I know that parents brag about their kids a lot, and a lot of it is overblown and unwarranted, but today I’ve got a legitimate achievement for you. I am willing to bet that my son is the only second grader in the entire state of Louisiana who plays Supermarket Sweep when he’s supposed to be getting ready for school in the morning.
Bite it, Teletubbies.
I’ve written before about my love for Pluto TV and their various channels full of old TV shows. If you’re a Pluto viewer, though, and you stick with a single channel long enough, you see the shows start to cycle back to the beginning, so I find that we tend to go through phases. For a while there, whenever we turned on Pluto TV it was to watch I Love Lucy. Then there was a period where we were stuck on the channel with old episodes of Cheers and Frasier. We went through a Top Gear period and a Nick Jr. Channel phase and a nice chunk of time where we watched the old Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. But in recent weeks we’ve gravitated towards Supermarket Sweep, the old 90s game show where contestants answered trivia questions and played games about groceries and shopping, not to win money, but to win TIME. Then they used that time in a mad dash through the supermarket, trying to grab as much as they could in bonuses and merchandise for the right to play the final $5000 game. If you were around in the first half of the 90s, I’m sure you watched this show. I’m sure you thought about being ON this show. Hell, host David Ruprecht even ENTICED you with it at the end of every episode: “Remember, the next time you’re at the checkout counter and you hear that beep (BEEP BEEP), think of the fun you could have on Supermarket Sweep!”
Such a tease, that David Ruprecht.
The face of temptation.
Anyway, we can never quite predict which shows Eddie will latch on to, and something about Supermarket Sweep has really captured his attention. He runs around the house, grabbing random items for his “sweep,” and declaring which ones are bonus items and how much the bonuses are worth. Unlike the original sweep, where bonuses were usually worth something between $50 and $300, sometimes Eddie will declare the bonuses his mother and I have won to be worth, and I quote, “ZERO DOLLARS,” followed by an insane giggle. It’s all about the joys of parenting.
Watching this 30-year-old game show is a kind of television comfort food. It’s very low-stress, except when you’ve figured out one of the clues and the contestants haven’t and you’re YELLING at them that they’re supposed to be looking for the FLINTSTONES VITAMINS, NOT THE FRUITY PEBBLES, YOU MORON! At one point, I was writing something on my laptop when my wife shouted “KUDOS!”, and for a moment I thought she was congratulating me before I realized she was referring to a granola bar. Sometimes the answer will be a product neither Erin or I have ever heard of, or sometimes it’ll be something they stopped making 20 years ago and suddenly we find that we miss it. It really tugs on those nostalgic strings.
This episode triggered Ralphie Parker’s PTSD.
There’s also a quaintness to it. For instance, in one game the contestants are presented with three different products and they have to guess which one costs more than, say, $2. And I laugh, because every one of those products would be at least $7 today, and I realize that if I were to go back in time and be a contestant on this show, I would be very, very bad at the pricing games.
There was a revival of Supermarket Sweep a few years ago hosted by Leslie Jones, but it didn’t last. I watched it a couple of times, and it didn’t really get to me the way the old ones do. I feel like modern games shows work really hard to amplify the stakes. Bigger prizes, bigger sets, flashy graphics. I’ve seen shows that literally have an enormous roulette wheel, others where an incorrect answer will have someone ejected into a pool of water…and I still haven’t got the slightest idea what Fox’s The Floor is supposed to be.
Like this, but starring Rob Lowe.
Even the old stalwarts have had to change with the times. Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy both have bigger prizes on the line than they did back in the day, and while part of that can certainly be chalked up to inflation, it also feels like there’s an effort to keep “modernizing” it. Wheel has new types of puzzles than they used to, for instance, with sometimes baffling rules. Jeopardy is still played more or less the way it always has been, but it’s become more attached to the cult of celebrity. It’s been a long time now since they got rid of their five-day limit for returning champions, but in recent years there’s been a push to make “stars” out of any champion who gets on a particularly long winning streak. I get it, it’s playing the media game, but watching these shows today does bring out a thirst for the classics.
A few years back, after Hurricane Ida hit, we were without internet at our house for about a month. Fortunately, we have an antenna, so we weren’t completely cut off from the world around us, but we certainly didn’t want to watch news coverage of the storm 24 hours a day. So my wife and I (this was before Eddie had quite reached the point where he was demanding control over the remote) settled on leaving the TV most of the time on one of the many digital channels that have cropped up since the analog signal was abandoned, one that showed nothing but game show reruns 24 hours a day. There was no Supermarket Sweep there, but we found ourselves reacquainted with old shows like Hollywood Squares, Match Game, and Card Sharks, cycling through the old games and chuckling at the old prizes.
That’s right, Bob, flip it like you mean it.
It’s a similar feeling to watching old sitcoms or science fiction shows, but there’s a strange contradiction when it comes to the stakes. If I’m watching an old episode of Star Trek, there’s a tension there about the fate of the crew of the Starship Enterprise, even though I know for a fact that these are all actors, that nobody was actually hurt in the filming of this episode, and that pretty much everybody not wearing red is guaranteed to be back next week unless their name is Denise Crosby. On the other hand, watching an old game show has none of that tension, even though the people on that show WERE real people and WERE playing for real money and prizes that might have changed their lives. The game shows are less intense for the viewer, even though there is far more at stake for the people involved. It’s such a weird juxtaposition, but it’s true.
“And if you get the Jolly Green Giant bonus, it comes with some of your absent father’s love.”
I don’t know how long Eddie is going to remain obsessed with Supermarket Sweep. If past performance is any indicator, it will go on until we stumble upon something else, purely by chance, that diverts his attention. It could be a cartoon, could be a sitcom, could be another game show. There’s no telling. But in the meantime, I’m kind of enjoying a virtual run down the aisle, trying to stack up on those big blocks of cheese worth $30 each or grabbing the three items from David Ruprecht’s shopping list for a bonus $250. And when the contestant can’t figure out that the clue is supposed to send them shopping for Aquafresh Toothpaste, I am there to yell the correct answer at the screen, only for Eddie to echo me a moment later.
It’s not game-changing television. It’s not Squid Game or Yellowstone, it’s not something people will be talking about around the water cooler if people still do that sort of thing. But it’s nice.
Sometimes just nice is okay.
Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. Also nice: reruns of The Dating Game that do not involve serial killers. So, that’s at least 75 percent of them.
Last week, I spent most of my Superman time reading the story of his death from 1992. This week we’re jumping ahead over that gap in publication to look into the story that brought him back. Get ready for “Reign of the Supermen,” friends! But first…
It’s gonna get CRAAAAAAAZYYYYYYY…
Wed., March 5
Comics:Adventures of Superman #500
Supposedly, you could peel off the top layer of this cover and remove Jonathan’s hand. I never tried it. I don’t know why the hell anybody would want to.
Notes: The return of Superman begins right where Superman #77 ended with Jonathan Kent lying in a hospital in cardiac arrest. I think back to 1993, when we had to wait about three months in the relative hours that passed between these issues. It truly seemed, at the time, that Jonathan had died of grief over the death of his son, and unlike Clark, we didn’t really feel certain that Jonathan would necessarily be coming back. I think that’s one of the things that still makes this issue so damned good.
Before I get too deep into this I need to make something clear – if you have never read the “Reign of the Supermen” story before, I’m going to be spoiling stuff left and right, beginning in this little recap of this issue. I’m assuming that anyone reading this blog is a hardcore Superman fan and already knows the story pretty well, but on the off-chance that you don’t, consider this your spoiler warning. I didn’t worry quite as much about spoilers when it came to the Death of Superman because…well, it’s right there in the title. But there are a few twists coming in the story of his return, so if you don’t know (for example) who the four people who stepped up to fill Superman’s shoes are, this is your warning to go read the entire story first before you come back here.
Okay, back to Adventures #500. The first half of the issue follows Jonathan into a near-death experience. In a strange realm somewhere between the living and the dead, Jonathan sees Clark being taken away by a contingent of Kryptonian spirits. He charges after his boy, uncovering the truth – the “Kryptonians” are minions of Clark’s old foe, the demon Blaze, and it’s up to Jonathan to convince “Kal-El” to turn around and come back to Earth.
I wonder if there was ever a temptation to have Superman fight this battle himself, do the sort of “power of will” ending that so many of his stories have had in the past. Certainly, it would have been adequate, but…this is better. Having him saved by Jonathan is just better. Showing the father risking everything to save his child is always something that’s going to tug on my heartstrings, and the fact that the child in question is Superman himself somehow makes it even better. “Oh, my son is the most powerful man in the world? Man of steel? Man of tomorrow? His symbol literally means ‘hope’? Shut up, hand me a shovel, and get out of my way.”
I love Jonathan in this book.
The shovel, by the way, is a really nice callback to the last chapter of John Byrne’s Man of Steel, where Clark was mesmerized by a hologram of Jor-El and Jonathan broke him free by smashing it with a shovel. Here it’s not really Jor-El, but demon wearing his form, but the fact that Jonathan manages to summon a shovel out of the ether to save his boy just makes me want to jump up and cheer.
The main story ends with Lois and Inspector Henderson of the Metropolis PD going to Superman’s tomb to find that it empty, just in case the Christ allegory in the character wasn’t obvious enough. After that, though, we get into our first sightings of the four new characters who stepped up as the stars of the series for the next few months, and each of them has an introduction that is quite fitting for the person they would prove himself to be. John Henry Irons is first glimpsed pulling himself from rubble and proclaiming that he’s got to stop Doomsday – the hero inherent in him is already clear. The “Last Son of Krypton” first shows up dishing out a rather brutal brand of justice – the right intentions, but the wrong path. “The Kid” (who at this point had no name) is broken free from Cadmus by the Newsboy Legion and demonstrates the pigheadedness that defined his early years with a simple proclamation: “Don’t ever call me Superboy!” And finally, the Cyborg makes his first appearance in a wordless sequence in which he lands in front of the Daily Planet building and destroys the marker that designates the spot where Superman died, proclaiming simply “I’m back.” As the true villain of the piece, it’s a nice introduction. Would the real Superman necessarily destroy his memorial? Possibly…but a villain intent on destroying Superman’s good name would definitely do so.
I’m looking forward to reading the rest of this again, my friends.
Thur., March 6
“One of these things is not like the others…”
Comics:Action Comics #687, Superman: The Man of Steel #22, Superman Vol. 2 #78, Adventures of Superman #501
Notes: The return storyline begins in earnest today. Like I said yesterday, I’m not going to bother to try to hide the reveals for these books, but at the same time, I’m also going to try to recreate the thought process we went through as readers when these books were still fresh, still coming out one week at a time (except for these first four issues, which were all released on the same day). The story begins with the “Last Son of Krypton,” who would eventually be revealed to be the Eradicator, being reconstituted in the Fortress of Solitude by the very robots that he built. Ever since he was supposedly destroyed back in Action Comics #667, the energy that made up his essence had been trapped in the walls of the Fortress, finally restored here. Roger Stern structures it in such a way, though, that it’s not immediately obvious that we’re looking at the Eradicator. It’s possible, or so it seemed at the time, that this energy-being who then went to retrieve Superman’s body, was actually Superman’s soul. He’s less compassionate than our Superman, less personal with Lois, but this too could have been an artifact of his encounter in the afterlife from Adventures #500.
Man of Steel #22 gives us John Henry Irons’ first full appearance, and we first see him sitting on the stoop of an apartment building, telling kids the story of John Henry versus the machine. Again, subtlety was not a strong suit for these comics. Anyway, John – under the alias “Henry Johnson,” is horrified when a gang hit kills one of the neighborhood kids using a weapon he recognizes as a “Toastmaster,” something he designed in his previous life. He remembers how Superman once saved his life, and told him to “make it count,” inspiring him to make the Man of Steel armor to clean the streets of his weapons. I’ve made no secret of my love of John Henry, and how of the four Supermen, he was my favorite. I think it’s important to point out, though, that the idea of him being the “real” Superman wasn’t out of the question at the time. Although the other three all LOOKED like Superman, John Henry was the one who ACTED the most like Superman. What’s more, this first issue introduces us to John’s neighbor Rosie, the clairvoyant, who claims the Man of Steel is a “walk-in spirit,” the result of a soul whose body has been killed but who instead finds another body to inhabit. If that sounds ridiculous to you, keep in mind that this is part of a universe that includes Deadman and the Spectre. Although it didn’t turn out to be true, at the time the notion that Clark Kent’s spirit was somehow inside John Henry’s body was not something that we could safely rule out.
In Superman #78, the Cyborg makes his big splash, breaking into Cadmus to take Doomsday’s body. In order to prevent Westfield from attempting to clone the creature, he brings it into space and chains it to an asteroid, drifting – seemingly – aimlessly. The Cyborg then encounters Lois, who insists he visit Professor Hamilton for study. To everyone’s shock, Hamilton’s tests reveal that the Cyborg’s metallic parts are indeed Kryptonian, and his body is genetically identical to Superman. He is, to all appearances, Superman brought bac to life. The truth is that Hank Henshaw, in a computer consciousness, stole the Kryptonian Matrix that brought Kal-El to Earth as an infant, giving him the material to build a convincing body. He was also clever in that the parts of his body that were replaced with metal corresponded pretty well to the areas that seemed to suffer the most damage during the battle with Doomsday. This was the Superman that I remember finding the most plausible in that first month, for the aforementioned reasons. There is, however, one other clue that convinced me pretty well that turned out to be a cheat: in his internal monologue, the Cyborg looks at Doomsday and thinks, “They didn’t bother to wash MY blood off you.” That particular possessive pronoun makes no sense for anybody to use except Superman, and was one of the strongest arguments – among readers – for the Cyborg’s claim to the throne. It still doesn’t make sense that the Cyborg would think that way. That’s a little bit of narrative cheating that bugs me to this day.
Last, we get Adventures of Superman #501, the introduction of the Metropolis Kid. The lad who would one day be Superboy comes to town saving joggers, fighting crime, and proving just how arrogant a super-powered 15-year-old would be. He’s upfront from the beginning, though, telling the world that he’s Superman’s clone, although this would later turn out to only be part of the story, and that story itself would change more than once before it settled on its current status quo. Of the four Supermen, this was the one that I never once thought could be “our” Superman brought back to life…however, that didn’t necessarily mean he wasn’t “real.” After all, if Rosie was right about John Henry’s body containing Superman’s soul, he would need somewhere to go, right? Some comic book science aging the Kid could have made a perfect vessel to contain it, had the story gone in that direction.
I’m remembering the fun of this storyline now. For the last 30 years, any time I’ve read these comics again it’s been with that perspective of knowing the ending. While I can’t throw that lens away, I’ve kinda rediscovered the way I looked at the stories at the time, trying to measure all the possibilities…and that’s a fun way to read these.
Fri. March 7
The “telescope” is literally a giant horseshoe magnet. Trust me, this image is cooler.
Animated Short:The Magnetic Telescope (1942)
Notes: Unsure if I can get in any reading time today, I decided to squeeze in the next Fleischer short while I have a chance. In this one, a scientist (I’ll let you decide for yourself if there should be a “mad” in there) invents a telescope with an enormous magnet attached, with the intention of drawing celestial bodies closer to Earth for further examination. The problem with this, of course, is that he is DRAWING CELESTIAL BODIES CLOSER TO EARTH. It doesn’t help when the police shut down his machine, cutting off the power after he’s already pulled a comet towards Metropolis and robbing him of the ability to send it back. Superman, naturally, is going to have to get in there and save the day. The short is pretty standard, with the usual gorgeous animation and a story that is fairly predictable. The most interesting thing, I think, is the lack of common sense displayed not only by the scientist, but by Clark Kent, who is taking a TAXI to the observatory after Lois calls in to report the catastrophe. It isn’t until the cab gets stopped by falling meteor chunks that Clark decides to switch to his costume and fly there. Why is he wasting money on a cab in the first place?
Sat. March 8
Comics: Superman: The Man of Steel Annual #2, Action Comics #688, Superman: The Man of Steel #23, Superman Vol. 2 #79, Adventures of Superman #502
It was the 90s, you see, there was nothing more important than “Edge.”
Notes: The tricky part of reading the “Reign of the Supermen” and related comics is going to be working in the annuals. As they don’t carry the “Triangle” numbers the way the regular issues do, I’m going to cycle them into the reading order as close as I can figure to when they were released, relative to the other comics, and that means I’ll be starting with Superman: The Man of Steel Annual #2. Now in 1993, DC’s summer annual event was a story called Bloodlines, in which a group of aliens came to Earth to feed on humans. Some of the humans they attacked, however, didn’t die, but instead had their metagene awakened, giving them superpowers. The result was that each annual this year introduced a new superhero or villain. Some of them were pretty cool, others were kind of lame, and the only one who had any real lasting impact was Hitman. Edge, for instance, the character that John Henry Irons meets in this issue, hasn’t made an appearance since 1995. It’s pretty tertiary to the ongoing story, with the biggest contribution being that it shows how the Man of Steel is becoming accepted in the neighborhood.
They’re fighting over who has the better hairstyle.
Moving back to the regular issues, we’d entered an interesting time. Although the Triangle Numbers and weekly serialization continued, each of the four would-be Supermen had their own plots and stories that lasted for the first couple of months of “Reign” before the Cyborg played his hand and tied the four titles together again for the rest of the run. In Action #688, for instance, we see a confrontation between the Eradicator and Guy Gardner. In a move that’s surprisingly touching, Gardner is outraged to see four people wearing Superman’s symbol, having gained a new respect for Superman following the Doomsday battle. Guy sets out to put a stop to them, but when he sees how brutal the Eradicator is with criminals, he decides that maybe this fellow IS the Superman Metropolis needs. Ah well, it was fun while it lasted.
These two, on the other hand, are fighting over who has the goofier nickname on the cover.
Man of Steel #23 then gives us the first encounter between two of the would-be Supermen, Steel and Superboy. The kid makes a mistake that costs a Daily Planet helicopter pilot his life, and John Henry takes him to task for it, but considering that the weapon that dealt the killing blow was of his design, he grows into being more understanding. This is also the issue in which he meets Lois, who feels the same way about John as I always have – this is the only one of the pretenders who seems to have Clark’s spirit. In retrospect, I wonder if Lois’s endorsement was the reason I gravitated so strongly to John Henry, not only then, but in all the years since as well.
Schwarzenegger briefly considered copying this image for his Gubernatorial posters, but decided it was too low-key.
Superman #79 is told through a newspaper column written by Ron Troupe, who is trying to show himself worthy of replacing the (believed to be dead) Clark Kent at the Daily Planet. Perry White challenges him to bring in a story so big that he proves he deserves the job, and it’s hard to argue the SCALE of the story he brings in. Troupe lucks into being on the scene as the Cyborg thwarts a presidential assassination attempt, and in the process, uses a genetic scanner that seems to confirm that he is, in fact, the true Superman. There are two things about this issue that stick with me. First, although I don’t think I realized it at the time, it’s impressive how Dan Jurgens worked so hard to stay away from delving into the Cyborg’s life when he wasn’t in front of the public, and avoided giving us a glimpse into his thoughts (after that misstep in the previous issue). The other thing that stands out to me is that so many, so SO many comic book writers don’t have the slightest idea what a news article is supposed to read like. Even if I accept Ron’s writing as a column rather than a proper news article, the fact that he himself uses the genetic scanner on Superman makes the whole thing a gargantuan conflict of interests. I recognize the irony here, as Clark obviously made his career by writing about himself, but at least he tried to HIDE it.
All we need is Krypto! (Actually, there’s a version of him in this issue.)
Rounding out month two of “Reign,” in Adventures of Superman #502, Lex Luthor tries to lure Superboy away from WGBS by having Supergirl prance around in front of him in a slinky dress. I wish I was making that part up. But the kid sticks with WGBS when Vinnie Edge presents him with a new manager who also happens to have a teenage daughter…all while the kid is crushing on WGBS reporter Tana Moon. It’s odd, when these books came out I was roughly the same age as the kid is mentally, and I don’t remember being bothered by just how openly he’s manipulated through sex appeal. I suppose it’s the perspective of maturity, or whatever the hell you call it when you apply that particular characteristic to me. This issue is also the first in the “Reign” era to end on a cliffhanger, as Edge hires a villain called Stinger to attack the kid, and winds up blowing up a bridge, leaving Superboy and Supergirl shocked and unable to do anything because they’re out of pages! Man, I hope they figure out a way out of this in Action #689.
Sun., March 9
Comics: Superman Annual #5, Action Comics #689, Superman: The Man of Steel #24
“Myriad!” is Latin for “character who has made one appearance in the last 30 years.”
Notes: We’ve got another Bloodlines crossover for you this time. Unusually for this particular crossover, though, it actually picks up on threads from the ongoing comic book. Back in issue Superman #77, Lex Luthor murdered his martial arts instructor, partially because she embarrassed him in training, but mostly to prove he could still get away with it now that Superman was dead. In Superman Annual #5, one of the aliens gobbling up people left and right finds her discarded body in a landfill and makes her into a quick snack, inadvertently activating her metagene and resurrecting her. She wakes up with no memory of her life, but soon finds she can absorb the memories and personality of anyone she comes into contact with, and even control them. She clashes with Luthor and the Cyborg (which I suppose is appropriate, as it was technically his book at the time) before absorbing the memory and personality of one of Luthor’s assassins and vanishes. Myriad’s future, after the Bloodlines crossover, wasn’t much better than Edge. She popped up in an issue of Action Comics a few months later, then – as far as I can tell – nothing until a surprise appearance in a Batman one-shot, Legends of Gotham, in 2023. But you know, I’ve often believed that even the least-interesting characters can be made fascinating if you give them to the right writer and put them into the right story. Who knows? Maybe Myriad could have a comeback some day. At the very least, the next two newbies we’re going to meet stuck around a little bit longer than the first two.
This is exactly the way my brother watches March Madness.
Action Comics #689 picks up immediately after Adventures #502, and this is the point where the four books begin to really intertwine again. As Superboy and Supergirl rescue the victims of the bridge collapse, in the Fortress of Solitude a man crawls from the machinery that has been recharging him. At the time, it was intended to appear as though this was the Last Son of Krypton (aka the Eradicator) having rested up, but in retrospect, this was the issue where the real Superman actually came back, although we wouldn’t know it for some time. The Eradicator had taken his body from the tomb and was using it as a sort of power source in the Fortress, but in so doing, the machinery resurrected him, a process which – at the end of the storyline – they made damn sure to insist would never work again. Except that they kinda did it again years later when Superboy died. Ah well, who’s counting? Anyway, also in this issue we see Steel face off with the Eradicator over the latter’s more lethal techniques, something Steel vehemently opposes, once more proving that if any of these four EVER had a claim to the S-shield, it was John Henry Irons. Oh yeah, and Mongul is guiding a vast warship through outer space on a trajectory to Earth in order to exact his revenge on Superman. That couldn’t possibly be bad, though, right?
They were REALLY trying hard to make “Iron John” stick, weren’t they?
Man of Steel #24 follows this up as Steel and the Eradicator’s fight brings them to Coast City, California. Steel tries to convince the Kryptonian that his brutality is unbecoming of a Superman and, surprisingly, the Eradicator actually takes his words to heart. He promises to leave Metropolis to Steel, while he tackles injustice out on the west coast, a decision that would prove to be really, really unfortunate for an awful lot of people. The rest of the issue is concerned with John’s return to Metropolis and a battle with the White Rabbit, the source of the Toastmaster weapons plaguing the city and who also happens to be John’s ex. This issue – as well as most of the “Reign” issues – also briefly checks in with Lois, who is still struggling with Clark’s loss. As much as I like this storyline, I don’t care for how little of Lois we see. I get it – they need to tell the story of the four wannabes and, frankly, there isn’t too much to DO with Lois other than show her skepticism. Still, she’s as important to these books as Clark himself, and when she only shows up on two or three pages in an issue, I miss her.
Notes: I’m going to break with my effort to read the annuals in release order because I realized that, after this point, the Eradicator (at least in this form) doesn’t return to Metropolis for the remainder of the “Reign of the Supermen” storyline, however his Bloodlines annual is set in Metropolis, so even though it came out after, it must take place BEFORE the issues I’ve already read. Being a nerd is fun.
Note: nothing even remotely like this happens in the issue.
Anyway, Action Comics Annual #5 introduces us to Loose Cannon. Eddie Walker is a former Metropolis Special Crimes Unit officer whose reckless behavior (they always called him a “Loose Cannon” – GET IT???) leaves him partially crippled in an encounter with a metahuman perp. Maggie Sawyer calls him back into service to investigate the murders that are being carried out by the alien visitors , and he winds up becoming their next victim. Now, by night, he turns into a seven foot tall bruiser with blue skin that changes to different colors depending on his mood, because they had to make him at least a LITTLE different than the Hulk. He and the Eradicator throw down with the aliens, but they escape because the crossover was only halfway finished at this point. Loose Cannon fared slightly better than previous two “new bloods” we’ve read about, getting his own miniseries and sporadic appearances in the years since, but he’s never gonna be an A-lister. Not that this really sets him apart from the rest of the Bloodlines characters.
Superman #80 is where “Reign” REALLY takes a turn. Mongul’s warship arrives on Earth and heads to Green Lantern’s home of Coast City, which is conveniently where the Last Son of Krypton is currently operating. The Cyborg sweeps in to “investigate,” and riiiiight up until this point, you might still be thinking he’s the real Superman. Right up until the page where he blasts the Eradicator in the back and tells him, “You’ll be blamed for the deaths of millions.”
Oh. So HE’S the bad guy.
Three pages later, Mongul’s ship detonates 77,000 individual explosive devices, annihilating Coast City and murdering the seven million people who call it home.
I cannot stress this enough, the Cyborg really IS the bad guy.
The explosion reduces the Eradicator to his energy form and he retreats to the Fortress of Solitude, where again we get one of those fake-out scenes of “someone” piloting a Kryptonian mech, implied to be the Eradicator, but whom we who have read this story before know is our boy Clark. The issue ends with a wonderfully ominous page of Mongul kissing the Cyborg’s hand as he declares that Metropolis is his next target.
This issue was probably a bigger shocker back in the day than the actual death of Superman was. I mean, we all knew that Superman was going to die. It was on the NEWS. But nobody leaked word that Coast City – home of Hal Jordan and one of the more established fictional cities in the DCU after Metropolis and Gotham – was going to be wiped off the map. This wasn’t just something huge for the Superman books, it was going to have radical consequences for Green Lantern, which in turn would have consequences for the Justice League titles, Guy Gardner’s book, Flash…it was the beginning of a domino chain that reverberated for years. Even now, looking at the current status quo of the Green Lantern corner of the DC Universe, where Parallax is an entity that powers the Yellow Lanterns and each color has its own such entity…this is the book that led to the stories that led to that particular status quo years later. You have to wonder if, in that Superman retreat where the writers were trying to figure out what to do since Warner Bros made them delay the wedding of Lois and Clark because of the Dean Cain/Teri Hatcher TV show, they had any inkling of just how big the consequences of someone joking “Let’s just kill him!” would be.
Cyborg is really just envious of the leather jacket.
The Cyborg’s plot continues in Adventures of Superman #503. Having taken care of the Last Son of Krypton, he requests that Superboy be sent to the remains of Coast City to “assist” him, really planning to eliminate another of his rivals. He takes the Kid down fairly quickly, but not before making a grave mistake – talking about having powers like the Kid “when I was your age” on the WGBS news feed. Back in Metropolis, Lois hears this and knows for certain he’s an imposter – in this continuity, Clark’s powers hadn’t fully developed yet when he was 15. The real Superman, meanwhile, stumbles from the Fortress in his Kryptonian mech and begins the march back to civilization, and the Kid shows the first glimpse of the power that will later be called “tactile telekinesis,” further evidence that he is NOT – as Paul Westfield at Cadmus claimed – simply a clone of Superman. Without belaboring the point, because I don’t think it actually is clarified until after the “Reign” story ends, we eventually learn that Cadmus couldn’t totally crack Superman’s genetic code, so they manipulated a clone to LOOK like him and used what information they COULD get to give him similar – but different – powers. Years later Geoff Johns came in and further retconned the origins to its current status quo: Superboy is a clone whose DNA is a mix of Superman and Lex Luthor. But they co-parent like champs.
Tues., March 11
TV Episode: Justice League Unlimited Season 2, Episode 3: “The Doomsday Sanction”
“Okay, tell me when this starts to hurt…”
Notes: I didn’t have any reading time today, guys, and by the time I finally had a chance to sit down I was kind of exhausted. As much as I love reading, sometimes your brain just isn’t in that place, you know? So instead, I decided to dip into the excellent Justice League Unlimited cartoon to check out an episode centering around our old pal Doomsday.
Written by the late, great Dwayne McDuffie, this episode starts with Batman popping into Amanda Waller’s shower in a hell of a power move, confronting her over her activities with Project: Cadmus, which in the DCAU is a project dedicated to creating weapons capable of defeating the Justice League, including clones. One of the Cadmus doctors, Dr. Milo, is told his research is going to be defunded. Angry at being cut off, he goes to the cell where Doomsday is being held and tells the creature that he is an altered clone of Superman who was trained to hate the Man of Steel by Waller and Emil Hamilton, and it’s the two of them who should be his REAL target. Doomsday doesn’t care WHY he hates Superman, though, just that he does, and after dispatching Dr. Milo, he sets out, confronting Superman on a volcanic island the League is trying to evacuate. As the battle rages, Cadmus’s General Eiling sends a missile with a Kryptonite warhead to destroy both Superman AND Doomsday, not caring what it will do to the inhabitants of the island where the battle takes place…an attack that even Waller realizes is going too far. Batman stops the missiles while still over open ocean and Superman stops Doomsday by chucking him into the volcano. The League takes Doomsday into custody, and Superman exiles him to the Phantom Zone. That action doesn’t sit right with the recovering Batman, though, causing him to fear that maybe Cadmus has a point.
This was such a fantastic series. McDuffie’s handling of the characters was amazing, and the way he and the other writers pieced together all the different nuggets of the different DC heroes into a cohesive whole that made sense for this universe is nothing short of astonishing. They never did a real “adaptation” of the Death of Superman storyline, but they found interesting uses for Doomsday nonetheless. It’s a very different TYPE of Doomsday, I must say. He’s not a mindless beast – he’s intelligent and at least relatively verbose, able to exchange taunts with Superman and tell him he’ll live to regret exiling him before they send him off to the Zone. He is also clearly far less powerful than the Doomsday from the comics. Superman’s fight with him wasn’t EASY, don’t get me wrong, but considering that the only way he could be stopped in the comics was by the two of them killing each other, the fact that a mere volcanic eruption seems a little less impressive. Even more so the fact that he is held prisoner – both by Cadmus and by the League – with relatively little difficulty…this is a different Doomsday than the one who kills Superman in the comics. But for this world, for this universe, for a Saturday morning Cartoon Network series that was ostensibly aimed at children, it’s not a bad fit at all.
If there’s one thing I don’t like about this episode – this series as a whole, to be honest – it’s placing Emil Hamilton on the side of Waller’s Cadmus mad scientists. Hamilton is one of those characters from “my” Superman era – the good-hearted and sometimes absentminded scientist who, after making one mistake which Superman stopped before it could go TOO far, turned into one of Superman’s greatest allies. In the comics they eventually gave him a heel turn as well, and that’s something that has never sat right with me in all the years since. It’s been well over a decade since he’s made more than a token appearance anywhere, and honestly, I’m not even sure what his status even is anymore, vis-a-vis his relationship to Superman, after all the years of reboots both hard and soft. But they always say that comics are cyclical – it’s probably only a matter of time before somebody who loves Emil Hamilton the way I do steps into the shoes of writing Superman and finds a way to rehabilitate him and bring him back. At least, I sincerely hope so.
It’s time once again, my friends, for “Blake’s Five Favorites,” that Geek Punditry mini-feature where I talk about five of my personal favorite examples of whatever tickles my fancy on that particular week. These lists are neither objective nor comprehensive – they are based purely on what gives me the most joy to talk about on the day that I write the list. The list may be different if you ask me again tomorrow. This is the way my brain works. But for today, I want to tell you guys all about five of my favorite movies that have been tackled by the good people at RiffTrax.
Oh yes, my friends. We are, indeed, talkin’ RiffTrax.
A quick history, in case you don’t know what RiffTrax is. Back in the late 1980s, a group of comedians from Minnesota brought the world the gem that is Mystery Science Theater 3000, a series that showcased classically bad movies while the performers (some in puppet form) cracked jokes about them. This wasn’t a new idea, of course. People have been making fun of bad movies for probably as long as movies have existed. But these guys were really good at it, really funny, and MST3K lasted for many years across many networks and even their own feature film before fading away in the late 90s. In 2007, MST3K alumni Michael Nelson started RiffTrax, a new platform where he and various guests would continue the movie-riffing treatment. Originally, RiffTrax focused mostly on commentary tracks that viewers could synch to major motion pictures like Iron Man, but over time the focus on big movies dwindled as they gravitated more towards the older, low-budget fare that had been the lifeblood of MST3K. They still do the occasional big movie, but most of their output these days are on older films they can buy the rights to. Nelson was joined by fellow MST3K performers Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy, and the three of them have been the lifeblood of the company ever since.
What I love about RiffTrax, and MST3K as well, is not just that it’s funny. It is, of course, there would be no point to the exercise if they weren’t funny. But I’m impressed in the way they can recontextualize movies, turn them into time capsules of the era in which they were made, or wring gold out of the most baffling creative choices. And not for nothing, when you’ve been hearing these three guys cracking wise for upwards of 30 years now, there’s a comfort to it. It really is – as the old MST3K commercials used to claim – “like watching cheesy movies with three of your funniest friends.” So here are my five favorite RiffTrax features. This does not include the many, many shorts that they’ve riffed, nor any of the “RiffTrax Presents” films, which feature other riffers than the main three (although I’ve grown to be a huge fan of the Bridget Nelson/Mary Jo Pehl riffs, and I could easily do a Five Favorites just for them). When I’m looking for a laugh and I want a classic riff, these are five that I turn to time and again, in no particular order.
The Apple
Somewhere, Jason Biggs is salivating…
This amazingly ill-conceived musical from 1980, released by the legendary Cannon Films, was a sort of science fiction take on the Garden of Eden story. The movie is set in the distant future of 1994, and just to make sure you don’t forget it, they remind you about 20,000 times in the opening number. It’s almost as persistent a message as the fact that Bim – whoever the hell Bim is – is in fact “on the way.” The plot, such as it is, follows a young woman who sacrifices her true love for a musical career that seems to spiral her downwards into a world of sin and debauchery. The greatest sin, though, is probably the costume choices.
A great Rifftrax movie is one where you can tell the guys are having fun making fun of it – on occasion they’ll even include them laughing at one another’s jokes in the track. This is one of those movies where you get a sense early on that they’re enjoying the cheese in front of them, and The Apple serves up a veritable buffet of dairy products. It’s the kind of movie that makes you not only question the filmmaker’s choices, but makes you wonder what ever made anybody think it was a good idea in the first place. It is, in short, a gold mine of riffing.
Cool As Ice
It’s like having your eyeballs violently assaulted by 1991.
Remember the 90s? Don’t worry, this movie will make damn sure that you do. In 1991 Vanilla Ice – kids, he was actually a musical performer of some sort – released this film that is to motion pictures what New Coke was to soda. Ice “plays” a…honestly, I’m not really sure who the hell he’s supposed to be, but he rides with his buddies into a small town where they have to rent rooms while one of them gets their motorcycle fixed. He ends up getting involved with a local honors student whose dad was in the witness protection program and who winds up on TV during the slowest news day in a century.
Cool As Ice is what you would get if Mad Libs were a movie. There are a few plot points that seem to have been pulled randomly out of a hat, with a script hastily assembled by some intern desperate to find a way to link these various points into something resembling a narrative while, at the same time, providing several excuses to showcase a Vanilla Ice song somewhere along the path. Nobody in the movie behaves in a way that is recognizable as a sane human being, and the Rifftrax guys are eager to point that out, as well as spend several moments trying to reconcile the fact that this movie has the same cinematographer as Schindler’s List.
Super Mario Bros.
This is literally the most game-accurate shot in the entire movie.
No, not the recent The Super Mario Bros. Movie that came out in 2023. We’re going back to the first Super Mario Bros. movie, the live-action film from 1993 that Bob Hoskins referred to as the greatest regret of his entire career. Hoskins and John Leguizamo are Mario and Luigi, transported to another universe that in virtually no way resembles the colorful, exciting world that fans of the video games have loved for decades. Instead we get a sort of bland, cliched dystopia where Dennis Hopper (of all people) as King Koopa is ruling with an iron fist. If you have ever wondered what would happen if somebody did a lot of cocaine and tried to make a version of 1984 with video game characters, the result might be something like this.
This is the kind of movie that you watch and wonder how anybody involved actually agreed to be in this thing. Hoskins, remember, had recently had his star blown up by Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Dennis Hopper was already a legend. Leguizamo was a popular up-and-comer, and yet for some reason they all agreed to be in this film. Much of the meat of the riffing here comes from the incomprehensible disparity between the film and the video game that it was ostensibly adapting, and the utter confusion we get from these guys is what makes it so much fun.
Birdemic: Shock and Terror
Can you imagine how humiliating it must be to get killed by something with such few JPEGs?
There are actually TWO versions of Birdemic available on the RiffTrax site, the studio edition and the RiffTrax Live version, performed on stage in front of an audience and then broadcast to theaters all over the continent via Fathom Events. I love the RiffTrax Live films, and on those rare occasions when I get to go to one these days, there’s nothing like being in a theater full of RiffTrax fans enjoying the show together. There’s a certain energy that comes with the live shows that the studio versions – enjoyable as they are – just don’t have. If you’ve never had a chance to go to a RiffTrax Live screening, the next one is going to be Timecop, scheduled for this August, so try to pencil it into your calendar now. In the meantime, several of the previous ones are available on RiffTrax.com.
Anyway, Birdemic is director James Nguyen’s 2010 “thriller” about an invasion of birds. Killer birds. Just attacking people for no reason. Nguyen is an unrepentant copier of Alfred Hitchcock (his earlier film Replica is an attempted sci-fi ripoff of Vertigo) and he calls this a “tribute” to The Birds, minus any degree of tension, quality, believable effects, or anything resembling entertainment. In fact, the birds themselves (which look like they were lifted from a mid-90s Windows screensaver) don’t even show up until the halfway point of the movie. The first half of the film is a weak attempt at a love story between a woman whose face betrays the fact that she signed the contract to make this movie before reading a script and what appears to be a mannequin being controlled by some sort of inner mechanism, perhaps powered by rodents on a wheel. Watching this movie without Mike, Bill, and Kevin cracking wise about it is difficult. I tried it only once, with a group of my own funny friends, and it was only our own relentless mockery that made it survivable. Watch it twice.
Fun in Balloon Land
For the kids.
The last thing I want to point out about RiffTrax is how they will find movies that you never would have known existed were it not for them, and then bring you along as they descend into madness trying to make sense of them. Fun in Balloon Land is such a feature. Released to two theaters in Davenport, Iowa in 1965 (that sounds like a joke but it’s the truth), this “film” features a child being read a bedtime story and then having a dream, probably heavily influenced by mushrooms, about a huge empty warehouse full of hideous balloon figures and people in disturbing costumes, intercut with scenes of more balloons in what appears to be a Thanksgiving parade.
There are other RiffTrax movies that appear to have been made mostly for advertising purposes. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny was somehow supposed to entice people to visit a now-defunct Florida theme park, while the Jim Carrey-starring Copper Mountain was an unapologetic plug for the Club Med resort. But making and releasing a feature film to promote a giant balloon company, something that the average human being will never have any reason to patronize, is one of the strangest decisions in all of cinematic history. The film itself is disjointed and bizarre, with a narrator that sounds as if she’s describing all the events on screen under duress. Listening to the riffs, you hear the guys get increasingly more confused as the film goes on, until the end when they, too, sound as though they’ve been driven to the brink of insanity. This movie has become a Thanksgiving staple for me.
There are many, many other RiffTrax movies I could have mentioned, of course. They’ve done classics like Night of the Living Dead and House on Haunted Hill, obscure superhero flicks like Supersonic Man, holiday clunkers like I Believe in Santa Claus and literally hundreds more. If you’re new to RiffTrax, though, these five are great movies to get you started. Check them out and join in the fun.
Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. Dammit, he forgot all about Rollergator! And Santa’s Summer House! And To Catch a Yeti! And…
As I have said many times, the golden age of Superman comics – for me at least – was the late 80s and early 90s, the period we now wax nostalgically for as the “Triangle Era.” I could honestly have just spent this year reading John Byrne’s Man of Steel miniseries (that’s still coming – at some point I’m going to do an “origins” week) and then continuing on until the triangles ended ‘round about 2000 or so. But instead, I made a list of some of the most important stories and high points of the time and, those that don’t necessarily fit into another theme I have planned, I’m trying to hit in roughly chronological order. And as of now, I’m only planning to read two of the longer storylines from the era (although I reserve the right to add more later if I feel I’ve got the room), and having moved forward appropriately in the timeline, it’s time to get into one of the defining storylines of the character.
It’s October of 1992. I’m a 10th grade student with a subscription to the four Superman comics, eagerly awaiting their arrival each week and getting pretty darn mad when the US Postal service delivers them out of order (which happened, I must tell you, more than once). And even though I knew it was coming, even though it had been bandied about on TV and in newspapers for weeks prior to the beginning of the story, I didn’t know if I was really prepared for the story that — at the time – was called “Doomsday,” but that these days we typically refer to as “The Death of Superman.”
This was pretty much all I thought about for two months in the fall of 1992.
Wed., Feb. 26
Comics:Superman: The Man of Steel #18, Justice League America #69, Superman Vol. 2 #74, Adventures of Superman #497, Action Comics #684, Superman: The Man of Steel #19, Superman Vol. 2 #75
Notes: After a month of one-page prologues, the creature who would be known as Doomsday burst free from his subterranean prison in Man of Steel #18, and spends this issue stomping through the countryside, ripping up landscape and crushing animals before finding civilization. But the surprising thing, if you’re reading this for the first time, may be that Doomsday is the B-plot of this first issue. Most of the pages are used to deal with a running story from this particular series regarding a community of monsters in Metropolis’s underground. In the 90s, although the four separate Superman comics of the era continued into one another each week, each series tended to have its own subplots and stories to focus on, including the Underworlders. This issue also features Keith, an orphan who has befriended Superman and hopes to find his lost mother, and who would eventually be adopted by Perry and Alice White.
I really love the Keith sequences in particular. The creative team on this book of Louise Simonson and Jon Bogdanove had previously done a wonderful run together on Marvel’s Power Pack, a comic book about a group of brothers and sisters who are all given powers by a benevolent alien. It was one of Marvel’s best comics of the era, and whenever Simonson writes children she brings a really authentic feel to them. Her children are inexperienced and naive at times, but never stupid or foolish. There is an inherent realism to her kids that I absolutely love. Keith was out of focus in the comics for a very long time, and with all the reboots that have happened over the years I wasn’t even sure he still existed in the DCU until recently, when Perry White was running for mayor and Keith showed up at an event with him. I hope, now that Perry is the mayor of Metropolis, we see a little more of Keith White.
Next up was what essentially was the end of Superman’s tenure with the Justice League, which had begun only nine issues before. The JLA is called in to stop Doomsday’s rampage, but Superman is on live TV doing an interview on the Cat Grant show and unaware of their battle, leaving his teammates to face the beast without their most powerful member. As Superman talks to a group of high school students, the League – if we’re being candid – gets their asses handed to them. Guy Gardner is hurt, Bloodwynd is chucked into a fire, and Blue Beetle is rendered comatose just as he was about to crack the mystery of who Bloodwynd really is. (If you remember a few weeks ago from the Justice League issues I read, that was Beetle’s primary preoccupation in this period, and if I may toot my own horn a mite, I remember solving that mystery myself when I read this issue, using the same clue that made it click for Blue Beetle. It wasn’t confirmed in the comics for several months, though.) The fight is intense, and rolls right into the next issue of Superman, #74.
In fact, this was a running theme through the rest of this storyline. Each issue from this point on flowed seamlessly into the next and, starting with Adventures of Superman #497, each issue began to reduce the number of panels per page. Every page in that issue had four panels, the next three, then two, and in the final chapter the entire issue is told in full-page splash panels. What this does, essentially, is give the story a sense of ACCELERATION. Fewer panels means the story goes more quickly, each issue faster than the last, until we get to the final showdown on the streets of Metropolis in Superman #75.
Superman #74: Superman joins the League to take on Doomsday. In the battle, Booster’s power suit is destroyed, Fire burns out her powers, Guy Gardner’s face is swollen so badly he can’t see, and Ice and Bloodwynd are taken down. The only one to escape unscathed is Maxima, and only because she leaves early to bring the near-death Blue Beetle to a hospital.
Adventures of Superman #497: When Superman has to go back to rescue a family and his teammates from the house Doomsday destroyed in the previous issue, he gets a head start and starts creating havoc, taking down military helicopters and smashing into a small town before Superman can catch up to him. Supergirl (the Matrix version) sees the destruction on TV and wants to help, but her boyfriend Lex Luthor Jr. (long story, just read the Wikipedia explanation) holds her back. Maxima returns but is taken out in short order, and Superman vows to defeat the beast alone.
Action Comics #684: The fight with Doomsday crashes into a department store, where a TV ad for an upcoming pro wrestling match at the Metropolis Area causes the beast to take notice of his destination: “Mhh-Trr-Plss…” A road sign that matches the advertisement points him towards Superman’s city as the Daily Planet helicopter – carrying Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen – arrives to report on the carnage. The battle destroys an abandoned territory called Habitat, but the creature escapes and bounds towards Metropolis.
What it feels like being a teacher the week before a holiday.
Superman: The Man of Steel #19: Doomsday arrives in Metropolis. Cameras broadcast the battle across the world, including Smallville, where the Kents watch their son’s battle for his life on television. Supergirl finally is sent to help, but one blow from Doomsday disrupts her synthetic body and takes her out. Emil Hamilton and Bibbo (perhaps the greatest supporting character ever) bring a laser cannon to the roof to try to help, but to no avail. The Metropolis Special Crimes Unit open fire with everything they have, but they don’t even chip his hide. And in the end, Superman vows to draw the line in Metropolis.
When I read this story in high school, this issue was a great fight scene, sure, but like so many things it hits different for me now, as a parent. It seems quite telling to me that most people, like Jimmy, have the attitude that he’ll be OKAY. He’s SUPERMAN. He always comes out of it okay. But his parents, Jonathan and Martha, voice the fears of parents: “They don’t think anything bad can really happen to him.” The implication, obviously, is that the Jimmys of the world are wrong…and wrong he is.
Superman #75: The end.
I remember distinctly the day this issue arrived in the mail. I got home from school before either of my parents got home from work, before the school bus dropped off my younger brother and sister, and I found this issue sitting in the mailbox. I brought it into the house, didn’t turn on the TV, didn’t even turn on the lights. The window in the living room gave me all the sunlight I needed as I slit open the plastic bag and opened the pages to witness the end of Earth’s greatest hero in quiet and solitude.
The story is swift, as befits an issue where every page is a single panel. Superman and Doomsday tear through Metropolis, trading blows until finally, with one last all-powerful punch, each of them collapse on the street. Lois rushes to his side and cradles him, his last words asking if Doomsday is defeated, his last thought for the city he was trying to protect, before the light fades from his eyes.
Yeah, I will admit, I cried when I read that. I still get misty today, even knowing that this was just the beginning of a much longer storyline it still hits like a kick to the gut. And even in 1992, when this was released, nobody really believed that Superman would stay dead. It was a story, and at the end of the story the status quo would be restored. That’s how these things went.
It didn’t make it hurt any less.
This BROKE me.
And that’s what makes it one of the all-time great comic book epics, that I can read it again today and still feel that pang of loss I had when I was 15 years old.
Man, this is a heavy way to start the week.
Thur., Feb. 27
When I woke up this morning, I went through my usual routine of showering, dressing, getting together a lunch for work, and then popping online for a few minutes until it was time to leave. Usually I want to see what the weather is going to be, if there’s any traffic snarls I should be aware of, that sort of thing.
I did not expect to begin the day with the news of the death of Gene Hackman.
1930-2025
Hackman, of course, was a legendary actor, known for countless roles in dozens of classic films, but to me (and, I suspect, most people around my age) he is indelibly linked to the role of Lex Luthor. His Luthor was smooth, slimy, cheerfully manipulative and yet prone to brief outbursts of rage when faced with incompetence, which makes you wonder why he so often surrounded himself with incompetence. As much as Christopher Reeve shaped our perception of Superman and Margot Kidder our Lois Lane, so too did Gene Hackman shape our Lex Luthor.
As of when I write this, Thursday morning, the news is reporting that Hackman, his wife, and their dog were all found dead in their home in Arizona. Although foul play is not suspected, no cause of death has been determined. It goes without saying that my heart goes out to their families, those who knew and loved them personally. But also, it feels like a moment to raise a glass in tribute as another little piece of our childhood has left us forever. And at my age, it feels like we lose one of those pieces every other day.
RIP, Mr. Hackman. See you in Otisburg.
Comics: Death of Superman 30th Anniversary Special #1
Ah yes, “Death,” the traditional 30th anniversary theme.
Notes: Am I going a little out of order? Absolutely. But it feels more appropriate to read this now than to do so chronologically. In 2022, DC released this special with new stories by the same writers and artists behind the original Death of Superman event, followed up the next year with a special for the 30th anniversary of his return. I’ll get to that one too.
In the first story, Lois and Clark’s son Jon (still 10 years old, this is set before the Bendis aging controversy) in school when a familiar survivor of the Doomsday attack comes to talk to his class. This, as it turns out, is the first time Jon learns that his father died before Jon was born. I love this story – Lois’s talk with Jon is a nice sort of postmortem for everybody who read that story back when it was first published, encapsulating the feeling and emotion of the day while maintaining a bit of hope for the future. But as if that weren’t enough, we get a hell of a fight scene as well, as a construction worker who kept a chunk of Doomsday’s shattered bone all these years is suddenly transformed into a new version of the monster. The battle scene in the streets of Metropolis is pretty epic, and shows that Dan Jurgens hasn’t lost a step. It could have been published in 1992 and fit right in. It just makes it feel like more and more of a crime that he was bumped from Action Comics after issue #1000 when the status quo was upended. DC, I plead with you, find some way to have Jurgens writing and drawing Superman regularly again, preferably doing stories of Lois, Clark, and Jon in the past, like this one.
We also get three more stories, the first reuniting Adventures of Superman creators Jerry Ordway and Tom Grummett for a focus on Jonathan and Martha Kent. In the original “Death of Superman” we saw glimpses of the two of them watching the fight on TV. This story expands upon that, as they talk about some of the dark places and brutal battles their son had been in over the years. It’s a pretty good recap of the ‘86-’92 era of Superman through the eyes of the people who made Clark Kent the hero that he is. Martha’s Superman scrapbook is legendary, but this issue takes that concept one step further, showing the invisible impact Superman has on the world. It’s a really nice look at the character from a different angle.
The third story brings back Roger Stern and Butch Guice, then the creative team on Action Comics, for a story starring Guardian at Project Cadmus, which was one of their ongoing subplot. The story shows the events of the day of Superman’s death from Guardian’s perspective, and although it doesn’t really offer any new insight into the story, it’s really great to see Guardian, Dubbilex, Dan Turpin, and some of the characters that were so important to the books at the time.
Finally, Man of Steel creators Louise Simonson and Jon Bogdanove return for a story about John Henry Irons, the man who will be Steel, and what happened to him during the Doomsday rampage. Having recently been saved from falling to his death by Superman, John Henry is determined to help him fight Doomsday, but as he follows the path of destruction, he find himself stopping at one disaster after another, pausing to save other people even as Superman fights for his life. This is why I love John Henry as a character so much – out of the four “new” Supermen that rose after his death, he was always the one who most embodied the spirit of Superman. With no powers, no weapons, without even the armor he would soon build, John Henry risks his life again and again to save others. And that’s what a Superman is for.
Fri., Feb. 28
Legitimately some of the best stories of the era.
Comics:Justice League America #70, Adventures of Superman #498, Action Comics #685, Superman: The Man of Steel #20, Superman Vol. 2 #76, Adventures of Superman #499, Action Comics #686, Superman: The Man of Steel #21, Superman Vol. 2 #77
Notes: Although I can’t recall quite where, I remember reading an interview once with the creators behind the Death of Superman saga where one of them (probably Dan Jurgens) said that the stories that they were really interested in telling, the ones they found most compelling, were those from the “Funeral For a Friend” storyline. How does the world cope with the loss of Superman? How do we move on? How do we choose to honor his memory? The Doomsday story was a necessity to get them to that point, the “Reign of the Supermen” was the necessity to bring him back, but these stories are the heart of the saga.
Justice League America #70 picks up moments after the end of the battle with Doomsday, picking up the same dialogue – even the same narration – from the final pages of Superman #75. (And let’s hear it for Dan Jurgens, getting paid to write the same pages twice. Nice trick, sir!) The League is in a shambles: Blue Beetle comatose, Fire’s powers burned out and not returning, Ice injured, and Booster Gold’s future technology completely destroyed. As they try to pick up the pieces, the rest of the DCU’s heroes begin to assemble at JLA headquarters in New York to pay their respects to the fallen hero. It’s a touching book, with words of deep mourning and emotion that fit the grim day. For all intents and purposes, this was the end of Superman’s tenure with the League until it was restructured a few years later by Grant Morrison, but for what it was and when it was, this was a suitable ending.
Adventures of Superman #498 also picks up on the heels of Superman #75, showing the efforts to resuscitate the Man of Steel, and the ultimate futility of the attempt. This issue takes us everywhere: Supergirl tries to pull herself back together, Gangbuster is angry at himself for not being there, and in Smallville Jonathan and Martha Kent cling to one another and pray for a miracle. Somehow, even now, the thing that hits me hardest is the scene of Bibbo strapping on one of Professor Hamilton’s force field belts so he can withstand the jolt as he tried to hit Superman with hyper-charged defibrillator paddles. Bibbo is just one of those characters that’s too wholesome for the world – a big, gruff bruiser with the brains of a kid and the heart of a prince. The inherent goodness in him, in a man that the world would have cast aside, is what makes him such a perfect member of the Superman supporting cast. He’s another one we don’t see nearly enough nowadays.
Action Comics #685 picks up that evening, as a Daily Planet extra edition announces the news no one wants to hear: “SUPERMAN–DEAD: METROPOLIS MARVEL KILLED IN ACTION.” Paul Westfield and Project: Cadmus get into a fight with Guardian and Supergirl over the right to claim the body, while everywhere else we see the world beginning to mourn. Meanwhile, at the Daily Planet, people are starting to worry about Lois. In the wake of the fight with Doomsday, thousands of people are missing – and one of them is her fiancé, Clark Kent. When they say that this is the section of the story the creators were most interesting in telling, this is the issue that I always come back to. The final page is one of the single most affecting pages I’ve ever read in a comic book, as Bibbo – having cleared out his bar so he can be alone – gets down on one knee, says a “Hail Mary,” and prays…not for Superman, but for the protection of the world he left behind.
If this page doesn’t rip at your heart I’m not sure how to talk to you.
Superman: The Man of Steel #20 gives us the funeral. On a rainy day in Metropolis, millions of people line the streets to watch the processional as his body is brought to a hastily-erected monument in Centennial Park. In Kansas, meanwhile, the Kents hold a solemn, quiet ceremony of their own. Again, this issue shows us the impact of Superman on the world – people recalling the times he saved them, Batman deciding to take care of a guy with a bomb “Superman’s way,” and so on. We also get more of those Simonson-written kids that I like so much.
In issue #76 of Superman, it’s Christmas! Doesn’t quite feel that way, though, with Superman gone. So in his memory the Justice League and a few others gather in Metropolis to carry out one of Superman’s annual traditions – reading and answering letters from people in need. This is a great issue, a sequel to an earlier story where we saw how Superman spends Christmas, and which I’ll no doubt read and write about this December. We also get a pair of subplots: Jimmy Olsen and Bibbo help out Mitch Anderson, the kid whose house Doomsday destroyed, and the Kents come to Metropolis with Lana Lang to hold a private wake with Lois, as four of the only people who knew who Superman really was.
After this issue the stories take a turn. The immediate aftermath of his death and the period of mourning over, the story now becomes the struggle over his remains. In Adventures #499 we see that Westfield – defeated on the day Superman died – has burrowed into his tomb to steal his body for genetic experimentation. Action Comics #686 shows us that Cadmus is hoping to clone Superman, a storyline that obviously would become prominent later. Superman: The Man of Steel #21 takes us back to Smallville, where Jonathan’s memories of his lost son become overwhelming. In Metropolis, flooding helps Lois uncover the theft of Superman’s body, and takes the story to the front page. Finally, in Superman #77, after Supergirl and Lois recover Superman’s body and put it back where it belongs, Lex Luthor II (Lex pretending to be his own son) takes a moment to gloat in the tomb. In Smallville, though, Jonathan has been rushed to the hospital after collapsing in his field. After an issue of memories of his son, “Funeral For a Friend” ends with a chilling flatline.
The second half of “Funeral For a Friend” isn’t bad at all, but it’s there largely for setup. It plants a lot of seeds that would bear fruit in the upcoming “Reign” storyline. For pure emotional impact, the first half is one tearjerker after another, with a few more coming in the final two issues as Jonathan’s personal grief overtakes him. I know I say this a lot, but reading these issues as a parent makes them far, far more powerful than they were when I was a kid. As painful as it is to see Superman fall, seeing the utter devastation to the father who helped shape him into the hero he is may be the most heartbreaking part of the entire saga.
Other Comics: Justice League of America #17, New Adventures of Superboy #32
Sat. March 1
Animated Film: The Death of Superman (2018)
Notes: Everywhere else, it’s just Saturday, but here in Louisiana it’s the weekend before Mardi Gras. And while I’m not a particularly enthusiastic paradegoer, my son is, and as such I make the effort to take him. Today was the Krewe of Lul parade, a nice little family-friendly small-town parade local to my community, and even better, I’ve got a cousin who lives on the parade route and always invites us to watch the parade there. It was a great day, and someone on one of the floats threw my son a ridiculously large stuffed snake, which my wife doesn’t yet know about as she had to work today, and I cannot WAIT to see her face when she gets home.
It’s got nothing to do with Superman, but c’mon, LOOK at this thing.
Parades are a little exhausting, though, especially when it’s hot outside, and I’m still a little too sun-dazzled to want to read anything today. So my Year of Superman continues at the moment with the 2018 The Death of Superman animated movie. This was actually the second attempt at animating the story, but as the first condensed the entire trilogy into one film rather than splitting it into two like this one, I’m waiting until after I finish reading the whole thing before I rewatch it. It’ll come soon enough.
Clearly, this is traditional carnival viewing.
This film was made during the period of DC animation where the movies were all set in a single universe largely based on the New 52 incarnations of the characters. As such, the story is tweaked appropriately to make it fit: the Justice League that faces Doomsday is that incarnation of the team rather than the Jurgens-era lineup, for example. And while Lois and Clark weren’t a couple in the New 52 era, here they’re in the early stages of a budding romance. Lois wants to keep their relationship a secret from their coworkers at the Planet, she hasn’t met his parents yet, and – probably most importantly – she does not yet know the secret of his duel identity. Other changes aren’t necessarily New 52 related, but help to condense the story: Doomsday’s coming to Earth, for example, is connected to the disaster that kills Hank Henshaw’s crew and sets him on the path of villainy he’ll occupy in the next movie.
I’ve always been a fan of the voice cast here. It’s a little bit of stunt casting, placing real-life husband and wife Jerry O’Connell and Rebecca Romijn as Clark and Lois, but I like them both in their assigned roles. Rainn Wilson, meanwhile, is a deliciously wicked Lex Luthor, and Patrick Fabian has always sort of straddled the line between clean-cut and white collar crook, which somehow fits Hank Henshaw very well. We also get Rosario Dawson as a highly convincing Wonder Woman and Nathan Fillion as Hal Jordan, the Green Lantern that a lot of us thought he should have played in live action (although I have every confidence he’ll nail Guy Gardner).
Pictured: First Officers Jack Ransom of the USS Cerritos and Una Chin-Riley of the USS Enterprise. (Colorized)
There’s a considerable amount of buildup here – it’s almost halfway into the movie before Doomsday’s rampage begins – but I think it’s necessary. This movie leans more heavily on the developing Lois/Clark romance, and that buildup is focused largely on that. We see Clark agonizing over whether to tell her his secret, Diana berating him for not telling Lois who he really is yet, even asking for advice from the soon-to-be-married Barry Allen about his relationship with Iris. That buildup to what should be the happiest moment of their lives, the engagement (and the reveal of the secret) is well-done, and thus when the battle with Doomsday begins and the inevitable happens, the whole thing feels even more tragic. The reveal is handled well too – I love the fact that Lois’s first reaction, once the shock wears off, is “This is so unethical! You’ve been writing stories about yourself!” The emotional resonance echoes after the battle too, as we see the Kents unable to get close to their son’s funeral, then see Bibbo’s beautiful prayer sequence recontextualized into a montage over the city in mourning.
The animation isn’t my favorite, to be honest. The characters are a bit too blocky, and they’re using the New 52-era designs, which means excessive lines EVERYWHERE, and Superman’s suit is too dark and kind of bland. But once we finally get to the fight with Doomsday it’s brutal and pretty epic. The killing blow is actually far more graphic than I expected, with Superman actually hitting Doomsday hard enough to make his head spin around, and it doesn’t look “cartoony” at all.
Also, Bibbo is in this movie. So, y’know, I like it.
Sun. March 2
Comics: Superman Vol. 6 #23, Justice League Unlimited Vol. 2 #4, Power Girl Vol. 3 #18
But certainly, Doomsday must have mellowed out in the last 30 years, right?
Notes: I’m taking a quick break from the Death and Return saga to check in on this week’s new Superman-related titles. First up: Superman Vol. 6 #23, the latest in Joshua Williamson and Dan Mora’s ongoing saga. Doomsday is now the Time Trapper, and his control over the timestream is giving Lois a chance to pause while the contemporary Doomsday and Radiant battle it out in Metropolis as the Superman family tries to hold the line. I like what Williamson is doing here, using the original Death of Superman storyline (so I guess I’m not TOTALLY taking a break) as the framework for this new story, and giving us a neat focus on the characters . There’s a great speech from Lois when she talks about how she wept on the day Superman died, and how her tears may not have been for exactly the reasons one may have expected. It’s not a retcon, but rather a subtle recontextualization of the moment that I think actually works really well. And as usual, Dan Mora is killing it. I can’t say enough good things about his artwork. Over the past few years he’s become probably my favorite current artist in comics, and he’s earning his place on the Superman Mt. Rushmore with the likes of Curt Swan, John Byrne, and Dan Jurgens.
I’m not done with Mora yet, though – he also drew this week’s Justice League Unlimited Vol. 2 #4, this time teamed up with writer Mark Waid. The terrorist group called Inferno is unleashing havoc all over the world, with global fires crippling the Martian Manhunter and perhaps even killing Swamp Thing. In response, Mr. Terrific tries to recruit Alec Holland’s daughter Tefe, while Batman sees to the fallen J’onn J’onzz. Superman’s actual participation in this issue is minimal, appearing in just a few panels helping with the evacuation efforts from the wildfires while the big brains and the magic users try to solve the problem, but that’s actually one of the reasons I like this book so much. Waid has really stacked the deck by including virtually every hero in the DCU. It would be really tempting to still spend most of the time with the Big Guns, but Waid has done a great job crafting a story that allows for the lesser-known characters to rise to the front lines instead of Superman and Wonder Woman to be the A-team every single issue. It may be tangential to my “Year of Superman,” but it’s still maybe the best book DC is publishing right now.
Last but not least, Power Girl Vol. 3 18 continues Leah Williams and David Baldeon’s tale of the housewarming from hell. The grand opening celebration for the new Star building, complete with a bunch of guests from Asgard, is disrupted when a strange barrier traps everyone inside. Superman and Steel (John Henry) try to crack it open from the outside, while inside, Power Girl, Omen, and Steel (Natasha) attempt to get to the bottom of their predicament. This is an issue that feels very much like a middle chapter, incomplete and with a lot of questions. In and of itself, there’s nothing wrong with that, but I don’t know if they structure the story quite enough to get us started before the story begins. We kick it off with the barrier already in place, then after several pages, flash back to how we got there. I don’t object to in medias res, but I don’t know if it really works well for this issue. Hopefully the next chapter of this particular story will clarify things a bit.
Mon., March 3
Comics: Legacy of Superman #1, Supergirl/Team Luthor Special #1
Notes: After the conclusion of the “Funeral For a Friend” storyline, DC took the rather bold – for the time – step of ceasing publication of the four Superman titles for a few months. They resumed in the spring with Adventures of Superman #500, and I have to give them credit for not doing what they would do today – namely, restart each series with a new first issue. Actually, in the gap they would have published four separate miniseries for the four Supermen who took his place, THEN restarted each series with a new first issue. But I digress. In the gap, they published a few specials about what was happening in Metropolis in the wake of the Death of Superman
Don’t get too attached to that kid in the upper right-hand corner.
Legacy of Superman includes five short stories about different defenders of Metropolis. First was a Guardian story, set during the time before Lois and Supergirl retrieved Superman’s body from Cadmus, about their efforts to map Kryptonian DNA. As several of the characters wrestled with the ethics of the situation, we are introduced to the hyper-advanced Guardian clone called Auron, a character who, as I recall, seemed like he was going to be more important that he eventually turned out to be. Next was a story that brought back the old character(s) Rose and Thorn. Rose Forrest is secretly the vigilante called Thorn – a secret that even she herself does not know. It’s what at the time was called Multiple Personality Disorder, or at least a comic book-level understanding of it. With Superman dead, crime in Metropolis is on the rise, and Thorn comes back to help out. It’s a perfectly fine story, but other than reintroducing Thorn, it’s not particularly significant. Of more significance is the Gangbuster story. The longtime Superman supporting cast member is trying to step up and fill his shoes, but the fight against Metropolis’s criminals is getting harder on him, wearing him down, and making him more brutal. Story number four features Sinbad, a young boy with telekinetic powers who had appeared in a three-issue storyline a few years prior. This story, like the issues that introduced him, was by the creative team of William Messner-Loeb and Curt Swan, and I’m pretty sure it’s the last time the character ever appeared.
The last story features Waverider, and for reasons I cannot fathom, it is not included in the DC Universe Infinite edition of this comic book. I swear that app seems less and less Infinite all the time. Fortunately, I’ve got the week off work and I’ve got the issue in my collection. Waverider (from the Armageddon 2001 storyline) has at this point joined the Linear Men (from the Time and Time Again storyline) and, upon learning of Superman’s death, is determined to use their time travel powers to save him. That is until their leader, Matthew Ryder (an alternate-timeline variant of Waverider himself) starts listing people whose contributions to history could have been greater had they lived longer and asking where they drew the line. It’s a good argument, but I’ve always wondered why Dan Jurgens didn’t take it a step further to the logical conclusion – that manipulating time for your own ends is as dangerous as the enemies to the timestream you fight, and that doing so (even with good intentions) has rarely ended well.
Laugh if you want, but do YOU have hair that magnificent?
The Supergirl/Team Luthor Special has two stories. The first, by Roger Stern and June Brigman, focuses on Supergirl and “Lex Luthor II”’s private police force stepping up to help fight crime in Metropolis, similar to some of the stories in the previous volume. Louise Simonson writes the second story, where Supergirl encounters some of the Underworlders whose story has been one of the major plots in Superman: The Man of Steel. Both of these stories, while perfectly fine, seemed somewhat insignificant at the time. With the benefit of hindsight, though, I see that they were planting seeds for stories that would play out in the next Supergirl miniseries and the accompanying Superman titles featuring the collapse of Project: Cadmus, the fall of the Underworld, and the end of Luthor’s charade – stories that, I’m fairly certain, wouldn’t be published for nearly a year. They plotted things REALLY well, those Triangle Era Superman writers.
Did Jimmy win a Pulitzer for this photo, or am I just imagining things?
Notes: In addition to the two one-shot comics published during the Superman Gap, DC also released a one-off edition of Newstime, a fictional news magazine that Clark Kent worked for briefly in the comics. The magazine, featuring a “photograph” on the cover taken by Jimmy Olsen as Superman lay dying, is a sort of defictionalized artifact of a news magazine from the DC Universe, giving us in the real world a glimpse into how the DCU reacted to Superman’s death. There are, as expected, news articles written about the battle with Doomsday, the reaction of the world to Superman’s death, and the chaos that the Justice League was left in with Superman dead and so many of their members injured or powerless. The magazine fits really nicely in with the comics, with bits updating the status of some of the celebrities that were reported missing in the comic books after Doomsday’s rampage. Baseball player Hank “The Hammer” Halloran, you’ll be happy to note, survived the attack, but comedian and actor Morty Beckman died in a collapsing building. Daily Planet reporter and former Newstime editor-in-chief Clark Kent is still among the missing.
Other things in the magazine are somewhat odd, like the article featuring quotes from assorted famous people about the death of Superman. Many of them are DC characters like Bruce Wayne, Lex Luthor II, Wonder Woman, and so on. Others, though, are from real-world figures, and they don’t all seem to be written from an in-universe perspective. A quote from William Shatner tells about how he used to dress as Superman when he was a child, Penn Jillette comments that Superman will have to die a few more times before he’ll be impressed, and John Goodman regales us with a bizarre story of his own personal encounter with Mr. Mxyzptlk following Superman’s death. I’m forced to wonder if some of these are legitimate comments they got from these people. After all, Superman’s death is one of the few comic book stories (especially back then) that made the major news cycles.
The book finishes off with a few pages of fake movie and music reviews and lots of fake ads, and I have to give the DC crew credit for how well it’s all put together. Except for the fact that the “photos” are mostly panels taken from the comics, this looks and feel like a real news magazine, albeit much thinner than most of them. And just in case anyone thought that they’d let a book like this go without any foreshadowing, there’s a two-page ad early in the book that was meaningless when the magazine was originally published, but became quite jarring in hindsight just a few months later.
😬
There’s one last thing I wanted to read from the “Death of Superman” era before we begin with the return tomorrow, and that’s this special Wizard Magazine tribute edition. I was a big fan of Wizard in its early years and was a subscriber for quite a long time. Eventually I got rid of all my old issues, a move which I now deeply regret, especially in the case of those few issues in which they published letters I wrote. But I held on to this Superman special, a nice little package released after the Death storyline but before the return really wrapped up. I haven’t read it in many years, though, and it’s interesting to go back and look at what the contents include.
Do you think anyone in comics has drawn versions of the same scene as many times as Dan Jurgens has this one?
There’s a piece by legendary Superman artist Curt Swan about his time with the character, to start. Jack Curtain provides a fairly comprehensive (although somewhat cynical) history of Superman, while Joel W. Tscherne gives us a good piece of the history of the post-Crisis Superman to date. Reading this article again, I’m jarred to realize that more time has passed for the most recent incarnation of Superman (the one we’ve had since DC Rebirth sort of merged the 90s Superman with the New 52 version) than had passed between John Byrne’s Man of Steel and the Doomsday story. Good grief, somebody get Waverider in here to make time slow down.
We get a retrospective on great Superman artists throughout history, a piece that is dying for a contemporary update to include all the greats who have worked on the character since then (including Stuart Immonen, Barry Kitson, Ron Frenz, Jim Lee, Ed McGuinness, Tim Sale, Frank Quitely, Alex Ross, Patrick Gleason, Jamal Campbell, and my current favorite Dan Mora – and that’s just off the top of my head). Next is a look ahead at the return of Superman, including interviews with the creators, especially Jerry Ordway, who ended his tenure as a Superman writer with Adventures of Superman #500. Then the writers for “Reign of the Supermen” talk about the four characters we’re going to meet very soon. Action Comics’s Roger Stern says that their Superman will be more “Kryptonian,” but cautions us that it’s not going to be someone trying to turn Earth INTO Krypton, like in the Eradicator storyline. Stern, you cheeky monkey. Ordway’s successor Karl Kesel talks about how Adventures of Superman will give us a more “modern” Superboy (he didn’t like being called that) who ties himself to WGBS, a TV station, rather than a stodgy old newspaper. Dan Jurgens talks a bit about the Cyborg Superman, although to me the part of this section that stands out is where he discusses Lois’s skepticism. Good for you, Lois. And Louise Simonson talks about John Henry Irons, even giving a lot of backstory about his family that I don’t know has ever been explored very much in the comic books, which is a shame.
There’s a lot more in here, including a piece from Elliot S! Maggin about Superman as a pop icon, Andy Mangels talking about Superman’s history on TV and in film, and lots of other articles about various pieces of Superman’s history. I’ve gotten psyched to go back and read more of these, and I probably will in the coming weeks, but hopefully the stuff I’ve talked about will give you the impetus to dust off your copy (or find one on eBay) to go back and revisit this interesting time capsule of who and what Superman was in those months between his death and his return.
When you teach the same subject for long enough, there are certain topics and certain lessons you start to look forward to. One of my favorite things to cover with my 12th grade English students, for example, is Hamlet, and I particularly look forward to the famous “To be or not to be” scene. I always start by telling the kids that this is the big one, the grande supreme enchilada, the most famous speech that Willie Shakes ever wrote which, by proxy, also makes it one of the most famous speeches ever written in the entire history of the English language. Then I look at the kid who has already volunteered to read the speech out loud and say, “No pressure.”
Here’s a level three nerd joke. Ahem: “Took him 900 years to get this part right.”
After we read and discuss the speech together, I show them clips of several different film versions of Hamlet. We talk about how different actors play the role, how the different settings change their interpretation of the scene, and fun English class stuff like that. The most entertaining version – to me, at least – is when we watch Ethan Hawke’s depiction of the scene from 2000. In this version, director Michael Almereyda has changed the setting to the modern day (or at least, what was modern in 2000) and has Hamlet deliver this speech wandering the Action Movies section of a Blockbuster Video store. But I’m showing this to contemporary high school students. Even the oldest of them wasn’t born until 2007, and the vast majority of them have no idea what they’re looking at. Popular guesses include a gas station, a convenience store, and a bookstore. The ones that DO recognize Blockbuster Video, I assume, do so because they’ve seen Captain Marvel.
The weird thing is, after updating the setting, they kept the headgear 100 percent historically accurate.
It’s funny to me, to see the cultural disconnect between the film and the modern audience. No doubt Almereyda intended to make the movie contemporary, but in choosing that particular setting, this film feels even more dated than a traditional version of Hamlet set in the 7th century. And the percentage of my students who know where Hawke is before I explain it gets smaller with each passing year. These are kids who have never – and WILL never – browse the video section of a store.
And as entertaining as the lesson usually is, the fact that this is an artifact of times gone by makes me a little sadder each year.
I grew up in the 80s. I was in high school and college in the 90s. The peak of Video Store Culture is intertwined with the most important developmental years of my life. I remember as a kid, my parents taking us down to the video store and letting us roam the aisles looking for movies to watch. My younger brother and sister would gravitate towards the kids’ movies, and while they would pour over the shelves trying to make their own decisions, I found myself drifting to sections of the store I knew my parents would NEVER allow us to rent from, especially the horror section. Ghoulish monsters, blood dripping down faces, whatever the hell was going on with the box art for The Stuff…I was mesmerized.
9-year-old me would have TRADED my brother to find out what was going on here.
VHS box art of the 1980s was a unique art form that has no peer in the history of pop culture, save perhaps for paperback book covers of the same era. Great box art could make even the lamest, cheesiest low-budget schlockfest seem tempting. But my folks weren’t the sort who would allow a 9-year-old kid to rent something like Creepshow no matter HOW enticing the box art was. So those movies found a home in my psyche only in poster form, which is how they remained until I was old enough to rent them and watch them myself. At which point – let’s be honest – I discovered that a great many of those movies were better as box art than they ever were as films. But that was okay.
As I got older and went to video stores myself, I would gravitate to all kinds of movies, devouring things that I’d been curious about for years but had never been able to indulge in before. Not just horror, but classic sci-fi, old comedies, or indie darlings I’d heard good things about like Magnolia. It didn’t hurt that around the time I graduated college, my best friend Jason became the manager – and eventually owner – of the video store I most often patronized, so I got to sample an awful lot of movies for free. And as culture shifted from VHS to DVD, I went from being simply a viewer to a collector. I would go to Best Buy, Circuit City, Borders, or Barnes and Noble and spend hours walking through the shelves, examining the DVD cases, trying to find old favorites to add to my shelf or new movies I’d never heard of that were worth a watch. I could do this alone, but it was more fun to do it with Jason or our other friends. Either way, though, there was a tangibility to holding those cases in my hands, reading the description on the back, studying the list of special features to see if there was a good making-of featurette or commentary track that would be worth listening to or – of course – admiring the cover art.
This is a pleasure that has largely been lost to us. Netflix slaughtered the video store in its sleep, and of those retail stores I mentioned the only one that both still exists and has a physical media section at all is Barnes and Noble, and it’s nowhere near what it used to be. And while I know that we always lose certain cultural elements as time passes and culture evolves, this is one of those changes that has hurt not only the people who make these movies, but the consumers who watch them as well.
It’s the streaming era I’m talking about, of course. That’s what killed the video store, that’s what has DVD and Blu-Ray sales on life support. (Thank God for horror movie fans, one of the last stalwart groups to demand physical media for their preferred art form. They’re the ones keeping the whole thing alive right now.) Sure, the convenience of streaming can’t be beat. I don’t need to go down to the video store anymore. I don’t need to HOPE that the movie I want to watch will be available. I don’t have to take the risk that I’ll get a disc with a scratch that has rendered it unplayable, and never again will I need to double-check that I’ve rewound a tape before I return it.
Was there anything worse than opening the DVD case at home and seeing THIS?
But this same convenience has made the entire movie-watching experience feel more disposable, like it doesn’t matter anymore. If I went down to Jason’s video store hoping to rent Scream 2 only to find that it had already been rented, that’s when I would look for something different and discover movies that I may otherwise have never watched, like Amelie. With streaming, you just have to hope that the movie you want is on a service you subscribe to, and if it is, there’s no need to roam.
But even if the movie you want ISN’T on your service, or even if you don’t know what you want to watch, the browsing experience isn’t the same. In a store, looking at a movie case, you had the opportunity to pick it up, read the back, gaze at that beautiful, beautiful cover art. Today, every movie is reduced not to art, but to a thumbnail. Most of the time it’s a still shot from the movie, probably a close-up of the biggest star in the film, with the title superimposed on top of it. It’s bland, lifeless. Just as the greatest box art could make me watch the worst movies, so can a cookie-cutter thumbnail cause me to scroll right past one of the best movies of the year, and I’ll never know.
We’ve lost the community aspect as well. For people like me, TALKING about the movie after I’ve watched it is just as vital a part of the experience as actually watching it. Discussing what we liked, what we didn’t like, what did we think the sequel would be like, should there even be a sequel at all? At the video store, you can chat with other customers. “What are you getting? Oh, I’ve seen that one, that’s great. Say, I really liked From Dusk ‘Till Dawn but I’m not sure what to watch next. Any suggestions?” Sure, the streaming services TRY to do this, but I would take the suggestion of a random film geek in a video store over the Netflix algorithm every second of my life, and it wouldn’t even be a struggle.
Netflix has “We think you’ll love these.” Your local video store had “Vinnie’s picks.” Nobody ever saw Vinnie. No one knew who he was. But Vinnie introduced you to Boondock Saints and you LOVED him for it.
And with this, the respect given to a movie by the audience is being cut down. I know a lot of people who’ll stop a movie if they aren’t engaged in the first five minutes. And sure, that’s your prerogative, but there’s something to be said for a slow burn. Some movies need to be given time to get into the story, and sometimes that’s what makes it effective. In the video rental days, once we made it home with a movie we WATCHED the damn thing, no matter how bad the first five minutes were, because that was our only option. And I think we were better for it. I don’t want to tell you that you should sit around watching something you don’t like, but the disposability of entertainment has caused us to forget how to give a story a fair chance. I can spend twice as long scrolling through the options on Hulu than I ever did looking at the DVDs at Borders, but I’ll end up far less satisfied.
Then there’s the way movies are presented today. TVs have, for the most part, gotten substantially larger than they were when I was a kid. You would think that would make the viewing experience better, but somehow the opposite has happened. My students, my nieces and nephews, are more likely to watch a movie on their Chomebook, their tablet, or – worst of all – their PHONE. Not to say I’m not guilty of this at times – when my sports fanatic son is bound and determined to watch a lacrosse match between two colleges I’ve never heard of with an announcer who has all the life and energy of the sloth from Zootopia, minus the personality, I’m certainly not above pulling up an episode of Star Trek on my laptop. But it’s not my preferred method of watching anything, and the idea of watching an entire motion picture on a phone screen is giving me a migraine. But to kids today it’s common. I’ve had students tell me they’ve watched entire movies chopped up into two-minute segments and posted (in portrait mode for the love of God) to TikTok, a practice which I’m pretty sure is directly responsible for the sharp rise in instances of bird flu in the United States.
I took this picture myself just to illustrate my point and it STILL makes me want to punch me in the face.
The only thing that mitigates the sting for me is that I know I’m not alone. I have many friends – both in real life and on social media – who join me in bemoaning the decline of video store culture, and while there may not be enough of us to bring that culture BACK, it helps to know that other people feel the same way as you do. Coincidentally, on the same day this week my students were confused by the Blockbuster store in Hamlet, I listened to an episode of the Movie Crypt podcast in which filmmaker Alex Ross Perry discussed his new documentary Videoheaven, a “video essay” (in his own words) about the rise, influence, and fall of the video store told through clips of movies and TV shows featuring video stores. The movie is almost three hours long, he says, and frankly, it sounds amazing. I am very excited about this film and very anxious to get a chance to watch it.
I’ve never met Mr. Ross Perry, but just based on this poster, I suspect he’d be my kinda people.
Ironically, I’ll probably have to wait until it comes to streaming.
Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. Yes, he’s old. You wanna make somethin’ of it?
Week eight of my Year of Superman was another one that kind of went all over the place. I revisited a few classic stories, checked in on a couple of “imaginary” tales, and looked at some of the more recent releases as well…then there’s that Christmas podcast. Don’t worry, I make it make sense.
Wed., Feb. 19
Comics:Power Girl Vol. 3 #16-17
New costume! Ish!
Notes: After a busy day without much time to read, I went to my bag of recent comics that I haven’t gotten around to reading yet to see if there was any Superman-related content to include this week. Not surprisingly, there wasn’t much, but I found that I hadn’t yet read issues #16 and 17 of the current Power Girl series. This is a Superman family book, of course, but it comes to Superman via a sort of tangent. Power Girl (for those who may not know) was the Kara Zor-L of the old Earth-2, from the pre-Crisis DC Universe. She made her way to the current DCU, after various multiversal crises and reboots, and for years they’ve struggled a little to figure out exactly where she fits in. In essence, she’s an older version of Supergirl from an alternate reality – part of the family, but with trouble finding her identity.
Issue #16, the first of the two that I read, is the end of a recent storyline where Power Girl is facing someone called Ejecta. Ejecta, as a villain, hasn’t really grabbed me, but I do like the end of the fight where Power Girl takes her to the Fortress of Solitude and makes a point of what it takes for a Kryptonian like her to fight the good fight, that it’s actually harder NOT to kill their enemies. It’s a concept that makes so much logical sense, but doesn’t really come up all that often.
I like issue #17 better. It kicks off a new storyline, beginning with Power Girl and her best friend Lilith (aka Omen of the Titans) moving into a new place along with Natasha Irons, niece of my old buddy John Henry, who happens to share his Steel identity. Also on board is Streaky the Super-Cat and Power Girl’s boyfriend, Axel, who happens to be from Asgard. That would be a really weird sentence if I was writing about anything but a superhero universe, but there you go. While I’ve found this series to be somewhat uneven at points, I’ve enjoyed the way Leah Williams has assembled a solid supporting cast for Power Girl that feels pretty organic for the most part. I know why these characters are all together, and I like it.
The one thing I’m really NOT wild about is how Power Girl has abandoned her old identity of Karen Starr in favor of a new name, Paige Stetler, but call her Peej. Get it? “Peej?” P.G.? AAAAAH? I dunno, the book has never done a good job of convincing us that the switch was necessary or based on anything other than the internet not liking the name “Karen,” and the whole “P.G.” thing is just a bit too twee for my tastes.
Thur., Feb. 20
As birthday presents go, this is way better than a necktie.
Comic: Superman #411
Notes: Another busy day and another somewhat random choice, I decided to read the classic Superman #411 today. This is an odd little issue that I’ve always found rather charming. Perry White’s old friend, the incredible editor Julius Schwartz, is in trouble, and his only salvation may come from Earth-Prime.
Julie Schwartz was, of course, one of the most prominent comic book editors of all time, with runs on various books that lasted years and even decades, including a long tenure on the Superman comics. This comic was produced as a surprise for Schwartz on the occasion of his 70th birthday, created behind his back and released as a surprise, even splitting up a three-part storyline to do it. The story in and of itself is standard for the time, even if it was not – as promised – “The Last Earth-Prime” story, but I’ve always appreciated this comic for the backstory behind it.
Fri., Feb. 21
Comic: Action Comics #314, Superman #149
The most embarrassing dry cleaner mix-up in DC history.
Notes: When I was doing my research to prepare for “Superman Vs. the Flash” week, Action Comics #314 kept turning up in my searches. And although it didn’t really fit into the criteria of what I was looking for in that project, it was such a bizarre story that I kept it on my list of books to read when I’m looking for a random Superman comic, because it’s just so strange. And I LIKE strange.
First of all, despite the cover, this is NOT an issue about Superman ONLY becoming the Flash, but rather about alternate worlds in which he became five different members of the Justice League…sort of. While swimming around the bottom of the ocean – y’know, like you do – Aquaman uncovers a message for Superman sent to Earth from his father, Jor-El. On the recorded message (it’s interesting to note that the vastly advanced civilization of Krypton still used magnetic tape to record things) Jor-El tells his son that he originally considered several different worlds to send him to before choosing Earth, and presents him with a computer simulation of what his life would have been like on each of those five worlds. I’ll save you from the suspense: on these different worlds he would have grown up to be their versions of the Atom, Aquaman, Green Arrow, Batman, and finally, the Flash.
Each of these different lives has its charm, although I think my favorite has to be the first one, where he’s an Atom expy. In this version, Jor-El sent him to a planet of giants where he lived among them as what appears to be a three-inch visitor from another world. He’s still got powers, though, and he uses them to fight crime, wearing a mask. WEARING A MASK. SO THAT NO ONE WILL SUSPECT HE’S THE ONLY OTHER THREE-INCH PERSON ON THE PLANET. It’s such a hellaciously preposterous idea that it could only have worked in the Silver Age – and make no mistake, it worked. One person actually says, “He’s as small as Kal-El…but it can’t be Kal-El, for this one has terrific powers!”
For real.
This is a silly story, but a fun one. There was a point where DC did lots of stories like this, “what if X happened?”, with the conceit usually being that the heroes were told the stories of their other lives by computer simulations or some other means. (There was a whole series of stories about Dick Grayson growing up to become Batman II and taking Bruce Wayne Jr. as his Robin, which eventually turned out to be fanfiction written by Alfred.) Later these would become “imaginary” stories, and eventually the concept evolved into Elseworlds. If this story were told today, each of these different lives would be assigned a different number and said to take place somewhere in the DC Multiverse, and while I do like a good Multiverse story, there’s a charm about the old days, where the stories were a bit simpler. It does, however, give me a thirst to read more such tales. I think it’s safe to say that more Elseworlds and Imaginary Stories will be coming to the Year of Superman in the future.
The back-up story in this issue – as was usually the case at the time – starred Supergirl. Her Kryptonian parents, Zor-El and Allura, had been revealed at this point to be alive and sent to live in the bottled city of Kandor, but Allura is growing ill with heartbreak over the separation from her daughter. You’d think Kara could visit more often. Anyway, they send word of Allura’s condition to Kara, but she’s away on a mission and it is instead received by her foster parents, the Danvers, who decide that the only thing to do is make their adopted daughter decide to leave them and go back to her original parents in Kandor by acting like jerks.
WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY IN THE SILVER AGE JUST HAVE A CONVERSATION?
If you look at other stories from this time period, it’s not really that out of place. Watch virtually any comedy (and a good number of the dramas) from the 30s to the 50s and you see one cascade of misunderstandings after another, dozens of catastrophes that could have been averted and hearts that would have been left unbroken if only people were straightforward with one another instead of coming up with ridiculously convoluted schemes to manipulate their loved ones into doing things “for their own good.” I get WHY the stories were like this – a comic book where someone tells somebody the truth and the dilemma is resolved in a page and a half would be kind of boring. But I am very glad that – for the most part – we’ve moved beyond this kind of storytelling crutch. Ridiculous misunderstandings should remain the providence of Shakespeare and Fawlty Towers reruns. For anybody else, it’s just frustrating.
The story ends with Kara’s Earth parents and her Kryptonian parents swapping places, then a cliffhanger where we the readers are forced to question if this will be a permanent change. Once again, I’ll spare you the angst of wondering: it was not. Status quo was the king in comic books of the time, and permanent changes were as rare as diamond. Supergirl had already used hers up for the entire decade when she was adopted by the Danvers, putting an end to the stories of her life in Midvale Orphanage.
The weird thing is, this was covered by his insurance.
The main story, though, got me thinking about one of the two most famous “Imaginary” stories of all time…both of which, coincidentally, became “real” stories in the 90s (albeit in very different forms). Like I’ve said, I’ve pledged to read only two of the extended 90s storylines during this year, and the first of those is actually next on my list of 90s stories to revisit. So before I move on to the “real” Death of Superman, I thought today I would look back at the ORIGINAL Death of Superman, the “Imaginary Story” from Superman #149 in 1961.
The setup for this one is simplicity itself: prison inmate Lex Luthor discovers an element from outer space that allows him to invent a cure for cancer. Providing that cure to the world, he convinces everyone that he’s gone straight, including Superman. It’s all a ruse, though, and instead he sets up a trap for the Man of Steel. And for the first time, that trap succeeds, with Luthor slaying Superman with green kryptonite.
I’ve always liked this story and, revisiting it today, I’m struck by how unique it really is for Superman stories of the time. In an era where most stories were a bit silly and often overdramatic, this takes the opposite track. It still uses all the tropes of a Silver Age story, including misdirection and secrets kept when there’s really no reason to do so (Supergirl disguising herself as Superman for all of 12 seconds at the end, for example) but they’re put together in a somewhat bleak configuration. Unlike Marvel’s What If? comics, it was pretty rare for even DC’s imaginary stories to end in so dark a place. There’s no lie, no secret hidden from the audience, no last-minute reprieve that saves Superman: when this story ends he is most assuredly dead, and even though Luthor will spend the rest of eternity in the Phantom Zone for his crime, nothing is bringing him back. It’s unlike any other such story of the time, and that makes it remarkable.
Other Comics: World’s Finest Comics #304, Legion of Super-Heroes Vol. 2 #312 (Clark as Superboy)
Notes: It’s been a few weeks since I made it into the comic shop to pick up my pulls, so today I’m hitting the new Superman comics that have come out since then. Absolute Superman #4 is more of a spotlight issue on Lois Lane, who in this new Absolute Universe is an agent of Lazarus rather than a reporter, although she’s still got her investigative skills, as in this issue we see her tracking down the elusive “Superman.” Good issue, and I’ve really enjoyed the Absolute stuff so far. Action Comics #1083 continues the Major Distaster/Atomic Skull storyline from last issue, which still isn’t a favorite of mine, but I do really like the scenes where Superman wakes up in the Batcave, where Bruce has brought him to recuperate after a fight with someone who could negate his powers knocks him for a loop. Mostly, though, I’m really looking forward to Mark Waid taking over this book full time this summer, as was recently announced.
Speaking of Waid, he also writes Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #36. It’s a grand story set in the past, including a team-up with Aquaman and Swamp Thing, plus Clark’s old girlfriend, Lori Lemaris. Lotta LL names in Superman’s life. I should go back and read her first story soon, it’s a good one.
Sun. Feb. 23
Frankly, I don’t think he looks anything like Tom Cruise.
Comic: Superman: War of the Worlds #1
Notes: Still searching for random comics to fill in the gaps before I begin the next BIG project next week, my recent reading of “The Death of Superman” gave me a taste for more Elseworlds, and that led me back to this gem from 1998. Written by Roy Thomas with art by Michael Lark, Superman: War of the Worlds is a mashup of the original Golden Age Superman with the alien invaders from H.G. Welles’s classic novel.
Roy Thomas is probably the greatest Golden Age comic book writer who didn’t actually work in the Golden Age. But through his long and illustrious career, he turned out one story after another that paid tribute to that era, including DC’s All-Star Squadron and Marvel’s Invaders, among countless other projects. This one-shot is not only a quintessential Elseworlds, it’s also quintessential Thomas. The story plays out pretty much exactly like the Golden Age Superman we all know and love right up until the day he arrives in Metropolis and tries to land himself a job at the Daily Star (where Clark Kent originally worked before the Daily Planet became the home of our favorite reporters). On that same day, though, what is believed to be a meteor strike unleashes an invasion of tripod-piloting aliens from the planet Mars, here to devastate and take over our world.
Thomas simply does a perfect job of blending the two stories. The characters feel absolutely true to their Golden Age incarnations, while reacting to the story that adheres as closely to the Welles original as is practical. Lois Lane, for instance, is introduced when Clark gets to the Star, furious that the editor is about to give this newcomer off the street a chance at a major story while she’s been stuck scribbling a “Miss Lonelyhearts” type of column just because she’s a woman. Even in the Golden Age, Lois was someone who would always stand up for herself and never tolerate that kind of nonsense, and Thomas plays her up perfectly. I also really like the way they depict Lex Luthor, initially just a scientist investigating the alien meteor strike, but then turning collaborator when it seems that the aliens’ victory is inevitable.
Thomas layers in World War II parallels that fit perfectly with both of the properties that he marries in this book, and the end – although heartbreaking – is compelling and appropriate for the story being told. When we talk about Elseworlds, everybody points to books like Kingdom Come and Superman: Red Son, and with good reason. Those books are classics. But there are a lot of other gems that were produced as a result of that line that we don’t remember nearly as well, and that’s a shame. I’m definitely going to pepper the rest of this Year of Superman with visits to some of the ones that we’ve forgotten about.
Mon., Feb. 24
He’s a guy who refuses to kill. She’s an alien queen who refuses to do anything else.
Comics: Superman Vs. Aliens #1-3
Notes: A few days ago at ComicsPro, it was announced that Marvel and DC Comics are planning two new crossover one-shots later this year, DC/Marvel and Marvel/DC. Stale naming conventions aside, I’m excited. There hasn’t been any crossover between the two publishers since JLA/Avengers twenty years ago, except for the collected omnibi that were released last year. I finished up reading the first one early in January, although I didn’t talk about them much here in the blog, and the knowledge that there’s more coming makes me want to hurry up and pencil in the second omnibus into my reading rotation soon.
But not today. Today I decided to look at a different Superman crossover, one with Dark Horse Comics, back when they had the Aliens license and were pairing them off with everybody and their cousin, like Ocean Spray finding new flavors to mix with cranberry. Superman Vs. Aliens was the first such story featuring our own Man of Steel, and written as it was by Dan Jurgens, it fit into the Superman comics of the time better than a lot of these crossovers do. This is the era when Lex Luthor isn’t running LexCorp anymore, when Lois and Clark are engaged but not married yet, and when Supergirl was not a Kryptonian, but rather the Matrix shapeshifter from an alternate Earth.
The story kicks off when an alien probe plummets to Earth, a craft with markings that Superman recognizes as being Kryptonian. The probe leads Superman to a distant city floating through space under a dome. Once there, the distance from a yellow sun causes his powers to begin to dwindle, even as he finds himself partnered with one of the city’s few remaining survivors, a girl named Kara, as they face the menace of the Xenomorphs. The story was so deliberately reminiscent of the original Supergirl that it was almost as if Dan Jurgens and DC were trolling us, and for years after this book was released there were rumors that Kara would return to the regular Superman titles, but it never happened. As it turned out in the end, this Argo wasn’t actually a Kryptonian city after all, but from another planet which suffered a similar fate as Krypton and learned about its language and culture from the Cleric, a character from the earlier Exile storyline.
Jurgens finds a few ways to really make the story an interesting character piece for Superman. First of all, they need to reduce his powers to actually make the Xenomorphs a threat. Second, he treats Kara like long-lost family, and in a time where there were no other surviving Kryptonians in the DC Universe, it’s an impactful event, even if it only lasted for three issues. We’ve also got Dr. Kimble on the LexCorp station doing a darn good impression of Paul Reiser’s character from Aliens, while Xenomorphs are running wild on the station and Lois is trying to hold them off.
But I think the best thing about this story, the thing that really shows the contrast between the two franchises, is how heavily Jurgens leans on Superman’s no-killing policy. It was a policy he broke exactly once, in the pocket universe that Matrix originally came from, and doing so nearly destroyed him. (I’ll have to look at that story before this year is over.) Having him face off against the Xenomorphs is fun – they are literally killing machines. They have no function other than death, and historically speaking, the only way to stop them is to kill them FIRST. But Superman refuses to do that. If there’s even a chance that these creatures may be sentient, he refuses to use lethal force. Some people would call that naive, but it’s a fundamental element of the character, and it’s the thing that makes this so different from so many other Aliens stories where the focus is to nuke them all from orbit. (It’s the only way to be sure.)
I remember when this story came out, how excited I was for it, and although the status quo of Superman’s universe has changed a lot over the years, I’m glad to see that it still holds up.
Notes: A few years ago, my brother introduced me to the Totally Rad Christmas podcast, a podcast that is – in the words of host Gerry D – “about all things Christmas in the 80s.” However, Gerry isn’t particularly strict about that requirement. They often have episodes about Christmas movies and specials from outside of the 80s, as well as other things that Gerry associates with Christmas and just feels like waxing nostalgic. For instance, Superman was released on Dec. 15, 1978, and that’s enough to get it on the show. This episode was released back in 2020, but I’d never listened to it before, so this seemed like a good excuse to dust it off. Gerry and his guest for the episode, Tim Babb, discuss the film itself and – as is common for this podcast – their personal memories surrounding the film from childhood. As someone who has watched this movie countless times and who lives, eats, and breathes Superman, it’s actually nice to listen to a couple of guys who are FANS, but perhaps not the fanatic that I can be in my more eager moments. I don’t know if I would hunt this episode down as a Superman fan if I weren’t already a listener of this podcast, but as someone who’s already a fan, the overlap on this particular Venn Diagram is pleasing to me.
Tues., Feb. 25
Wait, WHY is Superman in the forest with a couple of kids?
Comic: Superman #257
Notes: Sometimes you just choose by cover. You scroll through the DC app, looking at the issues available and, for one reason or another, something jumps out at you. This one, for instance – Superman in the woods with two children. He’s calming them down, assuring him that there’s nobody around to harm them, but in a cutaway view underground we see a guy in armor with green skin and what looks like some sort of science fiction bazooka about to blast the ground right out from underneath him. They say you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, and that’s probably true, but a good one is sure as hell more likely to get you to pick it up.
The story in question isn’t quite as engaging. An alien has come to Earth hoping to steal our nitrogen using the “bazooka” from the cover – which he calls a war-horn – to create a variety of effects. Superman fights him, as per usual, but the alien’s military code refuses to allow him to concede defeat unless killed in battle. Superman winds up tricking the war-horn into leaving the planet by attempting to strike a fatal blow, which it automatically avoids and retreats, which to me seems antithetical to the whole military code aforementioned.
The main story isn’t great, but the back-up in this issue IS. The story begins on the planet Oa, home of the Green Lantern Corps, where Lantern Tomar-Re is about to retire from active duty and join the Corps’ honor guard. Before he does so, though, the Guardians must reconcile the one failure on his record. Fans have long asked why the Green Lanterns didn’t do something to prevent the destruction of Krypton, and this issue answers that question: Krypton was in Tomar-Re’s sector, and the then-rookie GL failed to stop the planet’s doom. Tomar was tasked with collecting a rare element that would delay (but not stop) Krypton’s destruction, but a burst of yellow radiation left him blind and unable to save the world in time. His sight was restored just in time to witness Krypton’s explosion. The Guardians had been watching Krypton for some time, suspecting that the offspring of their scientist Jor-El and his wife Lara would create someone exceptional, a “titan among the stars.” Now, years later, the existence of Superman has proven their suspicion correct, and Tomar’s failure is forgiven.
Man, can you imagine being so important that they decide your existence is more important than your entire planet? That’d be a lot to live up to. Fortunately, Superman doesn’t have an ego about this sort of thing.
Okay, I’ve waited long enough. Tomorrow I’m going to start the big one, the saga that defined this character for so many. Be back next week for my thoughts on – at least the first stages of – The Death and Return of Superman.
With Captain America: Brave New World currently in movie theaters, eyes of Marvel fans are turning to the next film from the studio, coming out in May, Thunderbolts*. Yes, that asterisk is part of the title. No, as it turns out, it isn’t actually important. But we’ll get to that later. Although they’re not exactly the Avengers (more on that later, too) the Thunderbolts have been bouncing around the Marvel Universe in one form or another for nearly 30 years, having first appeared in 1997. Despite the pedigree of having been around for such a long time, a lot of people don’t seem to quite understand who the Thunderbolts are, and honestly, you can’t blame them. If you look at their publishing history, it seems as though Marvel doesn’t really know who they are either.
Pictured: Even we don’t the hell know.
Let’s go into the history, shall we? It started in 1996, when the Marvel Universe came under attack by a villain named Onslaught. Powerful and ravenous, he started off fighting the X-Men before taking on virtually every superhero in the world and, when he was finally defeated, both the Avengers and Fantastic Four were killed in the battle. Or so it appeared, anyway – as it turned out, Franklin Richards saved them at the last second by shoving them onto an Alternate Earth, because things like that just happen in comic book universes sometimes. But the world at large BELIEVED that they were dead, and that was enough to cause serious chaos. With the Avengers and Fantastic Four gone, it was open season for villains, who saw an opportunity with the biggest, boldest heroes in the universe unavailable to thwart them.
Then the Thunderbolts appeared.
I’m confused, which one of these guys is played by David Harbour?
A brand new team of brand new heroes, paragons of courage who had never been seen before, burst on the scene and began cleaning up the town. The gigantic Atlas! Armored hero MACH-1! The cosmic-powered Meteorite! High-flying Songbird! The scientific wizard Techno! And their sword-wielding leader, holder of a mantle of a forgotten World War II hero, Citizen V! After an appearance in Incredible Hulk, the Thunderbolts slid into their own series, written by Kurt Busiek and drawn by Mark Bagley. I was – and still am – a huge fan of both Busiek and Bagley, and so I naturally was eager to read the book, but it was a little confusing before we got there. Who were these new characters? Why should we care about them? Did they REALLY think they were worthy of replacing the Avengers?
And then, at the end of the first issue, Busiek hit us with a curveball that comic books have not been able to duplicate since. Citizen V traded his heroic mask for another one, a purple one…he was really Baron Helmut Zemo, arch-enemy of Captain America, and each of the Thunderbolts was a member of his Masters of Evil in disguise. When the Avengers and FF vanished, they decided to masquerade as heroes and win over the public trust as part of Zemo’s plan for world domination.
There will never be a reveal this awesome again, and I blame Mark Zuckerberg for that.
And we, the readers, were FLOORED.
It’s so hard to imagine, in today’s landscape, how such a reveal could have been pulled off. All of the press leading up to this issue just talked about these great new heroes and how awesome they were and how cool it was going to be to have new stars in the Marvel Universe. Honestly, it felt like standard comic book hype, and were it not for the fact that I enjoyed the creative team so much, I probably wouldn’t have read the comic at all, which would have been a huge mistake because it turned out to be phenomenal. But such a magic trick simply couldn’t happen in the current landscape. If Marvel tried to tell this story today, three days before the issue was published you would have a headline on the site formerly known as Comic Book Resources, shared on Facebook, announcing something like “Ending of Thunderbolts #1 will shock Avengers fans!” with a thumbnail image of Citizen V wearing Zemo’s mask just to make sure that everything was good and thoroughly ruined before it could be read.
The modern media is so, so stupid.
Anyway, the Avengers and Fantastic Four eventually returned to the main Marvel Earth, forcing Zemo to accelerate his plans for conquest, but in the time when they pretended to be heroes something funny happened to many of the members of the Thunderbolts. They began to realize that it wasn’t such a bad thing that they got to WIN a fight once in a while instead of getting beaten up. They started to enjoy the cheers and applause of the hero-starved citizens of New York. They actually found satisfaction in helping people instead of committing crimes. And when Zemo took action, the rest of the team rebelled against him, deciding that they’d rather remain heroes than go back to their old lives of villainy.
From there, the book underwent the first of what would be countless shifts in status quo. Instead of the adventures of villains pretending to be heroes, it was now a book about former villains seeking redemption, and this is the golden age of the franchise. They tried to make good. They even were joined by Hawkeye, who left the Avengers to help them out. Hawkeye himself had begun his career as an adversary for Iron Man, and he credited Captain America giving him a chance to join the Avengers for turning his life around. He saw leading the Thunderbolts as an opportunity to pay it forward. And so the book went on for some time – some of the members backsliding at times, new members joining, the roster shifting around, but for the entirety of Busiek’s run, then that of his successor Fabian Nicieza, it was one of my favorite books Marvel was publishing.
Then in issue #76, they inexplicably dumped the entire concept. Issue #75 ended the story of the Thunderbolts we knew and loved and the next month we got a whole new story with new characters in what could best be described as “Supervillain Fight Club.” It was baffling, it was awful, and it was Thunderbolts in name only. It also only lasted six issues before the book was cancelled. Not too long after that, they brought back the original team for a second run that lasted a few more years, and it was good, but once again they took a sharp turn. This time around the team was replaced by a new group of villains – not reformed ones this time – rounded up to do tasks for the government. It felt like a carbon copy of DC’s Suicide Squad at this point. And it didn’t get better.
Pictured: Your guess is as good as mine.
Since then, the team has been reinvented seemingly dozens of times. The Suicide Squad knock-off has been done more than once. At one point the team was re-christened “Dark Avengers” and made of villains pretending to be heroes (ESTABLISHED heroes this time, like the Scorpion pretending to be Spider-Man, Daken pretending to be Wolverine, and so forth) . One time it was made up of antiheroes like the Punisher, Deadpool, and Elektra. Another time it was villains trying to HUNT the Punisher. Once it was villains deputized by the Kingpin of Crime while he was mayor of New York, and another time it was a group of HEROES deputized by Luke Cage when HE was mayor of New York. And on occasion we’ve even got a group of super-spies like the Winter Soldier and the White Widow, which seems to be the version that the upcoming movie is based on.
Pictu–oh, whatever.
The problem, then, comes when somebody asks the question “Who are the Thunderbolts?” because you just read about 1300 words on that very subject, and we STILL don’t have a definitive answer. Ever since the original version of the Thunderbolts ended, Marvel has recycled the name over and over again but has never found any concept that STICKS. Even the super-spy incarnation of the team seems to have been willed into existence so that they have something to synergize with the movie.
And let’s talk about the movie, while we’re at it. Some time back, the title was slightly changed from Thunderbolts to Thunderbolts* with an asterisk. People asked Marvel if the asterisk was, in fact, part of the title, and they confirmed that it was. This led to mass speculation on the internet as to the significance of that asterisk. Why was it there? WHAT DID IT MEAN? It’s the kind of rabid online speculation that movie studios love because they don’t have to do very much to get the audience talking about the film. It did wonders back in the day for movies like The Blair Witch Project and The Matrix, which managed to get an enormous amount of word of mouth with relatively simple ad campaigns back in the early days of the internet. It’s a great strategy when you have a good payoff.
Spoiler alert: this time there was NOT a good payoff.
Like, not even the Great Lakes Avengers?
When the most recent round of posters for Thunderbolts* was released, we saw what the asterisk stood for, and the revelation was met with a resounding “Meh.” At the bottom of the poster, with the asterisk attached to indicate the footnote, was the tagline “The Avengers are not available.” It’s actually not a bad tagline. It seems to indicate the tone of the movie – slightly tongue-in-cheek, indicating that this is NOT a story about paladins like Captain America or knights in armor like Iron Man. If they had never made a big deal out of the asterisk and simply released that poster without comment, I would have thought it was a cute detail. But after the buildup it got, it may have been the biggest letdown in the MCU since everybody forgot there’s a giant hand sticking out of the Earth after the events of Eternals.
I obviously haven’t seen the movie yet, and I am not here to talk trash about it. I never want there to be a bad superhero movie. I want every one of them to knock my socks off, and I really hope that this one does too. But the trailers seem to have that same feeling of a wannabe Suicide Squad with a group of characters that seem assembled not because it makes sense but because these are the pieces Marvel has on hand and they don’t know what to do with them.
Which, frankly, is a pretty good description of what it’s been like to try reading Thunderbolts comics for the last two decades or so.
The Thunderbolts were at their best when it was a story about villains trying to make good. It was a compelling book then and it could still be one now. There are even seeds, I think, in recent comics, such as the recent Venom War tie-in miniseries Zombiotes. The old Spider-Man villain Shocker was on a quest to bring back his friend Boomerang from the dead, and wound up fighting alongside the heroes She-Hulk and Hellcat during an invasion of…let’s just say “monsters,” because I don’t want to spend another 1300 words explaining THAT one. But that story could easily be a germ for a new Thunderbolts team. And it’s a book that would allow for reinvention WITHOUT changing the concept, with characters rotating in and out – some of them succeeding in their heroic goal, others falling from grace. There’s drama to be mined there and SO MANY villains that could be used, if Marvel did it right.
No offense, Bucky, but I’d rather read this group.
Or, you know, we could spend another 20 years throwing Thunder spaghetti at the wall in the hopes that something, ANYTHING sticks.
I suppose the real test will be to see if anything sticks to the movie screen.
Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. If Marvel is looking for a writer to try this obviously brilliant concept, they should know that Blake can be hired relatively cheap.
After the chaos of the last couple of weeks, I wanted to stabilize things a little bit, so it’s time for another theme week. He’s called the fastest man alive, but he’s often been forced to defend that title against the Man of Steel, so for the next seven days I’m going to put my attention on the competitions between Superman and the scarlet speedster himself. Yes, it’s Superman Vs. the Flash Week!
(Superman versus the) FLASH! (Bum bum bum bum bum) AAAH-AAAAAH!!!
Okay, I think I should make one thing clear here: in a straight-up foot race between Superman and the Flash, the Flash should win every time. Whether we’re talking about Barry Allen or Wally West, it doesn’t matter. The Flash’s entire job description is the fact that there’s nobody faster than him, and if you take that away it diminishes the character. Even Superman shouldn’t be allowed to do that.
That said, there have been many stories over the years that pit them against each other, and some of them are an awful lot of fun.
Wed., Feb. 12
Comics:Superman #199, Flash #175
Literally, the starting line for this whole thing.
Notes: The first-ever Superman/Flash race, at least as far as I can tell, is Superman #199 from 1967. The United Nations recruit Superman and Flash to race for one another to raise funds for charity, a basic enough premise that reasonably pits the two of them against each other without some sort of contrived misunderstanding, which I greatly appreciate. Unfortunately, a pair of major crime syndicates also bet a fortune on the outcome of the race, one on Superman and one on the Flash, and so they both hatch schemes to make sure their chosen hero is the winner. After uncovering the schemes and beating the gangsters, Superman and Flash conspire to end the race in a precise tie so that neither crime syndicate can cash in on their winnings and, conveniently, so that DC Comics doesn’t have to definitively answer the question of which of the two men is the faster.
What I find funny about this story is that, even though the story is contrived in such a way that the race ends in a tie, writer Jim Shooter almost seems to do so grudgingly. There are several times that we see the Flash doing things that seem to demonstrate that, as far as foot speed goes, he’s superior. As they race across the ocean, Flash is running on top of the water, whereas Superman has to swim at superspeed. Similarly, Supes has to burrow through sand dunes and climb over pyramids in the desert, while the Flash is simply vibrating right through them. At one point, Flash even employs a super-speed trick to rescue Superman from a random chunk of Kryptonite vomited up by a volcano without Superman even noticing. The only times Superman has an advantage is when his invulnerability or other non-speed powers give him an edge – in freezing cold, diving down a waterfall, or maintaining his balance across a frozen lake. Every task shows that the Flash’s super-speed tricks are superior, even if the story itself has to skirt the issue at the end. This would be a running theme through future competitions between Superman and Barry Allen.
It’s covers like this, Superman. Covers like this are why some people call you a jerk.
Only a few months later, they got together for a rematch in Flash #175. It starts when the two heroes wind up muscling in on each other’s territory, each of them getting an emergency alert from the other on their Justice League signal devices that their teammate denies sending out. When the JLA assembles, it turns out the signal was sent by a pair of aliens Superman and Batman have encountered before. The aliens had placed a wager on the first race and, as it ended in a tie, insist on a rematch. Instead of lapping the Earth this time, though, they’re going to force the heroes to race across the Milky Way. Oh, and just in case they need a little added incentive, they promise to annihilate Central City if the Flash loses and Metropolis if Superman is the loser. So as sports commissioners, they’re still slightly less evil than Roger Goodell.
The aliens throw lots of traps and obstacles in front of our heroes, each of whom independently finds evidence that the race isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. But it’s the Silver Age, so neither of them ever thinks to just TELL his teammate that the race is a fake, they make vague statements about things being “off” until they beat the aliens on the last two pages, with the race once again not having any definitive winner.
As snarky as I sound, I actually did enjoy this issue. It was a pretty decent follow-up to the first race, and it gets bonus points for the last panel, where Flash and Superman look directly at the reader and invite them to go back to the finish line on Page 21 and decide for themselves who they think won. You can’t get away with stuff like that these days.
Thur., Feb. 13
Comics: World’s Finest Comics #198-199
“Okay, we’re ACTUALLY gonna declare a winner this time, right? No more cop-outs?
Notes: Three years after the first two races, DC decided to try it again. Although World’s Finest has, historically, been the Superman/Batman team-up book, there was a period in which it was a Superman team-up title, with Superman as the anchor and different guest-stars for each issue, so it was here that they staged the next installment in this saga. And THIS time, the cover of issue #198 proclaims, “There MUST be a winner!”
Race #3 has the wildest conceit yet – the Guardians of the Universe (the little blue guys who sponsor the Green Lantern Corps) have detected an incursion of “Arachronids,” faster-than-light lifeforms that are disrupting space and time. The only way to save the universe is for two people to race in a path opposite that of the Arachronids, and the only ones speedy enough to do the job are Superman and the Flash. (This is in the days before the “Flash Family,” of course, there was only Barry and Wally West as Kid Flash. If this were to happen today there are roughly a dozen speedsters more qualified than Superman to handle this deal.) Anyway, the Guardians provide the Flash with an amulet that will allow him to race in space and he suggests – since we never actually settled the question of who’s faster – why not make this another race?
Things are going swimmingly until the Arachronids destroy a sun, knocking our heroes off-track on a planet where the sunlight keeps shifting from yellow to red, which negates Superman’s powers. Oh, and did I mention that the time-disruptions have chucked Jimmy Olsen back to ancient Rome, where he’s about to get executed by a firing squad of archers?
Part two of the story reveals the truth: the Arachronids were created by General Zod and a group of Phantom Zone escapees, and they’ve got Superman and the Flash captured on a planet that straddles the line between dimensions. They wind up on a world where the red sun is draining Superman’s powers and the Flash has his swiftness curtailed when the baddies steal the amulet given to him by the Guardians, leaving them to crawl towards the device that’s causing all the chaos. WHO WILL MAKE IT FIRST?
This is the first time I’ve read this particular two-parter and, I’ve gotta say, I really enjoyed it. It’s a different angle on the Superman/Flash race, one that’s apart from the usual “racing for charity” conceit or the other various contrivances that have pit them against one another. No, this time it’s a totally original contrivance, and I appreciate that. I also appreciate the fact that they TECHNICALLY declare a winner of the race this time (it’s the Flash, spoiler alert), but they do so on a world where both heroes are virtually powerless and are literally crawling towards their destination, so the question as to who’s really faster when they’re at normal power is still left up in the air. I’m sure that was the mandate at the time. I’m glad that they eventually got over that mandate, though, as some of the later stories we’re going to get around to reading will demonstrate.
Other Comics:Jenny Sparks #6 (Superman appearance), Black Lightning Vol. 4 #3 (Steel II appearance), The Question: All Along the Watchtower #3 (Superman Cameo), Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane #10
Fri., Feb. 14
Comics: DC Comics Presents #1-2
“Barry? Clark. Hey, wanna be the first guest in my new team-up book? Noooo…not a race this time…I wouldn’t do that to you…”
Notes: Eventually, World’s Finest went back to being a Superman/Batman book, and while Batman had his own team-up series (The Brave and the Bold), Superman was given his own with DC Comics Presents. In the first two issues of this series, published in 1978, we got the next installment of the friendly rivalry between Superman and the Flash – and, in fact, I’m pretty sure this was the last such story before Barry’s death in Crisis on Infinite Earths. (If I’m wrong, by all means, correct me in the comments.)
This time around, our heroes are captured by a pair of warring alien races, one of whom has sent an agent forward in time to go through the “cosmic curtain” that separates the end of the timeline to the beginning. (Time, you see, is evidently a giant loop, but their time machines only go FORWARD, so they have to take the long way around, as if they were flying across Europe and Asia to get to California from Florida. Flat-timers hate this issue.) Since the Flash “won” the previous race, they send him to help their agent in the future, with the consequence for failure being the destruction of Earth. The other aliens, though, force Superman’s hand by telling him that if their enemy succeeds in changing time, Krypton will explode SOONER than it was supposed to, and Superman will never exist.
The major difference between this two-parter and the previous three races between Superman and the Flash is that the race is across time, rather than space, and it’s a significant enough change to really make this one stand out. Superman’s actions seem a bit out of character, of course – he’s risking the destruction of Earth to save his own life, a task even the VILLAINS are surprised to see him willingly take. Naturally, it turns out to all be part of the plan.
This one, unlike the other three races we’ve seen, doesn’t even really try to address the issue of who “wins.” Once Superman’s plan is unveiled, the heroes work together (as it should be) to thwart BOTH sects of warring aliens and fix all the timey-wimey chaos before anyone is killed, especially Jimmy Olsen. The conclusion, then, is satisfying, but leaves the central question essentially unanswered. In fact, the first time we get anything resembling a true answer, it would have to come from Barry’s protege, Wally West, another 12 years later.
Other Comics:Superman’s Pal, Jimmy Olsen #135, Justice League of America #16, Action Comics #372
Podcast: DC Studios Showcase Episode 1 (Discussion of documentary film Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story)
Valentine’s Day Stuff: Today is, in case you forgot, Valentine’s Day. (And if you DID forget, this isn’t going to be posted until February 19th, so you are SERIOUSLY out of luck.) But I couldn’t let the day pass without noting my darling wife, Erin, and how she indulged my quest for the Year of Superman today.
Pictured: Love. And personal hygiene products.
She got me the McFarlane Toys Super Powers Fleischer-style Superman, a figure I’ve been hunting for ever since I found out it existed, but have been resisting paying eBay prices. If I won the lottery, I would build an entire toy display room in my palatial mansion, and one full wall would be dedicated to a collection of Super Powers figures, Marvel Secret Wars figures, and figures from comparable toy lines like the Archie Mighty Crusaders and Defenders of the Earth series of my youth. She also got me a set of the new Superman-branded Old Spice body wash and deodorant, which I first saw in an ad a week or two ago where it was being promoted along with Batman-branded products, prompting me to ask her, “Who do you think smells better? Superman or Batman? I bet Batman sweats a lot.”
And yet, she’s been married to me for over 10 years now. Get you one who understands you like mine understands me, friends.
Sat., Feb. 15
Comic Books: Adventures of Superman #463, Flash Vol. 2 #53
“On your marks! Get se–wait a second, haven’t we done this before?”
Notes: The next time the Man of Steel and the Scarlet Speedster would face off against one another wouldn’t come until 1990, at which point both of them had experienced some drastic changes. Superman had gone through the post-Crisis John Byrne reboot, whereas Barry Allen had died in Crisis on Infinite Earths and been replaced by his protege, former Kid Flash Wally West. Like a lot of Superman history, it’s unclear if any of the previous races with Barry were canon to Superman at this time, but the story makes it quite clear that it’s the first time he’s faced off against Wally, at least, and it’s a distinction that Superman takes pretty seriously.
This story involves our old pal from the Fifth Dimension, Mr. Mxyzptlk, who shows up on Earth this time restructuring Mount Rushmore to include his own face. The Flash happens to get there first and, when Mxy finds out that he’s supposedly the “fastest man alive,” he decides to put that claim to a test. If Superman can beat the Flash in a race around the world, he says, he’ll pop out of our dimension for the usual 90 days. Superman notes, rather dismissively, that Wally hasn’t been the Flash that long and strongly implies that beating KID Flash won’t be too difficult, and Wally does his best impression of Michael Jordan in that meme. The race is on.
From here out, the story is actually pretty straightforward. Unlike most of the races we don’t have to deal with any shady stipulations, misdirects for the reader, or bad guys trying to fix the outcome of the race, except for your typical Mxy shenanigans. There is a nice little scene I’d forgotten about, where Mxyzptlk tries to offer Lex Luthor a hunk of red Kryptonite but Lex turns him down, which actually makes this story a stealth prequel to the Krisis of the Krimson Kryptonite story we read last month. But as far as the actual RACE goes, it’s pretty cut and dried, with both heroes putting the pedal to the metal until, in the final stretch, Wally reaches out and beats Superman by a nose.
Totally saving the day! As it turns out, Mxy had learned about deception from Lex in a previous visit and so he was trying it out. Although he SAID he was only going to leave Earth if Superman won, he had always REALLY planned to leave if the FLASH won. It never occurs to him to simply lie again, which is actually kind of a silly, charming hat to put on this dude in his silly, charming hat.
This was the first Superman/Flash race I ever read, and as such it’s always held a place of esteem in my personal pantheon of Superman stories, but I think it’s important to note which versions of the characters we’re looking at. Superman was only a few years post-Byrne, an era in which his power had been scaled down dramatically to make him less “godlike.” Over the years his powers would slowly creep up in strength again until today he’s more powerful than ever before, but as Supermen go, the one in this story was relatively slow. However, this was also early in Wally’s tenure as the Flash, a period during which he was much slower than Barry ever was. When Mark Waid took over Wally’s series a few years later he established that Wally had a subconscious fear of overshadowing his predecessor and had a self-imposed mental block limiting his speed. Once he got over that, he became the fastest Flash there ever was. The point is that if you took the current versions of either Superman OR the Flash and popped them into the race during this era, either of them could smoke the two characters we watched race today.
This time it’s a METAPHORICAL race! The greatest kind of race there is!
I also read issue #53 of Wally’s first solo title, a story which was NOT actually a race, despite what the cover promised. In this one, Jimmy Olsen has gotten himself captured by some South American warlord (because that’s what Jimmy Olsen DOES) and Superman decides to recruit the only person alive faster than him (as established in the previous race) to help find Jimmy before he’s unalived. This is a typical superhero team-up story: good, not special, but enjoyable. I think the most interesting thing about it, the thing that gives it a spot of interest in superhero history, is that this happens to be the issue in which Wally’s pal the Pied Piper (former villain, now reformed) comes out to him as gay. I don’t know if this is the FIRST openly gay character in mainstream comics, but he’s certainly ONE of the first, and while it’s no big deal in today’s comic book landscape, for 1991 it was a pretty surprising revelation. There ya go, ya learned something today.
Sun., Feb. 16
Comic Book:DC First: Superman/Flash #1
Big Good Vs. Big Good.
Notes: I’ve got a sick kid to take care of this afternoon and, as a parent, that has to take precedence over pretty much everything. But in-between far too frequent trips to the bathroom and a larger-than-average number of baths, I made it a point to squeeze in the next story in the Superman/Flash pantheon. This time we leap ahead to 2002 for DC First: Superman/Flash. This was a series of one-shots DC did that showed the first meetings between various characters – but as Superman’s first races between Barry Allen and Wally West were already pretty well documented, for this special they did something a little different and very cool: they showed Superman’s first race with Jay Garrick, the original Golden Age Flash.
This issue reads more as a special issue of the then-current Flash run. It’s written by Geoff Johns, who was writing that book at the time, and it deals with subplots involving Pied Piper and Jay’s wife, Joan, with Superman’s involvement coming in coincidentally. Wally and Jay head to Metropolis to a bookshop where they’ve sourced a rare book as a gift for Joan, only to run afoul of the old Flash rogue Abra Kadabra. The faux wizard of the 64th century casts a spell that begins causing Wally to age rapidly, then tells Superman and Jay they can save him if they can catch him in a race – with the caveat that whoever touches Wally first will take the curse upon themselves. What you’ve got, then, is perhaps the greatest conceit for a Superman/Flash race of them all. They aren’t racing for charity, they aren’t racing for ego, they aren’t even racing with the fate of the world at stake. They are literally racing one another for the RIGHT TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES TO SAVE WALLY. There is no better motivation for these two heroes.
I know I read this book when it first came out. It’s in my collection, and I was an avid reader of both the Superman comics (duh) and Flash, so I am 100 percent certain I read it. But it came out 23 years ago, and I didn’t really remember the story at all until I sat down to read it this afternoon, and it honestly blew me away. Even though it’s more of a Flash story than a Superman story, it really exemplifies the values of Superman in a way that a lot of these other races failed to do. It may be my favorite read for this week to date.
Mon., Feb. 17
Comics: Flash: Rebirth #3, Superman #709
This issue, as far as I’m concerned, is the final word on the whole thing.
Notes: I actually struggled with whether to include this issue of Flash: Rebirth from 2009 in my Year of Superman reading. It’s the middle of a storyline, and Superman’s appearance is barely a cameo, but that one sequence in which he appears is significant enough that I felt it warranted inclusion. Barry Allen, having returned from the dead in the terribly inaccurately named Final Crisis event, is being transformed into a new Black Flash, essentially the spirit of death for speedsters such as himself. To protect Wally, his grandson Bart, and everyone else he loves, he decides he’s going to rush back into the Speed Force before the transformation can happen, and Superman takes off after him. At this point, the League had gone through its share of recent tragedies, and both Aquaman and the Martian Manhunter were dead (they got better), so Clark isn’t about to let Barry die again.
This leads to one of my favorite pages that Geoff Johns ever wrote, as the two of them are racing each other up the Daily Planet building and Superman says, “I’ve raced you before, Barry. I even won some of those races.”*
Barry simply says, “Those were for charity, Clark.”
And then he leaves him in the dust.
Like I keep saying, the Flash SHOULD be faster than Superman. This issue is the best evidence of that ever.
(*By the way, despite what he says, I don’t actually recall Superman ever winning one of those races. There were a few ties, but every time a victor was declared it was the guy in red. I’m going to assume, from the way Clark talks, that there may have been other charity races off-panel that we didn’t get to watch. And now that I’ve said it, it’s going to manifest in the universe as a seven-part time-travel crossover event, coming this fall.)
“You’re GROUNDED young man! That means no disrupting the time stream! Just do your homework and straight to bed!”
The final Superman/Flash face-off I could find in comics came in Superman #709 from 2011, part of J. Michael Straczynski’s “Grounded” storyline. In this arc, Superman decides he needs to reconnect with the ordinary people he is sworn to protect, so he commits himself to walk across the United States. It’s an interesting concept, to be certain, and Straczynski is an excellent writer, but the general consensus on this storyline is that it sort of fell flat. I think the problem is that it went on for far too long (who wants an entire year of Superman just…walking?) and even Straczynski himself seemed to lose interest in it, as evidenced by the fact that he bowed out before the story was over and it was completed by Chris Roberson.
The “race” part of this issue is over fairly quickly. While walking through Boulder, Colorado, the entire town is suddenly transformed into a Kryptonian city. Superman soon figures out that the transformation is the work of the Flash, who has been overtaken by a Kryptonian artifact and he needs Superman to set him free. After he does so, they have a cup of coffee and talk about legacy. This is what I mean, by the way, when I say that the “Grounded” story went on too long. The story of this issue is perfectly fine, in and of itself, but when you read it in the context of the entire year-long storyline, it was too much of the same thing over and over: Superman walking somewhere, doubting himself, having a significant encounter with various characters (both new and previously established) and coming to a peaceful resolution. That’s great ONCE, but do you really want to read it twelve issues in a row?
The most interesting thing to me about this issue is that it happens concurrently with that month’s issue of Superboy, in which the Kid of Steel races KID Flash for the first time, and which Clark and Barry catch a glimpse of on a diner television. I’ll take a look at that issue tomorrow when I look at the few races I could find between members of the Superman and Flash families other than the patriarchs.
TV Episode: Superman: The Animated Series, Season Two, Episode 4, “Speed Demons”
“Loved you on Wings, by the way.”
Notes: That’s all the comic book Superman/Flash races I could find, but there’s still this episode of Superman: The Animated Series, the first appearance of the Flash in the DC Animated Universe. In this episode he’s voiced by Charlie Schlatter, although Michael Rosenbaum would take over the character for the Justice League cartoons. (Tim Daly would be replaced as Superman by George Newburn too. I guess not everyone can be Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill.) In this episode, Superman and the Flash are pitted against each other in, as per their first-ever encounter, a charity race. This time the rules are a bit more sensible for the two of them: the winner will be the first to complete 100 laps around the globe. Of course, just like many of their races in the comics, there’s a catch – the arm bands they’re wearing to track their progress are, in truth, using them to build up ionic energy to power a plot by the Weather Wizard. (Weather Wizard, by the way, was voiced by the late Miguel Ferrer in a delightfully dastardly way.)
This episode never makes it clear which Flash we’re watching, Barry or Wally. In terms of attitude and personality, it’s definitely influenced by the early days of Wally’s solo title. He’s slick, he’s cocky, and he relentlessly flirts with Lois Lane, none of which are things you could ever imagine Barry doing. It takes plenty of cues from the classic comics, though, such as the race itself being derailed halfway through when Superman and the Flash catch wind (rimshot) of the Weather Wizard’s plan and call it off to get around to some good ol’ fashioned thwartin’. It’s easy to forget that the Batman cartoon almost never had guest-stars from outside the Batman family, so this was one of the first times we really started to see an animated universe begin to form in the Paul Dini/Bruce Timm era. It was a real delight to revisit this episode again.
There is ONE other Superman/Flash race that I haven’t covered here, but for what I consider a good reason. It’s part of Tom King’s Superman: Up in the Sky series, which is a magnificent comic in its own right, and I intend to cover it in its entirety at some point this year. Plus, looking at the issue with the race on its own wouldn’t really make a ton of sense, absent of the context. I’m bringing it up here mainly so that nobody thinks I forgot about it.
Tues., Feb. 18
Comics:Superboy Vol. 4 #5, Supergirl: The Fastest Women Alive #1
“I don’t know why Barry and Clark always make such a big deal about this.”
Notes: I had one day left in “Superman Vs. The Flash Week,” but I had run out of actual Superman/Flash races, so I decided to close it out with a pair of comics featuring other members of the respective Super- and Flash-Families strapping on their jogging shoes to see who’s swiftest. First was Superboy Vol. 4 #5 from 2011, the first ever Superboy/Kid Flash race (this Kid Flash being Bart Allen, Barry’s grandson, who previously had gone by “Impulse” and since has retaken that name). In this era, Superboy was living in Smallville, and his presence had rocked the town with a few supervillain attacks that resulted in some pretty major damage. This time around, the race is scheduled to raise money to rebuild the town. As the two old friends zip across the globe, though, Bart can tell that Conner Kent’s mind is elsewhere.
This issue is part of Jeff Lemire’s run on the title, a tenure that was cut tragically short by the New 52 reboot later that year. Lemire was doing a great job at grounding Superboy in a way that this version of the character so rarely is, giving him a home and a family in Smallville to contend with, and making his adventures a mix of the cosmic and the mundane, something Lemire is exceptionally good at. (And if you don’t believe me, check out his series Black Hammer.) Despite the race being a backdrop, the mundane part is the focus of the issue, with nary a supervillain plot or alien invader to disrupt things. Instead, in the midst of a race across the globe, Conner just confides in his friend about his pain over his recent breakup with Wonder Girl.
The ending of the race is a cop-out, which we’ve all come to expect, but this may be the biggest one yet. (Spoiler: somehow, Krypto crosses the finish line first and everyone accepts it, even though it feels as legit as Harry Potter’s name being tossed in the Goblet of Fire.) Still, if you’re thinking of reading this book, the Lemire run is extremely worthy of your time – it’s just that this issue, by itself, may not be quite so satisfying without the context of the rest of the run.
Finally, we’ve got the bizarre little one-shot Supergirl: The Fastest Women Alive, a special comic from 2019 presented by Snickers. Very, very much by Snickers. There is Snickers branding on nearly every page, and even the captions that tell you where the racers are at the moment are branded in the Snickers logo font. The message, just in case you missed it, is: Snickers.
Did we mention it’s presented by Snickers?
For the first half of the issue, though, this is actually a decent enough race between Supergirl and Jesse Quick. It uses most of the tropes of the previous races, such as it being a charity race, Supergirl not being allowed to fly, and so forth. The turn comes halfway through, though, when the racers discover that the Parasite has attacked the arena where the race began and will end, and he’s already got Superman and the Flash on the ropes. The lightning ladies rush back to save the day, but how can they possibly get the energy they need to overload and defeat the energy-sucking Parasite?
HOW CAN THEY FIND THE NECESSARY ENERGY?
SNICKERS? GOT A SUGGESTION?
This story is a full-issue equivalent of the delightfully goofy old Hostess comic book ads, only way less subtle.
I kinda love it.
And thus, friends, concludes Superman Vs. The Flash week. My feelings haven’t really changed, I must say. In any contest of speed between a Super of any stripe and a Flash by any name, the Flashes should always be the ones to come out on top. Sorry, Superman, but it’s their whole entire deal. You can’t really compete.
But this week has proven it’s fun to watch you try anyway.
Ah, Valentine’s Day: the day to show your affection to the one you love, or perhaps the ones if you’re Nick Cannon or somebody. The day that we celebrate passion and romance. The day that everyone who is not, currently, in a relationship does their absolute best to ignore, because those of us who DO have cause to celebrate on this day can – admittedly – be absolutely sickening at times. And most importantly, it’s the day where we feature Part Two of “Playing Favorites With Love Stories.” Just like last week with Part One, I took to social media and asked my friends to throw out suggestions for love story categories to talk about, and this week I’m going to tackle a few more. Grab your sweetie and pull up a chair – there’s some heart-shaped excellence coming your way.
Superhero Love
Eric LeBlanc asked me for my “favorite superhero movies that are just love stories with violence.” That’s an interesting way to phrase it, particularly since a lot of traditional love stories are also “love stories with violence,” but I’m up for the challenge. I have, after all, watched a superhero movie or two in my time, and because of that I think I am uniquely qualified to declare that the best superhero love story ever to grace the silver screen is probably 1980’s Superman II.
Nothing says romance like fighting three evil prison escapees and crashing through a Coke sign.
Part of this, I concede, may be recency bias. I watched Superman II again only a few weeks ago as part of my ongoing Year of Superman project (with new posts every Wednesday – tell your friends!) so it’s still pretty fresh in my mind, but it’s perhaps my favorite depiction of the Superman/Lois Lane relationship on screen. The whole film hinges on the idea that Superman, upon having Lois finally prove his dual identity, decides that he wants to be with her and that the only way to do so is to give up his powers. As it turns out, though, super-timing was not one of his abilities. No sooner has he abdicated his super-ness than he gets his clock cleaned by a jerk in a diner and finds out – oh yeah – while he was off in the arctic circle becoming human again, General Zod and his cronies have escaped the Phantom Zone and are about to take over the world.
Much as I love the Zod stuff, the Superman and Lois relationship is the soul of this movie, and so much credit needs to go to Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder for making it work. Kidder’s fire and verve absolutely make it believable that this is a woman a man of steel would fall in love with, would be willing to sacrifice everything to be with, and that steers us into the tragedy of it all when he is forced to conclude that the world needs Superman more than Superman needs love. Your heart breaks for the both of them, even if the film kind of chickens out at the end and he uses the heretofore-unknown “super kiss” power to make her forget the whole thing. The super kiss is really the only part of the film that bothers me, but it’s not nearly enough to knock this excellent film from its perch at the top of the mountain.
Next is perhaps an odd choice, but I’ve always been fond of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, the musical that came about as a result of a 2008 writer’s strike. Dr. Horrible (Neil Patrick Harris) is an aspiring supervillain trying to crack into the big leagues when he finds himself falling for a girl he meets doing laundry (played flawlessly by Felicia Day). Unfortunately for him, her life is saved by his arch-enemy, the superhero Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion), who – as heroes go – is way less Superman and way more Guy Gardner. Apropos, I know.
The supervillain musical Joker: Folie à Deux WISHES it could be.
I absolutely love this one. The songs are catchy, the three main actors are at the top of their form, and the conclusion is suitably heartbreaking. And it nicely meets Eric’s qualification of “a love story with violence.”
Not every superhero love story has to end sadly, though, although it seems like most of the really good movies do. But I don’t want to leave you utterly bereft of happy endings, so even though Eric specifically asked for movies, I’m going to throw out a comic book recommendation, one that I’ve been a fan of for many years: Thom Zahler’s delightful series Love and Capes.
Pictured: Love. Also pictured: Capes.
This story, described by Zahler as a romantic situation comedy, focuses on Abby Tennyson, a bookshop owner who is stunned, in the first issue, when she learns that her boyfriend Mark is actually the world’s most powerful superhero, the Crusader. Abby and Mark have one of the healthiest relationships in the entirety of superhero comics, and the way we watch their relationship grow and develop over the years – through dating, marriage, and parenthood – is the absolute rebuttal to any comic book writer who argues that there are no interesting stories to tell about a couple in a happy relationship. (Lookin’ – as always – as YOU, Spider-Man editorial office.) This series is a favorite of mine not only because it’s a great story (it is) but because it enjoys the rare honor of being one of the only comic books that I’ve ever discovered upon a recommendation from Erin, my own girlfriend (at the time, now wife). In fact, she and I were even guests at Mark and Abby’s wedding. No, really.
I was mostly there to check out the venue.
Platonic Love
Chance Simoncelli suggested the best “platonic” love stories. I really like this suggestion – it seems like much of the media is focused on romantic love, which is fine, but they zero in on it to the expense of every other type of relationship. It’s like the entertainment world doesn’t seem to grasp the concept that sometimes people are just friends, with no romantic connection, but that doesn’t mean their love isn’t deep and true and sincere. This is one of the reasons I hate fanfiction, if we’re being perfectly blunt.
But on rare occasions, they do manage to get it right, and share with us a deep, committed bond between two people that never indulge in any hanky-panky, and I think those stories should be celebrated. One of my favorites comes from the TV show Parks and Recreation. Nick Offerman’s Ron Swanson and Amy Poehler’s Leslie Knope couldn’t possibly be more different. Leslie is a chipper, enthusiastic-to-a-fault government employee who sees working in public service as the highest calling there is, whereas Ron is a grouchy straw Libertarian who sees all government work as inherently useless and wants nothing more than for everybody to leave him alone. Somehow, they’re the best of friends. Their devotion to one another is so powerful that in the final season of the show, after a time jump, the two of them have a wedge driven between them and it’s as horrifying and shocking as it would have been had either of them broken up with their respective spouses. The episode where the two of them reconnect and reconcile their differences is one of the most beautiful and sweetest in the entire series, as their bonds are once again forged over a mutual affection, respect, and a love for breakfast foods.
On any given day, I am both of these people.
There’s also a great example from the show Friends. First of all, I think it’s time we all admit that, in terms of friendship, Joey Tribbiani was the MVP of that show. The whole thesis of the series is that these six people are one another’s found family, but the level of loyalty and devotion that Matt LeBlanc’s character shows to each of the other five at various points in the series is above and beyond, and I don’t know if he gets enough credit for that. The late-seasons dalliance with Rachel aside (we can all agree that was Friends’ worst plotline, right?), he is the staunchest of the group.
And the best such relationship, I think, is the one he has with Lisa Kudrow’s Phoebe. With the other four pairing off and going through assorted romantic shenanigans of one sort or another for the entire run of the series, these two are simply friends through thick and thin. There were occasional episodes where we saw some flirtatious banter between them, and once in a while they would allude to the notion of them hooking up somewhere down the line, but at no point does it ever come across as a serious intention. Frankly, although they both enjoy playing the game with one another, I think Joey and Phoebe love each other TOO much to ever get physical, because they already know their relationship is perfect the way it is. In fact, she may be the one woman on the entire planet that Joey feels that way about, and if that’s not special I don’t know what is.
Somehow the womanizer and the former mugger were the wholesome, beating heart of the show.
I also need to give a little credit to Disney here. True, they have done as much to push romantic love as being the apex of a relationship as any studio on the planet, but there was one time they deliberately steered away from that and they nailed it, and I of course am talking about Frozen. It’s a Disney Princess movie from the outset and, as such, people expect it to follow the usual tropes of a Disney Princess movie, including the damsel in distress and the handsome prince. And for much of the film it does use these tropes, including Anna being afflicted by an errant piece of magic that threatens to turn her into ice if the spell is not broken by an act of true love.
I know it’s fashionable to hate on Frozen and call it overrated now, and I’ll be the first to admit that the hype train it rode for many years went a lot farther than it probably should, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that the filmmakers were brilliant in how they subverted the expectations of a Princess movie. While Anna is looking for “true love” to cure her, her handsome prince reveals himself to be an opportunistic villain who was only planning to marry her to move himself into position to become king. If she dies, all the better for him. In the end, though, Anna IS saved by an act of true love: not by her false fiance Hans, nor even from the stout-hearted Kristoff, whose love for Anna IS pure. Anna is saved by her sister Elsa, stepping in to defeat Hans at the last second and breaking her own spell. The love between the two sisters is at the heart of the film, far more than Anna’s love triangle, and that makes it a unique and special film in the Disney canon. And I don’t care HOW sick you are of hearing “Let It Go,” it gets my respect for that.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” “Yes, those fanfiction writers are messed up.”
Finally, of course, we can’t forget the greatest platonic love story of all: a story not between man and woman, not between friends, not between family, but between the sole survivor of a dying world and his appetite.
Project ALF.
The true platonic love affair is between me and this joke.
Will They/Won’t They?
Finally, Duane Hower asks for the best “Will they/Won’t they?” in geek culture, “and why is it Buffy and Spike?” Ah yes, the “Will they/Won’t they?” It’s the trope that fuels a million stories and makes half of them frustrating. The truth is, any time they try a “Will they/Won’t they?” the storytellers are playing with fire. Setting up a WTWT is incredibly easy: get two characters, hint at a degree of attraction between them, and then make the audience shriek uncontrollably as you refuse to settle the question. But concluding that arc in a satisfying way is a lot harder than it seems on the surface. If you resolve it too quickly you give up fuel for future stories. If you play it out too long, the audience gets frustrated. If you resolve it at exactly the right time, half the audience will hate the outcome, no matter what the outcome happens to be. Duane mentions Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I concede that it’s a pretty good example, as far as WTWT go, but mostly because of how adroitly the storytellers managed the timing.
There are tons of classic examples: Pam and Jim from The Office, Sam and Diane (and later, Sam and Rebecca) from Cheers, Ted and Robin from How I Met Your Mother? and so forth, and while some of them navigated the minefield better than others, I think the relationship between Janine and Gregory in Abbott Elementary is one of the better examples. In the first episode, Gregory joins the Abbott Elementary faculty and we quickly see sparks between him and Janine, who happens to be in a long-term relationship. In truth, for the first few episodes Abbott adheres so closely to the format of The Office that it’s almost uncanny. But the relationship between the two of them changes and takes unexpected turns over the next few seasons. Relationships change, feelings change, and while the attraction between them remains undeniable, you’ve got a case here where you genuinely aren’t sure which way they’re going to take the characters. In fact, a late season three episode sets up things to put the kibosh on them once and for all just before the season finale changes everything. One of the reasons I think Abbott is the best comedy currently on television is because of its hilarious and shockingly realistic depiction of a school setting, but the Janine/Gregory relationship is a close second.
Fun fact: putting this much adorable in a single room is considered a health hazard in 29 states.
But perhaps the greatest example of a WTWT in the history of television comes from the brilliant, magnificent, legendary, and frankly underrated sitcom Newsradio. This 90s show about the staff of a New York radio station is one of the smartest and funniest television shows in the entire history of the medium, with whip-smart writing and a cast that performs their roles with such ease, grace, and humor that watching it can almost make you forget what a dumpster fire of a human being Andy Dick turned out to be. As the show was in development, though, the network (NBC) insisted that they include a WTWT among the cast. That was absurd, the writers said. That wasn’t the show they were doing! That wasn’t the story they were trying to tell! This was supposed to be a workplace comedy, not a romcom!
“Give us a WTWT,” NBC intoned deeply, whilst carefully counting their Seinfeld money.
“FIIIIIIIIIINE,” the Newsradio writers replied, tweaking the first episode to set up a WTWT between Dave Foley and Maura Tierney’s characters. “Happy now?”
“Delighted,” NBC said, lighting a cigar on fire with a $100-bill with Jason Alexander’s signature on it.
And then the Newsradio writers took their mandated WTWT and resolved it in the SECOND EPISODE by hooking up the two characters officially.
“Look, we’re not Mulder and Scully, let’s just get on with it.”
Newsradio is one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, but the way they thumbed their nose at the network may be their crowning achievement.
Thus concludes PLAYING FAVORITES WITH LOVE STORIES, friends. I hope you all have a fantastic Valentine’s Day. Spend it with someone you love, fire up some of these stories we’ve mentioned, and remember that Phil Hartman was a genius
Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. Did you know that Jon and Liz the veterinarian finally hooked up in the Garfield comic strip? No really, it’s true. Just throwing that out there to remind you that there’s hope for everybody.
Last week, as I alluded to in that blog post, was a chaotic mess for me that left me a little bit of a wreck. I’m a little better as I write this, on the afternoon of Feb. 5, but the things that have been dragging me down since last Friday haven’t subsided entirely. As a result, I didn’t have time to really read or watch anything Superman-related today, and for a moment I was afraid my streak would end in only week six. But on the way home from work, an angel appeared in my podcatcher app in the form of good old Michael Bailey.
Wed., Feb. 5
Podcast:It All Comes Back to Superman Series 2, episode 8, “Moving Kryptonian Images Part One: Superman and the Mole Men”
Notes: Like myself, Michael’s got plans leading up to the release of the Gunn Superman movie, including an examination of 25 different feature films starring the Man of Steel, and he starts with this one. I’m not going to attempt any sort of recap when I listen to these episodes – in fact, in the future I may have no notes at all – but I really do enjoy them and I’m glad I’ve got him riding shotgun while I drive to keep my mind on the good things in this world…specifically those that come in the form of a strange visitor from another planet.
Thur., Feb. 6
I WISH they made these toys.
Comic: Super Powers Vol. 4 #1
Notes: It’s a busy week for me, so once again, I need something quick. The Super Bowl is coming to New Orleans this Sunday and my son is a ravenous football fan. While there’s no way we could possibly afford a trip to the Big Game, the NFL Fan Experience they’re hosting at the New Orleans Convention Center is considerably more affordable, and something Eddie will have fun with, so after school on Thursday we hustle him off to New Orleans for a few hours of gridiron fun. It’s a great time, but it does limit my Superman reading time to finding a quick comic on the DC Infinite app to read before bed. The winner is Super Powers #1from 2016. This comic is by the amazing team of Art Baltazar and Franco Aureliani, and is set in the same world as some of their other kid-friendly comics Tiny Titans and Superman Family Adventures. In this first issue, Batman has mysteriously gone missing from Gotham City and it’s up to Superman and Wonder Woman to find him.
Art and Franco have a wonderful sense of humor and a delightfully free style that makes for some of the best comics for kids published in decades. And like most TRULY great works for children, it’s still fun for adults to read. The stories often have silly angles and even the occasional euphemism for some of the more adult concepts, but in a winking-at-the-camera way. This series was one of the few times they tried an extended storyline rather than a one-off or a series of shorts in a single issue, and I’m going to have to make it a point to finish the rest of the six-issue series this weekend.
Fri., Feb. 7
Comics:Super Powers Vol. 4 #2-6
Notes: Today I decided to finish up the Art Baltazar and Franco Aurelani miniseries I started yesterday. I read this comic when it was released back in 2016, but it turned out to have far more Superman relevance to it than I remembered. For instance, I’d forgotten that in this very kid-friendly continuity, Jor-El and Lara are alive and living in Kandor. And, in fact, in this series they give Superman a baby brother, Prym-El…who, as it turns out, also has plenty of connection to one of Jor-El’s other “children,” the computer intelligence Brainiac. The Brainiac story actually works really well. It’s presented in a format that is intended for children, obviously, but if you took the bare bones of the plot and re-told it for an adult audience it would work perfectly well. On the other hand, that would cause us to lose a lot of the tongue-in-cheek humor and delightful continuity gags intended for the older people who they knew were reading the books as well. After all, there aren’t a lot of elementary school kids who read this book and would have gotten the joke about “Superboy Prym.” (If you don’t get the joke either, “Prym” is pronounced with a long “y”.)
I really do love this creative team. They’ve done some of the funniest and most welcoming comics for young readers this century, and that’s something we can always use more of. They still dip their toes back into the DC Universe occasionally, although they spend more time these days doing their own thing or working on other properties, such as some of the recent graphic novels based on the works of Dr. Seuss, but I will always welcome their return to the Superman family.
Sat., Feb. 8
The worst part is that the Daily Planet’s health insurance defines this as a preexisting condition.
Comics:Superman #250, Superman #281.
Notes: Coming down from a stressful week, I decided to spend this afternoon finally reading the two new Superman comics I picked up at Fan Expo New Orleans back in Week Two. First up was the double-sized anniversary issue, Superman #250 from 1972. In this issue, Superman faces the Terra-Man, a villain that the narration has the audacity to refer to as “the most dangerous man in the world.” Although to be fair, he DOES almost manage to take out Superman with a device that causes the man of steel to get older every time he uses his powers. But still, Terra-Man has never quite made the upper echelon of Superman foes – the idea of a cowboy riding a flying horse and using high-tech weapons was maybe a wee bit too “high concept” to really catch on. And the end of the issue doesn’t really help. If you don’t mind spoilers for a 50 year old comic, here goes: Superman realizes that since using his powers makes him older, NOT using them will make him young again. This is an utterly ludicrous supposition and there’s no reason to assume that such a thing would be true, which makes it even more infuriating that it works. Even sillier is the notion that, once he’s young again, the mark that Terra-Man put on him to cause the aging just…vanishes. This is why you’re a D-list villain, Terra-Man. Stuff like this.
But if you really wanna talk silly, let’s look at Superman #281 from 1974. This is the first appearance of Vartox, a character who – like Terra-Man – never quite cracked the A-list, but also has had a bit of a lingering fan base, which I think is mostly attributable to his ludicrous costume, clearly inspired by the Sean Connery movie Zardoz, which came out earlier that year. HE’s not even a villain, actually. He’s a superhero from another planet, who comes to Earth when his wife mysteriously dies. Turns out her “bionic twin” – an exact doppleganger on Earth – was murdered, which somehow triggered her death as well. He comes to Earth to catch the man who killed the twin (and, consequently, Vartox’s wife), but he knows he’ll have to reckon with Superman.
He’s got to be a villain. No hero would wear that vest.
Why the hell doesn’t it ever occur to these aliens to just ask Superman for help instead of coming up with some goofy, ludicrous, Fawlty Towers-level scheme?
Still, silly as he is, there’s something fun about Vartox, and it’s nice that he hasn’t been totally forgotten.
Sun., Feb. 9
Graphic Novel: Superman: Panic in the Sky (Reprints Action Comics #674-676, Adventures of Superman #488-490, Superman Vol. 2 #65-67, & Superman: The Man of Steel #9-11)
Comic Book: Justice League Spectacular #1
Everyone’s invited to this party!
Notes: As I mentioned a few weeks, ago I became a regular reader of the Superman comics with the Krisis of the Krimson Kryptonite storyline. That made Panic in the Sky, which came out a little more than a year later, my first “major” event story. It’s wild to look back at it now – eight issues, entirely self-contained in the Superman comics. If a story like this were attempted today, it would be its own miniseries with dozens of spinoffs and crossovers into every other DC title, but this compact little story was handled with ease. There was even room, in the most recent graphic novel edition, to add the next four issues of the weekly Superman books, which dealt with the fallout in various ways.
In this storyline, Brainiac has gained control of Warworld, as well as taken over the mind of the alternate universe refugee called Matrix, who also became this era’s Supergirl. Along with Draaga and Maxima (both of whom we last saw during the Krypton Man story), Brainiac set out to use Warworld to conquer the Earth. At the time, following the “Breakdowns” storyline, the Justice League was disbanded, so Superman put together a team of all the heroes of Earth (or at least the most popular ones they could get editorial permission to use over this two month period) to drive them off.
I have a deep affection for this story for several reasons. First of all, it was my first “big” storyline as a Superman reader, and it was also my first exposure to some of the lesser-known DC characters that would eventually grow to be favorites of mine. It was also pretty unique in that it brought Superman to the forefront of the superhero community, something that wasn’t being done much at the time. This was early 1992, and ever since John Byrne revamped Superman in 1987, he hadn’t been incorporated much into the greater DCU. He made appearances, especially in big crossover events, but he had never been a member of the Justice League and he didn’t have the close ties to Batman and Wonder Woman that are considered so fundamental to the character today.
This was a rare story, to see him step up and take command of so many heroes. It’s also odd that the first person he recruited to defend Earth was, of all people, Deathstroke. Deathstroke had mostly been a villain in the Teen Titans’ book, but he’d become popular enough to warrant his own title and, as happened to most villains who got their own book, there was a bit of an effort being made to rehabilitate him into more of an anti-hero. It worked to some extent, but eventually he broke bad again, and frankly, it works better for him.
Reading it again today, it feels a little off in some places. Some of the various characters don’t always sound quite like themselves, which was no doubt a consequence of the four writers playing Round Robin with them. Another such result was that it was hard to keep track of the minor characters – people like Valor, Starman, and Dr. Fate would appear in the invasion force on Warworld without having appeared previously or having been set up as part of the story at all. But damn, it was fun to see artist Jon Bogdanove do his best C.C. Beck impression whenever he got to draw Captain Marvel.
Then there’s this one…
The weirdest thing, though, is the Supergirl/Draaga relationship. In the first chapter, Draaga battles a Supergirl who is still wearing Superman’s form. As soon as she becomes herself again, Brainiac takes over her mind, and he maintains that hold for several issues. Then, once she’s free of Brainiac’s control, she’s apparently in love with Draaga. When did this happen? When did this relationship develop? And did they have to save the entire thing for the issue where Draaga makes a heroic sacrifice, giving his life to save her? I don’t mind the heroic sacrifice bit, it just feels like it comes out of nowhere. Although it does nicely set up how the naive Matrix was the sort to really fall into her emotions, which would become pretty important to her character in upcoming storylines involving Lex Luthor.
There are a few major components to this story that make it pretty significant, historically speaking. First, this was the story where Matrix/Supergirl finally came to Earth permanently and joined the Superman supporting cast, pretty much until Peter David launched her own ongoing title a few years later. Second, this is the story that broke the post-Crisis Superman of his “loner” status. Not long after this, he was part of the re-formed Justice League in the Justice League Spectacular one-shot (which I also read today, for funsies) where he’d stay until his battle with Doomsday.
There’s one last bit that’s not so much a significant fact as an amusing footnote. In the climactic battle, just before he’s defeated in Superman #66, Brainiac launches a device of some sort into Earth’s atmosphere. Several months later, when the Death of Superman storyline was announced, that issue got a temporary spike in popularity as speculators (they’re not a new phenomenon, folks) began to theorize that the probe was the point of origin for Doomsday, which no doubt would make that a super valuable book in the future. It wasn’t a bad theory, if not for the fact that anybody who read the VERY NEXT ISSUE (Superman #67) already knew EXACTLY what the probe was, a weapon to scourge a planet if Warworld was defeated, and that probe was beaten just 30 real-world days after it launched. It’s so important to read EVERYTHING, people.
As a storyline, Panic in the Sky has a few rough edges, but it’s an adventure I still think mostly holds up.
Mon., Feb. 10
Comics:DC Power: Rise of the Power Company #1 (Steel Cameo), Justice League America #61-64
Okay, I know I’ve seen this one before.
Notes: The world in general needs more John Henry Irons. He only has one quick scene in the DC Power special, but it seems that DC is planning to bring back the Power Company in a larger way. As this scene shows he’s got a relationship with Josiah Power, I’m hoping that when that “big way” hits, Steel has a big role to play in it.
I also continued reading Superman’s time in the Justice League in the 90s. That wasn’t originally on my bingo card, but reading the Justice League Spectacular issue yesterday made me want to continue. In these first four issues, Dan Jurgens decided to get classic, bringing in some old Justice League foes in the form of Weapons Master and Starbreaker. Jurgens, who was writing and drawing both this book and Superman at the time, faced an interesting challenge with this. You see, in this Post-Byrne universe, Superman had never been a member of the Justice League before, however, Jurgens was referenced old Justice League stories in which Superman had played an active part. He sidestepped it by having Superman refer to “one of the times I helped the old Justice League.” It’s not the worst way to avoid the issue, mind you. In the early days of the comic book, despite being full members, Superman and Batman didn’t always play an active part. They would be missing for an issue or most of an issue, giving space to the less-popular members, and occasionally pop in for a finale. In at least one issue that I’ve read this year, Superman shows up on the last page and the League starts to tell him about their latest adventure. So saying that he just “helped” the League a lot in the old days doesn’t really take a ton of mental gymnastics to accept.
On the other hand, both in Panic in the Sky and in these issues, a big deal is made out of the fact that Superman has always been a loner. He’s not a team player, they say, he’s someone who is most effective flying solo (excuse the pun). So how do you explain the fact that he was “helping” the Justice League every other month in the old days?
The character stuff in these issues is better once you manage to ignore the continuity snarls. There are a couple of major sources of conflict for Superman outside of the villains, both of which help form the shape of the book. Superman does not get along with Maxwell Lord, who seems like a smug opportunist even before the later Infinite Crisis turn the character would take. As Max is the one who first assembled this version of the League, he thinks that makes him in charge, a stance that Superman staunchly opposes. Similarly, he clashes with the League’s current Green Lantern, Guy Gardner. Part of the clash is because Guy, too, thinks he should be in charge, but even moreso, Guy is angry because his on-again off-again girlfriend Ice clearly has a crush on Superman. The Guy/Ice relationship was always an odd one. It only really makes sense in an “opposites attract” context, and works best in more of a humorous book, like the Giffen/DeMatteis Justice League book was before Jurgens took over and it became more of a straight superhero series. After that, having Ice together with a boorish lout like Guy didn’t really click.
Not to say I dislike Guy. The character is entertaining as anything – he is the living embodiment of “He’s an asshole, but he’s OUR asshole,” and the way he clashes with Superman in these issues feels perfectly in character for both of them at the time. The fact that Guy is going to be in the James Gunn movie, where he’ll be played by Nathan Fillion and, evidently, drawn by Kevin Maguire. There’s been nothing to indicate that Ice will be in the movie, of course, but I wonder if this is the dynamic Gunn is planning between the two characters. It could be a lot of fun if it is.
TV Episode: Superman and Lois, Season Two, Ep. 5, “Girl…You’ll Be a Woman, Soon.”
Notes: Lana’s daughter (and Jordan’s girlfriend) Sarah has her quinceanera, which is majorly ruined when Sarah’s dad makes a confession. Jonathan is juicing. Bizarro kills a character who got her name from the comics, but not much else. This is another episode that feels more like a CW soap opera than – as so many of my friends have told me – the best Superman ever. To be fair, when they say that they’re talking about Tyler Hoechlin’s performance and not the show itself, and this episode is a little light on Hoechlin. I still feel like the series is in a sophomore slump. I’m not giving up though, guys. Promise.
Tues., Feb. 11
Comics: Justice League America #65-68
James Gunn, take note…
Notes: I try not to pay too much attention to criticism for the upcoming Superman movie, mostly because I find that anybody who spends that much criticizing something they haven’t even watched yet is a troll, but there’s one element in particular that comes to mind as I read these issues of Justice League America: people worried that the film is introducing too many superheroes too fast. We know for certain that at least four other characters (not counting the usual Superman supporting cast) appear in the movie: Mr. Terrific, Metamorpho, Hawkgirl, and Guy Gardner. Some people seem to think that the movie will spend a lot of time on them to the detriment of Superman himself.
Let me explain why that’s not a logical argument: are you equally worried about the fact that the cast includes Perry White, Jimmy Olsen, Cat Grant, and Steve Lombard?
The way I see it, our hero has two workplaces: as Clark Kent he works at the Daily Planet and as Superman he works with the Justice League, and while I don’t want any of those characters to be cardboard, none of them require an entire movie’s worth of development either. If Hawkgirl doesn’t have any more screen time than Jimmy, I don’t think that’s going to be a bad thing.
I bring this up because I get a similar feeling reading these issues of Justice League America. Dan Jurgens took over after the legendary Keith Giffen/J.M. DeMatteis era of the book and made it more of a traditional superhero comic. The result is that Superman himself is mostly a side character. We spend a lot of time on the returning characters (Guy, Fire, Ice, Blue Beetle, and Booster Gold). A lot of the focus also falls on two of the new members of the League: the enigmatic Bloodwynd, whom Beetle becomes obsessed with investigating, and Superman’s former foe Maxima, who is trying to rehabilitate herself on Earth after the loss of her homeworld. Superman shows up, but for the most part he’s there to clash with Guy and Max and give Ice someone to moon over. He doesn’t even appear at all in issue #67, and when #68 begins the rest of the team is stomping around Metropolis on a kaiju-sized Guy Gardner ring construct trying to hunt him down because he never bothered to pick up his JLA signal device.
All of this makes it even more baffling when you realize the ten issues collected in the Superman and the Justice League America graphic novel (the Spectacular one-shot and issues #60-68) are pretty much his entire tenure with the team, because you know what happens in issue #69?
Doomsday happens.
I remember when these books came out. A huge deal was made of the fact that Jurgens was taking over the comic and that Superman was joining, so the fact that his tenure ended with his death about a year later is really bizarre. Jurgens himself didn’t stick with the book much longer after the Death of Superman storyline, and I have to wonder what the internal discussions were at the time. I can’t imagine the death had been mapped out at the time that the decision was made to add Superman to the JLA, so what happened when they realized he was going to be bumped from the book by virtue of not being alive?
Reading these issues like this, collected together for the first time in many years, it really feels like Jurgens was building up a lot of story points that he never got to resolve. I love the original Death and Return of Superman storyline. I think it’s an epic story and one of the most important touchstones in the character’s history. But I really wish I could get a VPN that lets me access the DC Universe Infinite app from an alternate universe where Superman wasn’t killed, the Jurgens Justice League run lasted longer, and these stories unspooled as originally intended.
Next week, it’s another theme! It’s time for Superman Vs. the Flash! I’m going to try to read and watch as many of the races between the Man of Steel and the Scarlet Speedster as I can find, and if there’s one in particular you want me to cover – either in comics or TV – make sure you let me know in the comments or in the Year of Superman Facebook Group!
Blake M. Petit 