientist who is doing these trials out of fear of some ill-defined apocalypse that would eliminate the human race, hoping to find a way to preserve life. Superman himself points out how stupid his plan is, and that’s gotta smart. 

And thus ends the first “Superman By Request” week. I may do more later in the year, especially if I need another break from longer storylines or themes as I did this week. But you know, I think I’m ready for a new theme next week…so in honor of the goodest boy in the universe and the REAL star of James Gunn’s first Superman trailer, I hereby declare April 2-April 8 to be KRYPTO WEEK. See you next Wednesday!

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. You can join in the Kryptonian Konversation every day in the Year of Superman Facebook Group!

Year of Superman Week 12: After the End

Another week, and finally some good news. For those of you who follow along in the blog and know about the car troubles that have been weighing me down the last couple of weeks, the car has been fixed and it’s on the road again. So I’m recharged and ready to get back into it. Let’s get started, shall we?

Wed., March 19

Animated Feature: Superman/Doomsday (2007)

Notes: Back in 2007, the big news was that Warner Bros. animation was starting a series of direct-to-DVD movies based on DC comics, starting with this one, the animated adaptation of the Death and Return saga. It was the first of an initiative that lasted (as far as I can tell) right up until last year, when the two-part Watchmen adaptation was released. I haven’t heard about any new films since then, though, save for a Japanese-produced sequel to Batman: Ninja. I hope that this series isn’t a casualty of the new James Gunn universe.

Anyway, when this movie first released, it was a big deal. We were psyched for it, excited to see a more adult animated version of the DC Universe. Don’t misunderstand, the Diniverse (home of Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, Justice League Unlimited, Static Shock and more) was and remains a favorite…but within the constraints of a TV-PG rating. We wanted something a little more. The fact that it was a big deal that this movie was rated PG-13 is actually kind of quaint, considering we now live in a world where Wolverine drops F-bombs like Kanye West being dropped by his managers. 

In 2007, we thought this was groundbreaking.

All that said, although I remember enjoying this movie at the time, it doesn’t hold up that well. Condensing the Death and Return trilogy into a scant 77 minutes was probably the first mistake. The battle with Doomsday is actually pretty well done, but it feels too brief considering the gravity of the situation. Then, the movie jettisons most of the “Funeral” and “Reign” storylines entirely, going from Superman’s death to a new Superman popping up to take in a bizarre version of Toman that even the great John DiMaggio can’t make entertaining. The result is that it feels like Superman is “dead” for about 20 minutes. Of course, it’s not the real Superman at this point, something that soon becomes evident as Lois realizes that he has none of Superman’s memories. Nope, this is a clone – but it ain’t Superboy. It’s a clone created by Lex Luthor (a clone he gets off on abusing under red solar lamps in one particularly squicky scene), crafted to give him the chance to ruin Superman’s reputation from beyond the grave. It starts to work when he begins getting more violent with the criminals he thwarts, going to extremes that even the Eradicator wouldn’t. But no problem, the REAL Superman wakes up in the Fortress of Solitude because…he can. Really, it’s just that on Earth, he can come back from death. That’s the only explanation we get. 

The relationship between Superman and Lois is weird here too. The two of them are dating – he even takes her off at the beginning of the film for a romp at the Fortress of Solitude that, while not explicit, would certainly have strained the limits of a kid-friendly rating. But at the same time, she’s dating SUPERMAN, and still doesn’t know that he’s Clark Kent (although she has her suspicions). I guess it’s a more of a modernized take on the old Silver Age status quo, but that was a bad look then and it’s a bad look now. To be fair, they do work it into the plot, as she goes to seek out Martha Kent after Superman dies, trying to share her grief with the only person on Earth who MIGHT understand what she’s going through, but it could have been served just as well having a more traditional Lois/Clark relationship.

The casting has its ups and downs. Adam Baldwin is a decent Superman, and James Marsden is a great Lex Luthor, but Anne Heche is sorely miscast as Lois Lane. She doesn’t have the steel in her voice (excuse the pun) that Lois should have, and the way she goes after Superman to badger his secret identity out of him is an awful way to write the character. Plus, it makes HIM look bad for not trusting her with the secret. They even try to work around the fact that Clark goes missing after Superman dies because he was on assignment in Afghanistan, which is far too neat a solution. 

I get it. It was their first attempt not only at adapting this storyline, but at making an animated DC superhero movie. There was a pretty steep learning curve that needed to be addressed. But man, am I glad that they came back a few years ago and took another swing at this storyline, because the two-parter was much, much better. I watched Part One, The Death of Superman, back in Week Nine of this project. I’ll try to tackle Reign of the Supermen before week 12 ends. 

Comics: Black Lightning Vol. 4 #4 (Guest Appearances by Superman, John Henry & Natasha Irons), Jenny Sparks #7 (Guest Appearance)

Thur., March 20

I hear Spielberg used these covers as inspiration for that scene in Jaws.

Comics: Superman/Doomsday: Hunter/Prey #1-3

Notes: About a year after his return from the grave, Dan Jurgens gave us this three-issue miniseries featuring what fans were clamoring for: a rematch between Superman and Doomsday. Apparently, since he came back, Clark has been suffering from recurring nightmares about the battle with Doomsday, worried about the fact that the Cyborg threw his body into space and parts unknown. The fears are justified – a space cruiser picks up the rock the Cyborg strapped him to and Doomsday wakes up, resuming his quest of slaughter amongst the crew. The ship brings him to Apokalips, where he begins a rampage that causes even Darkseid’s minions terror, and then it gets worse – the Cyborg himself returns, having transferred his consciousness onto a device he slipped onto Doomsday, where he just bided his time until he had the opportunity to construct a new body. 

On Earth, Superman hunts down Waverider and the Linear Men, hoping they will tell him Doomsday’s secrets, but all he gets is a cryptic clue that points him to Apokalips. Oberon of the Justice League hooks him up with a Mother Box, and he sets out, just in time to see the Cyborg and Doomsday causing untold destruction, even beating down the mighty Darkseid.

This is the series that gives us the origin of Doomsday, and it turns out to be as horrific as one would expect. Millennia ago, an alien scientist strove to create a “perfect” being. And what better way to do that then by going to a planet so violent and inhospitable that virtually nothing could survive on the surface, jettison an infant to be brutally slaughtered, and then cloning him over and over again to find new ways to survive? The ultimate result of this experiment, after decades of violence and torture, was Doomsday, a creature who has the ability to evolve and recover from any injury. In short, he can never be killed the same way twice. Unfortunately for the scientists, he also evolved to consider literally any form of life a threat. He kills them all, then hitches a ride into space to begin a reign of terror. Oh yes, and the planet where all this happened? It was in the ancient past of a little world called Krypton. Eventually he was defeated by the Radiant, an energy being from another world, and was “buried” on an asteroid that, after untold centuries, crash landed on Earth.

Ah, you know the rest.

Issue three of this series is almost pure fight scene. By the end of it, Darkseid has trapped the Cyborg’s consciousness in a little ball, and Superman and Waverider throw Doomsday through time to be swallowed up by the end of the universe itself. He got better. 

Jurgens takes advantage of the “prestige format” of this miniseries, free from the constraints of the comics code. While still relatively mild compared to a “mature readers” comic book, he really amps up the violence this time around. We see Doomsday’s victims ripped in half, their heads pulled off, and all manner of gore that was pretty intense compared to the typical Superman comic of the Triangle Era. Keeping the bulk of the story on Apokalips also nicely sidesteps the consequences of fitting this story into the regular Triangle books. Had the rematch happened on Earth, there would have had to have been a whole new subplot about the destruction, the devastation, the PTSD everyone suffered from Doomsday’s return. This way, only a handful of people on Earth even know that it happened, and it’s taken care of with everybody none the wiser. It’s well-constructed.

It’s also a nice showcase of the way that Jurgens – like many creators – shows off his pet creations. There are a few characters that Jurgens created or co-created that he keeps coming back to time and time again. Booster Gold is probably the most famous of these, but he also loved to keep coming back to Waverider and the Linear Men. I’m a big fan of them as well – to this day, I think Waverider has one of the coolest designs of any character that came out of the 90s (not a single pouch or pocket, even), and I also like a good time travel story. He fits in nicely, and on those rare occasions he shows up nowadays, I always like seeing him. 

Of course, this wasn’t the end for Doomsday. Even throwing him into the heat death at the end of the universe wouldn’t be enough to take such a lucrative character off the table forever. But it would be a little while before he showed up in continuity again. In fact, the next time we saw him, it wouldn’t be set in the regular timeline at all. 

Literature.

Novel: The Death and Life of Superman by Roger Stern (finished)

Notes: I wrote about the bulk of this novel in last week’s blog recap, so I don’t have too much more to say, other than to note how Roger Stern tweaked the ending. He left out Green Lantern’s involvement in the finale, which seems like an odd choice, considering how meticulously he stuck to the story in the earlier scenes with the Justice League. There’s also a bit of a change at the end: in the comic book, Superman’s powers were restored when the Cyborg tried to hit him with Kryptonite, but the Eradicator dove in front of the beam. The mingling of the Kryptonite and the Eradicator’s energy was what it took to bring Superman back to full power. In the novel, though, the Eradicator chooses to pour his energy into Superman and recharge him. I have to say, I like the comic book version better. Either way the Eradicator gets his heroic sacrifice, but somehow it’s more satisfying if he dies trying to SAVE Superman, rather than dying just to give him back his powers. Even more than the Green Lantern omission, I’m not sure what spurred this change in the story. All that said, none of this ruins the book. It’s a fun read, especially for completists like myself, and I suggest you poke around and find yourself a copy if you’re so inclined.

Fri., March 21

Comic: Doomsday Annual #1

You know, technically, there’s no such thing as “first annual.” Something can’t be a yearly event until it happens twice. This one didn’t happen twice. Please enjoy “Doomsday Not-Really-An-Annual #1.”

Notes: By 1995, DC had stopped doing annual crossover storylines like Bloodlines and, instead, began doing annual THEMES instead. This year, the annual theme was “Year One,” with every annual telling an early story of the character in question. Not a bad way to do it, really, I wish that modern annuals had any sort of rhyme or reason to them. Over at Marvel their Annual editors don’t even know there are numbers higher than “one.” But most interesting was how they would occasionally drop an “annual” for a character who didn’t even have a regular series, such as this. On the anniversary of Superman’s death, people have made a pilgrimage to the site where the monster first broke free from his confinement. As it turns out, the gathering was arranged by our old friend Mitch Anderson, he whose home was destroyed by Doomsday during the original rampage. The crowd and a group of soldiers guarding the area nearly come to blows until Superman arrives, settling things down, and begins to regale the people with stories of Doomsday’s past. The anthology issue includes the creature’s first battle against Darkseid, an ancient encounter with the Green Lantern Corps, and an epilogue of sorts to Hunter/Prey. It’s not bad – the Darkseid story especially is good, no doubt bolstered by the writing and artwork of Dan Jurgens – but compared to most of the other appearances of Doomsday, it’s a little forgettable. 

Sat. March 22

Comics: Absolute Superman #5, Action Comics #1084, Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #37, DC X Sonic the Hedgehog #1

Notes: It’s that time again, friends. Once again, I’m going to spend a Saturday afternoon checking in on the recent Superman comics – most of them, anyway. This week we got the long-delayed release of the second issue of Superman: The Last Days of Lex Luthor, a Black Label comic by Mark Waid and Bryan Hitch. The first issue, as I recall, was magnificent…but it came out nearly two years ago. I’ve got no idea what the cause was for the gargantuan wait, but I’ve frankly sort of forgotten what happened in issue one. I could go back and read it, but the third and final issue is supposedly going to come out next month. I think, instead, I’ll just hold off on reading #2 and hit all three of them when the final issue is released. So here are the other Superman and Superman-adjacent comics from the past few weeks:

The weird thing is that this image was originally drawn for a Pepto-Bismol commercial.

Absolute Superman #5: The newest DC Universe continues to reveal its secrets, with this issue telling the story of the last days of Krypton. I’ve said many times that I don’t really need origin stories anymore – we’ve seen them a billion times and there’s not really a need for them anymore, especially in terms of the most popular characters. I never again need to see the murder of Thomas and Martha Wayne, I never need to see Peter Parker get bitten by a spider, and I never need to see Krypton explode. The exception to this rule is the rare story that does it differently. In the Absolute Universe, Kal-El wasn’t sent to Earth as a baby. Here, as a child, he is one of a group of Kryptonians that Jor-El has gathered in an effort to escape Krypton’s destruction – not even a fraction of her population, but more than the sole survivor their son usually is. I’ve really been enjoying what they’ve done with the Absolute line. I wouldn’t want this to be the “main” DC Universe, but as an alternate reality, it works, and it’s working quite well.

Action Comics #1084: John Ridley’s “Force Majeure” arc ends this issue, and it does – to be fair – address my biggest issue with the arc. I’ve said before, I hate recidivism stories. No matter how realistic they may be, once I’ve watched a former villain go through a redemption arc I don’t like seeing them backslide, and Major Disaster is no exception. As this story ends, we at least get a slightly more palatable reason for his reversion to a crook. It helps, but it’s still just not the kind of story I want to read, especially in a Superman book. There’s enough darkness in the world, Action Comics is a place where I want to see the light shine through.

Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #37: Although this title is ostensibly a Batman/Superman book, there are times where Mark Waid really uses it as his playground to touch upon the entire DC Universe. Batman and Superman are almost side characters in this issue, with the bulk of the story landing on the shoulders of Aquaman, Swamp Thing, and Lori Lemaris. Lori kissed Superman at the end of last issue, her old feelings for him resurfacing, and in this issue her husband is understandably having issues dealing with it. They work through their issues while the heroes fight to, y’know, save the world, as they do. Nobody knows the DC Universe like Mark Waid does, and it’s great to know that they’ve tapped him to write the upcoming New History of the DC Universe miniseries.

It’s another “who’s faster, the blue guy or the red guy?” situation.

DC X Sonic the Hedgehog #1: Man, do I love a ridiculous crossover event, and this most certainly qualifies. In this issue, Darkseid has invaded the world of Sonic the Hedgehog aboard his “Ragna Rock,” a mobile battlestation that can cross dimensions. The Justice League follows him, and join forces with Sonic and friends to take him down. This is surprisingly refreshing for one of these crossover events. For starters, whenever there’s a crossover between two universes that can’t mix as easily as, say, DC and Marvel, it’s usually the characters from the less-grounded world coming to the more-grounded one – the DC/Looney Tunes crossover from years back being a prime example. Here we get the reverse, which is a nice change of pace. Second, there’s never even an iota of the usual “heroes get into a misunderstanding and fight before they team up against the bad guy” nonsense that we see time and time again. The League and Team Sonic immediately recognize each other as heroes and quickly not only partner up, but pair off, with the members of each team gravitating towards their most logical counterpart on the other. Superman winds up with Knuckles, the “strongest” of the Sonic heroes, and while their personalities are very different, there’s a mutual respect from the outset. I suspect at least part of this is because the comic is written by longtime Sonic writer Ian Flynn, who probably knows those characters better than anybody alive, and finds it fairly easy to integrate them with the world-famous Justice League. It’s a silly book, to be certain, but you know what? I like silly. 

Sun., March 23

These covers, on the other hand, inspired a scene from Paddington 2.

Comics: Superman: The Doomsday Wars #1-3

Notes: The second Superman/Doomsday rematch, once again a Dan Jurgens joint, came in 1998. In another three-issue miniseries, we see Superman wrestling with his failures – specifically the death of Cat Grant’s son Adam at the hands of the Toyman. He keeps flashing back to a failure of his as a teenager, in which his family’s entire herd of cows froze to death while he was helpless to save them, and the dual failures are eating at him. Things are compounded when he learns that Lana Lang – who at this point was married to Pete Ross – has given birth, but the baby came prematurely and is near death. As Superman races to bring the child to medical attention, Doomsday returns and begins tearing through the Justice League…and this time, he’s not the mindless brute Superman faced before.

I have to say, as a sequel to the original Doomsday fight, I actually prefer this one to Hunter/Prey. The stakes are much more personal here, with Lana and Pete’s child hanging in the balance, and with Doomsday himself (spoiler) being propelled by Brainiac’s intelligence, making him far more dangerous. The story also takes place during the Grant Morrison era of the Justice League, so Doomsday is fighting a far more experienced and more powerful team than he did the first time. We don’t see the entire fight, but the stuff we see is really good, and in some instances (such as what he does to Plastic Man) downright chilling.

The one thing I’m not really down with is the characterization of Pete Ross. In the classic Superboy stories from the Silver Age, Pete was Clark’s best friend and the only one outside of the Kents who knew his secret identity, although Clark didn’t know that Pete knew it. After the Man of Steel reboot, the Superboy years never happened and the role of secret-keeper was switched to Lana, which was fine, but there are moments where Pete just doesn’t feel right. He’s outraged at Lana when she asks to speak to Clark privately (so she can ask him to have Superman save her son), and while a little insecurity about her speaking to the man Lana was in love with for so many years may be understandable, the blind rage he shows when he finds out that Superman is trying to save his child doesn’t make any sense at all. To be fair, Pete comes around by the end of the miniseries, but it’s a journey he never should have really been on in the first place.

Mon., March 24

Imagine this guy showing up on the bridge of the Cerritos.

Feature Film: Reign of the Supermen (2019)

Notes: The sequel to The Death of Superman picks up six months after the end of the first film, which in and of itself is an improvement over Superman/Doomsday, which made it seem as though the big guy was dead for about the length of an episode of Bluey. Almost simultaneously, four different people show up wearing the s-shield, and…oh, what the hell am I doing? You know how this story goes by now.

Instead of wasting time on a recap, let’s just talk about how this animated film works as an adaptation. The changes, for the most part, seem to be in service of making the story fit the animated DCU they were working with at the time. For example, in the absence of both Cadmus and WGBS, Superboy is a creation of LexCorp, although he still maintains his essentially good heart. In fact, his debut is interrupted by the Eradicator, showing up to eliminate “known criminal” Lex Luthor and winding up fighting the Kid, Steel, AND the Cyborg. It works pretty well – if there was anybody watching this who somehow didn’t know the story, it’s a good misdirect as far as hiding the Cyborg’s true nature. They also tie Superboy’s origin into the reconned version from his Teen Titans era – making him a mix of Superman and Lex’s DNA – which works better in this universe. An odd tweak has Henshaw, the Cyborg, initially working for Darkseid (deliciously voiced by the late, great Tony Todd) as part of his status as this DCU’s Big Bad. Instead of an attack on Coast City, Henshaw builds an army by offering them the same technology that “resurrected” him – really Apokalips tech. The end of the story isn’t quite as dramatic – we don’t get anything like the devastation of Coast City – but they manage to make the battle deeply personal, with the Cyborg’s rage being a bit more focused and less megalomaniacal. 

There’s really good stuff with Lois in here, such as a nice early scene where she and Wonder Woman commiserate over Superman’s absence. Later, she deduces John Henry’s secret identity, then teams up with him to uncover who the Cyborg is – funny for a character who, in her own words, is “the worst with secret identities.” But it makes Lois look smarter, more capable, and gives her an agency that she lacked even in the original story. She’s also present for the finale this time, taking an active role in the battle with the Cyborg, and I love seeing it. 

There are also nice Easter Eggs in this movie as well, such as newspaper cover photos that are based on the covers to the Reign of the Supermen comics. It’s the sort of thing that only the hardcore fans might notice but…well, if you haven’t noticed by now, I’m a hardcore fan. 

I don’t want to spend too much more time talking about the casting of this one, as there isn’t much more to say this time around than I said when I watched the first one a few weeks ago, but I do need to point out Rainn Wilson’s Lex Luthor again. While still slick and serpentine, Wilson plays him a bit funnier this time around. There’s a dismissive conversation with Superboy about how a clone is no different than a biological child that left me laughing, for instance, and he carries that same sensibility throughout the film.

This is a far superior adaptation of the story than the animated DC’s first attempt. It’s not totally faithful, but it works well for the world in which it is set, and that’s what I’m asking for here. 

Tues., March 25

I bought a bunch of these balloons once. My niece said I ruined her sixth birthday.

Comic Books: Superman: Day of Doom #1-4

Notes: To all things there must come an ending…even the saga of Superman’s death and return. I’m going to wrap up this surprisingly long dive into that storyline with the four-issue miniseries Superman: Day of Doom from 2002, published to coincide with the 10th anniversary of the story, written by Dan Jurgens with art by Jurgens and Bill Sienkiewicz. It’s the anniversary of Superman’s death in the DCU too (which anniversary isn’t really made explicit) and Daily Planet newbie Ty Duffy is tasked with writing a piece about people’s feelings about that monumental event. Despite not seeing the newsworthiness in a story that’s been told time and again, Duffy starts to dig, beginning with an interview with Blue Beetle and Booster Gold. (Remember what I said about Booster being one of Jurgens’s pet characters? This isn’t a complaint, I love seeing Booster Gold.) From there he begins an Odyssey that takes him to all walks of life in Metropolis, finding the stories that haven’t been told before.

The strength of this series, honestly, comes in those scenes where we hear new perspectives. Duffy talks to Perry White and Jimmy Olsen, but we saw them on the day. We know how they felt. It’s far more impactful when he talks to a random bystander who was left in a wheelchair thanks to Doomsday’s rampage, a priest who ministered to the suffering after the Coast City disaster, or uncovers the undisguised glee the Prankster felt when he heard that Superman was dead. 

There’s a running thread throughout the series as well, about someone causing disasters along a path that perfectly mirrors Doomsday’s trail of destruction. As the trail reaches Metropolis at the end of the third issue, the two storylines finally collide, with Duffy laying in to Superman with the truth about why he resents the hero’s return from the dead so much, just pages before he too is taken by the mystery villain. 

The story is surprisingly open-ended. Superman is forced to confront the tragedies that so many other people suffered during the battle with Doomsday and beyond, but the villain gets away and his true nature goes unrevealed. Even Duffy, who is the crux of this story’s emotional journey, doesn’t seem to really get the catharsis one would expect at the end. There’s a bitterness here that’s surprising. Don’t misunderstand – it’s pretty realistic. Even at the time of the original Doomsday storyline, the writers made it a point to refer to how many people Doomsday had killed, but they’d never really dug into those stories before. Even the most prominent Doomsday victims in the comics of the time – Mitch Anderson and his family – survived the rampage with the loss of their home, but no loss of life. And the Justice League showed up and built them a new house at Christmas, so where was the tragedy?

I have to wonder if writing this was a kind of catharsis for Jurgens himself. It feels almost like the writer is performing an act of penance, trying to atone for all the hundreds of fictional people that he killed (to say nothing of the seven million of Coast City) in the service of the story of the life and death of one man. It’s certainly the way that Duffy views the event, and it’s so odd that the comic book gives you the impression that – at least on some level – Dan Jurgens feels the same way.

The story of Superman’s death was tragic. The story of his return was triumphant. Day of Doom is a somewhat dark attempt to reconcile the two. It’s probably not something to be read in the immediate aftermath of the Death of Superman – after the upbeat ending of that story, it’s something that’ll bring you right down.

But it is most certainly a story that should be read.

Other Comics: Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane #11,

And thus, finally, we reach the end of the epic saga of the Death and Life of Superman, and I am reminded why I decided not to do TOO many of these extended storylines over the course of this year. I do have one more planned, but it’s going to be a few months before I’m ready to tackle it. Starting tomorrow I’m planning to get a little more random again…but I’m also looking for some help. I’m asking you, dear readers, to suggest some of the best single-issue Superman stories ever written for me to dig into. After spending nearly a month with one story, I want shorts. So hit me in the comments with your suggestions. They can come from any era, any continuity, any Superman you want. They don’t even have to be from a Superman comic book – if you can find a really great story from an issue of Blue Devil or something, I’m down for it. Preference will be given to stories available on the DC Universe Infinite app, but that doesn’t mean I’ll automatically reject stories that aren’t. Next week, it’s gonna be SUPERMAN BY REQUEST!

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. You can join in the Kryptonian Konversation every day in the Year of Superman Facebook Group!

Geek Punditry #112: Who Are the Thunderbolts? (And Does Even MARVEL Know?)

With Captain America: Brave New World currently in movie theaters, eyes of Marvel fans are turning to the next film from the studio, coming out in May, Thunderbolts*. Yes, that asterisk is part of the title. No, as it turns out, it isn’t actually important. But we’ll get to that later. Although they’re not exactly the Avengers (more on that later, too) the Thunderbolts have been bouncing around the Marvel Universe in one form or another for nearly 30 years, having first appeared in 1997. Despite the pedigree of having been around for such a long time, a lot of people don’t seem to quite understand who the Thunderbolts are, and honestly, you can’t blame them. If you look at their publishing history, it seems as though Marvel doesn’t really know who they are either.

Pictured: Even we don’t the hell know.

Let’s go into the history, shall we? It started in 1996, when the Marvel Universe came under attack by a villain named Onslaught. Powerful and ravenous, he started off fighting the X-Men before taking on virtually every superhero in the world and, when he was finally defeated, both the Avengers and Fantastic Four were killed in the battle. Or so it appeared, anyway – as it turned out, Franklin Richards saved them at the last second by shoving them onto an Alternate Earth, because things like that just happen in comic book universes sometimes. But the world at large BELIEVED that they were dead, and that was enough to cause serious chaos. With the Avengers and Fantastic Four gone, it was open season for villains, who saw an opportunity with the biggest, boldest heroes in the universe unavailable to thwart them.

Then the Thunderbolts appeared. 

I’m confused, which one of these guys is played by David Harbour?

A brand new team of brand new heroes, paragons of courage who had never been seen before, burst on the scene and began cleaning up the town. The gigantic Atlas! Armored hero MACH-1! The cosmic-powered Meteorite! High-flying Songbird! The scientific wizard Techno! And their sword-wielding leader, holder of a mantle of a forgotten World War II hero, Citizen V! After an appearance in Incredible Hulk, the Thunderbolts slid into their own series, written by Kurt Busiek and drawn by Mark Bagley. I was – and still am – a huge fan of both Busiek and Bagley, and so I naturally was eager to read the book, but it was a little confusing before we got there. Who were these new characters? Why should we care about them? Did they REALLY think they were worthy of replacing the Avengers?

And then, at the end of the first issue, Busiek hit us with a curveball that comic books have not been able to duplicate since. Citizen V traded his heroic mask for another one, a purple one…he was really Baron Helmut Zemo, arch-enemy of Captain America, and each of the Thunderbolts was a member of his Masters of Evil in disguise. When the Avengers and FF vanished, they decided to masquerade as heroes and win over the public trust as part of Zemo’s plan for world domination.

There will never be a reveal this awesome again, and I blame Mark Zuckerberg for that.

And we, the readers, were FLOORED.

It’s so hard to imagine, in today’s landscape, how such a reveal could have been pulled off. All of the press leading up to this issue just talked about these great new heroes and how awesome they were and how cool it was going to be to have new stars in the Marvel Universe. Honestly, it felt like standard comic book hype, and were it not for the fact that I enjoyed the creative team so much, I probably wouldn’t have read the comic at all, which would have been a huge mistake because it turned out to be phenomenal. But such a magic trick simply couldn’t happen in the current landscape. If Marvel tried to tell this story today, three days before the issue was published you would have a headline on the site formerly known as Comic Book Resources, shared on Facebook, announcing something like “Ending of Thunderbolts #1 will shock Avengers fans!” with a thumbnail image of Citizen V wearing Zemo’s mask just to make sure that everything was good and thoroughly ruined before it could be read.

The modern media is so, so stupid.

Anyway, the Avengers and Fantastic Four eventually returned to the main Marvel Earth, forcing Zemo to accelerate his plans for conquest, but in the time when they pretended to be heroes something funny happened to many of the members of the Thunderbolts. They began to realize that it wasn’t such a bad thing that they got to WIN a fight once in a while instead of getting beaten up. They started to enjoy the cheers and applause of the hero-starved citizens of New York. They actually found satisfaction in helping people instead of committing crimes. And when Zemo took action, the rest of the team rebelled against him, deciding that they’d rather remain heroes than go back to their old lives of villainy.

From there, the book underwent the first of what would be countless shifts in status quo. Instead of the adventures of villains pretending to be heroes, it was now a book about former villains seeking redemption, and this is the golden age of the franchise. They tried to make good. They even were joined by Hawkeye, who left the Avengers to help them out. Hawkeye himself had begun his career as an adversary for Iron Man, and he credited Captain America giving him a chance to join the Avengers for turning his life around. He saw leading the Thunderbolts as an opportunity to pay it forward. And so the book went on for some time – some of the members backsliding at times, new members joining, the roster shifting around, but for the entirety of Busiek’s run, then that of his successor Fabian Nicieza, it was one of my favorite books Marvel was publishing.

Then in issue #76, they inexplicably dumped the entire concept. Issue #75 ended the story of the Thunderbolts we knew and loved and the next month we got a whole new story with new characters in what could best be described as “Supervillain Fight Club.” It was baffling, it was awful, and it was Thunderbolts in name only. It also only lasted six issues before the book was cancelled. Not too long after that, they brought back the original team for a second run that lasted a few more years, and it was good, but once again they took a sharp turn. This time around the team was replaced by a new group of villains – not reformed ones this time – rounded up to do tasks for the government. It felt like a carbon copy of DC’s Suicide Squad at this point. And it didn’t get better.

Pictured: Your guess is as good as mine.

Since then, the team has been reinvented seemingly dozens of times. The Suicide Squad knock-off has been done more than once. At one point the team was re-christened “Dark Avengers” and made of villains pretending to be heroes (ESTABLISHED heroes this time, like the Scorpion pretending to be Spider-Man, Daken pretending to be Wolverine, and so forth) . One time it was made up of antiheroes like the Punisher, Deadpool, and Elektra. Another time it was villains trying to HUNT the Punisher. Once it was villains deputized by the Kingpin of Crime while he was mayor of New York, and another time it was a group of HEROES deputized by Luke Cage when HE was mayor of New York. And on occasion we’ve even got a group of super-spies like the Winter Soldier and the White Widow, which seems to be the version that the upcoming movie is based on.

Pictu–oh, whatever.

The problem, then, comes when somebody asks the question “Who are the Thunderbolts?” because you just read about 1300 words on that very subject, and we STILL don’t have a definitive answer. Ever since the original version of the Thunderbolts ended, Marvel has recycled the name over and over again but has never found any concept that STICKS. Even the super-spy incarnation of the team seems to have been willed into existence so that they have something to synergize with the movie.

And let’s talk about the movie, while we’re at it. Some time back, the title was slightly changed from Thunderbolts to Thunderbolts* with an asterisk. People asked Marvel if the asterisk was, in fact, part of the title, and they confirmed that it was. This led to mass speculation on the internet as to the significance of that asterisk. Why was it there? WHAT DID IT MEAN? It’s the kind of rabid online speculation that movie studios love because they don’t have to do very much to get the audience talking about the film. It did wonders back in the day for movies like The Blair Witch Project and The Matrix, which managed to get an enormous amount of word of mouth with relatively simple ad campaigns back in the early days of the internet. It’s a great strategy when you have a good payoff.

Spoiler alert: this time there was NOT a good payoff.

Like, not even the Great Lakes Avengers?

When the most recent round of posters for Thunderbolts* was released, we saw what the asterisk stood for, and the revelation was met with a resounding “Meh.” At the bottom of the poster, with the asterisk attached to indicate the footnote, was the tagline “The Avengers are not available.” It’s actually not a bad tagline. It seems to indicate the tone of the movie – slightly tongue-in-cheek, indicating that this is NOT a story about paladins like Captain America or knights in armor like Iron Man. If they had never made a big deal out of the asterisk and simply released that poster without comment, I would have thought it was a cute detail. But after the buildup it got, it may have been the biggest letdown in the MCU since everybody forgot there’s a giant hand sticking out of the Earth after the events of Eternals. 

I obviously haven’t seen the movie yet, and I am not here to talk trash about it. I never want there to be a bad superhero movie. I want every one of them to knock my socks off, and I really hope that this one does too. But the trailers seem to have that same feeling of a wannabe Suicide Squad with a group of characters that seem assembled not because it makes sense but because these are the pieces Marvel has on hand and they don’t know what to do with them.

Which, frankly, is a pretty good description of what it’s been like to try reading Thunderbolts comics for the last two decades or so. 

The Thunderbolts were at their best when it was a story about villains trying to make good. It was a compelling book then and it could still be one now. There are even seeds, I think, in recent comics, such as the recent Venom War tie-in miniseries Zombiotes. The old Spider-Man villain Shocker was on a quest to bring back his friend Boomerang from the dead, and wound up fighting alongside the heroes She-Hulk and Hellcat during an invasion of…let’s just say “monsters,” because I don’t want to spend another 1300 words explaining THAT one. But that story could easily be a germ for a new Thunderbolts team. And it’s a book that would allow for reinvention WITHOUT changing the concept, with characters rotating in and out – some of them succeeding in their heroic goal, others falling from grace. There’s drama to be mined there and SO MANY villains that could be used, if Marvel did it right.

No offense, Bucky, but I’d rather read this group.

Or, you know, we could spend another 20 years throwing Thunder spaghetti at the wall in the hopes that something, ANYTHING sticks.

I suppose the real test will be to see if anything sticks to the movie screen.

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. If Marvel is looking for a writer to try this obviously brilliant concept, they should know that Blake can be hired relatively cheap.

Year of Superman Week Seven: Superman Vs. the Flash

After the chaos of the last couple of weeks, I wanted to stabilize things a little bit, so it’s time for another theme week. He’s called the fastest man alive, but he’s often been forced to defend that title against the Man of Steel, so for the next seven days I’m going to put my attention on the competitions between Superman and the scarlet speedster himself. Yes, it’s Superman Vs. the Flash Week!

(Superman versus the) FLASH! (Bum bum bum bum bum) AAAH-AAAAAH!!!

Okay, I think I should make one thing clear here: in a straight-up foot race between Superman and the Flash, the Flash should win every time. Whether we’re talking about Barry Allen or Wally West, it doesn’t matter. The Flash’s entire job description is the fact that there’s nobody faster than him, and if you take that away it diminishes the character. Even Superman shouldn’t be allowed to do that.

That said, there have been many stories over the years that pit them against each other, and some of them are an awful lot of fun. 

Wed., Feb. 12

Comics: Superman #199, Flash #175

Literally, the starting line for this whole thing.

Notes: The first-ever Superman/Flash race, at least as far as I can tell, is Superman #199 from 1967. The United Nations recruit Superman and Flash to race for one another to raise funds for charity, a basic enough premise that reasonably pits the two of them against each other without some sort of contrived misunderstanding, which I greatly appreciate. Unfortunately, a pair of major crime syndicates also bet a fortune on the outcome of the race, one on Superman and one on the Flash, and so they both hatch schemes to make sure their chosen hero is the winner. After uncovering the schemes and beating the gangsters, Superman and Flash conspire to end the race in a precise tie so that neither crime syndicate can cash in on their winnings and, conveniently, so that DC Comics doesn’t have to definitively answer the question of which of the two men is the faster. 

What I find funny about this story is that, even though the story is contrived in such a way that the race ends in a tie, writer Jim Shooter almost seems to do so grudgingly. There are several times that we see the Flash doing things that seem to demonstrate that, as far as foot speed goes, he’s superior. As they race across the ocean, Flash is running on top of the water, whereas Superman has to swim at superspeed. Similarly, Supes has to burrow through sand dunes and climb over pyramids in the desert, while the Flash is simply vibrating right through them. At one point, Flash even employs a super-speed trick to rescue Superman from a random chunk of Kryptonite vomited up by a volcano without Superman even noticing. The only times Superman has an advantage is when his invulnerability or other non-speed powers give him an edge – in freezing cold, diving down a waterfall, or maintaining his balance across a frozen lake. Every task shows that the Flash’s super-speed tricks are superior, even if the story itself has to skirt the issue at the end. This would be a running theme through future competitions between Superman and Barry Allen.  

It’s covers like this, Superman. Covers like this are why some people call you a jerk.

Only a few months later, they got together for a rematch in Flash #175. It starts when the two heroes wind up muscling in on each other’s territory, each of them getting an emergency alert from the other on their Justice League signal devices that their teammate denies sending out. When the JLA assembles, it turns out the signal was sent by a pair of aliens Superman and Batman have encountered before. The aliens had placed a wager on the first race and, as it ended in a tie, insist on a rematch. Instead of lapping the Earth this time, though, they’re going to force the heroes to race across the Milky Way. Oh, and just in case they need a little added incentive, they promise to annihilate Central City if the Flash loses and Metropolis if Superman is the loser. So as sports commissioners, they’re still slightly less evil than Roger Goodell. 

The aliens throw lots of traps and obstacles in front of our heroes, each of whom independently finds evidence that the race isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. But it’s the Silver Age, so neither of them ever thinks to just TELL his teammate that the race is a fake, they make vague statements about things being “off” until they beat the aliens on the last two pages, with the race once again not having any definitive winner. 

As snarky as I sound, I actually did enjoy this issue. It was a pretty decent follow-up to the first race, and it gets bonus points for the last panel, where Flash and Superman look directly at the reader and invite them to go back to the finish line on Page 21 and decide for themselves who they think won. You can’t get away with stuff like that these days.

Thur., Feb. 13

Comics: World’s Finest Comics #198-199

“Okay, we’re ACTUALLY gonna declare a winner this time, right? No more cop-outs?

Notes: Three years after the first two races, DC decided to try it again. Although World’s Finest has, historically, been the Superman/Batman team-up book, there was a period in which it was a Superman team-up title, with Superman as the anchor and different guest-stars for each issue, so it was here that they staged the next installment in this saga. And THIS time, the cover of issue #198 proclaims, “There MUST be a winner!”

Race #3 has the wildest conceit yet – the Guardians of the Universe (the little blue guys who sponsor the Green Lantern Corps) have detected an incursion of “Arachronids,” faster-than-light lifeforms that are disrupting space and time. The only way to save the universe is for two people to race in a path opposite that of the Arachronids, and the only ones speedy enough to do the job are Superman and the Flash. (This is in the days before the “Flash Family,” of course, there was only Barry and Wally West as Kid Flash. If this were to happen today there are roughly a dozen speedsters more qualified than Superman to handle this deal.) Anyway, the Guardians provide the Flash with an amulet that will allow him to race in space and he suggests – since we never actually settled the question of who’s faster – why not make this another race? 

Things are going swimmingly until the Arachronids destroy a sun, knocking our heroes off-track on a planet where the sunlight keeps shifting from yellow to red, which negates Superman’s powers. Oh, and did I mention that the time-disruptions have chucked Jimmy Olsen back to ancient Rome, where he’s about to get executed by a firing squad of archers? 

Part two of the story reveals the truth: the Arachronids were created by General Zod and a group of Phantom Zone escapees, and they’ve got Superman and the Flash captured on a planet that straddles the line between dimensions. They wind up on a world where the red sun is draining Superman’s powers and the Flash has his swiftness curtailed when the baddies steal the amulet given to him by the Guardians, leaving them to crawl towards the device that’s causing all the chaos. WHO WILL MAKE IT FIRST?

This is the first time I’ve read this particular two-parter and, I’ve gotta say, I really enjoyed it. It’s a different angle on the Superman/Flash race, one that’s apart from the usual “racing for charity” conceit or the other various contrivances that have pit them against one another. No, this time it’s a totally original contrivance, and I appreciate that. I also appreciate the fact that they TECHNICALLY declare a winner of the race this time (it’s the Flash, spoiler alert), but they do so on a world where both heroes are virtually powerless and are literally crawling towards their destination, so the question as to who’s really faster when they’re at normal power is still left up in the air. I’m sure that was the mandate at the time. I’m glad that they eventually got over that mandate, though, as some of the later stories we’re going to get around to reading will demonstrate. 

Other Comics: Jenny Sparks #6 (Superman appearance), Black Lightning Vol. 4 #3 (Steel II appearance), The Question: All Along the Watchtower #3 (Superman Cameo), Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane #10

Fri., Feb. 14

Comics: DC Comics Presents #1-2

“Barry? Clark. Hey, wanna be the first guest in my new team-up book? Noooo…not a race this time…I wouldn’t do that to you…”

Notes: Eventually, World’s Finest went back to being a Superman/Batman book, and while Batman had his own team-up series (The Brave and the Bold), Superman was given his own with DC Comics Presents. In the first two issues of this series, published in 1978, we got the next installment of the friendly rivalry between Superman and the Flash – and, in fact, I’m pretty sure this was the last such story before Barry’s death in Crisis on Infinite Earths. (If I’m wrong, by all means, correct me in the comments.) 

This time around, our heroes are captured by a pair of warring alien races, one of whom has sent an agent forward in time to go through the “cosmic curtain” that separates the end of the timeline to the beginning. (Time, you see, is evidently a giant loop, but their time machines only go FORWARD, so they have to take the long way around, as if they were flying across Europe and Asia to get to California from Florida. Flat-timers hate this issue.) Since the Flash “won” the previous race, they send him to help their agent in the future, with the consequence for failure being the destruction of Earth. The other aliens, though, force Superman’s hand by telling him that if their enemy succeeds in changing time, Krypton will explode SOONER than it was supposed to, and Superman will never exist. 

The major difference between this two-parter and the previous three races between Superman and the Flash is that the race is across time, rather than space, and it’s a significant enough change to really make this one stand out. Superman’s actions seem a bit out of character, of course – he’s risking the destruction of Earth to save his own life, a task even the VILLAINS are surprised to see him willingly take. Naturally, it turns out to all be part of the plan.

This one, unlike the other three races we’ve seen, doesn’t even really try to address the issue of who “wins.” Once Superman’s plan is unveiled, the heroes work together (as it should be) to thwart BOTH sects of warring aliens and fix all the timey-wimey chaos before anyone is killed, especially Jimmy Olsen. The conclusion, then, is satisfying, but leaves the central question essentially unanswered. In fact, the first time we get anything resembling a true answer, it would have to come from Barry’s protege, Wally West, another 12 years later.

Other Comics: Superman’s Pal, Jimmy Olsen #135, Justice League of America #16, Action Comics #372

Podcast: DC Studios Showcase Episode 1 (Discussion of documentary film Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story)

Valentine’s Day Stuff: Today is, in case you forgot, Valentine’s Day. (And if you DID forget, this isn’t going to be posted until February 19th, so you are SERIOUSLY out of luck.) But I couldn’t let the day pass without noting my darling wife, Erin, and how she indulged my quest for the Year of Superman today.

Pictured: Love. And personal hygiene products.

She got me the McFarlane Toys Super Powers Fleischer-style Superman, a figure I’ve been hunting for ever since I found out it existed, but have been resisting paying eBay prices. If I won the lottery, I would build an entire toy display room in my palatial mansion, and one full wall would be dedicated to a collection of Super Powers figures, Marvel Secret Wars figures, and figures from comparable toy lines like the Archie Mighty Crusaders and Defenders of the Earth series of my youth. She also got me a set of the new Superman-branded Old Spice body wash and deodorant, which I first saw in an ad a week or two ago where it was being promoted along with Batman-branded products, prompting me to ask her, “Who do you think smells better? Superman or Batman? I bet Batman sweats a lot.”

And yet, she’s been married to me for over 10 years now. Get you one who understands you like mine understands me, friends. 

Sat., Feb. 15

Comic Books: Adventures of Superman #463, Flash Vol. 2 #53

“On your marks! Get se–wait a second, haven’t we done this before?”

Notes: The next time the Man of Steel and the Scarlet Speedster would face off against one another wouldn’t come until 1990, at which point both of them had experienced some drastic changes. Superman had gone through the post-Crisis John Byrne reboot, whereas Barry Allen had died in Crisis on Infinite Earths and been replaced by his protege, former Kid Flash Wally West. Like a lot of Superman history, it’s unclear if any of the previous races with Barry were canon to Superman at this time, but the story makes it quite clear that it’s the first time he’s faced off against Wally, at least, and it’s a distinction that Superman takes pretty seriously.

This story involves our old pal from the Fifth Dimension, Mr. Mxyzptlk, who shows up on Earth this time restructuring Mount Rushmore to include his own face. The Flash happens to get there first and, when Mxy finds out that he’s supposedly the “fastest man alive,” he decides to put that claim to a test. If Superman can beat the Flash in a race around the world, he says, he’ll pop out of our dimension for the usual 90 days. Superman notes, rather dismissively, that Wally hasn’t been the Flash that long and strongly implies that beating KID Flash won’t be too difficult, and Wally does his best impression of Michael Jordan in that meme. The race is on. 

From here out, the story is actually pretty straightforward. Unlike most of the races we don’t have to deal with any shady stipulations, misdirects for the reader, or bad guys trying to fix the outcome of the race, except for your typical Mxy shenanigans. There is a nice little scene I’d forgotten about, where Mxyzptlk tries to offer Lex Luthor a hunk of red Kryptonite but Lex turns him down, which actually makes this story a stealth prequel to the Krisis of the Krimson Kryptonite story we read last month. But as far as the actual RACE goes, it’s pretty cut and dried, with both heroes putting the pedal to the metal until, in the final stretch, Wally reaches out and beats Superman by a nose. 

Totally saving the day! As it turns out, Mxy had learned about deception from Lex in a previous visit and so he was trying it out. Although he SAID he was only going to leave Earth if Superman won, he had always REALLY planned to leave if the FLASH won. It never occurs to him to simply lie again, which is actually kind of a silly, charming hat to put on this dude in his silly, charming hat.

This was the first Superman/Flash race I ever read, and as such it’s always held a place of esteem in my personal pantheon of Superman stories, but I think it’s important to note which versions of the characters we’re looking at. Superman was only a few years post-Byrne, an era in which his power had been scaled down dramatically to make him less “godlike.” Over the years his powers would slowly creep up in strength again until today he’s more powerful than ever before, but as Supermen go, the one in this story was relatively slow. However, this was also early in Wally’s tenure as the Flash, a period during which he was much slower than Barry ever was. When Mark Waid took over Wally’s series a few years later he established that Wally had a subconscious fear of overshadowing his predecessor and had a self-imposed mental block limiting his speed. Once he got over that, he became the fastest Flash there ever was. The point is that if you took the current versions of either Superman OR the Flash and popped them into the race during this era, either of them could smoke the two characters we watched race today.

This time it’s a METAPHORICAL race! The greatest kind of race there is!

I also read issue #53 of Wally’s first solo title, a story which was NOT actually a race, despite what the cover promised. In this one, Jimmy Olsen has gotten himself captured by some South American warlord (because that’s what Jimmy Olsen DOES) and Superman decides to recruit the only person alive faster than him (as established in the previous race) to help find Jimmy before he’s unalived. This is a typical superhero team-up story: good, not special, but enjoyable. I think the most interesting thing about it, the thing that gives it a spot of interest in superhero history, is that this happens to be the issue in which Wally’s pal the Pied Piper (former villain, now reformed) comes out to him as gay. I don’t know if this is the FIRST openly gay character in mainstream comics, but he’s certainly ONE of the first, and while it’s no big deal in today’s comic book landscape, for 1991 it was a pretty surprising revelation. There ya go, ya learned something today. 

Sun., Feb. 16

Comic Book: DC First: Superman/Flash #1

Big Good Vs. Big Good.

Notes: I’ve got a sick kid to take care of this afternoon and, as a parent, that has to take precedence over pretty much everything. But in-between far too frequent trips to the bathroom and a larger-than-average number of baths, I made it a point to squeeze in the next story in the Superman/Flash pantheon. This time we leap ahead to 2002 for DC First: Superman/Flash. This was a series of one-shots DC did that showed the first meetings between various characters – but as Superman’s first races between Barry Allen and Wally West were already pretty well documented, for this special they did something a little different and very cool: they showed Superman’s first race with Jay Garrick, the original Golden Age Flash. 

This issue reads more as a special issue of the then-current Flash run. It’s written by Geoff Johns, who was writing that book at the time, and it deals with subplots involving Pied Piper and Jay’s wife, Joan, with Superman’s involvement coming in coincidentally. Wally and Jay head to Metropolis to a bookshop where they’ve sourced a rare book as a gift for Joan, only to run afoul of the old Flash rogue Abra Kadabra. The faux wizard of the 64th century casts a spell that begins causing Wally to age rapidly, then tells Superman and Jay they can save him if they can catch him in a race – with the caveat that whoever touches Wally first will take the curse upon themselves. What you’ve got, then, is perhaps the greatest conceit for a Superman/Flash race of them all. They aren’t racing for charity, they aren’t racing for ego, they aren’t even racing with the fate of the world at stake. They are literally racing one another for the RIGHT TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES TO SAVE WALLY. There is no better motivation for these two heroes.

I know I read this book when it first came out. It’s in my collection, and I was an avid reader of both the Superman comics (duh) and Flash, so I am 100 percent certain I read it. But it came out 23 years ago, and I didn’t really remember the story at all until I sat down to read it this afternoon, and it honestly blew me away. Even though it’s more of a Flash story than a Superman story, it really exemplifies the values of Superman in a way that a lot of these other races failed to do. It may be my favorite read for this week to date.  

Mon., Feb. 17

Comics: Flash: Rebirth #3, Superman #709

This issue, as far as I’m concerned, is the final word on the whole thing.

Notes: I actually struggled with whether to include this issue of Flash: Rebirth from 2009 in my Year of Superman reading. It’s the middle of a storyline, and Superman’s appearance is barely a cameo, but that one sequence in which he appears is significant enough that I felt it warranted inclusion. Barry Allen, having returned from the dead in the terribly inaccurately named Final Crisis event, is being transformed into a new Black Flash, essentially the spirit of death for speedsters such as himself. To protect Wally, his grandson Bart, and everyone else he loves, he decides he’s going to rush back into the Speed Force before the transformation can happen, and Superman takes off after him. At this point, the League had gone through its share of recent tragedies, and both Aquaman and the Martian Manhunter were dead (they got better), so Clark isn’t about to let Barry die again. 

This leads to one of my favorite pages that Geoff Johns ever wrote, as the two of them are racing each other up the Daily Planet building and Superman says, “I’ve raced you before, Barry. I even won some of those races.”*

Barry simply says, “Those were for charity, Clark.”

And then he leaves him in the dust.

Like I keep saying, the Flash SHOULD be faster than Superman. This issue is the best evidence of that ever.

(*By the way, despite what he says, I don’t actually recall Superman ever winning one of those races. There were a few ties, but every time a victor was declared it was the guy in red. I’m going to assume, from the way Clark talks, that there may have been other charity races off-panel that we didn’t get to watch. And now that I’ve said it, it’s going to manifest in the universe as a seven-part time-travel crossover event, coming this fall.) 

“You’re GROUNDED young man! That means no disrupting the time stream! Just do your homework and straight to bed!”

The final Superman/Flash face-off I could find in comics came in Superman #709 from 2011, part of J. Michael Straczynski’s “Grounded” storyline. In this arc, Superman decides he needs to reconnect with the ordinary people he is sworn to protect, so he commits himself to walk across the United States. It’s an interesting concept, to be certain, and Straczynski is an excellent writer, but the general consensus on this storyline is that it sort of fell flat. I think the problem is that it went on for far too long (who wants an entire year of Superman just…walking?) and even Straczynski himself seemed to lose interest in it, as evidenced by the fact that he bowed out before the story was over and it was completed by Chris Roberson. 

The “race” part of this issue is over fairly quickly. While walking through Boulder, Colorado, the entire town is suddenly transformed into a Kryptonian city. Superman soon figures out that the transformation is the work of the Flash, who has been overtaken by a Kryptonian artifact and he needs Superman to set him free. After he does so, they have a cup of coffee and talk about legacy. This is what I mean, by the way, when I say that the “Grounded” story went on too long. The story of this issue is perfectly fine, in and of itself, but when you read it in the context of the entire year-long storyline, it was too much of the same thing over and over: Superman walking somewhere, doubting himself, having a significant encounter with various characters (both new and previously established) and coming to a peaceful resolution. That’s great ONCE, but do you really want to read it twelve issues in a row?

The most interesting thing to me about this issue is that it happens concurrently with that month’s issue of Superboy, in which the Kid of Steel races KID Flash for the first time, and which Clark and Barry catch a glimpse of on a diner television. I’ll take a look at that issue tomorrow when I look at the few races I could find between members of the Superman and Flash families other than the patriarchs. 

TV Episode: Superman: The Animated Series, Season Two, Episode 4, “Speed Demons”

“Loved you on Wings, by the way.”

Notes: That’s all the comic book Superman/Flash races I could find, but there’s still this episode of Superman: The Animated Series, the first appearance of the Flash in the DC Animated Universe. In this episode he’s voiced by Charlie Schlatter, although Michael Rosenbaum would take over the character for the Justice League cartoons. (Tim Daly would be replaced as Superman by George Newburn too. I guess not everyone can be Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill.) In this episode, Superman and the Flash are pitted against each other in, as per their first-ever encounter, a charity race. This time the rules are a bit more sensible for the two of them: the winner will be the first to complete 100 laps around the globe. Of course, just like many of their races in the comics, there’s a catch – the arm bands they’re wearing to track their progress are, in truth, using them to build up ionic energy to power a plot by the Weather Wizard. (Weather Wizard, by the way, was voiced by the late Miguel Ferrer in a delightfully dastardly way.)

This episode never makes it clear which Flash we’re watching, Barry or Wally. In terms of attitude and personality, it’s definitely influenced by the early days of Wally’s solo title. He’s slick, he’s cocky, and he relentlessly flirts with Lois Lane, none of which are things you could ever imagine Barry doing. It takes plenty of cues from the classic comics, though, such as the race itself being derailed halfway through when Superman and the Flash catch wind (rimshot) of the Weather Wizard’s plan and call it off to get around to some good ol’ fashioned thwartin’. It’s easy to forget that the Batman cartoon almost never had guest-stars from outside the Batman family, so this was one of the first times we really started to see an animated universe begin to form in the Paul Dini/Bruce Timm era. It was a real delight to revisit this episode again. 

There is ONE other Superman/Flash race that I haven’t covered here, but for what I consider a good reason. It’s part of Tom King’s Superman: Up in the Sky series, which is a magnificent comic in its own right, and I intend to cover it in its entirety at some point this year. Plus, looking at the issue with the race on its own wouldn’t really make a ton of sense, absent of the context. I’m bringing it up here mainly so that nobody thinks I forgot about it.

Tues., Feb. 18

Comics: Superboy Vol. 4 #5, Supergirl: The Fastest Women Alive #1

“I don’t know why Barry and Clark always make such a big deal about this.”

Notes: I had one day left in “Superman Vs. The Flash Week,” but I had run out of actual Superman/Flash races, so I decided to close it out with a pair of comics featuring other members of the respective Super- and Flash-Families strapping on their jogging shoes to see who’s swiftest. First was Superboy Vol. 4 #5 from 2011, the first ever Superboy/Kid Flash race (this Kid Flash being Bart Allen, Barry’s grandson, who previously had gone by “Impulse” and since has retaken that name). In this era, Superboy was living in Smallville, and his presence had rocked the town with a few supervillain attacks that resulted in some pretty major damage. This time around, the race is scheduled to raise money to rebuild the town. As the two old friends zip across the globe, though, Bart can tell that Conner Kent’s mind is elsewhere.

This issue is part of Jeff Lemire’s run on the title, a tenure that was cut tragically short by the New 52 reboot later that year. Lemire was doing a great job at grounding Superboy in a way that this version of the character so rarely is, giving him a home and a family in Smallville to contend with, and making his adventures a mix of the cosmic and the mundane, something Lemire is exceptionally good at. (And if you don’t believe me, check out his series Black Hammer.) Despite the race being a backdrop, the mundane part is the focus of the issue, with nary a supervillain plot or alien invader to disrupt things. Instead, in the midst of a race across the globe, Conner just confides in his friend about his pain over his recent breakup with Wonder Girl.

The ending of the race is a cop-out, which we’ve all come to expect, but this may be the biggest one yet. (Spoiler: somehow, Krypto crosses the finish line first and everyone accepts it, even though it feels as legit as Harry Potter’s name being tossed in the Goblet of Fire.) Still, if you’re thinking of reading this book, the Lemire run is extremely worthy of your time – it’s just that this issue, by itself, may not be quite so satisfying without the context of the rest of the run.

Finally, we’ve got the bizarre little one-shot Supergirl: The Fastest Women Alive, a special comic from 2019 presented by Snickers. Very, very much by Snickers. There is Snickers branding on nearly every page, and even the captions that tell you where the racers are at the moment are branded in the Snickers logo font. The message, just in case you missed it, is: Snickers.

Did we mention it’s presented by Snickers?

For the first half of the issue, though, this is actually a decent enough race between Supergirl and Jesse Quick. It uses most of the tropes of the previous races, such as it being a charity race, Supergirl not being allowed to fly, and so forth. The turn comes halfway through, though, when the racers discover that the Parasite has attacked the arena where the race began and will end, and he’s already got Superman and the Flash on the ropes. The lightning ladies rush back to save the day, but how can they possibly get the energy they need to overload and defeat the energy-sucking Parasite?

HOW CAN THEY FIND THE NECESSARY ENERGY?

SNICKERS? GOT A SUGGESTION?

This story is a full-issue equivalent of the delightfully goofy old Hostess comic book ads, only way less subtle. 

I kinda love it.

And thus, friends, concludes Superman Vs. The Flash week. My feelings haven’t really changed, I must say. In any contest of speed between a Super of any stripe and a Flash by any name, the Flashes should always be the ones to come out on top. Sorry, Superman, but it’s their whole entire deal. You can’t really compete.

But this week has proven it’s fun to watch you try anyway.

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. You can join in the Kryptonian Konversation every day in the Year of Superman Facebook Group!

Year of Superman Week Five: Like Throwing Darts at a Board

As I approach the end of January, having finished up my first theme week, I find myself in a bit of a pickle in regards to what Superman content I want to read today. I’m not ready to kick off another theme week yet, but as I look over my (prodigious) list, I find that most of the stuff I’m particularly excited for is all suited for one of the theme weeks I’ve got planned for later in the year. So what, then, should I read on this random Wednesday? Never let it be said that I make things easy on myself. After some brief deliberation, I just scroll through the offerings on DC Universe Infinite until I settle, fairly randomly, on my first read for the week.

Wed., Jan. 29

Comics: Legends of the DC Universe #39, Superman Vs. Meshi #1

Notes: DC once published a title called Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight, which featured a different creative team on every story arc telling stories that were not necessarily constrained by any particular continuity. There were some amazing stories told in this series, and they eventually spun the idea off into Legends of the DC Universe, a series which not only switched out the creative team with every story, but also the main character. This issue, a one-off by Danny Fingeroth and Randy Green, is called “Sole Survivor of Earth.”

Which, let’s face it, sounds like a depressing idea even if you WERE that sole survivor.

The issue begins with a very familiar scene – a scientist and his wife concerned about an upcoming disaster that could mean the end of life on their planet, a fear made even more prescient due to their infant son. But we aren’t on Krypton this time – we’re in Washington state. Superman, meanwhile, is at the Fortress of Solitude, building a memorial to his Kryptonian parents, when he gets a notification of a disturbance at the Earth’s core. The scientist, Dr. Balboa, has been studying the tremors and trying to stabilize them, only to accidentally trigger a sequence that could destroy the Earth. In desperation, he and his wife drop their son into a spaceship and blast him to another inhabited system. Why not? It worked for the last guy.

Except in this case, the “last guy” manages to save the world, stopping the destruction Balboa’s experiments caused but sapping a lot of his power anyway. When he tracks down Dr. Balboa, he learns about the child in the rocket and sets off to space, despite his own power loss, to find him.

This is a good issue. It’s never going to make a boxed set of the Greatest Superman Stories Ever Told (that reminds me, I’ve got to find and read my copy of The Greatest Superman Stories Ever Told), but it’s a fun story that nicely turns the traditional Superman origin story backwards. There’s not a lot of tension, to be honest, because the outcome is never in any doubt. Nobody thinks that Balboa is actually going to blow up the Earth, and there’s no such thing as an infant in danger once Superman finds out that they need help. Their survival is pretty much guaranteed. But that doesn’t make it any less fun to look at things from a different point of view once in a while.  

I also, somewhat randomly, went back and read Superman Vs. Meshi #1. This manga series was a part of a line of books that DC co-produced with Kodansha Comics. Joker: One Operation Joker was another, and the third, Batman: Justice Buster is still running. I always considered this the most bizarre of the three, though, because…well… it’s about Superman eating at Japanese chain restaurants. 

You will believe a man can fry…rice. I’m sorry, that was terrible.

No. Really. That’s what this entire series is about. And it ran for 23 issues.

In this first issue, having been turned down by Lois for a lunch date, Clark whips over to Japan to indulge at an all-you-can eat yakitori joint. (For people, like myself, who have no idea what yakitori is, I Googled it – chicken skewers.) There’s a brief fight scene – a flashback as he remembers the villain he fought who on the day he first discovered the restaurant, but the bulk of the story is him ordering various meat skewers and gushing over how delicious they are. The writer, Satoshi Miyagawa, lovingly describes the food in a way that makes you wonder whether you’re reading a superhero comic book or a restaurant review, and at one point he’s so “overwhelmed by flavor” that the food literally activates his heat vision. He even goes on about how well the yakitori pairs with the soda he ordered. 

Perhaps the weirdest thing is that none of this ever feels out of character. Would Superman pop over to Japan just for lunch? Yeah, I think he would. Would he have a running inner monologue about how good the food is and how it all comes together? People forget that Clark Kent is a writer, and like most writers I know, he probably has an inner monologue that never shuts the hell up. The only difference is that this is a scene that they would almost never write in an American comic because it’s too important that we get to the scene where he has to beat the crap out of Terra-Man or something. 

This book is so WEIRD. But for some reason, I like it. 

Thur., Jan. 30

TV Episodes: Superman and Lois Season 2, Ep. 1, “What Lies Beneath”

The “V” season, apparently.

Notes: The second season starts off right where season one ended – the rescue of Natasha Irons from John Henry’s original universe…but in her universe, this Natasha is the daughter of Lois Lane, something that causes issues for the both of them. Meanwhile, both Jordan and Jonathan are facing issues with their respective girlfriends, and the teenagers acting like teenagers have Lois and Clark butting heads with each other.

In my notes on the season one finale, I mentioned that this show was cut from a different cloth than other CW shows. As season two begins, though, it feels a bit more CW than ever. The clash between Lois and Clark over Jonathan’s behavior feels really forced – Lois is taking her frustrations out on Clark and he’s not acting with the degree of empathy one would expect from Superman. I’m actually starting to feel a little vibe from the Lois Lane miniseries that I read last week, where Lois acted inexplicably angry towards everyone. Eventually, she explains this as anger over her own mother leaving her family when she was young, and thinking she’s like that because she doesn’t feel anything motherly for Natasha…who, we have to stress here, is NOT her daughter. It doesn’t really make that much sense.

Natasha, meanwhile, is behaving even more irrational, taking her frustrations out on her father and somehow blaming him for the fact that the people who were her friends in her home dimension don’t know her here. Huh? In her case, at least, the frustration is more understandable, but the show skips over showing us why Natasha can’t seem to fit in. There’s an undercurrent of rage to this episode that’s baffling me. 

Superheroes? Oh yeah, there’s a little of that. Superman learns that Sam Lane’s replacement at the DOD is using the X-Kryptonite recovered in season one to create his own little army, complete with his shield, which Superman isn’t happy about. I sense this is going to be the undercurrent for this season. 

Comics: Superman: Lex Luthor Special #1, DC’s Lex and the City #1

I mean, not so’s you would notice, Lex.

Notes: I also read a couple of this weeks’ new comics today, one of which is more relevant than the others. The Superman: Lex Luthor Special is continuing the ongoing storyline from the main Superman comic and, in fact, is written by regular writer Joshua Williamson. In last fall’s DC All In Special, Darkseid was (seemingly) killed, but a new, alternate universe was forged, infused by Darkseid’s negative energy, as opposed to the more hopeful environment of the main DCU. In this issue, Mr. Terrific is trying to crack the secret of this other world (which readers will know is the setting of DC’s Absolute Superman and other titles), but the inherent darkness is too much. There’s only one man brilliant enough to understand this but with a mind that won’t be corrupted by it…unfortunately, Lex Luthor has had amnesia for some time, and has been trying to live down the dark deeds of his previous self. 

This is hardly the first time we’ve seen Lex try to be a good guy, but much like we’ve seen Lois become Superwoman before, this series has been handling it well. It’s such a tight balancing act with Lex, as we see there is a goodness in him, but it’s usually overshadowed by his darker, more selfish nature. This issue seems to promise that story is moving forward now, with a final revelation that’s going to change things. I’m more interested in the flashbacks to Lex’s childhood that help paint who he really is. Good issue.

This week also gave us DC’s annual Valentine’s Day special this year titled DC’s Lex and the City. Luthor is the star of the title story in this anthology, in which a gossip columnist gets tangled in his web. It seems a little farfetched that Lex would be smitten with this woman, to be honest, but despite that It’s an okay story. It’s an okay anthology, with some stories being better than others, as is usually the case. If you’re planning to read this, the Mr. Freeze story is the prize of the bunch. Really, though, the main reason I’m even taking any notes about it is to point out that whoever is giving titles to DC’s holiday specials deserves a raise. Lex and the City is hilarious, and it goes right up there with the Christmas special Grifter Got Run Over By a Reindeer and the Halloween haunt Are You Afraid of Darkseid?, among others. I love it. 

Fri., Jan. 31st

Comics: Day of the Krypton Man from Superman Vol. 2 #41, Adventures of Superman #464, Action Comics #651, Superman Vol. 2 #42, Adventures of Superman #465, Action Comics #652; Return of the Krypton Man from Superman: The Man of Steel #1, Superman Vol. 2 #57, Adventures of Superman #480, Action Comics #667

It’s so embarrassing when they mix up your suits at the cleaners.

Notes: Today I (again, randomly) decided to read the two storylines that most contributed to the creation of the Eradicator, one of the best concepts of the late 80s before he got a little watered down (as happens to a lot of great villains, am I right Venom, Carnage, Sabretooth, the Joker, and Doomsday?) I considered starting with the storyline that where he first showed up, but the Exile arc is pretty long and I’ve already decided to restrict myself to only two long story arcs this year, lest I have no room for anything else. So here’s the short version: while exiled in space, Superman found a Kryptonian artifact called the Eradicator which he brought back to Earth, where it constructed a citadel in the antarctic, which eventually became this continuity’s version of the Fortress of Solitude. As Day of the Krypton Man begins Draaga, an alien Superman encountered during that arc, is coming to Earth to get his revenge on the big guy. At the same time, that cosmic bruiser Lobo is heading to Earth to prove how tough HE is by throwing down with Supes. Also, Maxima of Almerac is once again zipping to Metropolis to convince Superman to become her mate. And if that wasn’t enough, when they get to Earth they all find a Superman that is becoming cold and aloof, ignoring his family and friends and approaching his task as Earth’s protector with stark logic rather than his trademark compassion. He’s firing people from his new job as editor at Newstime magazine, forgetting Lana Lang’s birthday, and spurning Lois when she tries to ask him out. This is, simply, neither the Superman nor the Clark Kent any of us know. 

The Eradicator’s doing, as it turns out. The device is manipulating Superman, transforming him both mentally and physically into the “ideal” Kryptonian. His encounters with the three alien menaces all end in ways that would be out of character for Superman when he’s in his right mind, the fight with Draaga even transporting the top half of the Statue of Liberty to the moon. (Professor Hamilton’s fault – he was trying to help, but if Superman was himself he’d never have allowed the fight to happen at such a popular tourist attraction in the first place.) Eventually he makes the decision to abandon both of his identities, Superman AND Clark Kent, and live merely as Kal-El, a Kryptonian trying to bring Krypton to Earth.

I love the ending of this one. What ultimately snaps him out of it and allows him to break free of the Eradicator’s influence is concern for his parents, Jonathan and Martha Kent. When the Eradicator endangers the two of them, his reprogramming of Clark’s brain starts to break down and the real Superman comes back. Over the nearly 90 years that this character has existed, the degree to which he identifies as a Kryptonian has always varied wildly from one incarnation to another. This is the way I see him: he’s a human, a resident of the planet Earth, who happens to have a Kryptonian heritage. And when the two clash, it’s Clark Kent that wins out over Kal-El.

At the end of this story, Superman balls up the Eradicator and chucks it into the sun, thinking that’ll be the end of it, but about 15 months (and one engagement) later, he shows up again in the appropriately-titled Return of the Krypton Man storyline. The Eradicator returns, this time in a humanoid form, having used his time in the sun to begin the process of transforming it into a red dwarf to mimic the sun of Krypton. The next step in his plan is to terraform Earth itself into a replica of his dead planet. I may have mentioned a few weeks ago how tired I am of the “Kryptonian villain tries to turn Earth into Krypton” trope…well, I first read this story when it was originally published, long BEFORE I got tired of it, so it doesn’t bother me quite as much.

“And take THAT!”

Although this one is four issues instead of six, each of those four issues was giant-sized, so the page count works out about the same. Despite that, this one feels like a much quicker read. This storyline started with Superman: The Man of Steel #1, the book which gave the “Triangle Era” of Superman four titles and essentially making his adventures a weekly rather than a bunch of semi-related monthlies. With this storyline the creative teams were slightly shuffled as well. The Superman/Eradicator fight is ongoing, beginning at the end of Man of Steel #1 and continuing more or less uninterrupted throughout the other three issues, while a number of subplots are established or developed throughout the four issues. Among them we’ve got Perry White, on leave from the Daily Planet, trying to save his marriage; his temporary replacement laying off 10 percent of the newspaper staff, including Jimmy Olsen; Cat Grant finding herself the target of harassment from her boss while Jose Delgado (aka Gangbuster) looks after her son; and a terrorist group called Cerberus making attacks across Metropolis. All of these stories play out and develop as Superman and the Eradicator fight on Earth, off in space, and back to Earth again. 

Superman wins, of course, with the help of Emil Hamilton. This is a decent story that eventually turns out to be setup for the Death and Return of Superman story, which I’ll probably be getting to in just a couple of weeks. I do wonder, though, if they were already planning that when this storyline was put to press or if it was just one of those moments of serendipity.

Sat., Feb. 1

TV Episode: Superman and Lois Season 2, Ep. 2, “The Ties That Bind”, Ep. 3, “The Thing in the Mines”, Ep. 4, “The Inverse Method”

Notes: It’s been a rough 24 hours for me, and I have to confess, I wasn’t certain I’d get around to Superman today. But I’ve gone this far and I don’t want to break the streak so early in the year, so I’m jumping into the next few episodes of Superman and Lois.  

There’s a LOT going on in these few episodes. Clark is being plagued by strange visions and emotional outbursts that are making him dangerous. Trying to figure out what’s going on, he discovers that his newly-found brother has somehow regained his powers. Lois is being targeted by a podcast host who’s getting sources of hers from an old story about a cult to recant their testimonies to her. Jonathan suspects a kid at school is taking some sort of super-steroid. Jordan finds out his girlfriend had a fling at camp. Lana decides to run for mayor. John Henry and Natasha try to settle in on the Kent farm. This is the Dagwood Sandwich of CW superhero shows.

Not to say that it’s bad. There’s a lot of stuff going on, but the show doesn’t really have difficulty keeping everything straight. And it’s likely that, before the season is over, everything will come together like an episode of Seinfeld. It’s just weird to have so many different plots running at the same time, moving in and out of each other as the focus switches around the various characters involved. 

The Lois plot, involving the cult, is the one that’s bothering me at the moment, mostly because once again we see Lucy Lane turning up as a punching bag. I don’t think we’ve seen Lucy before in this continuity (someone correct me if I’m wrong) but I immediately think of all the stuff that’s happened to the character in the comics over the years. She was blind for a while, she was a villain for a while, she gets dumped by Jimmy Olsen, she marries Ron Troupe and has a baby, but if I’m being perfectly honest I haven’t got the foggiest notion if that kid even still exists in the current DC Universe. And here she is, a former cult member who seems to be disavowing the sister that tried to save her. This isn’t really a knock on the show, it’s just telling a story, but I really dislike the trope of making a character the universe’s punching bag. (I know I’ve said it before, but it’s the reason I don’t enjoy most modern Spider-Man comics anymore.) I guess I’m just saying that I wish Lucy would get a break. Everybody needs one once in a while. 

Nice little surprise towards the end of episode three, though: Superman battles the “Thing in the Mines” from the title, a powerful enemy in a suit of armor. When Superman cracks the armor open, though, he finds a distorted version of his own face staring back at him. Is this their version of Bizarro? And have they found a way to do the character that actually makes him menacing? Unlike Lucy, Bizarro is a character I can take either way, either as the ultra-powerful menace OR as the misunderstood giant who’s not actually out to HURT anyone, but is dangerous just by virtue of his power. If he’s a pure bad guy this time around, I’m okay with that.

Last thing I’ll point out is the increased focus on Natasha. I like how she’s turning around. She felt kind of whiny in that first episode this season, but she’s come back and shows a lot of wit and intelligence in these. I’m willing to chalk that first appearance to growing pains as the writers tried to figure out the character. I’m already liking her much more. 

Episode four (I’m writing this as I watch and not going back to edit, just for clarity) seems to prove that I’m right. The Mine Guy looks about as Bizarro as you could get in live-action without getting goofy.

Sun., Feb. 2

Comic: DC Speechless #3

Silent but delightful.

Notes: DC Speechless was a short digital-first series by Gustavo Duarte. Each issue placed a different character in a wordless, comedic adventure of some sort. In this issue, Superman is forced to face down a couple of giant bugs attacking not only Metropolis, but also his wardrobe. 

These silent issues are always a neat challenge for storytellers. Getting everything across through pictures only is a mark of a great artist, and Duarte is really good at telling a funny story. I enjoyed this quickie for what it is – simple, a little silly, and beautifully drawn.

Mon., Feb. 3

Comic Book: Superman #123

A psychologist could have a field day with this.

Notes: It’s time for a little more Silver Age silliness. Before the first appearance of Kara Zor-El, the Supergirl we all know and love, there was a proto “Super-Girl” that first appeared in this comic. An archeologist gives Jimmy Olsen a souvenir – an ancient totem that can ostensibly grant three wishes once a century. Jimmy, having earlier overheard Superman tell Lois that he could only ever marry a “super girl” who wouldn’t be in danger from his lifestyle, decides to wish up a prospective wife for him. This, friends, is why he’s called “Superman’s pal.”

Of course, things go wrong as the girl keeps blundering into things and screwing them up, because that’s apparently what super powered women do, until she finally sacrifices herself to save Superman from some Kryptonite. The funniest part is the panel where Jimmy uses the totem to wish her away before she dies, where he chokes and says, “We’ll never forget you,” then everbody promptly proceeded to never mention her again, not even a few months later when Superman met his cousin from Krypton who looked virtually identical to the girl that his best friend conjured up or him to marry. Wild time.

Ah, but the fun wasn’t over. Jimmy got THREE wishes from the totem, remember, so this is a full-length three-parter! In the second part of the story some crooks read the Daily Planet story outlining how Jimmy used the totem to create Super-Girl, then break into his apartment to steal the magic artifact and use it to take away Superman’s powers. That’s it. Not for powers of their own. Not to, I dunno, kill Superman. Not even just for a mountain of money so that the criminals don’t have to crime anymore. The underworld of Metropolis was really short-sighted at the time, weren’t they? Anyway, Superman and Jimmy use some stunts to mimic his powers and make the crooks think the wish didn’t worry so they’ll retrieve the totem, at which point he shows up, captures them, and has Jimmy cancel the wish.

With just one wish left, Jimmy wants to make it a great one to make up for how the first two screwed up. (Jimmy, for heaven’s sake, just wish for a winning lottery ticket like a normal person.) This time he decides it’d be swell if he could send Superman back in time to meet his parents, but since he doesn’t want Superman to hear him MAKING his wish, he types it up. And apparently he’s as bad at spelling as Lois legendarily is, because he accidentally types “I wish for Superman to MATE his parents on Krypton.” Supes is whisked back in time to an era before his parents married. One might expect him to have to play Cupid here, based on how Jimmy’s typo was phrased, but Jor-El and Lara are already a couple. They just can’t get married yet because they’re accused of being part of a terrorist plot to overthrow the government and they wind up needing their son’s help to clear their names. This includes tricking a villain into accidentally creating Kryptonite, which seems kind of counter to the whole “no killing” thing, but I digress.

It’s another case of insane Silver Age storytelling – all three parts of this “novel” (which they loved to call these stories on the cover) are predicated on wild misunderstandings, incredible cases of jumping to conclusions, and just plain bafflingly stupid choices on the parts of the heroes and villains alike. I’m a teacher, and I’m constantly telling my students that it isn’t fair to use the standards of the modern day to judge the citizens of an earlier time, but stories like this make it pretty dang tempting sometimes. 

Tues., Feb. 4

Short: The Bulleteers

Notes: After a very random and, frankly, pretty harsh week for me outside of the Superman blogosphere, I decided to close things off with another of the classic Fleischer shorts. Next up is The Bulleteers from 1942. In this one, the bad guys (you can tell they’re bad guys because they’re all wearing the same cowl with a point in the front but no mask) create a bullet-shaped rocket car they intend to use to rob the Metropolis treasury.

The very faces of evil.

I do not understand the motivations of villains like these. They want money? They have invented a flying car that turns into a giant bullet. They can afford to construct a secret base in the core of a mountain, complete with turning one side of that mountain into a hidden drawbridge-style door. I don’t know exactly what the overhead on any of this stuff is, but it seems to me that patents on this kind of technology alone have to be far more than the city of Metropolis could possibly be able to cough up.

Anyway, after the Bulleteers crash into the Treasury building, which conveniently seems to keep all of the money in the city in one enormous vault, Superman gets his hand on it and rips it apart in midair, saving the day. Good for him.

Tangent: This isn’t directly Superman-related, but I think it’s something worth addressing. Today, the trailer for the new Marvel movie Fantastic Four: First Steps was released. You may not know this, but my love for the Fantastic Four is almost – not quite, but ALMOST – up there with my love of Superman. The Thing is my second-favorite character in all of comics, and I firmly believe he’s the best thing Stan Lee and Jack Kirby ever did. I saw the trailer and I enjoyed it immensely. I even made an incredibly dorky TikTok video about it, in my own inimitable style.  

The reason I’m bringing it up here, though, is because in some of the Superman groups I follow, I saw people posting the video and saying they don’t think it will be competition for James Gunn’s Superman. And I have to ask this question, guys.

Why does it NEED to be?

Seriously, where is it written that every film has to be a direct rival of every other? Or every studio? Is it because they come out in the same month, Superman on July 11th and Fantastic Four two weeks later on the 25th? Or is it just because Marvel and DC fans have some sort of deep-seated need in their very souls to somehow prove their dominance over the other?

It makes no sense to me. I am looking forward to Superman. Hell, I decided to devote this entire YEAR to how much I’m looking forward to it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to look forward to Fantastic Four. It doesn’t mean if I like one, I am not allowed to like the other. It’s said that a rising tide raises all ships, and I sincerely believe that – a great superhero movie will make people thirst for MORE great superhero movies, and hopefully the studios will learn the right lessons from one another about what MAKES a great superhero movie. Judging by the trailers from these two films, I feel as though they have.

And if there’s no other reason to ask why they have to be opposed to one another, just ask yourself this: would Superman want it that way? Would he want to be rivals? Or would he be in the front row of the cinema on July 25th, cheering for the adventures of Marvel’s first family with the rest of us.

I rather suspect that would be the case, don’t you?

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. You can join in the Kryptonian Konversation every day in the Year of Superman Facebook Group!

Year of Superman Week Four: Lois Lane Week

Today I’m going to start the first of the Theme Weeks I’m planning to do for this little project. It won’t be every week, nor will the content of those weeks be 100 percent dedicated to that theme. There’s still a lot of Superman and Lois to catch up on, after all. But on these theme weeks, I’m going to focus on a specific character, creator, or concept related to Superman. For this first week, I’m going to put the spotlight on the second-most important character in the entire Superman mythos, one of the best comic book characters ever created. Welcome, friends, to Lois Lane Week! Lois has been around since day one, appearing in Action Comics #1 along with Superman himself, and over the years has grown and evolved into one of the most complex and engaging characters in comics…when she’s written correctly. In the Golden Age, Lois was a tough-as-nails, courageous, crusading reporter. The modern incarnation has a lot of the same qualities. When written properly, Lois Lane is brilliant, fearless, and a force of nature. The only Lois I’m not crazy about, honestly, is the Silver Age Lois, a character who seemed more interested in marrying Superman or proving his secret identity (because somehow that would convince him to marry her). I’m going to try to look at all ages of Lois this week.

Wed., Jan. 22

Comics: Showcase #9

Notes: DC’s Showcase comic book, in the 50s, was essentially a try-out series. Every issue or two they would change the headliner, basically using the series to test the possibilities of a new character or new title, many of which eventually spun off into their own series. Most famously, this is the series that gave us the Barry Allen Flash and the Hal Jordan Green Lantern, but today we’re focusing on Showcase #9, the prototype for the series that would be called Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane.

If you swapped Lois with Chili and Superman with Bandit, this is any given episode of Bluey.

This Showcase issue is pretty indistinguishable from the early years of Lois’s solo title, with three stories each dedicated to Lois’s love life with Superman, while he treated her in a way that would have pretty much everybody on Reddit telling her to dump him, and frankly, I can’t blame them. The first story is “The Girl From Superman’s Past.” Lana Lang – Superboy’s old flame from Smallville – moves to Metropolis, and she and Lois immediately wind up sparring for the affection of the now-adult Superman, up to and including placing themselves in danger to see which one he was going choose to rescue. At the end of the story, of course, Superman has refrained from making a decision, probably because both of these women are behaving like lunatics.

“The New Lois Lane” is even more bonkers. When Superman learns that a group of crooks are on the verge of unveiling his secret identity, he creates a new alter-ego, “Allen Todd,” and counts on Lois’s trademark snooping to reveal Mr. Todd as being the real Superman. Unfortunately for him, Lois recently used a Weight and Fortune Telling Machine (no, really) that told her to change her strategy to help get the man she loves – so instead of trying to reveal his secret, she starts going behind his back to “help” him HIDE it. I tell you, some of these Silver Age Lois Lane stories are positively Shakespearean, in that they’re predicated on absurd coincidences and ridiculous misunderstandings that could easily be cleared up if either of the people involved were capable of having a simple adult conversation, for God’s sake.

Finally, there’s “Mrs. Superman,” in which Lois gets a head injury and has a coma dream about her fondest wish: marrying Superman. To get her out of it, Superman sits by her bedside and feeds her “false” information to try to snap her out of the fantasy – you know, horrible things like Superman’s real identity being Clark Kent, or that he’s cheating on her with a woman named Lulu, because every woman in Metropolis is legally required to have a name beginning with the letter “L.” I guess in this one Superman is at least trying to help Lois. Technically.

The idea, I suppose, was to make a comic book that fit in with the popular romance comics of the time, although these stories were even sillier and more convoluted than a lot of those. I guess it was popular, though, as this series lasted for 16 years and 137 issues before being merged with the Jimmy Olsen title as Superman Family. But sitting from where I am, where my Loises are all strong, independent, and smart as a whip, it’s bonkers to me that this incarnation of the character lasted as long as she did. 

Articles: “A Fond Remembrance of Mort Weisinger By His Son” and “The Superman Mythos: Roots of the Superman Confluence,” both by Eddy Zeno, from The Krypton Companion

Thur., Jan. 23

Comics: DC Horror Presents… #3 (Cameo), Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane #21, Action Comics #662, Superman Vol. 2 #53

Notes: Returning to the shockingly meager offerings on DC Universe Infinite for this series, I decided to check in on Lois Lane #21, featuring a pretty well-known cover with Lois and Lana somehow superpowered and slugging it out for Superman’s affections, but I don’t think I’ve ever read this one before. The first two stories in this issue, though, are a two-parter unrelated to the cover. In “Dolls of Doom” and “Trapped in Kandor,” Lois is tricked into posing for a Lois Lane doll by a gang of criminals planning to use her against Superman. This somehow winds up with her sent to the bottled city of Kandor where she falls in love with a Kandorian who is – shockingly – a dead ringer for Superman.

I’m sorry to not have a better synopsis for this story, but I refuse to take total blame for it, because the DC Universe app has the PAGES IN THE WRONG ORDER. The middle of chapter two appears in chapter one and vice-versa, and while it is theoretically possible to read the pages in the correct order by flipping back and forth in the app, by the time I realized what the problem was I was so angry about it that I stopped trying. Hey, DC Universe Infinite: FIX THIS CRAP. 

After all, with the pages scrambled, some people may find this confusing.

The last story is the one I was really interested in anyway. “The Battle Between Super-Lois and Super-Lana” features Superman’s two favorite girls, now rival reporters, who stumble upon a magic lake that conveniently gives super powers to anyone who bathes in it. Realizing they now have all of Superman’s powers, they decide that this is the perfect time to make him choose between them by doing things like cooking giant food, finding and wearing priceless jewelry that has been lost to antiquity, and carving their own faces into mountainsides. The story ends, predictably, with the magic water wearing off and Superman once again getting out of having to make up his mind. The most important part of the legacy of this issue is that the “magic water” came back into play decades later in Alan Moore’s “Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?” (which of course you can be certain I’ll read before this Year of Superman is over.) 

It’s unfathomable to me how the book lasted this long with stories that make the title character look like an obsessed stalker and make Superman look like an indecisive jackass. I think I need an palate cleanser, so I decide to read the issues I skipped between “Krisis of the Krimson Kryptonite” and “Time and Time Again” – the story of how Clark Kent finally revealed his secret identity to Lois Lane.

The face of “WHAT THE ACTUAL F@#??”

It happened in Action Comics #662, and before I get into the story, can we talk about the cover for a minute? This is a classic by Kerry Gammill and Brett Breeding, and it’s wild to me that this hasn’t made the echelon of often-homaged covers like Action Comics #1, Superman #1, or even Superman Vol. 2 #75 (the Death of Superman issue). The angle, from Clark’s point-of-view, is perfect, and the look of total amazement on Lois’s face just kills me every time I look at it. I love this cover.

As for the story itself, the issue begins with Lois and Clark having a comics code-approved romantic evening at home, with Clark about to tell Lois the big secret just as they’re interrupted by the Silver Banshee. Her magic told her that Superman was in that apartment, but all she finds there is this tall drink of water in a pair of glasses, so she dashes out. Clark goes after her, leaving Lois somewhat confused. The middle part of the issue is pretty standard for the time period – Superman fighting the Banshee (who, I should mention, has one of the coolest designs for any Superman villain ever) while in a subplot, a LexCorp employee digs into the mystery of the company CEO’s death and his potential heir. The Lois story doesn’t come back until the last couple of pages, where Clark gives the big reveal on a full-page splash panel at the very end of the issue, leading into Superman Vol. 2 #53. 

The first few pages of this issue are devoted to the Lois and Clark story, as she tells him that she thinks – on some level – she knew his secret for a long time, but had always dismissed it, then she (understandably) asks for a little time to process this major revelation. The rest of the issue deals with Superman being asked to help escort a political prisoner being brought from the Middle East back to the ol’ U.S. of A. It’s a perfectly fine issue, but it definitely illustrates the way the Superman comics were written in the 90s. Each issue had an A-plot (which may or may not continue next week) and several ongoing B-plots that were often specific to the individual titles and writers. Anything dealing with the Clark Kent side of his life was usually relegated to the B-plots, even something as monumental as this. If this story were being told today, the revelation would have been its own one-shot issue with a half-dozen miniseries spin-offs dealing with the fallout. In these two issues, it’s less than ten pages total.

All that said, I like how they dealt with Lois here. Rather than make her look or feel foolish for not having known Clark’s secret, she confesses to having had a gut feeling. In the Silver Age, that “gut feeling” was half of her reason for existence. This is a much smarter, more mature Lois Lane, and it’s a much better interpretation of the character. 

Fri., Jan. 24

TV Episode: Superman: The Animated Series, Season 2, Episode 7, “Target”

Notes: Except for Margot Kidder, I think Dana Delaney may just be my favorite Lois Lane. Her wit and sarcasm feels so completely perfect for the character – I love the way she knows she’s the smartest one in the room, but doesn’t lord it over anybody unless they’re asking for it. It’s like if Bugs Bunny were a reporter. One of the things I particularly liked about Superman: The Animated Series is that they wrote Lois the way she SHOULD have been written in an era before she and Clark were allowed to be together. This is a Lois who, like the Lois of the Golden Age, finds Superman more fascinating than Clark. However, she doesn’t spend all her time mooning over him or trying to crack the secret of his identity. She’s someone with a thirst for truth and, along with that, a hefty appreciation of justice.

And if we’re being totally honest, there’s just something about a gal with purple eyes.

In this episode, Lois is sent a death threat just seconds before receiving a prestigious journalism award. After a quick rescue by Superman (as per usual) she embarks upon a quest to find out who’s gunning for her, with more and deadlier attempts following her as she seeks out the truth. Although both Clark and Superman appear and factor heavily into the plot, we never actually see the transition from one to the other, aiding the conceit that this is an episode told from Lois’s perspective. It’s a great episode for showing how smart and, ultimately, dangerous she can be to the wrong people (the “corrupt” that she mentions in her acceptance speech), and I like the fact that she refuses sensible precautions like staying under house arrest when there are super criminals gunning for her. It’s the kind of reckless that is 100 percent indicative of Lois Lane. And it’s great that she cracks the mystery on her own, without Superman’s help or without even hearing the clue that tells him where to find her at the end. If I have any complaint, though, it’s that she doesn’t show herself quite as capable as I’d like. Every deathtrap is escaped, narrowly, by Superman’s interference. Sure, it’s part of the usual schtick for these two, but it would have been nice if just ONCE she managed to get herself out of trouble by herself. 

Comics: Superman Adventures #12, Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #35

This issue: Lois visits downtown Detroit!

Notes: Like the episodes of the cartoon, Superman Adventures #12 demonstrates ably who Lois Lane should be. Superman has been infected with a Kryptonian virus, and Lois and Professor Emil Hamilton are in the midst of a war zone trying to get an essential ingredient for an antidote. Once the cure for the man of steel is synthesized, it’s up to Lois to transport it back to Metropolis through battlefields, across oceans, and in the midst of an awful lot of criminal types who would be perfectly happy if the cure never makes it to its destination. The story, written by Scott McCloud, perfectly showcases the cartoon’s version of Lois. We see how strong and gutsy she is, every step of the way. The best thing is that she’s not doing it because she’s in LOVE with Superman, she’s doing it because the world NEEDS Superman. A+ Lois Laning in this issue, guys. 

Sat. Jan. 25

Answering the question, “What if we write Lois Lane, but for the Pretty Little Liars demographic?”

Novel: Fallout (2015) by Gwenda Bond

Notes: This is part of a larger push to put the DC characters into young adult novels, a practice that I think is a good idea. Get ‘em while they’re young, get ‘em reading, get ‘em loving the characters. In this version, Lois is a teenager in the modern day – or at least in the modern day of 2015, when this was published, which cannot possibly be 10 years ago, so this is just more proof that math is a liar. Young Lois and her family have recently moved to Metropolis, the latest in a long line of homes as befits her army brat lifestyle, but the Lanes are hoping to put down roots this time. At a new school, Lois struggles making friends until she’s recruited for a special initiative of the Daily Planet to bring in high school students with an interest in journalism. As Lois tries to acclimate to her new passion, she finds that a group of bullies at the school may be more than they seem, and the principal may be part of a larger conspiracy. 

This book, part of a trilogy by Gwenda Bond, gives me serious Nancy Drew vibes. This is not a criticism, mind you, I think that’s actually quite appropriate for a young Lois Lane. Although the story is structured to lead her towards her destiny as the world’s greatest reporter, for most of the plot she’s doing a detective’s job, trying to crack a mystery with the help of a few sometimes reluctant friends. In fact, the only one who’s totally on her side from the beginning is her online friend, who goes by the handle “SmallvilleGuy” and is shockingly hesitant to cough up details about himself. 

I liked this book a lot more than I expected to, if I’m being honest. I’ve read a lot of novels based on comic book characters and too many of them are sort of bland, lifeless retellings of a story that would be better served as a comic book. But Gwenda Bond has a fine voice for Lois, and the way she builds up the sometimes antagonistic nature of her relationship with her father works well. Bond’s Sam Lane hits all of the right beats for that character – he’s tough, he’s strict, and he wants things to be done his way. At the same time, though, he’s not an ogre. He’s a father who wants what’s best for his children, and the conflict stems from the fact that what he thinks is best is not necessarily what Lois wants, not because he’s evil. 

The interactions with “SmallvilleGuy” are fun, but maybe a little too much like the writer is winking at the camera. I don’t mind a little bit of that, but when you spin this whole mystery around a question that the audience already knows the answer to, it doesn’t necessarily hit right. It’s not like it makes Lois look stupid or anything (just because SmallvilleGuy’s in-game avatar is an alien is no reason Lois should suspect that he’s the real thing), but you do start to twirl your finger a little and say, “Okay, let’s get on with it.”

All that said, I did like this book. I did like this Lois. And while I don’t know if I’ll get around to them right away, I’m adding the other two books in this trilogy (Double Down and Triple Threat) to my massive to-be-read list. That’s not a promise that I’ll ever get to them, if I’m being 100 percent honest, but they’re definitely on the radar. 

Comics: Superman Vol. 6 #22, Justice League Unlimited Vol. 2 #3

I hate every villain has the same tailor.

Notes: The current run of the main Superman comic has been really good. Written by Joshua Williamson with art by Dan Mora – who, in case I haven’t mentioned it recently, is far and away the best Superman artist of the modern era – our heroes find themselves in a very precarious position. Doomsday, the creature who killed Superman once, is the target of an alien invading force, forcing Superman to work with the instrument of his own destruction. He’s not alone, though – Lois is currently Superwoman. I have to say “currently” because you know that, sooner or later, the status quo will reassert itself, but giving her Kryptonian powers (however temporary) is making for an interesting twist to the dynamic. The entire Superman family has sort of become a team, defending Metropolis together, and Super-Lois has essentially been made co-leader along with her husband. This isn’t the first time that Lois has gotten powers, of course, but this is a way of portraying that relationship that I’m pretty sure we’ve never seen before. With this being my “Year of Superman,” with the movie coming out in July, and with DC giving the Man of Steel a much bigger push than they have in recent years, I couldn’t be happier that this monthly comic is really good right now. 

Sun., Jan. 26

The After School Special of Lois Lore.

Comic Books: Lois Lane #1-2

Notes: The early 80s were a weird time for Lois Lane in the comics. After all those decades of chasing after him, she “broke up” with Superman, feeling as though the relationship wasn’t going anywhere (go figure). What’s more, Clark started dating Lana Lang, which was admittedly a nice change of pace, as she was now interested in Clark Kent rather than Superboy/man, and it changed things up for a while. But the problem was, then, what do you do with Lois?

The answer, it seems, is this miniseries: two double-sized issues of two chapters each which were clearly originally intended to be a four-issue miniseries, but they condensed it for some reason. Regardless, in this refreshingly Superman-free story, Lois is covering a police investigation that turns up the body of a child, a horrifying moment that sends her deep into the investigation of child abduction and trafficking. I would have been about nine years old when this miniseries was published, so I can tell you that the whole “stranger danger” scare was a big thing at the time, and this miniseries feels very much like an attempt to connect to the After School Special audience by telling a story with an important message. Not that the message isn’t important, of course – sadly, it’s possibly even more relevant today than it was almost 40 years ago. But the way they tell the story is a bit heavy-handed, as many of these “Very Special Episodes” tend to be. 

On the other hand, it’s good to see a story where Lois is being Lois – doing reporter work, digging into a story and trying to uncover the truth. The sad thing is that Lois comes off as awfully antagonistic throughout the story: she clashes with her editor, she clashes with her sister Lucy…she clashes with everybody. And there’s a point where it feels less like frustration about her serious story not being taken seriously and a bit more like Lois has some sort of chip on her shoulder. (It may have helped if the story at any point recapped just why she and Lucy were at each other’s throats at this period.) As it is, though, we get none of that. We learn nothing about why Lois is behaving the way she is, save for general sensitivity over the subject matter. It’s a pretty dark topic , but it’s hard to conceive of a seasoned reporter like Lois Lane suddenly lashing out at everybody around her over something like this. Half the characters assume she’s upset over her breakup with Superman, and while that too would be completely out of character for her, at least it would be an explanation. 

We DO get a shocking revelation about Lana Lang…a revelation that, to the best of my knowledge, was never referenced again, and certainly has been wiped out in the half dozen or so continuity reboots since then. And in the end, the story doesn’t really have a resolution. We just run out of threads to follow. That’s how stuff like this happens in reality, sadly. But this isn’t reality, it’s fiction, and as much as I enjoy seeing a spotlight on Lois Lane, this spotlight is given to a story that forever will seem incomplete. 

Mon., Jan. 27

Comics: Superman Vol. 2 #59, Superman Vol. 2 #168, Detective Comics #756, Superman: Lois Lane #1

Enjoy it now, kids. Once Jon is born, even this won’t be far enough to get some peace and quiet.

Notes: So after getting engaged, finding out her fiancé was really Superman, losing him to time-travel shenanigans, and dealing with a dozen other problems that cropped up in the course of the four Superman comics of the era, in this issue Lois FINALLY has a chance to stop and talk to Clark about what it would mean for the two of them to be married. I’ve always enjoyed this issue.

The first half is a series of events where Lois keeps getting left behind as Clark rushes off to deal with one emergency or another – a sunken submarine, a homeless man who’s gotten his hands on a super-villain’s discarded weapons stash…you know, typical stuff. But in the second half, Clark bundles Lois up and takes her off to the top of Mt. Fuji, one place where he doubts that an emergency will call him away, for a conversation. The scene itself only takes a couple of pages, but it’s powerful. Lois asks why Clark, with all his power, would choose to be Superman, and he gives the most Superman answer imaginable: “Because no one else can.” They talk about their relationship and what they mean to one another, and by the time they return to Metropolis, it feels like a hurdle has been passed. After this, the relationship in the comics was usually rock-solid (except for that brief period where they broke up, but which eventually led directly into their wedding, and for the New 52 reboot, but we can dismiss that for timey-wimey reasons). I hate when writers throw a breakup/makeup dynamic onto their characters just because they can’t think of a way to tell compelling stories about a couple without threatening their relationship (lookin’ at you, Spider-Man writers). I’m really glad that this issue ended that era for Lois and Clark in a satisfying way. 

Also of note: this issue is kind of an epilogue to the Time and Time Again storyline from last week as well. One of the Linear Men, Liri Lee, feels responsible for the months that Superman was lost in time, so she tries to make it up to him by pausing time for Lois and Clark (without their knowledge) and allowing them to discuss their relationship uninterrupted. It’s a nice little conceit and although I don’t think it was strictly necessary, it served the purpose of showing that the original Linear Man did not act alone (something that would become significant later) and perhaps gave a little more plausibility to the notion that Superman could go that long without picking up on a disaster somewhere that needed his attention. 

Geez, how many Robins does that guy NEED?

Next up is a dandy two-parter from Superman Vol. 2 #168 and Detective Comics #756. This story comes from the era in which Lex Luthor had been elected President of the United States, and things kick off when Lois learns from her father (Lex’s secretary of state) that he’s somehow regained possession of the Kryptonite ring we last mentioned back in the Dark Knight Over Metropolis storyline. Superman, being Superman, is reluctant to break into the White House to get the ring, so Lois decides to enlist the help of somebody somewhat less reluctant: Batman.

This is a great story. I love seeing Lois being proactive and using her husband’s ties to the superhero community to right a wrong. I also love how Superman winds up in conflict with his wife and best friend in a way that doesn’t seem convoluted or out of character. Of course Superman would refuse to break into the White House, no matter who’s sitting in that chair or what the provocation, and of course Lois and Bruce wouldn’t give a damn about all that when it comes to getting that sort of a weapon out of Lex Luthor’s hands. It’s a dandy little character play from writers Jeph Loeb and Greg Rucka (respectively) and it’s only slightly undermined by the ending. I don’t mind at all that Clark and Bruce hatched a scheme of their own, but I’m admittedly a tad disappointed that they didn’t let Lois in on it. That said, it’s a fine story that shows, as the best stories do, just how proactive Lois Lane can be. 

Just as grounded in reality as her ’86 miniseries.

I’ll wrap up today with Superman: Lois Lane, a one-shot from the New 52 era. I won’t get into the pros and cons of that time period at the moment – odds are at some point later this year I’ll get into it a little bit – but I will say one of my least favorite things about that period was the way DC erased pretty much every superhero marriage and returned to the old status quo of Lois not knowing Clark’s identity and, for most of the run, not having any sort of relationship with him either. In fact, Superman only makes a cameo in this issue, and Clark isn’t mentioned at all.

That said, if you just change the costume Superman wears in his cameo, this story could very easily be dropped into pretty much any continuity or any time period for Superman. It’s a self-contained story about Lois, starting with her sister Lucy showing up on her doorstep, injured, begging for help. Lucy’s roommate, Amanda, has been transformed into some sort of monster by a strange street drug, and she pleads with Lois to rescue her. Like a lot of the best Lois stories, this one showcases her detective skills, hunting down the origin of the drug that’s terrorizing Amanda and going to whatever lengths it takes to save her. It’s not a bad story, although it does showcase just how much Lucy Lane has become something of a punching bag over the years. That poor girl never seems to catch a break. 

Tues., Jan. 28

AKA Superman versus the Three Stooges

Movie: Superman II

Notes: The first Superman film, with Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder, remains one of my favorite movies ever made, and by far my favorite superhero film. But ever since the release of the “Donner Cut” in 2006 I’ve harbored a belief that, had the film been completed as intended, Superman II would have surpassed it.

Not to say that the Superman II we have isn’t good. Quite to the contrary, it’s a great movie. Superman facing off against a trio of Kryptonian villains, Lex Luthor bouncing from enemy to ally to, at the end, a desperate attempt at becoming a frenemy before Superman deposits him with the police. And most importantly this week, this is the movie where I feel like Margot Kidder’s Lois Lane gets her best moments. In this film, Lois discovers the truth, that Clark Kent is Superman. They share a tender love story in which he decides to give up his powers, which his mother Lara (or rather, her approximation in a Kryptonian data crystal) tells him is the only way he can ever be with a human woman. But when Zod and company attack Earth, seeking the son of Jor-El, he has to find a way to restore himself and save the world. It’s a great superhero movie mixed up with a beautifully tragic love story. But there are two things about it I’ve never cared for. One is the end, where Superman erases Lois’s memory with a…well…a super-kiss. It’s a dumb power, one that we’ve never seen show up anywhere else except for a short gag in Scott Kurtz’s PVP comic strip, but the power itself isn’t the problem. It feels awfully cruel of Clark to do that to Lois, not unlike the stupid kinds of things that we saw from Superman throughout the Silver Age. Even if you couch it in the belief that Lois will be happier without knowing the truth, I don’t care for that.

The other problem is something that was much better in the Donner cut: the way that Lois discovers Clark’s secret. In the film, as completed, Lois hurls herself from Niagara Falls, expecting Superman to save her and finally prove her suspicion that he and Clark are one and the same. Clark manages to pull her out without divulging his identity, but only minutes later, he pointlessly trips and falls into a fireplace, allowing her to see that he isn’t harmed. It’s awful. Clark is way too experienced – not to mention way too smart – to give away the world’s greatest secret that way.

The Donner cut is SO. MUCH. BETTER. If you’ve never seen it, you can watch the pertinent scene on YouTube, and I urge you to do so if you haven’t. (I believe that the YouTube version was actually cobbled together from screen tests and was not intended for use in the final film, but that doesn’t matter.) If you don’t feel like watching it, allow me to explain what makes it so great.

As in the finished movie, Lois has failed in an attempt at proving Clark is Superman, and is discussing her suspicions with him. Suddenly, she pulls a gun. He goes into his usual blubbering Clark routine, trying to talk her out of doing something rash, but to his horror, she pulls the trigger. He starts for a moment, but then, realizing there’s no way out of this one, he stands up, straight as a board, glaring at her. He takes off his glasses, activating that Clark-to-Superman transformation that Christopher Reeve could pull off like nobody else, and says, “You realize, of course, if you’d been wrong Clark Kent would have been killed.”  Lois raises the gun and says, “Well, they’re blank.” Clark’s head falls to his chest, realizing just how deftly he’s been outsmarted.

A face that says, “God help me, I love this infuriating woman so, so much.”

No Lois Lane has ever Lois Laned as hard as Margot Kidder Lois Laned in this scene. 

Comics: Superwoman Special #1, DC Comics Presents #69, Supergirl Vol. 2 #21, Justice League of America #15, New Adventures of Superboy #31

She was always a woman of steel. She just has the jammies now.

Notes: I decided to close out “Lois Week” with a re-reading of Superwoman Special #1, which came out just over a month ago and is part of the current ongoing storyline in the Superman comics. A few months back, Lois suddenly started showing up in a Superwoman costume, displaying the same powers as her super-hubby and fighting alongside him, with no indication as to how this happened. This special finally gives us the skinny as Lois tells the other two super-women in Metropolis, Lana Lang and Kara, how she got her powers. In last fall’s Absolute Power crossover, Amanda Waller set out to steal the powers from the world’s heroes (and villains, but mostly the heroes). Waller was, of course, defeated, but when the powers were restored not everything went as planned. Some powers were altered and some went to the wrong people, including Lois suddenly having Kryptonian powers. An examination from Mr. Terrific and the Atom concludes that Lois does, indeed, have Kryptonian powers, but there seems to be a limit – every time she uses them, she is in danger of burning them out. Being Lois, she isn’t content to sit on the sidelines when people are in danger, hence the new Superwoman. The other thing the reader learns in this issue that the heroes don’t is where, exactly, her powers came from. She has inadvertently stolen the powers from one of Superman’s greatest enemies, General Zod, and it seems unlikely that he’s going to be happy when he finds out where his powers have gone.

This special is kind of a fill-in-the-blanks moment, revealing the backstory in the currently ongoing storyline, but there are a few moments I really like. The coffee klatch with Lois, Supergirl, and Lana Lang (who has also been a Superwoman for a few years now, if you haven’t kept up) works really well to help establish the relationship between these three women, arguably the most important ones in Clark’s life, except of course for Martha. Second, I love the scene where Lois reveals to Clark that she’s gained powers. There’s no moment of shock or disbelief – Clark has seen enough weird stuff that it doesn’t even phase him. They just decide to have a nice, romantic flight together before it’s time to get to the bottom of it all.

The last thing I really like is the one thing that I think may possibly be a permanent, or at least long-term change. Lois isn’t going to keep Zod’s powers forever, I don’t think anybody even remotely familiar with comic books thinks that’s going to happen. But her OTHER new job that is showcased in this issue MAY last for a good while. Perry White, in recent issues, stepped down as editor-in-chief of the Daily Planet to run for mayor of Metropolis, leaving Lois in charge. Once he won the election, her temporary position became less temporary. It’s actually been really fun to see Lois as the boss, particularly those moments where her journalistic integrity clashes with her knowledge as Superman’s wife. (There was a story in one of the other titles recently where she took Clark off of any Superman-related stories as they were a conflict of interest, even if the two of them are the only ones who know it.) I really love having Lois in charge, and as great a character as Perry White is, this new dynamic is one that I think has a lot of storytelling mileage in it, and I hope they don’t revert to status quo on this one any time soon. 

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. You can join in the Kryptonian Konversation every day in the Year of Superman Facebook Group!

Geek Punditry #107: Big Cons, Small Rewards

Last weekend was one of the biggest nerd events that hits my neck of the woods every year: Fan Expo New Orleans. This is the single biggest media convention to come to southern Louisiana annually. I’ve gone almost every year, going back to its early days before Fan Expo took over, all the years it was Wizard World New Orleans, and even before that. I have attended with friends, with family, with my wife and son, and I’ve occasionally attended on my own. I’ve been there as a podcaster, I’ve been there as a panelist, and I’ve been there as just a fan. If I thought I could make back the booth fee by selling books, I would like to attend as a professional, but I don’t feel I’m quite there yet. And I fully intend to go to this show every time it comes to town for as long as the universe allows me to make it there.

How could I deny the world this face?

But at the risk of sounding like a grumpy old man, it’s not really the same as it used to be.

I know, this is always the refrain of people as they get older. “It’s not as good as it was, the stuff they did when I was young was better, your music is too loud, what’s a SnapChat?” It’s very much a cliche. But just because something is a cliche doesn’t mean that there isn’t an element of truth to it. Before it was Fan Expo it was Wizard World, and before that it was a relatively small comic book convention started by a local comic shop owner that slowly built up over a few years. That was in my podcasting days and I attended every one. In the last one, I even got to host a few panels and do an interview with artist Francis Manapul, which was a lot of fun. Then, after this little show started rolling, Wizard snatched it up and made it part of its ever-growing assortment of conventions, like Thanos collecting Infinity Stones. So when I say “it used to be about the comics,” I can say that with authority. 

Over the years I’ve watched as the larger shows get more and more consumed by other media. It started with genre movies and television shows, which makes perfect sense. If you make a venn diagram of comic book readers and fans of things like Star Trek and Star Wars, it may not be a perfect overlap, but those circles will likely have very little hanging over the edges. As time went on, though, other things began to creep in. Dr. Who makes a lot of sense. And who doesn’t love things like Back to the Future? Game of Thrones started kind of niche, but it quickly went mainstream. Then you had things like Outlander, which is technically a fantasy show but traditionally serves a somewhat different demographic than most of the other fandoms that were being serviced. The same went for Twilight, but that never stopped actors from those films from appearing. And now, increasingly, we’re seeing the stars of video games like Five Nights at Freddy’s or the voice actors for popular anime when they’re translated into English. 

I’m almost certain the only person in this graphic who ever actually worked on a comic book is Kevin Smith. But he hasn’t finished yet.

I need to be clear about this: I do not object to any of these things being added to things like Fan Expo. I’m no gatekeeper. I have always had the mindset of the more the merrier. My sister has attended before, but this year she brought her husband and two kids with her for the first time, and they had a blast. My niece, who’s a huge FNAF fan, made her own costume and got to meet some of her favorite voice actors. My brother-and-law and nephew got to dress up like Ghostbusters and get their pictures taken with movie-quality proton packs. I love that they had so much fun, because I want there to be something for everybody. The problem is that all of this stuff seems to be coming at the EXPENSE of the things that brought me to shows like this in the first place, rather than being there in ADDITION to them.

In the early days, the comic book vendors were a vast swath of the shopping section at this show, but this year I could count the number of booths selling actual comic books on one hand. There’s plenty of people selling toys, of course. Prints. Funko pops. Stickers of dubious legitimacy, from a copyright standpoint. Swords. 3-D printed tchotchkes. Candy. Candles. Soap. And one booth where you could pay $40 to hold a snake, cash only of course. But if you’re there to try to fill in those last three issues of Green Lantern you need to complete your run…well, places like this USED to be where you would want to go, but this year you were kind of out of luck.

Still couldn’t pass up the Fudge of Steel, though.

Once there were publishers at these shows. Not often the big ones – Marvel and DC, I don’t think, ever had any official booth in New Orleans – but at least smaller publishers would make the journey. I don’t think I saw a single publisher booth this year. There were still a good number of creators in artist’s alley, but even there, I think the majority of them were local writers and artists, by which I mean friends of mine. I love seeing them, but I wish that there were other people too. 

I don’t want to give the impression that it was a total wasteland, mind you. The legendary Don Rosa was there, making his first appearance in New Orleans in several years, and it was fantastic to talk to him. And plenty of self-publishers were in attendance trying to draw eyes to their books and comics. But I know from experience how tough it can be to snare a potential reader’s eye wandering a convention floor, and for these kinds of comic creators it’s just going to get harder, because as there is less and less comic book content at these shows, there will be less and less reason for their potential audience to attend.

This was pretty darn sweet, though.

What, then, is the solution? Obviously the convention organizers are trying to draw in the guests that will get the most attendees, because that’s how they make their money. But I feel like more of an effort needs to be made to appeal to the comic vendors and creators that helped build these things in the first place. It’s kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy – they attract fewer comic vendors because fewer comic fans are attending because there are fewer vendors because there are fewer fans. Somebody’s gotta figure out a way to break that cycle.

Oddly enough, in recent years, I’ve found that the smaller the show, the better it is for people like me, people who are there for the comics. Last year, for instance, I went to one of the St. Tammany Collector’s Conventions that are held in Mandeville two or three times a year. They’ve been doing it for a few years now, but for one reason or another I hadn’t been able to attend until last spring, and I was amazed by how great a show it was. The venue was much smaller than Fan Expo, but it was packed to the edges with stuff. There were, of course, the vendors that sold toys and knick knacks, but there were comic books too – so many comic book vendors. I could have spent days digging through all the back issue bins there, and I walked away having spent more money and feeling more satisfied than I have in the last two or three Fan Expos. Not only that, but those local writers and artists, those friends of mine I saw last weekend at Fan Expo? Most of them were there too, along with some media guests, including folks like Five Nights at Freddy’s actors and others. They may not be as big as Fan Expo, of course – they’re never gonna get Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd – but they can get Sgt. Slaughter, and that ain’t nothin’. 

And that’s just at that one show. There are plenty of smaller shows across the state all year long. I don’t get to go to all of them, of course. My attendance depends on a lot of things, not the least of which is my wife’s work schedule (because Eddie is a little too wild to take him to something like this on my own), but I know that there are smaller shows coming up in Slidell, Gonzales, Morgan City, and plenty of other places within driving distance. They’re all on my radar, and they’re all going on my calendar. 

I know this might sound weird, especially if you remember the column I wrote last summer about how badly I want to attend San Diego Comic-Con some day, but these smaller shows are much more of a haven for people like me than the big shows are. That’s not to say I’m abandoning the big shows. I still like them. I still have fun. I love getting to see the costumes and talking on the panels and hanging out with some of the finest geeks that have ever graced Southern Louisiana. But the smaller shows are better at scratching the itch that drew me to conventions in the first place. I hope Fan Expo and any other convention organizers out there realize this. I hope they understand that bringing in new fans doesn’t have to mean excluding the old ones. And I hope they figure it out before there’s nothing left for the people who brought them to the dance to begin with.

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. He hopes to see you at one of those smaller shows before the year is out.

Year of Superman Week Two: Fleischer and Fan Expo

It’s the second week of my year-long adventure in reading, watching, and generally enjoying all things Superman. This week, I take a look at the earliest Fleischer cartoons, I watch more of Superman and Lois, and I take my family to Fan Expo New Orleans!

Wed., Jan. 8

Comics: Krisis of the Krimson Kryptonite, story found in Superman Vol. 2, #49, Adventures of Superman #472, Starman #28, Action Comics #659, & Superman Vol. 2 #50; Black Lightning Vol. 4 #2 (Guest-appearance by Natasha Irons, aka Steel), Supergirl Vol. 2 #20 (Guest-appearance by Superman)

When you spell “red” with a K.

Notes: I’ve got to be careful with some of these comics. My goal, in this “Year of Superman,” is to spend a little time with ALL eras of the Man of Steel, but every time I go back and look at one of the comics from my formative years, I feel the urge to just go on reading them. I could very easily make this “my year of reading Superman comics from the 90s” if I didn’t show a little restraint and restrict myself to the high points. All that said, I couldn’t possibly do this without reading Krisis of the Krimson Kryptonite. As much as the first Christopher Reeve movie made me a fan of the character himself, this is the story that made me a fan of Superman COMICS.

I was relatively new into comics at the time, and if there was one character I followed more than others, at this point, it was Spider-Man. But then something happened which was pretty rare at the time – Superman turned up on the news. After over 50 years, they said, he was going to ask Lois Lane to marry him. I was intrigued and I sought out the five parts of this story to see what was going on. And then I got the next Adventures of Superman the week after. And then I came back for the next week’s Action Comics. And I haven’t missed an issue of any of the regular Superman comic books ever since. It’s a pretty darn impressive streak, if I do say so myself. I also eventually hunted down almost all of the previous comics since the reboot of the character in 1986, so when I say that this era is MY Superman, I mean that as literally as possible for anybody who didn’t actually create the books themselves.

What’s interesting is that the element of this story that got me – and presumably a lot of other people – to buy it is almost a throwaway moment. The bulk of the story involves the Red Kryptonite (only called “Krimson” on the covers) given to Lex Luthor by Superman’s old sparring partner, Mr. Mxyzptlk. Mxy is busy in another dimension – delightfully implied to be harassing the Fantastic Four as the Impossible Man – and he’s going to miss his scheduled tete a tete with Superman. Instead, he gives Luthor the Red Kryptonite – the first instance of such an element in the post-Crisis continuity, and promises it will make Luthor “Superman’s equal.” Instead of giving Luthor powers, though, the rock takes the power AWAY from Superman.

Most of the five issues – four issues of the Superman comics and a crossover with Starman, also written by Action Comics scribe Roger Stern – involve Superman either trying to figure out where his powers went, trying to get them back, or trying to compensate for their loss with things like a suit of powered armor. It’s a nice change of pace, watching a story where Clark has to rely on his brains, resources, and friends rather than the raw power of the Man of Steel. It also nicely showcases the supporting cast Superman had built up around him at the time. Besides the usual merry band at the Daily Planet, we also get to see him with the likes of Guardian, Gangbuster, and one of my favorite side-characters, Professor Emil Hamilton. They’re Superman’s supporting cast as much as the Planet staff is Clark’s, and they serve a similar function in the story. 

As for the engagement – it crops up in the last chapter, when Martha Kent calls Clark and asks if he’s bothered to unpack his suitcase since his last trip to Kansas, and there he finds the Kent family engagement ring. He shows it to Lois during a quick lunch at the cafe in the Planet building and proposes with all the romance of saying, “So, you wanna?” Then they get interrupted, he gets his powers back, and on the last page of the issue she accepts. It’s hardly the most memorable proposal in the world, but oddly enough, it feels somewhat appropriate for this version of the characters. These are people who never have time to slow down or stop, whether they’re acting as reporters or as superheroes, and even something as monumental as a marriage proposal has that same kind of mood and cadence. This was the first story where I really saw the character potential in Lois and Clark, beyond just the cookie cutter stereotypes of the Silver Age, and it’s what I’ve enjoyed about them ever since. 

TV Episodes: Superman and Lois, Season One, Episode 8, “Holding the Wrench”; Episode 9, “Loyal Subjekts.”

Thur., Jan. 9

Comics: Infinity, Inc. #2 (Power Girl-team member), Superman #5, New Adventures of Superboy #30

Next time, on Extreme Makeover Kryptonian Home Edition…

Notes: (On Superman #5) It’s a hoot to go back and read these early adventures of Superman. In the lead story of this comic, from 1940, Superman is out to cleanse Metropolis of the scourge of…drumroll please…slot machines. In this modern age, when every issue is about stopping a time-travelling alien telepathic computer intelligence from taking over the multiverse and plunging the entirety of humanity into perpetual mind-control and slavery, there’s something darn quaint about a comic where the stakes are “a racketeer is tricking kids into dropping pennies into this rigged game.” It couldn’t maintain an extended run, of course, but I think it would be fun to see a modern writer do a one-off story where Superman gets caught up in trying to solve some problem on a similar level…like an unscrupulous Girl Scout leader hoarding all the good streetcorners to sell Thin Mints or something. 

It’s also interesting to note that, while much has been made of the powers Superman GAINED over the years – flight, X-ray vision, freezing breath, and so forth – there are other powers that sort of vanished after a while. In one of the stories in this issue, Superman impersonates somebody by “contorting his features” until he looks like the man – which evidently also includes whitening his hair, getting a receding hairline, and growing a mustache. Thank goodness they eventually moved away from powers like this one in favor of more sensible abilities, such as “Rebuilding the Great Wall of China Vision.”

Fri., Jan. 10

Shorts: “The Mad Scientist” (aka “Superman”) & “The Mechanical Monsters,” Fleischer Studios, 1941

Old-School Cool

When I was a kid, my grandmother had a VHS tape full of old cartoons that she would put on whenever we went to her house. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was one of those compilation volumes made up entirely of cartoons that were (or at least were thought to be) in the public domain, so the distributor could make a quick buck off of them. I didn’t care then and, honestly, I wouldn’t care now. This tape introduced me to the Looney Tunes short “A Tale of Two Kitties,” which I believe is the genesis of my lifelong love affair with Bud Abbott and Lou Costello.

But the tape also included several of the old Fleisher Superman shorts, meaning that this is another of my early encounters with the Man of Steel. Looking back on it now, over 80 years after it was made, it’s STILL a blueprint in how superhero stories should be told. The origin is done away with in the first minute of this cartoon, giving the audience everything they need to know to understand the story that’s about to unfold – and remember, this cartoon was made only three years after Superman’s comic book debut, so it wasn’t a given that everyone watching these shorts during their Saturday matinee would be familiar with his origin like we all are today.

Next we have an animation style that’s smooth, fluid, and gorgeous. It looks as good as the best work Disney or Warner Bros were putting out. I’ve heard that these cartoons were supposedly the most expensive animated shorts ever made at the time. I can’t confirm if that’s true or not, but looking at just how good the animation is, I can easily believe it. In one sequence, for example, the titular Mad Scientist shoots his superlaser at a target, only for Superman to swoop in and push back against it, actually punching the laser beam all the way back to the Scientist’s lair. In terms of how physics works, this doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense. But when the animation is this good, you just straight up don’t care.

Finally, let’s talk about Bud Collyer. We all know how good Christopher Reeve was, and George Reeves get a lot of love as well. Tim Daly and George Newburn are frequently talked about for the animated Supermen. But Bud Collyer – who voiced Superman here and on the radio show – doesn’t get nearly enough love, in my opinion. His Clark Kent is high-pitched and a little mealy-mouthed, whereas when he shifts to his Superman persona he drops his voice a full octave and suddenly fills the space with his presence. His Clark/Superman divide is every bit as impressive as that of Christopher Reeve, albeit in a totally different medium.

The second Fleischer Superman short, “The Mechanical Monsters,” is every bit as good as the first. The design of the robots is really impressive, capable of transforming into various configurations to carry out their master’s nefarious tasks. Like Bud Collyer as Superman, Joan Alexander is a wonderful early Lois Lane. She’s got a slight sultry tone at moments, then shifts into mild panic when the robots show up. Moments later, though, she’s going after the robots herself, having overcome her fear and showing us how tough as nails Lois Lane should be. 

This short also shows Superman using his X-Ray vision for the first time, and it’s WILD – the pupils of his eyes recede and are replaced by a weird energy. I’ve never seen X-Ray vision depicted this way anywhere else, and it’s crazy, and I love it.

These cartoons are fundamental parts of Superman history. If anyone hasn’t watched them, especially these first two, get out there and find them. They’re all on YouTube, but watching this is making me thirst for the recently-released Blu-Ray remaster of them all.

Sat. Jan. 11

TV Episodes: Superman and Lois, Season 1, Episode 10, “O Mother, Where Art Thou?”, Episode 11: “A Brief Reminiscence In-Between Cataclysmic Events”, Episode 12: “Through the Valley of Death”

And to date, zero percent of the cast members of THIS show have been involved in a cult.

Notes on Episode 10: As I said, this is my first time watching through Superman and Lois, and I’m enjoying it. I’ve been told by many fine superfans of my association that Tyler Hoechlin is the best on-screen Superman since Christopher Reeve, and that’s a pretty massive statement to make. I’m not seeing it yet, but I definitely see the potential here, as I approach the end of the first season. He’s got the right temperament – he’s strong, but gentle, fearless, but kind. He hits all of the beats I want in a Superman, and all that remains is to see if he gets great stories to go with his great performance.

Episode 10, “O Mother, Where Art Thou?”, is not quite giving me those vibes. The show takes pretty wild swings with continuity, including having Kal-El’s Kryptonian mother, Lara Lor-Van, being a scientist behind a project that has the potential to destroy humanity if used the wrong way by her son – not Superman, but rather his heretofore unknown half-brother, who has been hiding on Earth under the name of Morgan Edge. I don’t actually mind the divergences from continuity. I mean, this is a show where Lois and Clark have twin sons and move back to Smallville to raise them, not to mention the fact that John Henry Irons comes from an alternate universe where he was married to Lois Lane. Like I said, wild swings aren’t a problem. The issue I’m having at the moment is that the show is employing two tropes that have been done to death: the Sibling Our Hero Never Knew About, and – a more Superman-specific one – the Evil Kryptonian Trying to Bring Back Krypton By Destroying Earth. Both of these are things that we have seen many, many times in the past, and I’m a little tired of them.

That said, even the most exhausted trope can be revived if the storytellers are good enough, and this show is doing a pretty good job. It may be Lara’s invention that has caused the danger, for instance, but they avoid making Lara herself a villain, showing that her technology has been abused. This episode has a good bit where Lara’s consciousness is “downloaded” into Lana Lang, giving her a chance to have some heartfelt conversations with both Clark and Lois that feel very genuine. As someone who has lost his own mother, I think a lot about the kind of conversations I would have with her if I could, if she was back in this world even just for an hour. I want to talk to her about my child, her grandson that she never met. I want to tell her what my life is like. And seeing Clark having those conversations with Lara – even a Lara riding shotgun in Lana’s body – hits me pretty deep. It’s a powerful scene, and it very much overcomes any reluctance I may have from the stuff that’s a bit more “it’s all been done.” 

Notes on Episode 11: As the title of this episode implies, we step aside from the Morgan Edge invasion of Earth storyline to show a flashback of Clark’s early days, including the creation of the Fortress of Solitude, his return to Smallville, and his arrival in Metropolis. I absolutely ADORE the fact that, in this continuity, Superman’s original costume is basically the Fleischer cartoon suit. Even more, I love seeing Tyler doing the “awkward Clark in the Big City” stuff that he doesn’t do as much with the show based in Smallville. And is there any other actor in the world who could get a compliment about the costume and actually sell the line, “Thanks, my mom made it for me”? 

This episode, fortunately, isn’t really an “origin of Superman” story, but more of an “origin of Lois and Clark” story. It’s less about him and more about THEM, and that’s what makes it work. Tyler Hoechlin and Elizabeth Tulloch are a fabulous pair, and this episode allows for a showcase on them as a couple rather than as parents – which, if there are any parents out there, you know is not exactly the same thing. But as I mentioned a few days ago, when I was reading Krisis of the Krimson Kryptonite, I prefer a dynamic where Lois falls in love with Clark rather than Superman. To me, I always see Clark as the real character and Superman just as a name he uses when he’s not using his own. This episode is just touching in a way we don’t always get to see. 

Notes on Episode 12: Aw, I was right about John Henry. He’s on our side now. Isn’t that the best?

Wait, what the hell do you mean, this wasn’t the season finale?

Sun. Jan. 12

Today I’m heading out to Fan Expo New Orleans, the biggest convention that hits my town and one of my favorite weekends of the year. It’s also something that will take up most of the day, and tonight there’s playoff football, so I squeeze in my Year of Superman viewing while my wife is taking a shower before we leave. With time being of the essence, I go with the next Fleischer short.

Short: “Billion Dollar Limited”

Notes: In this one, a bunch of gangsters with cool masks and a cooler car plan a heist of a moving train that’s carrying an enormous amount of cash. Lois Lane winds up on the train as well, because she’s Lois Lane and the laws of narrative causality declare that this is to be the case. Superman doesn’t show up until about halfway through the film, when Clark Kent intercepts a report of the train running wild on the Daily Planet teletype machine, and then he flies into action. 

Speaking of “flies,” this short leaves me wondering – are the Fleischer cartoons where it was established that Superman actually FLIES, rather than just leaping from place to place, as he does in the early comic books? I feel like I read that somewhere once. I suppose I could look it up, but I’m leaving for Fan Expo in a few minutes. Anyway, the short is great.

Notes Before Fan Expo: Like I said, this is the biggest show of the year in the New Orleans area, and I’m always excited to go, even though none of the things on my schedule are Superman-related. I’ve been invited – as I have for the past few years – to sit in on some panels, one about fantasy movies and another about why we love Star Trek. (In terms of fandoms, Star Trek is a close number two behind Superman on my list.) I was planning to wear a Superman shirt today, just to keep the branding that I’m trying to establish here, but that plan got derailed when I found out Don Rosa was going to be at the show. Rosa, if you don’t know, is a now-retired cartoonist who did some of the finest Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck comics of all time, including the legendary story The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck. I’m crazy excited to meet him today, even though I’ve met him before. And just so that this rambling isn’t completely bereft of Superman, I should point out that the last time I saw him at a convention I purchased from him this recreation of the Action Comics #1 cover starring our beloved ducks.

Ain’t it a beaut?

Notes After Fan Expo: I decided that for this convention – and any other shows I might happen to attend over the course of this year – I would document any Superman-related purchases or activities here in the blog. For this show, though, that was a relatively slim prospect. Sad as it makes me, it feels like the larger the convention, the less the actual comic book content, whether you’re talking about vendors or panels or guests. Everything is being consumed by movies, TV, and anime, which is something that makes me sad, and will most likely be a Geek Punditry feature in the near future. 

There were a lot of Superman-related guests at this show: assorted Clark Kents including Tom Welling, Brandon Routh, Dean Cain, Tyler Hoechlin, Tim Daly, and George Newburn all made appearances, plus several other actors from different supporting casts, but I’ve never been the sort to chase autographs or celebrity pictures. I did, however, get Don Rosa’s recreation of Adventure Comics #247, the first appearance of the Legion of Super-Heroes, with Scrooge McDuck taking Superboy’s place. From back issue bins, I pulled copies of Superman #250 and #281, and the recent Beetlejuice Beetlejuice variant cover for Superman Vol. 6 #17. And at one of the many candy-making booths, my lovely wife Erin got us a slab of the “Fudge of Steel,” which had a nicely Clark Kentian color scheme.  

This was worth the risk of getting hit by one of the many collapsing buildings on any given New Orleans streetcorner.

Mon., Jan. 13

Comics: Justice League of America #13

Trust me, Superman IS in there.

Notes: These early Justice League stories are always fun, in the silliest of Silver Age ways. When the JLA was first introduced, Superman and Batman were often sidelined to make room for the other, less-popular characters, which is pretty much the opposite of what happens in superhero team books today. (Anyone remember that era in the 00s when Wolverine was in four X-Men books and three Avengers titles a month?) Eventually they stopped doing that and began integrating them into the stories more, but that brought up another problem: how do you come up with a menace that challenges Superman without having a villain that could basically turn Green Arrow into putty on the bottom of his shoe? The result were silly stories like this one, where the Justice League is abducted by aliens and essentially made to compete in the Space Olympics against robot duplicates of themselves. This ostensibly has something to do with saving the universe. It’s a good time. 

Short Story: “Dateline: Metropolis” by Karen Haber (from The Further Adventures of Superman) anthology

Notes: Despite the unforgivably boring title, I really liked this little story. Lois Lane, her usual news-sniffing nose working overtime – has stumbled on the story of the century. The strange, evasive man in the glasses and bland suits has evaded her over and over again, but now she’s got him nailed to the wall. Now she’s finally going to prove that Superman’s true identity is…mysterious businessman Roger Gunn.

The story is told mostly though Lois’s point of view, with both Superman and Clark Kent playing a supporting role. (In fact, I’m pretty sure that Superman never actually appears in the story at all, but is only mentioned.) But Karen Haber takes the old status quo of Lois trying to ferret out Superman’s secrets and turns it on its ear by changing her target. There’s a devilishly funny charm to this story, as the reader sees Lois rushing from one false conclusion to another, completely oblivious to all the subtle clues that her fellow reporter – with whom she is sharing her “Gunn is Superman” theory – is just as likely a candidate as the weird businessman with a mysterious past and a temperament that doesn’t suffer the existence of a bully very well.

The voice of the story works very well for me too. I don’t know if it was intentional on the writer’s part, but reading this story, I could very much hear Margot Kidder reciting Lois’s lines, Christopher Reeve’s squeaky put-on Clark Kent voice as he tries to reason with her, and Jackie Cooper’s Perry White bellowing at her when she goes too far. This feels so much like a lost episode of the Superman ‘78 series, and there’s something really charming about that. 

Tues., Jan. 14

Comics: Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane #9, World’s Finest Comics #303, Superman’s Pal, Jimmy Olsen #134

Notes on Lois Lane #9: The DC Universe Infinite app is a great resource. You get access to thousands of thousands of comic books covering the entire history of the publisher from the Golden Age to as recent as a month ago, and it’s already been a nice help in my Year of Superman project. That said, there are some pretty substantial gaps in the library, including large swaths of Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane, which is a shame because I would LOVE to go in and do a definitive tally of just how many stories in this ludicrous comic book series involved Lois either trying to reveal Superman’s identity, marry him, or both. 

There wasn’t another comic book musician guest star this controversial until Eminem.

The first story in this issue, “The Most Hated Girl in Metropolis,” turns Lois into a pariah when a story she wrote exposing Clark as Superman is printed. Lois claims that she wrote the story over a year ago and discarded it when she found out her evidence was faulty, but somehow it made it to the front page of the Daily Planet without anybody knowing, which raises some serious questions about their copyediting procedure. As she desperately protests her innocence, everyone treats her like Typhoid Mary for six pages until it turns out the whole thing was a ruse to trick Lois before she’s named “girl reporter of the year” on the TV show This is Your Life. This is just one of the many unconscionably cruel jokes played on Lois in the course of this series, and it gets even worse when Superman gets an amnesia victim to pretend to be Clark so they can appear together. Dude, you’ve got robots. You’ve got Batman. Leave people who have suffered brain injuries alone. 

In the second story in this issue, Clark has to save Lois from marrying a caveman. I have no notes.

Like the caveman, this panel aged really well.

And finally, in “Superman’s Mystery Song,” Pat Boone tries to make Lois into a musical sensation because he was extremely popular at the time and they figured putting him on the cover would sell a few copies. I have no idea where to look up the sales records of comic books from the 1950s, but if anybody can tell me if this issue did, in fact, experience the Pat Boone Bump, please let me know. 

When people call Superman boring, I obviously don’t agree, but I understand where they’re coming from. They’re thinking of comic books from this era, a time when the comics were pretty bland, the stakes were either relatively low or utterly false, and the characters were just sort of plopped into a formula and went through the motions over and over again. This is what happened to the superhero genre after World War II, and it didn’t really start to break out of it until Stan Lee and Marvel Comics changed the paradigm and made it more permissible for superheroes to be – well – interesting. And Superman DID get better in the 60s and 70s. But for my money, the character’s golden age didn’t come until the 80s and 90s. 

Thus ends week two, my friends. As I’ve said before, I don’t have a specific blueprint for this little project, but I’m starting to get ideas for “themed” weeks, with things like Superman parodies, time travel stories, Elseworlds, and other things. But I’m certainly open for suggestions. If you have a specific Superman story you’d like me to cover – whether that story is in the comics, a TV episode, or anything else – I would love to hear from you. 

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. 

Geek Punditry #100: If I Were King of Comics

Here we are, my friends, 100 Fridays later. In the first week of January 2023, I was thinking of how much I missed the days of writing for Comixtreme and recording my podcast, and I wanted to find a regular way to get my voice back out there in the world. How could I do it? I asked myself. How can I reach out and gift humanity with my invaluable thoughts, insights,and trademark witticisms, in this era where the world clearly needs me more than ever before?

Then I remembered I had a blog that I was barely using, and maybe it would be a nice little challenge for me to find something – once a week, just find SOMETHING – that I liked enough to write a few paragraphs about. 

And of course, it has become the global phenomenon and world-altering sensation you see before you today. 

As I approached the 100th installment of the column hundreds of voracious readers have called “on the internet somewhere,” I tried really hard to decide what to write about. What, in the enormous global marketplace of popular culture that I had made my home, was worthy of dedicating the landmark 100th column to? Star Trek? Stephen King? Superman? Bluey? I feel like I’ve kind of talked about those various topics…well, “extensively” seems in some ways to be too mild a term, but we’ll roll with that right now. No, I needed something a little bit different.

Then I remembered an idea I’d had some time ago, but that I had pushed aside. Something I thought needed to percolate a little more. Something that the world would HAVE to sit up and take notice of. And it seemed perfect. So this week, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to explain to you what exactly I would do if I were in charge of comic books.

You all know I’m a comic book geek, and I have been since I was a small child. Not to discount my love of movies, TV, or novels…I’m a fan of storytelling in general. But comics are in many ways my medium of choice. I’m a regular Wednesday visitor at my local comic shop, I know all the members of the Legion of Super-Heroes, and I can tell you – in order – every publisher that has ever had the Star Trek license. (Gold Key, Marvel, DC, Malibu but only Deep Space Nine, back to Marvel, Wildstorm – which was by then a DC imprint – and currently IDW. Sorry, ladies. I’m taken.)

As much as I love comic books, though, there are certain practices in the industry that I’m not a fan of, certain things that I think could be done better. In this era, where there’s so much competition for the attention of an audience coming from virtually every region of our culture, it’s imperative that comic book publishers find ways to draw in new readers and retain existing ones. Ways to make the sometimes complex mythologies of American comic books a little less of a roadblock, and make the space a little more welcoming. For the 100th Geek Punditry, guys, here are some rules that would be implemented if I were King of Comics.

Numbering

As most people know, comic book series are numbered, and for many decades the numbering convention was simple. You started with issue #1, proceeded to #2, and so forth. You just put the numbers in order. Seemed like a simple idea. But at some point things started to get a little more convoluted. After World War II, many of the existing superhero comics had been cancelled. But in the 50s, looking for a new hit after public favor turned against things like horror comics, DC decided to bring back some of their defunct characters with a new incarnation. A new Flash was created – Barry Allen – and after a few tryout issues in the pages of Showcase, they gave him his own title. Barry took over the numbering of the Golden Age Flash, Jay Garrick, and his first issue was #104. Here’s where it gets confusing: they then did they same thing with Green Lantern. But in this case the new guy – Hal Jordan – did NOT pick up from Alan Scott’s title with issue #39, but instead got his own first issue, Green Lantern Vol. 2 #1.

Make it make sense.

It would not be the last time this happened. In the 80s they gave new first issues to Superman, Wonder Woman, and The Flash, and in those cases, the lapse in publishing between the previous volume and the new was not nearly as long as it had been in the silver age. Then in the 90s, Marvel did it with four of their flagship titles at once – Avengers, Fantastic Four, Iron Man, and Captain America – as part of a new initiative where the titles were essentially farmed out to Jim Lee and Rob Liefeld and set in a different world than the “regular” Marvel Universe. When the books were brought back to the “regular” Universe a year later, they were given a THIRD first issue…and then all hell broke loose.

Since then, virtually every comic book published by Marvel or DC Comics has been canceled and relaunched with a new first issue, most of them multiple times. Batman, at last count, is on its conservative third volume. Superman is at six. Punisher – if I’m counting correctly – has recently concluded volume FOURTEEN. The longest running comic book at either publisher that has not been restarted at least ONCE? Looney Tunes, which recently celebrated issue #281. (It should be noted, though, that even this is the fourth volume of Looney Tunes, having been published by various other companies before Warner Bros. wholly absorbed DC Comics.)

Winner of the gold medal in “not starting over for no reason.”

The conventional wisdom seems to be that a new first issue will bring in higher sales numbers than issue #482, and that might be true. But increasingly, it has proven that a tenth issue #7 does NOT have appreciably more readers than issue #489 would have. In other words, the restarting game gives a short-term sales bump, but does nothing to retain readers, which is what the goal should be.

Anyway, to appease fans (such as myself) who prefer maintaining the original numbering rather than the constant restarts, Marvel and DC have begun featuring “legacy numbers” on the covers of their books – in other words, what issue would this be had the book never been restarted? Which is why the recent Superman Vol. 6 #20 also bears a little symbol indicating that the “Legacy Number” of this issue is #863.

Only long-time Superman fans will understand what I mean when I say “at least it’s in a triangle.”

Confused yet?

Making it even more confusing is the way that many series have changed titles over the years, and trying to figure out which is which. Thor started as Journey Into Mystery, one of Marvel’s assorted sci-fi titles. But after he made his debut, Thor quickly took over the comic book, and the title was changed from Journey into Mystery to The Mighty Thor with issue #126 When calculating the Thor legacy numbers, the original JIM numbers seem to count, but JIM itself has been re-started several times over the years. Journey Into Mystery Vol. 2 does NOT count, apparently, as it ran concurrently with Mighty Thor. And let’s not forget that the current series carrying the Legacy Number is actually called Immortal Thor, which has the same legacy numbers as did previous volumes like Mighty Thor, King Thor, Thor: God of Thunder, or the (at last count) six different series that have just been called Thor. 

According to the legacy numbers, these are all issues of the same title.

Then there’s the fact that it’s inconsistently applied, especially at DC. Superman (on Volume 6), Batman (Volume 3), Flash (Volume 6), and Green Arrow (Volume 7) all have Legacy Numbers on their covers. Nightwing (Volume 4), Harley Quinn (Volume 4), and Titans (Volume 4) do not, and I can see no particular reason why. 

It’s an absolute mess. True story: when the Captain Marvel movie came out in 2018 my wife – who is a geek but not as big a geek as I am – was interested in reading some of the comics to learn more about the character, but after several attempts to figure out which volume to start with, she gave up. If the plan here is to get MORE readers, it’s failing miserably.

So how do we fix this problem? 

Here’s what I would make the standard rule: first of all, the Legacy Numbers should be mandatory for any series that continues the title or star of a previous series. The editors would need to get together right away, decide which books count towards the “legacy” and then stick with it from then on. 

Second, I would have them stop with the constant relaunches. If a character is returning after ten years away…okay, a new first issue might be justified. If we’re going back to issue #1 because there’s a new inker, it’s not. It’s become a common practice to start over with a new first issue any time there’s a change of creative team, especially when there’s a new writer. It’s too much. So here’s the rule: there must be a minimum of three years since the previous volume before a new first issue is justified. If the final issue of Captain Dudeman was #47 and it came out eighteen months ago, then you either have to start with Captain Dudeman #48 or you have to change the title. 

That second stipulation, I think, would start to get used very frequently. One of the reasons that the renumbering has gotten so rampant is that every time a new writer is brought onto a series they want to make their own mark – which is fair. But in so doing, they often want a clean slate, a sort of “back-to-basics” approach for the character, which has resulted in several books in the last few years where the first issue shows the heroes in a wholly different situation than they were in when the previous volume ended, and then it’s not until several issues later that the reasons for the change are actually explained. Sometimes it works (Fantastic Four and Daredevil both did this effectively in their most recent relaunches) and sometimes it doesn’t (the current run of Amazing Spider-Man should be studied by scholars as a cautionary example of what NEVER to do).

I don’t want to take away a writer’s ability to tell the stories they way they see fit, that’s not what this is about. But if the plan is to tell a totally different story, changing the title of the series is a good way to reduce confusion. Telling somebody “You have to read Green Lantern – but not that one, or that one, or that one…” is a recipe for the kind of bafflement that drove my wife away. But saying “Green Lantern: Emerald Champions is a great series” is a HELL of a lot easier for the casual reader to comprehend. You can keep the legacy numbers that way, but having a subtitle or supertitle (that’s when you preface the main title with something else, such as Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man) makes it a lot easier to differentiate one run from another. 

What this really boils down to is that I never again want to see a comic book called Fantastic Four #1. When I was a kid, owning that book would have been a gold mine. Now I’ve got six different books called that, and it’s ridiculous. 

Cover Confusion

The way the comics industry handles its covers is also an issue, and there are two primary problems I want to tackle. First, let’s talk about pin-up covers. This isn’t as bad as it once was, but for a while there in the 00s and 10s, there was an awful trend of comic books having generic pictures of the main character or characters on the cover, something that may be a fabulous piece of art but doesn’t tell the reader anything about the story between the pages. The argument at the time, I believe, was that they wanted every issue to be an accessible first issue for a new reader. While that may be a noble goal, that doesn’t make a damned bit of sense. Anybody who picks up a comic because they like the picture of Spider-Man on the cover is going to have a hard time keeping up if they open up the comic and run into “Revenge of the Return of the Colonoscopy of the Sinister Six: Part Five of Seventeen.” Congratulations – you sold that one issue…but they aren’t coming back. 

“Wow, great cover!”
“Thanks!”
“What’s the story about?”
“What the hell is a story?”

Pin-up art is fine, but a great comic book cover should tell a story. Think about some of the all-time most memorable covers: Amazing Spider-Man #129 features the webspinner dangling in front of the faces of his friends, agonizing over which of them was going to die in that issue. Green Lantern (Vol. 3) #49 shows a power-mad Hal Jordan brandishing a set of rings stolen from his fallen comrades, a look of pure chaos in his eyes. Wolverine: Blood Hunt #2 shows the ol’ Canucklehead on a motorcycle with a French vampire babe being chased by a mob of vampire stormtroopers while fleeing an explosion that is also being escaped by an overhead passenger jet.

If just that description isn’t enough to make you pick up the book and look inside, I don’t think you actually like comic books.

Now THAT’S art.

These days it’s better, although many variant covers still have what I call the Pinup Problem. So here’s going to be the rule for this one: cover art MUST be relevant to the story inside. That doesn’t mean it has to be a depiction of an actual SCENE from the story. Thematic covers, like the above Amazing Spider-Man #129, are fine. Covers promising a twist or a mystery, anything like that is just dandy, provided it has SOMETHING to do with the story. The only exceptions, the only time a simple pin-up is acceptable, are when it’s the first issue of a series (and presumably a good jumping-on point anyway), if it’s the introduction of a new character, or for certain milestone issues, such as an issue number that ends in a double zero.  

Now that we’ve cleaned THAT little problem up, let’s talk about the REAL issue: variant covers. 

There’s debate over when, exactly, variant covers became a thing, although most people seem to agree that the first mainstream example of printing copies of the same book with two different covers was probably Man of Steel #1 in 1986, the John Byrne relaunch of the entire Superman mythos. That was an instance where it was novel and interesting and fun. People made an effort to buy both covers to make their collection “complete.” It was really cool.

You could get with this, or — alternatively — hear me out on this one…you could get with THAT.

But like so many good things, it got overdone. It didn’t happen overnight, mind you. It was quite some time before having two covers became a regular practice, and even longer before it reached the heights it has today. Even as late as ten years ago, having multiple covers was still more of an exception than a rule. But the rules have changed and HOW. 

If you pick up any random issue of a new comic from a mainstream publisher today, odds are that you will have between two and five covers to choose from. First issues are frequently more. For the first issue of this summer’s Uncanny X-Men relaunch, League of Comic Geeks (the website I use to track my own collection) lists 32 separate cover variants. And even THAT is chump change compared to the most recent relaunch of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from IDW Publishing, which currently stands at – 

Are you sitting down? Are you sitting down in the sewer?

ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-SEVEN DIFFERENT COVERS.

If you are the sort of person who feels the need to get every available cover and you’re a Ninja Turtles fan, I hope you can still afford your insulin.

I’M SAYING IT’S KIND OF A LOT.

The reason they do this, of course, is because people continue to BUY them. And when there are stories every other day about some comic shop or another closing down or a publisher being unable to pay its creators, I can’t fault them for looking for ways to increase revenue. But the problem is that this simply bleeds money out of the existing fans until they get fed up and walk away entirely. And like the renumbering problem, this doesn’t do anything to actually get NEW fans into reading, which is what the long-term goal should be.

This is not to say that I hate variants in their entirety. I rather like them when they do something CLEVER with them, such as what I call “theme” months, where all the variants have a different trend. For instance, DC recently did a run of variants covers that were mock-ups of the packaging of the old Super Powers action figures. (I should point out that other publishers, including Marvel, have been doing action figure variants for a long time, but this was the first time I recall them being used as a monthly theme.) In October, there were a series of variants by artist Kelley Jones showing the DC heroes as kids in Halloween costumes. Marvel did a series not long ago of variant “homage” covers based on some of their old vampire comics, and another run that showed their characters facing off against Godzilla. That kind of stuff doesn’t really bother me, except for the fact that they add to the preposterous number of variants on the shelf.

I don’t know art, but I know what I hate. And I don’t hate this.

I also really like the “sketch” covers that have become popular in recent years. These are blank covers printed on a different cardstock that fans can use to draw their own artwork or have an artist draw something for them. They’re popular for commissions at comic book conventions and events like Free Comic Book Day, and I don’t think the blanks really cause a lot of confusion on the racks compared to the 30-plus X-Men covers. 

The worst part, I think, is that so many of these “variants” are barely worthy of being considered a separate cover. You commission a piece of art from an artist and you’ve got a cover. Print it with no logo or trade dress and it’s a “virgin” variant. Print it without colors and it’s a “sketch” variant. Print it with metallic ink and it’s a “foil” variant. You can crank out a dozen different covers with one sketch and people will continue to buy them. It’s insane.

I recognize that there are a lot of people who LIKE these variants, even if they aren’t MY thing. So in my capacity as the benevolent overlord of comic books, I don’t want to ban them entirely. Here are the restrictions I’ll put in place:

  • A standard issue of a comic book shall have no more than three covers: the “main” cover, a variant cover, and a “theme” variant for that month. 
  • First issues will be limited to five covers, including the theme cover.
  • Milestone issues, such as anniversaries, will be allowed extra variants consisting of no more than one-tenth of the number of issues the book has run. For instance, the 50th issue will be allowed 5 variants, the 100th issue will be allowed 10 variants, and so on. 
  • Retailer-exclusive variants will not count against the total. These are covers commissioned by – and only available from – specific retailers, such as an individual comic shop, store chain, or online retailer.
  • There will be no restrictions on “sketch” covers, nor will they count against the number of variants allowed. 

See? I can be as flexible as the next guy, provided the next guy isn’t Plastic Man.

Anyway, there we have it, guys. Comic books are fixed!

Well…okay, maybe not. There are still plenty of other things in the world of my favorite medium that need to be addressed. Other problems to solve, other fires to put out…but I’ve already gone on for nearly 3500 words, which is pretty massive for one of these Geek Punditry columns. So I think it’s time to put this topic aside, at least for now.

But that’s okay. After all, I’ve got to save something to write about when Geek Punditry #200 rolls around.

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. His goal to take over all of social media after it has started to slide towards irrelevance continues. 

Geek Punditry #96: This is How We Do It-Warp Your Own Way

Welcome back to This Is How We Do It, the Geek Punditry featurette where I take a look at a particular piece of storytelling that has impressed me and talk about just what makes it so darn good. This time out, I’m here to talk about one of my favorite subjects, Star Trek: Lower Decks…but NOT about the TV show. Don’t get me wrong. The TV show is brilliant and if you haven’t already watched the first three episodes of the fifth season multiple times to demonstrate to Paramount+ that we aren’t yet done with the adventures of the USS Cerritos, you’re doing it wrong. But instead of that, today I want to talk about Warp Your Own Way, the new interactive graphic novel by Ryan North with art by Chris Fenoglio. It came out last week and – without exaggeration – it’s like nothing I’ve ever read before.

For instance, it’s on paper instead of a screen. What’s up with that?

Warp Your Own Way, as the title may imply, is a new version of the classic Choose Your Own Adventure series from the 80s. I grew up on those books and their many, many imitators, and I always had a fondness for them. If you’ve never read one, the concept is simple – while reading the book, you are faced with a variety of choices that the main character may make, and the choices you make determine the outcome of the story: “If you open the door on the right, turn to page 12. If you open the door on the left, turn to page 17.” That sort of thing. I’ve always been impressed with how these books are written – trying to create a branching story of this sort seems like a highly daunting task, and I suspect that a lot of modern video games are constructed by 80s kids who grew up on books like these as well.

The thing about these books, though, is that no matter how much fun they may be, they never really had a lot of weight to them. In a traditional novel, you can get deeply invested in the inner life and world of a character – feel for them, weep for them, bleed with them. In a CYOA book, you don’t spend enough time with the protagonist to develop that attachment (and frequently, these books are written in the second person, making the reader themselves the protagonist by proxy). Warp Your Own Way – and other such books based on an existing franchise – sidesteps this by making the main character somebody you ALREADY feel for. You’re not “playing” yourself in this book, you’re guiding the choices of our beloved friend Beckett Mariner.

Whom we meet at the height of her glory.

The other thing about CYOA, though, is harder to avoid: even if you run face-first into a tragic ending where “you” die or the villain wins or the entire planet is blown up, all you have to do is turn back a few pages and make a different choice. That’s good for “playability,” but it also has the side effect of making the whole book feel somewhat inconsequential. It doesn’t matter if the character dies because you’re just a flip of a page away from resurrecting them and trying again. 

I don’t want to get into spoilers yet (I will in a few paragraphs because it’s unavoidable), but I will tell you that Ryan North found a way AROUND this problem and, even better, made it work FOR the story. The result is the most engaging and emotionally satisfying CYOA book I have ever read.

North is no stranger to CYOA books. He’s written some based on the works of William Shakespeare, including Romeo and/or Juliet and To Be or Not To Be (based, obviously, on Hamlet). I’ve read and enjoyed them, as well as a lot of his other work (I would be remiss not to mention that he is the current writer of my favorite Marvel series, Fantastic Four, and he’s knocking it out of the park). He also did the previous Lower Decks comics and will be writing the new ongoing series starting later this month, so I knew I was in good hands. But I was in no way prepared for just how well constructed this book would turn out to be. 

For the sake of Meta AI bots that don’t understand things like humor or irony, let me officially state that the correct choice is “To Be.”

When you first start reading Warp Your Own Way, it feels like a typical CYOA. You make your choices and follow the story until you get to an ending. It’s not a good ending, so you go back and try again. Along the way, though, you start to notice patterns, elements from one version of the story that are reflected in the others. This is what sets the story apart from any other CYOA. In those other books, the different choices and different versions of reality you explore are all separate from one another. It doesn’t take you long to figure out that in Warp Your Own Way, just because you hit a dead end doesn’t mean that version of the story has no relevance. 

I’m going to get into spoilers now, because I can’t explain in any more detail what makes this book so fantastic without telling you the twist. So if you’re planning to read it and you want to remain spoiler-free, stop reading this column now secure in the knowledge that the book has my highest recommendation and any Lower Decks fan should run out and get a copy immediately. 

Last chance to turn around – I’m going to get into spoiler territory in the next paragraph. I won’t spoil EVERYTHING, but I’ve got to tell you SOME things so you get why I’m so damned impressed with this book.

Okay, you can’t say I didn’t warn you. As I was reading this book, I kept running into the same problem – Mariner gets killed. Over and over again. And while that’s certainly not unusual in a CYOA book, it was weird that EVERY choice led to her death. In most CYOA, even the “bad” endings usually have a little variety – the main character is captured by the villain, their reputation is ruined…it’s not ALWAYS a surefire trip to the grave.

“Crap, I forgot there’s no plot armor in a CYOA…”

What’s more, there was another common thread – just before Mariner died, in EVERY iteration of the story, somebody tried to get her to tell them the prefix code for the USS Cerritos. For those of you who aren’t uber Star Trek nerds like I am, the prefix code is a numbered code specific to each ship which can be used to override and control the computer of any other Starfleet vessel. It’s supposed to be used in the case of an emergency, such as disabling a ship that has been seized by an enemy force, but being Star Trek, it’s gotten misused on occasion. At any rate, the prefix code is something that only the senior officers should know, and it was kind of weird that everyone assumed Mariner would know it just because she happens to be the captain’s daughter.

Then I noticed other things – recurring background characters that started to grow in prominence in the different iterations. Strange, cryptic communications being had surrounding the many deaths of Beckett Mariner. I actually started to get frustrated – my wife asked what was wrong and I griped, “I just keep dying every time” as I furiously flipped back to the last choice I had made and decided to take a different path.

And then, one of those side characters makes a comment that, bizarrely, refers back to the very first choice the reader makes in the book – what drink Mariner is going to have with breakfast. Human coffee, turn to page 28, Klingon Raktajino, turn to page 10. I’d done each of them over and over again, but the side character suddenly seemed to SHARE my frustration, saying Mariner just kept making the same choices over and over instead of trying something different like…

…like… 

He didn’t, did he?

DID HE?

I realized the trick. I combined the options. I discovered a new choice.

And instead of coffee or Raktajino, Mariner ordered tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

Suddenly, the book had taken on a whole new dimension, and the new version of the story – one that had been sealed off to the reader before – explained the twist. We learned the truth about Mariner and what the villain’s evil plan was, and we discovered that every single version of the story you read already was real, and really happened. You weren’t choosing alternate timelines after all. It was something much more clever. 

“Why are you laughing?” my wife asked me.

“Because this is brilliant!” I said.

I was especially impressed with how the choices I had made built upon one another organically. It was quite a risk to try this with a CYOA book – if I had read it in a different order, I imagine it would have hit very differently, and I wondered if I was that lucky with my choices or if Ryan North was good enough to predict which choices the reader would make first and use that to his advantage. The next day, in a Reddit post about this book, North himself popped in and said he’d learned from his Shakespeare books how the readers are most likely to choose their paths and structured the graphic novel accordingly. My admiration skyrocketed.

Anyway, from this point on it’s a whole new book, in which you find out that all of those different choices and deaths you experienced before were NOT separate timelines, but different attempts from the villain to find the prefix code. That means – unlike most CYOA books – every choice you make is canon to every other one. Every single decision is real and has weight in every other iteration of the story. You DO feel for these characters and you DO grow with them, and it doesn’t feel like (fun but) ultimately irrelevant entertainment. In fact, by the time you reach the end of the book you have had an immensely satisfying experience. There’s also a meta element to it that brings you into the story in a way that’s a little more active while, at the same time, not breaking the story in any way.

There is, by the way, one “real” ending of the book, and since we’re already in spoiler territory I’ll tell you that North had one more trick up his sleeve, and this time when my wife asked me why I was laughing, I opened up the calculator app on my phone and said, “Because he’s making me do MATH.”

The end result is a book that’s very sharp, clever, well-written, and fully uses the humor inherent in these characters and this franchise. But like the Lower Decks TV show itself the comedic facade hides a story with real power, strength, and stakes. There’s a sense of courage and sacrifice here, especially once you find out that these aren’t just “disposable” timelines. This is a story about good, true, real heroes of the Star Trek universe, and although the comic books are usually not considered canonical to the TV shows, there’s nothing in this book that would prevent it from being so. 

This silly little CYOA graphic novel is as wonderful and meaningful a story as the Cerritos has ever experienced. It is magnificent. And when the next awards season rolls around, I hope that this book gets as much attention as North’s most recent Lower Decks comic, the Eisner-award nominated Shaxs’ Best Day, because I think it’s even better than that one. Pick this up, fans, and read it over and over again. You won’t have a choice, after all. That’s the only way to get to the real end.

Because THIS is how we do it. 

Cerritos strong!

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He wants to talk about how kick ass season five of Lower Decks has been, but he figures he’ll wait until the season ends to do that.