Year of Superman Week 23: Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes

If you ask Joe Public what team Superman is a member of, pretty much everyone will bring up the Justice League. And they’re not wrong – Superman is a vital member of the League, and honestly, it doesn’t really feel like the JLA without the trinity of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman. (I love the Giffen/DeMatteis run, don’t get me wrong, but that’s the JLI.) But the thing is, the Justice League isn’t the FIRST team Clark Kent was a member of. And in truth, as far as his development as a character, I don’t think it’s even the most important. This week we’re going to look at the young people he inspired and who, in turn, helped shape him into the hero he is. Superman would still be Superman if he’d never joined the Justice League…but he’s not really the hero he is without the Legion of Super-Heroes. 

And the same goes for Superboy. And Supergirl. And Jonathan Kent, too. Because of reboot after reboot, there have been a lot of versions of the Legion over the years, and Clark, Conner, Kara, and Jon have each had their own incarnation. This week I’ll try to peek at each of them, talk about why the Legion matters so much to Superman, and discuss the best (and worst) of the 31st Century’s greatest heroes. 

The Legion is kind of complicated these days, thanks to DC’s constant rebooting of their timeline. If you aren’t already familiar with them and you’re looking for a little clarification, I wrote about their convoluted history in this Geek Punditry blog a couple of months ago. Please, go check it out. 

And as always, you can check out earlier blogs in the Year of Superman Archive!

Wed., June 4

Comics: Adventure Comics #247, Action Comics #276, Absolute Superman #8, Justice League Vs. Godzilla Vs. Kong 2 #1

The same thing happened to me when I tried to join the Webelos.

Notes: The Legion made its first appearance in Adventure Comics #247, during the period in which the headline character of that anthology series was Superboy. In this issue, beneath a Curt Swan cover that has become one of those legendary covers that gets “Homaged” again and again, Clark Kent is on the streets of Smallville when he is addressed as Superboy by a mysterious teenager he’s never met before. He switches to his other identity and zooms off, only to be met by another teenager calling him Clark, then a third. Horrified at first that his identity has been revealed, he is relieved when the teens tell him their secret: they are time-travelers. In their future, they are members of a club for superheroes inspired by the legendary exploits of Superboy, and they have come back in time to invite him to join. They bring him to the future, where he sees that Smallville has become a bustling…well…metropolis – but only by the standards of HIS time. In their time, it’s still considered a tiny community. The teens (Cosmic Boy, Saturn Girl, and Lightning Boy) put Superboy through a series of initiation tests, but each time he is distracted by a disaster that requires his attention. At first, he thinks he’s failed, but the heroes reveal that the disasters he stopped were of their own doing, and it was just an initiation stunt. Superboy joins the team and goes home, but joining them in the future soon becomes a recurring part of his adventures.

Like so many of the other characters I’ve looked at this year, this early version of the Legion feels terribly incomplete. Heck, it’s not even called the Legion of Super-Heroes yet, just the “Super-Hero Club.” The three founders are all there, but Lightning Boy would soon change his name to Lightning Lad, and all three would quickly adopt new uniforms that didn’t sport their full names across the chest like a Ben Cooper Halloween costume. The exact time period from which they hail vacillated over the next several stories before it finally, firmly, was set at 1,000 years in the future. And although only the three founders take active part in this first issue, we see other generic teens that I assume are intended to be other Legionnaires, including one that – in the digital version on DC Universe Infinite – appears to be re-colored to suggest that it’s Brainiac 5. But that’s kind of pointless, since we’ll see his first appearance shortly. 

There isn’t a ton of meat in this first appearance, but I guess the idea of Superboy having actual peers was too good, so they not only brought them back, but soon added Supergirl to the mix, even though she and Superboy were separated by about 20 years of time. But hey, it’s time travel, that’s not really an issue. The first time she encountered the Legion, she was rejected because she was suffering from Red Kryptonite exposure, which seems pretty mean when you consider they darn well should have known that Red K only lasts for 24 hours. But in Action Comics #276, she got her next chance.

This issue begins similar to Clark’s first encounter with the Legion. Linda Lee is walking around Midvale, lamenting the fact that she’s got no super-powered friends to hang out with. (I feel compelled to point out that this was 1961, and even the most embryonic form of the Teen Titans wouldn’t first appear until 1964, but isn’t it weird that they never had Supergirl join until the Matrix version in the 90s?) To her surprise, she’s soon approached by three girls with powers: one wearing a mask, one that can move through solid objects, and another who can split into three bodies. The girl with the mask removes it to reveal that she’s Saturn Girl, one of the members of the Legion Supergirl met before. If you need an explanation for why she bothered with the mask, the only answer I have is that in the Silver Age nobody was ever straightforward about ANYTHING. The girls – Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, and Triplicate Girl – take her to the future for a second shot at joining the Legion, this time alongside fellow prospective members Sun Boy, Bouncing Boy, and Brainiac 5. She is shocked at first to find that a descendant of one of her cousin’s greatest enemies is trying to be a hero, but is won over by his tender affection towards her. Supergirl is given a time-traveling membership like the one Superboy had, while Brainiac becomes a permanent member. Then, for absolutely no reason, she has a brief encounter in Atlantis, which only serves to lead up to a final panel where Linda remarks on the fact that she may not have a boyfriend in Midvale, but there’s an alien 1,000 years in the future AND a merman in Atlantis crushing on her, so it ain’t so bad.

Abysmal epilogue sequence aside, this is an interesting issue. It introduces not one, but FIVE significant Legionnaires (both Bouncing Boy and Sun Boy joined the team by the next time they turned up), and gives Supergirl a peer group like her cousin – in fact, the SAME one as her cousin. And just in case you’re worried about any timey-wimey problems arising from the fact that Superboy and Supergirl were members of the same team, they found ways to play with it. They established, for instance, that Saturn Girl placed a telepathic block on each of them, so that when they returned to their respective time periods, they would lose any memories they’d gained that would be relevant to their own future. Practically, this meant that Superboy only remembered that one day his superpowered cousin would come to Earth when he was actually in the future. They also usually avoided having both of them appear in a Legion story at the same time, so it didn’t come up too often.

Over the years, they would each bond with the Legion, and this is where I really think this group becomes important. The JLA is Superman’s team, sure, and he is close to several of them. Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman in particular are called the DC “Trinity,” and their friendship is important, the stuff of legend.

But those are the friends he has as an adult. The Legion are his childhood friends, and that’s important. That’s special. As we learned from stories such as Stand By Me and The Sandlot, the friends we have when we’re young are a fundamental part of shaping who we are as adults. And there’s been more than one story that demonstrates just how important the Legion of Super-Heroes is to making Superboy become the Superman of legend. 

At least, until Man of Steel in 1986 upended everything by that declaring that Clark Kent had never had a career as Superboy. That change in the timeline would have catastrophic consequences for the Legion of Super-Heroes. 

But I’ll read about that tomorrow. For now, why not join me in a look at the two Superman-related comics that hit the shops this week? 

Someone’s gonna pay for that window.

Absolute Superman #8 begins the second story arc of the series. Visiting Martha Kent in Smallville, Kal-El is approached by Lois Lane…unfortunately, she’s followed by the rest of Lazarus, the Peacemakers, the Omega Men, and – oh yeah – a sniper with Kryptonite bullets. Jason Aaron keeps mixing up the DC Universe here, taking familiar pieces and putting them in unfamiliar positions, like plucking a Lego brick from a castle set and using it to build a spaceship. It’s a fun exercise, though, and I keep enjoying the stuff they’re doing.  

We also get the first issue of Justice League Vs. Godzilla Vs. Kong 2. Picking up a few years after the end of the previous miniseries, it’s Barry Allen’s wedding day! Unfortunately, he still hasn’t told Iris his secret identity. As the League tries to coax him into doing so, Amanda Waller reactivates Task Force X to deal with a resurgence of Titans (not the Teen ones – that’s what they call Kaiju in the Legendary Monsterverse). I love these crossovers, and I think it’s very interesting that, for the next few months at least, Godzilla is going to feature in comics from no less than THREE American publishers: the Monsterverse version here, the Toho version fighting the Marvel Universe over there, and all the wild iterations in the regular Godzilla comics from IDW Publishing. 

Thur., June 5

Comics: Legion of Super-Heroes Vol. 3 #37, Superman Vol. 2 #8, Action Comics #591, Legion of Super-Heroes Vol. 3 #48, Secret Six Vol. 5 #3 (Super Son)

Who says you can’t go home and have a fight with another iteration of yourself from a parallel pocket dimension again?

Notes: I’ve written at length about John Byrne’s Man of Steel in 1986 and how that reboot changed the Superman mythos. But one aspect I haven’t talked about that much is the Legion. As a team who not only had Superboy and Supergirl as members, but whose entire existence was INSPIRED by Superboy, after DC changed their continuity to declare that Superboy and Supergirl never existed, how could they explain the Legion? The solution came in this four-part story from 1987, beginning in Legion of Super-Heroes Vol. 3 #37.

Cosmic Boy, having recently returned from a visit to the 20th century (in his own self-titled miniseries) reports that the past has been altered, and the Legion has to investigate. A time storm hurls them to the past, to a Smallville populated by Superboy – a time that Cosmic Boy has reported no longer exists. Arriving in Smallville, the team splits in half – one group making contact with Superboy, the others staying with the time bubble. Superboy ambushes the team, though, trapping them in a stasis-beam. When Pete Ross (an honorary Legionnaire) warns the others what Superboy has done, they attempt to flee. And in the distant future, the Legion’s old enemy the Time Trapper revels in the chaos he is sewing. Part two comes in Superman #8, set in the “present day” of 1987, where we begin with John Byrne’s Clark Kent using his powers to help Lana fix up the farm she is returning to after years away. His super-senses detect a time bubble with four super-powered teenagers appearing across Smallville, and they get into one of those required “heroes fight heroes over a misunderstanding” situations before Brainiac 5 calls an end to hostilities. Brainy tells Superman about their history with Superboy, a history he has no memory of, and as they prepare to seek answers, Superboy appears and captures the five of them in his stasis ray. 

Action Comics #591 gives us part three of the story: Superboy is being forced to attack his friends by the Time Trapper, who reveals that Superboy’s entire existence is part of a trap laid for the Legion. Over the centuries, stories of Superman’s legend had been changed, making the Legion believe in a “Superboy” era that never existed. When they first decided to time travel and meet Superboy (back in Adventures #247), the Trapper created an entire pocket universe that matched their skewed legends of Clark Kent. It was THIS Superboy that the Legion befriended, who joined them, and who they visited every time they traveled to the past. But unable to betray his friends, Superboy altered the stasis beam so Superman would escape and chase them, ultimately landing in the pocket universe. Superboy and the Legion reconcile and go to the future, returning Superman to his own universe – but this wouldn’t be his last encounter with the Pocket Universe.

We’ll get to that some other week.

The story ends tragically in Legion #38. As Superboy and the Legion confront the Time Trapper, he reveals that one of his machines has protected the Pocket Universe from the multiversal devastation that happened in Crisis on Infinite Earths. In the skies above Smallville, Superboy sacrifices his life to save his universe from destruction. The Legion brings his body back to the 30th century to mourn…with an eye towards revenge against the Time Trapper once and for all.

Paul Levitz, longtime Legion writer, had a tough task here. Remove Superboy from the board, recognize that the “real” Superman was never Superboy and never a member of the Legion, but do so in a way that was still respectful to the Legion’s history. I think he did as good a job as anybody possibly could. The “Pocket Universe” conceit manages to keep every story where Superboy, Supergirl, or the Super-Pets encountered the Legion canonical, even if they’re only canon to the Legion and not the rest of the DC Universe. Furthermore, even though Superboy may never have been “real” in the first place, Levitz gave him a sendoff worthy of the Man of Steel that he would never grow up to be — sacrificing himself to save his world is the kind of thing members of the House of El do. Kara did it in the Crisis, The Post-Crisis Superman would do it on the streets of Metropolis a few years later. Self-sacrifice is hardwired in the DNA of the Superman family, and this story demonstrated that nicely. 

Which makes it a little frustrating that six years later, Zero Hour would throw it all out the window.

Fri., June 6

Comics: “Future Tense” storyline: Superboy Vol. 3 #21, Legion of Super-Heroes Vol. 4 #74, Legionnaires #31; The Legion #25-33, Legion Secret Files 3003, Teen Titans Vol. 3 #16, Teen Titans/Legion Special

Be honest, are you Team Leather Jacket or Team T-Shirt?

Notes: The Crisis was intended to streamline the DC Multiverse, and while it was largely successful, there were loose ends that just…dangled. It caused problems for a while, and in 1993 Dan Jurgens tried to close off those issues in Zero Hour: A Crisis in Time. It was a good story, and one of the changes it wrought was a reboot of the Legion of Super-Heroes. As Man of Steel did for Superman, the Legion reboot started the characters over from page one – they were teens again, the names and costumes were made a little less “Silver Age-y” (Lightning Lad, for instance, became Live Wire, Triplicate Girl became Triad, and so forth), and in this continuity, the Legion was inspired generally by the heroes of the past, and not Superboy or Superman specifically.  Our new Superboy, the one we met in “Reign of the Supermen,” had his own title by now, and first encountered the Legion in a three-part story called “Future Tense” from 1995. 

The Legion travels back in time to rescue Valor, a rebooted version of their own Mon-El (it’s a long story) that Superboy had encountered a few issues ago in his title. After the requisite “fight over a misunderstanding” happens, Superboy tells the Legion how Valor had nearly died from lead poisoning until he entered a “zone where time stands still,” because there was NO way they would be allowed to call it the “Phantom Zone.” Brainiac 5 tries to reopen the zone until, frustrated by the technology of the time, he warps all of them – Superboy included – back to their home in the 30th century. Things get more complicated when Superboy accidentally lets it slip that Valor – who, in the past millennia, has become a religious figure – is returning, causing a massive upheaval among the millions of Valorites across the galaxy. The Legion makes it look as though their attempt to rescue Valor fails, getting his devotees to back off, then rescue him for real in private before sending Superboy home.

This story was pretty emblematic of both the Legion and Superboy of the time. They’re young and they’re highly emotional. In this version, for instance, Triad’s three different bodies each have different parts of her personality, and one of her immediately gets the hots for Superboy. Superboy, meanwhile, was in his hotheaded stage, and certain members of the Legion took severe umbrage to that, specifically Leviathan (this incarnation’s version of Colossal Boy) and Brainiac 5 himself. Still, he does manage to prove his worth, and at the end of the three issues Cosmic Boy (whose name did NOT get updated) makes him an honorary member of the Legion. The kid and the team would encounter each other occasionally over the next few years, through assorted time travel shenanigans, but we wouldn’t see Superboy as a full member until 2003. 

At this point, both the Legion and Superboy had gone through some dark times, the former having its series restarted as just The Legion, and the latter having his series cancelled and being jutted over into Teen Titans. So it was surprising to see him show up on the cover to The Legion #25, wearing a classic Superman costume rather than his own uniform, no less. The story was a bit different – after an issue largely spent recapping their recent tragedies and stacking the new status quo, they found Superboy drifting inexplicably through space. This kicks off the six-part “Foundations” storyline, in which Superboy and the Legion face off against Darkseid and wind up meeting a time-tossed Clark Kent, still a teenager, before he ever put on a superhero costume. It’s a great story, really, although it is HEAVILY mired in the stuff that had happened in the Legion in the last few years, and it would probably be unadvisable to read on its own – I feel like it would be really confusing to anyone who wasn’t familiar with “Legion of the Damned” or the stories that followed it. 

The important thing is that it showed Superboy maturing, becoming a better person and a better hero, and that’s all to the good. Superboy stuck around with the team for the rest of the run, which was all well and good…except that he was also appearing concurrently in Teen Titans with no explanation. After Legion ended with issue #38, we got a two-part story wrapping everything up. In Teen Titans #16, Conner is having lunch with Cassie (Wonder Girl) when he’s plucked up by the Stargate that sent him to the 31st Century. He reappears a moment later, now wearing his Legion uniform, telling Cassie that he needs the Titans to help save the future. So his entire tenure in the Legion, presumably, takes place between those two panels: pencil that in, continuity nerds. Anyway, they’re attacked by the Persuader, and Superboy brings the Titans to the 31st Century, where the Fatal Five have created a Legion of their own to attack Earth: an army of Fatal Fives from throughout the multiverse. Fortunately, Brainiac 5 has a plan, but it requires the work of TWO speedsters: the Legion’s XS and her cousin, Bart Allen, aka Kid Flash. They manage to defeat the Five, but the Legion is lost in the timestream, all except for Shikkari, who finds herself in another world, where the Legion is…different.

Yep. Time for another reboot.

This iteration of the Legion lasted 10 years, and it’s the first one I ever read as a regular reader. As such, I have great affection for it. The stories were solid, with a classic flavor that still felt modern, and the art was wonderful. I was really sorry to see it end, but I’m glad that when it went, at least there was a member of the House of El standing with them in what looked – at the time – like their final moments. But we would see this Legion again.

Just not yet. 

Sat., June 7

Graphic Novel: Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes: Strange Visitor From Another Century (Collects Legion of Super-Heroes Vol. 5 #14, Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes #16-19)

“Don’t ask ME, I thought she was DEAD.”

Notes: The “Threeboot” Legion that followed the Titans/Legion special was an interesting beast. Written by Mark Waid, with art by Barry Kitson, this newest iteration gave us a Legion inspired by stories of the heroes of the past that much of the population believed to be mere legends – nobody really BELIEVED that the likes of Superman, Batman, or Wonder Woman had ever existed. Society had grown increasingly distant and oppressive – people stayed home, alone, communicating electronically but rarely seeing one another in person. What’s more, the youth of the galaxy were particularly downtrodden, with free thinking suppressed to make sure everyone conformed. In this universe, the Legion were a group of super-powered teens who rejected this system. They adopted costumes and code-names inspired by the heroes of the past and started a movement, with other young people from across the galaxy joining them.

The volume I read today picks up after their first few adventures, where they’ve proven their worth and the United Planets has reluctantly deputized them as a peacekeeping force. As the Legion licks their wounds from a recent loss, things are tossed into upheaval when a young woman professing to be the legendary Supergirl appears. Much of the galaxy believes that she’s a hoax, because they think Supergirl is a fictional character. As for Supergirl herself, this is the Kara Zor-El who climbed out of a rocket in Gotham Harbor only a few months ago (by her reckoning, but not much longer in real time). Between her adventures with her cousin, Batman, and Wonder Woman, the devastation of the Crisis, and now finding herself 1000 years in the future, the trauma has begun to affect her mind and she believes that everything that has happened to her – including her existence in the Legion’s time – is a dream, and that any minute she’s going to wake up back on Krypton.

Waid had already created a world for the Legion dissimilar from the previous two, and this was a Supergirl that was different from any other Superman family member who’d ever joined the Legion. Despite that, though, it all worked. While the WORLD was different, the Legionnaires were staunchly themselves: Cosmic Boy was the consummate leader, Lightning Lad was impulsive, Brainiac 5 an arrogant jerk who was mainly tolerated because he actually WAS the smartest one in the room as opposed to just somebody who thought he was. There were some revisions, of course – previous iterations of Shrinking Violet had often been quiet and timid, but Waid reimagined her as the ass-kicking master of espionage that somebody with her power set would logically have the ability to be. 

Meanwhile, we’ve got this traumatized Supergirl floating around with this crew, somebody who doesn’t believe that anything happening around her is actually real. Which makes it all the more impressive, I think, that she continues to act every inch the hero. She saves lives, stops disasters, fights villains, even though she believes that it’s all a dream and that nothing around her will have any consequences. Perhaps it’s the level of her consciousness that knows it’s NOT a delusion, perhaps it’s just that Kara Zor-El can’t help but help people no matter the circumstances. Whatever it is, it made for a unique dynamic. Supergirl stayed with the book for a couple of years, going home in issue #36, and the series itself ended at issue #50.

But even before this version of the Legion went away, we got glimpses of what was next. 

Sun., June 8

Graphic Novel: Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes, collects Action Comics #858-863

Now THIS is going home again.

Notes: I don’t mind telling you that Geoff Johns is one of my favorite comic book writers. His strengths, as I think he proved with his tenures on Flash and Green Lantern, come when he takes the framework of the past and expands upon them. He’s the writer, for instance, who used the existence of Sinestro’s yellow ring to extrapolate an entire Sinestro Corps, and from there, a different corps of Lanterns for each color of the spectrum. His runs on Superman have been short, but what he did with the six issues of “Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes” from 2007 and 2008 is one of my favorite examples of his work. Although it was running concurrently with the Supergirl and the Legion series, in this storyline Johns brought back something that had been lost from Superman’s past, much as earlier writers had brought back Krypto, the Phantom Zone, and Supergirl: he was restoring Superman’s history with the Legion.

Johns and artist Gary Frank, who would reunite in 2009 for Superman: Secret Origin, kick things off with a bang. Superman is contacted by a probe from the future sent by Brainiac 5 reactivate suppressed memories of his past with the Legion. Suddenly, Superman remembers meeting the Legion founders, being invited to join the team, and losing contact with them after the Crisis. (I know there have been a LOT of Crises in the DCU – typically they’re referring to the original Crisis on Infinite Earths when they use the definite article, i.e. THE Crisis.) The probe brings him to the future where things have gone horribly wrong: Something has turned the sun red, diminishing Superman’s powers. Earth is being run by a xenophobic “Justice League” led by a fascist calling himself Earth-Man that has made the Legion, with its many alien members, outlaws. Oh yes – and Brainiac 5, the Legionnaire who brought Superman to the future, is missing. Earth-Man, as it turns out, is a Legion reject who can absorb powers from others. He built a following claiming that Superman was a human, not an alien, and in fact was staunchly opposed to the presence of aliens on Earth. He’s been capturing the non-human Legionnaires and stealing their powers in his quest for conquest. 

Superman and the few remaining Legionnaires manage to escape Earth and track Brainiac 5 to his homeworld of Colu, the only planet in the galaxy more xenophobic than Earth. They gather Brainy and a few others, including the Legion of Substitute Heroes, and together launch an assault on the Justice League on Earth, where they learn that Earth-Man has been using the captive Sun Boy to make our sun red, weakening Superman. In the climactic battle, a powerless Superman faces an Earth-Man with the power of the entire Legion flowing through him…but there’s one thing that Superman has that Earth-Man never will.

His friends.

I cannot express enough how much I love this story. There are plenty of stories of Superboy with the Legion, and those are great, but this is one of the few stories of the Legion fighting with an adult Superman, and that’s a dynamic I want to see more of. (Recent hints in the current Superman comic books are giving me hopes that we’ll see more of that soon, but I digress.) Like I said earlier this week, Superman with the Legion is a group of friends. The tone feels more like the Titans than the Justice League, a found family standing together rather than a group of disparate heroes united for a common cause. That “found family” trope is always something that resonates with me, and I love seeing Superman as a part of it.

It’s also good to see a story that makes its points without preaching or turning into a polemic. There’s a definite message here, with Earth-Man’s hatred of anyone not from Earth, but that message is secondary to the story. Not that Johns and Frank were subtle about it – Earth-Man’s costume is as close to a Nazi uniform as you can get without actually applying swastikas, and his real name is the egregiously German Kirt Niedrigh, juuuuuuuuuust in case we didn’t get what they were going for. But parallels to World War II aside, the story also has a point to make about being an outsider. Bringing the Subs in makes it even better, having them act as a foil for Earth-Man – they were rejected from the Legion just as he was, but rather than turning into monsters, they used their disappointment as fuel to become something good. 

There are plenty of questions raised by this story, of course. First of all, which Legion is this, exactly? It’s an older Legion: despite still having words like “Boy,” “Lad,” Kid,” and “Girl” in their code-names, they all appear to be roughly the same age as Superman. But the costumes and past they share with Clark seem to indicate this is a continuity that continued the characters from some point prior to the controversial “Five Years Later” era (which was the final era of the original Legion before the reboot in 1993, beginning between their second and third encounters with the time-traveling Superman in Time and Time Again). If that’s them, how are they coexisting with Supergirl’s Legion, which I remind you, was being published in their own series at this point? Who, or what, was the “real” Legion of Super-Heroes?

To answer that question, DC again turned to Geoff Johns, in what is my single favorite Legion story of all time. 

Mon., June 9

Comics: Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds #1-5

Get ready for the most egregiously misnamed Crisis of them all!

Notes: In 2008, Geoff Johns and George Perez teamed up for this five-issue miniseries. While ostensibly a spin-off of Grant Morrison’s Final Crisis event, it really has nothing to do with the larger storyline of that series and can be read independently of it. I still may get to the main Final Crisis story at some point, since the conclusion is pretty Superman-centric, but for today I’m just going to focus on this Legion story. 

Superboy-Prime, insane survivor of Earth-Prime (see Crisis on Infinite Earths and Infinite Crisis for the full backstory if you don’t already know it) is plucked by the Time Trapper and hurled to the Legion’s time period. Finding the Superman Museum in Smallville, Prime is horrified to discover that he’s only a footnote in Superman’s Hall of Villains, and even worse, is pushed further over the edge by the veneration of Conner Kent, the Superboy that Prime murdered in Infinite Crisis. In Metropolis, meanwhile, the United Planets is turning against the Legion, whose members are in disarray. Brainiac 5 has been stripped of his Brainiac title by his home planet, Mon-El is suffering from the lead poisoning that plagues all Daxamites, and Sun Boy’s powers haven’t returned since his torture at the hands of Earth-Man. Things get progressively worse as Prime springs all of the Legion’s enemies from prison, creating an entire Legion of Super-Villains. The real Legion brings Superman back to their time to aid them, and Brainiac 5 reveals his plan: fight a Legion with a TRUE Legion – by summoning the Legions of two other worlds in the multiverse.

Brainy uses the Crystal Ball that the Justice League and Justice Society used for their very first team-up in the Silver Age to summon the other two Legions – the Reboot Legion that Conner had been a member of, and the Threeboot Legion that had welcomed Kara. Superman and the assembled Legions battle Prime’s army as Brainy enacts Stage Two of his plan: assembling all the electrical-powered Legionnaires to charge up XS and use her to pull her cousin, the presumed-dead Bart Allen, from the Speed Force to rejoin them as Kid Flash. Finally, the Brainiacs use Time Travel to implement Phase Three of their plan: a version of Starman in the 21st century robs a certain grave and transports its inhabitant to the Antarctic. A thousand years later, the Brainiacs unearth the body, which has been slowly healing and rebuilding for a millennia in the same Kryptonian device that brought Superman back after his battle with Doomsday. The final piece to restore him is a hair from one of his genetic donors – Lex Luthor (taken, naturally, from a point in the past BEFORE he went bald). After a thousand years, Conner Kent lives again. 

The battle rages on two fronts – Superboy, Kid Flash and the Legions versus Prime in the Arctic, Superman and the original founders versus the Time Trapper in deep space. It turns out the two battles are really one: this iteration of the Trapper is a future version of Superboy-Prime himself. But for all his power, all his anger, in the final battle, the Legion lives.

Ever since Man of Steel, the Legion’s continuity had become a mess, with two reboots failing to make things simpler, since their interactions with the heroes of the present kept contradicting each other. Legion of 3 Worlds finally solved the problem by establishing that each of the three Legions was from a different world of the Multiverse. The original Legion, the one that Clark had been a member of in his youth, was from the future of DC’s main universe. The Reboot Legion, Conner’s Legion, was from Earth-247, a world that had been destroyed in a Crisis, but not one of the ones that was restored when the Multiverse was brought back. And Kara’s Threeboot Legion, amazingly, was from the future of Earth-Prime, the world where all of the DC Comics heroes exist as fictional characters. All those times in Waid’s run when people had insisted to the Legion that the ancient stories about Superman and the Justice League weren’t real? In their universe, they were right

So not only was the Legion clarified in a way that made sense, but Johns used it to bring back two of the Teen Titans he’d written in an immensely satisfying way, and even used this miniseries as a springboard for the return of the Green Lantern Corps in the 31st century. The Legion was finally clear, established in a way that made sense, and ready for action. And it was done in a way that made all three Legions legitimate and viable, and set each of them up so that they could be used in different ways across the tales of the DC Multiverse. He even managed to codify the importance of the Legion in Superman’s history, explicitly stating (via R.J. Brande) that it was his interactions with Cosmic Boy, Saturn Girl, and Lightning Lad that taught young Clark Kent what it meant to be a hero, and that he would in turn become the inspiration for heroes for the next 1,000 years. It was the perfect fix and the perfect fit. 

Why, DC? WHY THE HELL DID YOU DECIDE TO REBOOT THEM YET AGAIN???

Tue., June 10

Comics: Superman Vol. 5 #14, 15

If you people ever doubt that I love you, remember that I read this comic again so I could write about it.

Notes: A few years post-Final Crisis, as we all know, DC rebooted their entire universe in the New 52 relaunch, including both Superman and the Legion. Once again, Superman was divorced from the roots of the Legion, but other than that, the Legion was one of the properties that was relatively unchanged. But it didn’t set sales on fire, either, and the New 52 version was quietly cancelled after two years. After that, their appearances became sporadic for a while until 2018, when Marvel superstar Brian Michael Bendis was hired by DC to take over the Superman comics.

I’m going to be blunt, guys, I’m not typically a fan of Bendis’s work. I don’t want to spend all day explaining the reasons why, but I don’t think I’ll need to, as my Legion-specific criticisms will make it clear. The biggest issue I had with his run was his treatment of Jon Kent. Lois and Clark’s son had been around in comics for a few years, and was about 10 years old. The stories of Clark raising his son were magnificent. They were fresh, they were original, they were something that we rarely saw in comics: an adult superhero teaching his child what it means to BE a hero is a dynamic that, somehow, had gone almost ignored in the 80 years that the superhero genre had been around. So when Bendis took over, of course, the first thing he did was have Jon fall into a spacehole with his grandfather and come out as a teenager. 

It’s more complicated than that, but the gist of it was that sweet and joyful Jon was now an angst-filled teenage superhero, of which we have thousands, and like most teenage superheroes his stories quickly began to drift towards “adults screw everything up, but kids MY age know better.” It’s a tired, stale trope that we’ve seen a billion times. But there is one good thing I can say about Bendis’s Superman comics: compared to his work on Legion of Super-Heroes, his Superman looks like Watchmen. 

It started in issue #14 of his Superman run, the tail end of a story arc about Superman, Supergirl, and Superboy teaming up with General Zod to capture an alien who has responsible for the destruction of Krypton. At the end of the story, the Kryptonians are brought before a coalition of alien races who were caught up in their battle, and Jon says something along the lines of, “On Earth, we have a thing called the United Nations…” Then, after his dad gives a brief speech about working together, a time portal opens. And the new, re-re-rebooted Legion of Super-Heroes spills out of it and offers Jon membership because he just invented the United Planets by saying ten words that point out something that already exists, and thus he’s the most important historical figure of the past 1,000 years.

I’m getting a headache.

In issue #15 of Superman, the word of Jon’s AMAAAAAZING insight starts to spread. Adam Strange even says “I can’t believe I’ve been out here this entire time and I didn’t think of it.” (Neither can anyone else, Adam – didn’t you ever watch Star Trek? For that matter, are we really supposed to believe that NOBODY had ever thought of this idea before in the ENTIRE GALAXY?) Then the Legion offers to take Jon to the future with them, because he’s so smart and awesome and cool and they wanna be friends with them. He winds up going and joins them for Bendis’s 12-issue Legion series which…I should read it again today. In the interest of fairness, I should read it again for this blog, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. It…it just wasn’t the Legion.

Yeah, the character names were mostly the same. So were the powers. And they were in the 31st century. But everything that makes the Legion entertaining was entirely absent. The characterizations were…I can’t even say they were WRONG, they were GONE. The members of this team had no life, no personality, other than being ASTONISHED that the GREAT JONATHAN KENT WAS THERE. It was like reading about Jon and the Legion of Sycophants. That’s another Bendisian trait, by the way – he introduces a younger version of the hero, then all of the other characters walk around and talk about how much better the new version is than the old one. (If you think I’m exaggerating, I offer the following as evidence: Miles Morales, Ironheart, and the teenage X-Men who were brought forward in time because Beast thought their adult versions sucked.) It was in full force here, with the Legion telling us how Jon – not Clark – would be remembered as THE Superman, as THE character who saved the galaxy. And I’m sorry, if you’re going to make a claim like that, you gotta convince me of it.

There were also a ton of arbitrary changes that drove me crazy, such as making Mon-El a Kryptonian descendant of Superman rather than a Daxamite like he’s been for his entire existence. And as usual, Bendis included his own characters (which is fair) like a new version of Dr. Fate (oooookay) and a Gold Lantern whose powers and history were ill-defined and didn’t really seem to add anything to the story. I made it through the 12 issues of his run, but when he closed it off with a six-issue Justice League Vs. the Legion of Super-Heroes miniseries I couldn’t even bring myself to buy the comics, reading it instead when it came to DC Universe Infinite and still feeling as though I’d overpaid. 

Since that miniseries ended, again, the Legion has returned to sporadic appearances. Some of them have reflected the Bendis Legion, but others evoke Legions of the past. Mark Waid himself went on the record recently to tell us that DC has plans for the Legion that he thinks will make everyone happy, and we’ve already seen glimpses of that in the DC All In Special and (appropriately) the Superman titles. We’ve been promised that Superman #29 (coming out in August) will feature Superman and a “mysterious ally” searching for the lost Legion of Super-Heroes. I’m anxious and I’m optimistic. For the most part, DC’s “All In” titles have been very satisfying, and if the new Legion (whatever it is) has Mark Waid’s stamp of approval, that gives me reason to hope. Because the Legion, at its best, is not JUST a team of heroes from the future. It’s about hope for the future, just as much as Superman is. And it’s a fundamental part of who and what Superman is. It’s one of the greatest concepts in comics, and it deserves to be treated as such.

So here’s hoping that, whatever begins in August, it ends with a story that leaves us all ready to slip on our flight rings, thrust our fists into the air, and join with a battle cry that will echo back ten centuries:

Even Brainiac 5 is irritated by Brainiac 5.

But you know, I can’t end it here. I can’t conclude my look at one of my favorite pieces of the entire Superman mythology with a discussion of their worst version. So how about a little bonus? Let’s join hands, hop in Brainiac 5’s Time Bubble, and zip back to 2006 so we can watch the first episode of the Legion of Super-Heroes animated series together, shall we?

TV Episode: Legion of Super-Heroes Season 1, Episode 1: “Man of Tomorrow”

It ain’t the Diniverse, but it’s still pretty dang good.

Notes: Young Clark Kent is about to leave home. He’s packing up and heading away from Smallville to go to Metropolis, where he’s got a job as a copy boy at the Daily Planet. On the night before he’s supposed to head to the big city, though, he’s approached by a group of super-powered teenagers from the future, teens who know about the powers he’s kept hidden his entire life. He won’t miss a thing, they promise, they can return him to the moment he left – and tantalized by the idea of not having to hide himself, he goes with them. Arriving in the future, he discovers that they need his help combatting their foes, the Fatal Five. In the end, Clark takes the costume he learns he’ll have someday and, as Superman, joins the Legion.

I love this cartoon. It’s the purest expression of my favorite thing about the Legion, namely that it helps shape Clark Kent into Superman while, at the same time, being inspired BY Superman. It’s a bit more literal in this version than others – the Clark that joins this Legion hasn’t ever really been in a fight and hasn’t learned how to use all of his powers yet. The Legion has plenty to teach him, and over the first season of the show, we see him grow and blossom. The second season takes place after a time skip, returning to the future after a few years away. It was an interesting retool, but ultimately the show only lasted for those two seasons. If you love the Legion like I do, though, it’s well worth seeking them out and watching them.

After all, we Legionnaires need SOMETHING to keep us occupied between now and August. 

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can join in the Kryptonian Konversation every day in the Year of Superman Facebook Group!

Geek Punditry #127: Revival Vs. Reboot

As you no doubt have heard by now, at least partially because I’ve mentioned it here two weeks in a row, Disney’s brought back its fantastic animated series Phineas and Ferb, and the first part of the new season dropped on Disney+ today. It may surprise you, then, to know that as of this writing, I haven’t watched it yet. You see, I have to wait for my wife to get home from work, because as any competent marriage therapist would tell you, holding off on watching coveted television programming until your spouse is available to watch it with you is a love language. 

But I don’t want to talk about Phineas and Ferb specifically today, I want to talk about what it represents: the TV Revival. That concept of bringing back old TV shows from the dead. It’s not a new idea, of course. The history of television is littered with shows that were cancelled and then came back after some time. Game shows like Jeopardy, Supermarket Sweep, and Let’s Make a Deal are all better remembered from their second incarnation than the original, for example. The 80s gave us resurrected versions of old sitcoms like Leave it to Beaver and The Munsters. And for a time, it was popular to continue a TV series by creating an animated version, as they did with the likes of Star Trek, Happy Days, or Gilligan’s Island. 

It’s like time stood still.

But in recent years, where studio executives are more hesitant than ever to take a chance on a new idea, it seems as though the revival has become a fundamental part of the television landscape. Is anybody going to want to watch a comedy about the goings-on at a municipal courthouse? Maybe not…unless we remind them that they already DID a few decades ago by making that show a new version of Night Court. Go ahead and look at any current network TV schedule (or spin through the offerings of a streaming service) and you’ll be astonished at just how much of the current episodic landscape is stuffed to the gills with shows that have relaunched older ones. I don’t object to revivals as a concept, but like anything else in the sphere of entertainment, I fear that we’ve reached a point of saturation where they’ve become a crutch rather than a tool.

That said, that doesn’t mean resurrecting an old show can’t be successful. But what, exactly, does it take to make a good one? The creators of Phineas and Ferb released a video to social media a few days ago, ramping up to the new season, where they very explicitly chanted “It’s not a reboot – it’s a REVIVAL!” It’s an important distinction, although I think there are a lot of people who don’t understand the difference. A reboot, to me, means starting a franchise over from scratch. You take the concepts, the tropes, the characters, but begin from square one, as though there had never been a previous iteration. Wednesday is a good example of this – there’s nothing that specifically ties it to the canon of any of the previous versions of the Addams Family – not the original TV series, the animated series, the 90s film series, the more recent animated films, the Broadway musical, or the original comic strips that the whole franchise was based on. It’s using the pieces of the older shows, but it is inherently its own thing. So yeah, reboots CAN be good.

In general, though, I prefer a revival – you’re not eliminating the previous canon. You’re not starting over. You’re just picking up where you left off. The original Phineas and Ferb took place across one epic summer. The new season – which they wisely promote as “Season Five” rather than “Season One” of a new series – starts one year later, at the beginning of the NEXT epic summer. Night Court returned to the same courtroom after an absence of many years, bringing back one returning character and one new character who was the child of an original. You get a revival more often when the old cast – or at least some of them – is still active and wants to return. We’ll be getting that with the new version of King of the Hill, coming to Hulu soon, and creator Bill Lawrence has announced a Scrubs revival where – although nobody has officially signed on yet – many original cast members have expressed interest in returning.

If this picture doesn’t make you vaguely uncomfortable, you’re too young.

Sometimes it can be difficult to tell whether a show is a revival or a reboot at first. In 2005, when the BBC brought back its defunct science fiction series Doctor Who, it wasn’t immediately clear if the old shows were in canon or not. And as part of the Doctor’s whole deal is that he occasionally regenerates into a new body, you couldn’t even make up your mind based on the fact that there were no returning cast members. Slowly, references to the old series started to appear, and eventually it was made explicit that this was a continuation – not only of the old series, but it even included the American co-produced TV movie that had tried (and failed) to revive the franchise a decade before. The show has been reinvented many times since then, and the DNA of the franchise makes it fairly easy to do so, but every version has thankfully been a revival rather than a reboot.

This straight-up wouldn’t work with a revival of The Andy Griffith Show.

The reason I prefer revivals is because a reboot has a tendency to dismiss the original. It takes place in a universe where the original didn’t happen and doesn’t matter, and that makes no sense to me. From the perspective of a studio, the only advantage a revival or reboot has over a brand-new property is the built-in audience, so why would you START by declaring that the thing the audience loved doesn’t exist anymore? Paul Feig and the cast of the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot will claim until their dying breath that their film failed at the box office because the fans were put off by the all-female cast, but any conversation with a true fan of the franchise will make it pretty clear the reason it was rejected was because fans wanted a revival. And when they got a true revival a few years later with Ghostbusters: Afterlife (with a main character that was a preteen girl), fans were delighted. 

That’s not to say that a reboot CAN’T be good. When J.J. Abrams was given the task of rebooting Star Trek for the big screen, he wisely took the track of making it an alternate universe. A villain traveled back in time and created an alternate reality in which these new films would take place. The original timeline still existed, and was still available when the TV revivals began a few years later. No matter what you think of the Abrams Star Trek films, most fans will agree that the alternate timeline was a good idea. Similarly J. Michael Straczynksi has been trying for years to get a reboot of his seminal science fiction series Babylon 5 off the ground. In 2023, he even gave us an animated film, Babylon 5: The Road Home, which ended in a way that – similar to the Star Trek example – opened up a different, alternate timeline in which the reboot could take place.

The classic sci-fi trope of “Eh, close enough.”

Of course, it’s easier to do that with a science fiction series than it would be a drama or a sitcom. If somebody wanted to do a reboot of The Golden Girls, for example, it’s unlikely that they would start with a CGI Betty White causing some sort of temporal rift that would take us to a different dimension where the girls all moved in together in 2025 rather than 1985. But that also begs the question: would you really WANT a reboot where they cast people other than Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan, Estelle Getty, and Betty White anyway?

That’s another thing that revivals have over reboots: the continuity of keeping a cast that the fans love. One of the reasons a Babylon 5 reboot is more likely than a revival is because so many members of that cast, in the years since the show ended, have sadly passed away at a surprisingly young age. Over the course of that show’s five years, 17 actors were series regulars for at least one season. Seven of them are no longer with us, and several others have retired from acting altogether. It would be anathema to many of us to see Bruce Boxleitner’s John Sheridan return with somebody other than Mira Furlan playing his wife, Delenn. In a new timeline, though, with new actors in BOTH roles…that feels a little easier to swallow.

Some shows, however, simply should never be brought back, for many of these same reasons. Any ideas of a Friends revival, for example, went up in smoke with the sad death of Matthew Perry. Any revival, even a one-off movie – would necessitate either recasting Chandler Bing (which fans will tell you is basically impossible) or writing him out of the show by having him either die or leave his wife and children, which would be depressing as hell. As for a reboot…poll the fans. Ask if anybody would want a different cast, and I’m pretty sure you’ll hear a resounding NO.

It would be impossible to recreate this and a mistake to even try.

It’s less of a problem if the actor is still alive and has chosen not to return, or if they’ve fallen from grace in the years since the show’s airing and neither the studio nor the fans want them back. Tom Welling and Michael Rosenbaum, two of the stars of Smallville, occasionally make noise about wanting to bring back the show as an animated series or through animated movies. Many fans would welcome this, although it is unlikely that anyone will bat an eye if Chloe Sullivan is recast. (I’m not gonna get into it – if you don’t know why this would be necessary, just Google it.) In a less problematic example, former child actor Erik Per Sullivan has retired from the business, so when a revival of Malcolm in the Middle was announced, nobody was really angry that they decided to recast his character of Dewey.  

In general, though, revivals are more interesting to me – I want to see a continuation of the original series. There was chatter for years about a reboot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but Sarah Michelle Gellar wasn’t interested. Therefore, I wasn’t interested. Then they announced that they’d landed on a pitch that Gellar IS interested in, a pitch in which she is mentoring a new character entirely rather than trying to have somebody else play Buffy Summers… well, at this point, I’m willing to listen.

(There’s an irony here in that Gellar’s series was, in fact, a reboot of a mediocre movie starring Kristy Swanson as Buffy. But again, it just goes to prove to you that reboots CAN work sometimes.)

There’s an adorable video of when Gellar called Ryan Kiera Armstrong and told her that she got the part, because REAL slayers go by three names.

For some shows, the question of reboot vs revival is academic, of course. It doesn’t matter for nonscripted series like game shows, or shows that dramatize real events such as Unsolved Mysteries. You may miss Robert Stack, but that doesn’t mean the show can’t be made without him. Similarly, anthology series like The Twilight Zone are by their very nature immune to this. That show has been brought back several times over the years, and as there was never a regular cast or set of characters to follow, it’s a non-issue as long as the show has the flavor of the original – in this case, that of a sci-fi show with horror elements and, usually, some sort of twist ending. 

The biggest problem comes when a resurrected series – whether it’s a reboot or revival – lacks that taste of the original. Every so often you’ll hear about a new version of a show where they proudly announce that none of the current creators are fans of the original. This is a position so bafflingly stupid that I’m surprised it’s not mandated by federal law. While it’s true that some fans can be a bit too close to the property, a bit too reverent, if NOBODY involved in the creation of a show has any passion for it, the odds of creating something that satisfies the existing fan base drops so dramatically as to be almost nonexistent. 

“Well, we’re not making this show for the OLD fans,” some of these studio executives say. “We’re trying to appeal to NEW fans.”

Bullshit. If all that matters is acquiring a new audience, there’s no reason to bring back an old property. By bringing back a classic IP you are inherently announcing a desire to get the attention of an existing fan base, and by creating something you know will dissatisfy them, all you’re doing is trying to court controversy, as if that somehow inoculates you against the need to make a good show. Sometimes I think they’re COUNTING on that. They know their reboot is weak, so they rile up the fans against it, giving them a handy shield of claiming that these narrow-minded old fuddy-duddies just don’t want something new, thereby preventing them from having to admit that they made something that sucks.

Ultimately, I try to judge any show – revival, reboot, or brand-new idea – on its own merits. But when you’re reaching back to a classic series, you need to really think about what made that show successful in the first place before you even THINK about giving it a try.

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. Someday, he swears, somebody is gonna do a revival of Cop Rock, but they’re gonna do it RIGHT this time.

Year of Superman Week 22: Super Duplicates and Other Fun Stuff

It’s probably going to be another random week friends. The first full week of summer vacation is upon me, but that really just means it’s time for me to get work done that I haven’t been able to get around to while school was in session. So the Superman blog this week, rather than following any theme, is just going to be whatever I’m in the mood for on the day, beginning with the new Superman-related comics that hit the stands on May 28. 

And as always, you can check out earlier blogs in the Year of Superman Archive!

Wed., May 28

Comics: Superman Vol. 6 #26, Justice League Unlimited Vol. 2 #7, Green Lantern Vol. 8 #21 (Superboy guest appearance)

The same thing happens to me if I don’t use at least SPF 30 sunscreen.

Notes: The Joshua Williamson era continues in the main Superman title with part one of “Superman Red.” Following the chaotic events of issue #25, things are in upheaval in Superman’s world. Lois’s Superwoman powers are gone, burned out, and while she says she’s accepting returning to a normal life, she’s hiding a private struggle. Superman, meanwhile, is in trouble – the emotional turmoil he’s been in lately has activated the Red Kryptonite that’s been lying dormant in his system for some time (seriously, I’d actually forgotten about it), and as is always the case with Red K, there’s no telling what can happen. We also get a series of “interludes” showing various other characters and how they connect to what’s going on, such as Supergirl returning to Midvale (I assume this takes place immediately before issue #1 of her new series, although it doesn’t specifically say so), a powerless General Zod in space fighting to save his ship from a Khund invasion, and Darkseid’s Legion of Super-Heroes (from the DC All In Special) having a little nasty fun.   

This first chapter of the storyline seems intended mainly to restack the characters and where we are. We get glimpses of just about everybody, a confirmation of the current status quo, but little forward momentum until the final few pages. As such, it’s not quite as gripping as the previous issue. It also doesn’t help that we cycle through three different artists in the book. Last issue did the same, but it felt more like an All Star lineup, whereas this issue feels more like “we’re running out of time, who’s available?” None of the artists are BAD, but their styles are too distinct from one another, making it a bit jarring to read. 

But Williamson’s run has been really good and earned a lot of good will from me. One misstep isn’t going to shatter my enjoyment of this series. 

“We Are Yesterday” continues in Justice League Unlimited #7. Grodd has used Air Wave’s powers to toss the members of the JLU throughout time, hurling some of them to the distant past, others to the far future. As they fight in small pods to stay alive, in the present day Grodd’s time-plucked Legion of Doom is poised to use the Watchtower in his bid to absorb the energies left behind in the wake of Darkseid’s destruction (once again, from the DC All In Special. Really, folks, if you haven’t read that one, I feel like you’re gonna be struggling to understand a LOT of DC Comics right now.) 

Despite this storyline being an explicit crossover with World’s Finest, the focus here isn’t on Batman and Superman. In fact, if anything, Grodd is the main character, making his play while we only glimpse the heroes in the various eras in which they’ve been thrown…that is, until a voice somehow begins to link these heroes across time. 

In the first issue of this book, Mark Waid set up the obscure character Air Wave as being a traitor to the League. In this crossover we found out why the young man had turned on our heroes, and this issue continues his story. I absolutely love the way that Waid has not only made a character who was barely even a footnote in DC history into a major player, but also the work he’s doing to rehabilitate him. It all builds up to a last page that should be exciting to anybody who’s a fan of DC in ANY time period. I eagerly await the conclusion of “We Are Yesterday.”

Thur., May 29

This is what I’m talking about. You gotta moisturize, people.

TV Episodes: Superman and Lois Season 2, Ep. 10, “Bizarros in a Bizarro World”, Ep. 11, “Truth and Consequences.”

Notes: Coming back to Superman and Lois today, it seems that episode 10 is here to show us what Clark was up to during the time he was missing, which we saw on our Earth in episode 9. After passing through the portal, he winds up on a bizarre (get it?) alternate world where everything is backwards and the planet itself is a cube. He goes to his counterpart’s fortress in the arctic, encountering a hologram of the other Kal-El’s mother. He teams up with Bizarro-Jon (who has powers on this world) to try to track down Ally Allston before she can merge with her counterpart in this universe, a task made more difficult by this world’s red sun sapping his powers. It gets worse when (in a series of flashbacks to the lives of the El family of Bizarro-World) we learn that Jon is actually working with Ally.  

The way they turn the world on its ear in this episode is really unexpected. Kal-El is not just a hero, but a celebrity. Tal, his brother, is a part of his life, even as Lois and the boys have drifted away from him. Oh, and in this world, it’s Jon who has powers instead of Jordan. There are a lot of jumps to different points in the timeline, but it’s not particularly difficult to follow. Bizarro-Jon sports a look that echoes Conner Kent’s vibe from the 90s, and his attitude is similar – a little bit punk, but still seeming good-hearted until we discover the turn. And it’s interesting to turn the characters on their ear. It ends with Bizarro-Jon being sent to our Earth to merge with his other self, tying the end of this episode to the previous one.

If nothing else, I’ve gotta love this episode for the simple fact that we actually saw a square Bizarro World in a live-action Superman show. Never thought I would see the day.

Episode 11 starts with Bizarro-Jon trying to force a fusion with our Jon, but Clark makes it back through the portal to stop him just in time.  Bizarro-Jon escapes and tries to figure out how to lure our Jon into a trap, leading up to him kidnapping Lana to use as bait. Sarah turns to Lois for help finding her mother, and Jordan chooses the absolute worst possible time to try to get back together with her. Superman tracks B.J.  (callin’ him “B.J.” now, by the way) down to the slaughterhouse where he’s keeping Lana,  but gets caught in his trap, defending Lana from an explosion full of what turns out to be Kryptonite debris.  B.J. goes after Jonathan, leaving only Jordan to defend his brother. 

The last act of this issue is a really great bit, split between three action scenes at once: Jordan vs. B.J. while Lois calls to Clark for help, Lana trying to pick the chunks of Kryptonite out of Superman’s flesh as he can hear his family in danger, and John Henry and Natasha – sans armor – facing off with a super-powered Bizarro Lana. (It’s a thing.) The episode cuts between these three scenes quickly, building out that tension. I think my favorite bit of it all is watching Jordan come into his own, defending his brother, fighting like a true son of Superman. 

Oh – and it ends with Clark making a preeeeeetty big decision. Season two of this series started off slow, but the back half is really coming together. 

Comics: Justice League of America #24, Superman #10, New Adventures of Superboy #35

Fri. May 30

Movie: Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987)

More like “The Quest For a Piece of That Box Office,” right?

Notes: Well, I’ve watched all the other movies in this series – I suppose that I’ve got to complete the set, right? Let’s talk about The Quest For Peace.

In Superman IV, Lex Luthor is broken out of prison once again, this time by his bumbling nephew, Lenny (Jon Cryer), who he brings along in his latest effort to destroy Superman. In Metropolis, the Daily Planet has been bought out by an industrialist who puts his daughter, Lacy Warfield (Mariel Hemingway), in charge of turning the paper into more of a sensationalist tabloid. At the same time, a random kid worried about the nuclear arms race writes a letter to Superman asking him to do something about it. Superman decides to gather up the world’s nuclear arsenals and hurl them into the sun, because most governments are pretty cooperative when a private citizen tries to convince them to disarm themselves. Lex and Lenny, meanwhile, steal a piece of Superman’s hair from a museum display and attach a device to one of the rockets that creates an atomic-powered “Nuclear Man” that they pit against the Man of Steel. 

There are few people, I think, who would argue that Superman IV is a good movie. (There are, oddly, some people who argue that it’s better than Superman III, but I contend that the junkyard fight alone is superior to any single frame of Superman IV.) It’s produced by Cannon Films, a studio that famously made wild movies on a low budget. Kind of like the Asylum today, only with more cocaine. The movie introduces a slew of new characters, none of whom work: Lex’s nephew Lenny (Jon Cryer, bizarrely, would actually grow up to play a pretty darn good Lex Luthor on the Supergirl TV show), Mariel Hemmingway as a totally superfluous fourth corner to the Superman/Lois/Clark love triangle, Mark Pillow as a villain who really should have been Bizarro, and so forth. 

That said, Christopher Reeve is still Christopher Reeve. He still has the cool charm that he brought to the character and every moment we see him in costume is a treat. The most earnest part of the film, though, comes at the very beginning, when Clark returns to Smallville. Martha, it seems, has passed away, and he’s going to sell the family farm, but is refusing to sell it to a developer, instead wanting to hold out for a farmer. There’s no real relevance to the overall plot, but I suppose it fits in thematically with the larger story about the dangers of progress for the sake of progress. Whatever it is, I’m glad it’s there – it’s a nice little touchstone that feels more like it belongs in the same universe as the earlier films than much of the rest of it. 

Unfortunately, Reeve is still working with a lousy script, full of unfunny jokes and out of character moments. The worst bit, to me, is when he reverses the erasure of Lois’s memories from the end of Superman II. It starts out as kind of a nice moment, taking her flying again and showing her the world. Then it falls apart when we realize he’s only done so to ask her advice, then promptly re-kisses her and wipes her memory again. I’ve never really liked that “amnesia kiss” power they cooked up for the movie, and I don’t particularly like the idea of Superman tampering with Lois’s mind, but I sort of accept it as the way to restore the status quo at the end of Superman II. The way it’s used here, though, messing with her memories over and over just to unburden himself, feels terribly unlike Superman. If all he wants is to talk to her, it seems like he could have done that – as Superman – without toying with her memory. But he does, and for the sake of pretty trite advice: “You always do the right thing.” It even makes me question if this is the FIRST time he’s done this to her, or if he would do so again. The whole process, knowing he’s just going to wipe her memory again, seems terribly cruel, and that one scene brings down a movie that already wasn’t flying very high. 

Reeve himself helped write the story for this one, although he also conceded that the final film fell apart. And it’s a real tragedy, too, as this would be the last time he played Superman. As a kid I held out hope that he’d come back – especially since the first Michael Keaton Batman movie hit theaters only two years later, fueling hope for a World’s Finest – but the accident that put him in a wheelchair ended those hopes for good. Still, there was a majesty to Christopher Reeve that made him forever the Superman of my generation. Last year, DC Studios released a documentary about him, Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story, which I was lucky enough to catch during its brief theatrical engagement. If you’ve never seen it, it’s on Max now, and gets my highest possible recommendation. I’ll definitely be revisiting it before this Year of Superman is over. 

Comic: Superman Family #208

Sat., May 31st

Comics: Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane #14, Justice League of America #25, World’s Finest Comics #306

I dunno, if I got home and my wife was wearing a Batwoman costume, I might not complain…

Notes: Can we, just, for a second?

Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane #14.

Lois Lane. Hard-nosed, crusading reporter for the Daily Planet. The top of her profession. The pinnacle of her career. And yet all three stories in this issue – ALL THREE – revolve around “Golly, why won’t Superman marry me?”

In the first story, Superman takes her for a visit to the Fortress of Solitude, where she deliberately exposes herself to radiation that will make sunlight fatal to her, necessitating that she stay in the Fortress until it wears off. Her plan is to prove that she’s safe in the Fortress, and therefore, Superman will marry her. Because THAT’S what the obstacle has been.

In the second story, Lois pretends to fall in love with some random G.I. in the hopes of making Superman jealous. That’s just cruel, Lois.

And in the third story, Supergirl (because it’s not enough to paint ONE woman in a bad light) is still in the era where she’s living at Midvale Orphanage and lamenting the fact that she has no parents. Then she gets a brainstorm: if Superman marries Lois, the two of THEM can adopt her! So SHE starts trying to gaslight her cousin into marrying Lois Lane. Bafflingly, this includes sending Lois a Batwoman costume and pretending it was a gift from Batman.

I know it was the time period. I know this is just what comic book stories of the Silver Age were like. But Jehoshaphat, you’d think at SOME point, SOMEBODY would have said, “Guys, can we think of maybe a SECOND motivation for Lois for a few of these stories?” 

Sun., June 1

Animated Short: Terror on the Midway (1942), Japoteurs (1942), Showdown (1942)

Notes: The Fleischer Superman shorts continued in 1942 with Terror on the Midway. For once eschewing the supervillains and natural disasters, in this short Lois and Clark are attending a local carnival when the sideshow’s bloodthirsty gorilla gets loose and begins causing havoc. He frees more animals, horrifies the audience, and begins chasing after a little girl that Lois rescues. (It’s a far more valiant Lois we see in these 1940s-era cartoons than we did in any of the comic books of the Silver Age.) Lois manages to save the girl, but now the gorilla has his sights on her.

I have the same reaction whenever I hear someone say “Skibbidi Toilet.”

This is one of my favorites of the Fleischer era. The animation on the animals is exquisite, with Superman tangling with realistic lions and panthers as Lois flees from a truly frightening gorilla. There’s even an odd moment where the elephants do a conga line – a typical circus stunt, but it still feels more in-line with a Looney Tunes short than Superman. Still, even then, the elephants maintain their basically realistic appearance.

The cartoon looks great, and it’s a nice departure for the Superman cartoons. I hesitate to call it the BEST of them, but it’s certainly one of the ones I enjoy the most.

1942 also gave us Japoteurs, however, probably the most problematic of the Fleischer shorts through modern eyes. In this one, the United States unveils the world’s largest bombing plane, a vital concern in the World War II-era in which this takes place. Lois and Clark board the enormous plane for its maiden voyage, but a group of Japanese saboteurs have a plan to hijack it. As the pretty stereotypical saboteurs take the plane, Clark is left on the ground, whereas Lois radios for help. Superman, naturally, takes to the skies and goes after the plane. (Incidentally, this cartoon CLEARLY shows him flying to catch up to the bomber – please explain to me all those previous cartoons where he took a TAXI to the scene of a disaster.) Superman saves Lois and thwarts the saboteurs, making the world safe for democracy.

I don’t like tearing down a movie, book, or anything else because it reflects the values of a different time. From the perspective of a 1942 audience, the cartoon is still lavishly, lovingly animated, one of the best-looking shorts ever made, and both Lois and Clark are portrayed well and in-character. I don’t even object to the portrayal of a Japanese enemy since, y’know, at the time they WERE. And while there are certainly cartoons of the era with WORSE portrayals of the Japanese, it’s unfortunate how the animators for this one leaned into the stereotypes instead of working as hard to make the characters as realistic as they did, say, the animals in Terror on the Midway

 Showdown, which was released later that year, is far better. A crook in a Superman costume begins committing a series of crimes, tarnishing the reputation of the Man of Steel, forcing him to step up and clear his name. The imposter makes the mistake of trying to rob the audience at the opera, in which Lois and Clark (lucky him!) are in attendance.

Oh, they wore the same outfit, that’s so embarrassing…

I love the attention to detail in these cartoons. If this short had been made in the 60s, the imposter would have looked EXACTLY like Superman, either because of a rubber Scooby-Doo type mask or because of the sort of ridiculously contrived duplicates that appeared in the Silver Age comics every other month. But here, the imposter has his own distinct look and facial structure – there’s no way anyone would mistake him for Superman up-close. When he’s in action, we usually see him from a distance, from behind…and even then, his hairline is very different from Superman’s, coming to a widow’s peak in the front. 

The scene where Superman faces off against his imposter on the rooftop is fantastic – he marches on him slowly, imposingly, without saying a word. It’s as if the bad guy is being stalked by Michael Myers rather than Superman, and he continues babbling in fear the whole time. Then we get to the final scene, in which Superman forces him to take him to his boss, who has a convenient trap door beneath his mansion. As if that’s gonna stop him.

I almost wonder if Bud Collyer was unavailable to record for this short. He has almost no lines, even while chasing the villains. On the other hand, it’s not like Superman is always a chatterbox in the other Fleischer shorts either, so maybe it’s just a little more noticeable this time.

Whatever the case, I enjoy this cartoon a lot. 

Mon., June 2

Graphic Novel: Superman: Kryptonite Nevermore (Reprints Superman #233-238, #240-242)

This happened when I tried to put on a shirt from college.

Notes: It’s been kind of light for me this week, so today I decided to dip into a longer storyline from the early Bronze Age, the classic “Kryptonite Nevermore” arc by Dennis O’Neil and the legendary art team of Curt Swan and Murphy Anderson, although for once a mention has to be made of the editor. I’ve talked about Julius Schwartz before, but this was the arc in which he took over Superman’s adventures, and with it, he brought some big changes. According to the introduction by Paul Levitz, Schwartz wanted to streamline the books, de-emphasizing the other Kryptonians like the Kandorians and the Phantom Zone criminals, moving away from sillier Silver Age accouterments such as the legion of Superman robots at the Fortress of Solitude, updating Clark Kent’s occupation from newspaper reporter to the more modern TV news anchor, and doing something about all those crazy colors of Kryptonite that had flourished under previous editorial administrations. Schwartz brought in O’Neil to do the task, along with a pretty legendary cover by Neal Adams, and while I never had a problem with any of the things that Schwartz blotted out and I’m quite happy that they eventually made their way back, the stories that reshaped Superman were pretty solid. I guess the boring Bronze Age I’ve mentioned before would come later.

Things kick right off in Superman #233 where, in the first few pages, an explosion somehow causes a chain reaction that transforms all the Kryptonite on Earth into harmless iron. Superman is thrilled, of course, that his one weakness has been eliminated, but what he doesn’t realize at first is that the same explosion has created a duplicate of himself, rising from the sand in the desert where the explosion took place. That same day, Galaxy Broadcasting’s president Morgan Edge (which recently bought The Daily Planet) reassigns Clark Kent from the print beat to covering news for WGBS-TV, a complication he doesn’t welcome. Clark became a reporter, in part, so that he would be able to swiftly escape without suspicion when Superman was needed. A newspaperman can do that – an on-air broadcast talent not so much. Things get more difficult in the second chapter, when a sudden weakness overcomes him while trying to save an island from an erupting volcano. Superman doesn’t know it yet, but his weakness corresponds to the sand creature beginning to use Superman’s powers itself. And that’s just the beginning. 

For the early 70s, this story goes on quite a long time, from issue #233 through #242, nine issues in total (skipping issue #239, which was an issue of reprints). And while most of the stories are essentially self-contained, the arc regarding the sand creature slowly builds over time. Superman encounters it again and again, each time getting a little weaker, and each time watching the sand creature slowly become more “fully” him…with the exception of his utter apathy towards the betterment of humankind. Eventually, Superman and the Sand Creature face off, with a warning that were they to touch, it might trigger a catastrophic chain reaction. Wonder Woman’s mentor of the period, I-Ching, offers to remove that problem and the ensuing battle nearly destroys the world…until I-Ching reveals it was merely a hallucination he created, a warning about what would happen were the two of them to come to blows. (Take THAT, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II.) Realizing the futility of battle, the Sand Creature agrees to leave Earth and does so, taking half of Superman’s power with him.

Takes “Why you hittin’ yourself?” to the next level, doesn’t it?

This was the last part of the “streamlining” that Schwartz and O’Neil had orchestrated. Superman, they decided, had grown too powerful, and they wanted a story reason to explain the decrease in his power level, rather than just writing him as being less effective out of the blue. I appreciate that, and I’m sure most of the readers of the time did as well. Of course, just like the way they eliminated the other Kryptonians and Kryptonite and all the rest of it, over time his power levels started to crank up again. When John Byrne rebooted Superman in ‘86, once again, they ticked his power levels down a notch or two. These days, as I’ve said before, he’s probably about as powerful as he’s ever been, and I honestly have no problem with that. I know the mantra of the unimaginative – those who whine that Superman is “too powerful” and that somehow makes him boring. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: his power isn’t what makes Superman a great hero, it’s the exploration of character behind someone who has that power and still remains a hero that I find intriguing. 

So ultimately, was this story strictly necessary? I have to contend that it was not.

But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good. 

Tues., June 3

Comics: Superman Special (1992) #1, Adventure Comics #103

In November of 1992 you could have traded this comic book for a HOUSE.

Notes: Having read Kryptonite Nevermore yesterday, I thought that today it might be fun to revisit the “remake” of that story in the Post-Crisis, Post-Man of Steel era. In 1992’s Superman Special, Walt Simonson essentially writes and draws a condensed version of that epic, shrunk from nine issues to a single double-sized event, and updated for the Superman comics of the time. So we see things like Jimmy Olsen palling around with the Newsboy Legion at Cadmus and Lex Luthor in his businessman era. However, this story was clearly set in the “recent past,” as by the time it came out in 1992 Luthor was believed to be dead, having been replaced by his “son,” and Lois and Clark are not yet engaged, nor does she know his secret identity. 

In fact, it seems like the story begins shortly after the end of the “Exile” storyline, which concluded in 1989. In that story, Superman left Earth after suffering a breakdown after executing three Kryptonian criminals in a parallel universe (we’ll be getting to that story sooner or later). Finally healing, he returned to Earth. As this special begins, we see him in his Fortress of Solitude, creating a monument to the criminals he put to death and vowing never to do such a thing again. From there, familiar beats start to show up: an odd energy experiment leaves Superman lying in the sand, an imprint of his body rising up and gaining sentience. Meanwhile, Lex Luthor (whose Lexcorp was behind the experiment this time) finds that his Kryptonite has been transformed to lead. Superman is thrilled at first, but then finds his powers beginning to fade one at a time. Simultaneously, the Sand Creature appears in Metropolis, gaining Superman’s powers. Luthor manipulates the Sand Creature into attacking Superman, seeing an opportunity to finally put his enemy to rest. The two of them eventually take the fight to the Fortress, where the Sand Creature continues to absorb Superman’s powers, eventually leaving him helpless and seemingly dead. 

But this time around, the Creature is absorbing Superman’s personality as well as his powers – his memories, his respect for life, and the sight of the memorial to the criminals reminds him of Superman’s vow never to take a life. The creature breaks down in tears and there’s a brilliant (and ambiguous) flash of light. On the next page, Superman returns to Lexcorp, where he tells Luthor his latest plan was a flop. 

The story is good, and I love Simonson’s art. He’s got a flair for sci-fi/fantasy, honed by his time on Thor, no doubt, that is a really good fit for this storyline. But to me the really interesting thing about this isn’t the comic itself, but rather the culture that briefly sprung up around it. I don’t know exactly how this book came about, but the story is that it was originally intended for an annual that kept getting delayed for some reason until it was eventually released as a standalone special. Whether that’s true or not, I don’t know. What I DO know is this: the book came out only months before the Death of Superman story (you may have heard of that one), and even had a “Doomsday is Coming!” logo in the UPC box on the direct edition copies. 

The timing, plus the logo, fed a MASSIVE speculator rush around this book on the nascent internet (I was on Prodigy at the time, if you remember that one). Simonson – deliberately or not – ended the book on a kind of vague beat. In the original storyline, we actually see the Sand Creature, still with its sandy exterior visible, depart Earth for another world. In this book, though, by the end the Creature has COMPLETELY transformed into a Superman doppelganger and is absorbing his memories along with his powers. The last we see of him is the Creature cradling Superman’s unconscious body, then a flash of light. On the next page Superman – hale and hearty – shows up in Luthor’s office. The theory, as I’m sure you can imagine, was going to be that the Creature had REPLACED Superman, to the point where it actually believed it WAS the original, and that the Superman who died fighting Doomsday was going to turn out to be the Sand Creature. The real Superman, then, would be elsewhere – perhaps having no memories or powers, wandering the country or something, and we would have discovered we’d been following the adventures of the Sand Creature for the last few years. 

It honestly wasn’t a bad theory, and it was a theory I fully supported for a time. It certainly made more sense than the people who rushed on Superman #66 (the end of “Panic in the Sky”) because they thought that Doomsday came from the device launched at the end, even though they would have known what the device REALLY was had they simply bothered to read Superman #67. There was nothing to dispute the Sand Creature theory until the comics finally made it clear that they weren’t going in that direction. But for a hot minute, this book was a must-have for the kind of people who only buy comic books in the hopes of reselling them for big bucks later. As I have a bit of distaste for those people, I do not feel sorry for them, being stuck with a book that would eventually become dollar bin fodder. But I hope that at least a few of them maybe wound up READING the comic, because it’s actually quite good. 

As Week 22 comes to an end, I find myself feeling another theme. get ready, guys, because I’m going for a big one this time, my favorite Superman spinoff series, the heroes of the 30th (and 31st) century, and most importantly, the kids who taught Superman to be a hero. Next week, it’s the Superman Family and the Legion of Super-Heroes!

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. You can join in the Kryptonian Konversation every day in the Year of Superman Facebook Group!

Geek Punditry #126: Whomsoever Holds This Hammer…

A few days ago, a meme I’ve seen several times floated across my Facebook page again. You’ve probably seen it; it asks one of the classic geek questions: “Who is a non-Marvel character that you know is worthy of lifting Thor’s hammer?” I like this a lot more than the usual “Could so-and-so beat Thor in a fight?” type of question. The question of which fictional character could win a fight with any other is pointless, because the real answer is always the same: whoever the writer wants to win.

But a question of worthiness is different. If a writer wants us to believe that a character is worthy of Thor’s power, we have to be persuaded first. And the person who created this particular iteration of the meme already gave us the perfect answer:

More like Ernest P. WORTHY, amirite?

I don’t know the person who made this meme so I can’t say if they meant this as a joke or not. I’m going to assume they didn’t, because Ernest P. Worrell is actually the perfect example of a character who demonstrates worthiness. Let’s establish, for a second, what “worthy” actually means. Neither the comics nor the movies ever give any SPECIFIC criteria, but there are a few things I think we can agree upon. The stipulations – whatever they are – were created by Thor’s father Odin, and we can assume that courage is one of them, as is a certain warrior’s instinct. The other one can be extrapolated from the first Thor movie: Thor is cast to Earth and deprived of his power because of his arrogance. He doesn’t regain his power until he learns to put it aside and think of others before himself. Therefore, we can reasonably assume that selflessness is the last criteria. 

Now let’s look at Ernest. Whether it’s when he goes to camp or jail, when he was scared stupid or when he had to save Christmas, the predicaments he winds up in are often tied up in his desire to help other people. Wayward youths, his fellow bank employees, non-wayward youths being pursued by monsters, Santa Claus – Ernest fights for other people again and again. A warrior’s instinct? Go back and watch Ernest Goes to Camp again – he lines up to fight the evil land developers (it was the 80s, 97 percent of movie villains were evil land developers) even after they beat the stuffing out of him the first time. As for courage…well, again, we turn to Ernest Goes to Camp, where he passes the Native American “Path of the Brave.”

If he had faith in The Great One, the knife would not cut him.
If he had courage; true courage, the rock would not break him.
If the brave was pure of heart, the arrow could not catch him.

“Wait a second though, Blake,” you’re saying, “You think he’s BRAVE? Ernest freaks out all the time. Remember how he panicked when that turtle bit his nose?”

“This never happens to Beta Ray Bill, does it, Vern?”

My friends, courage is not the LACK of fear. It is the ability to OVERCOME fear. Does Ernest get scared? Sure. But he still STEPS UP, EVERY SINGLE TIME. So when Ernest tries to pick up Mjolnir, he’d do it on the first try. Then he would drop it, stumble, fumble around, accidentally summon up a cyclone, and probably set his hat on fire with an errant lightning bolt, because he’s still Ernest. But despite all of that, whatever danger he was facing, he would somehow still triumph in the end, because his heart is simply too pure to give up.

But as always, this meme gets me thinking about who else might qualify. Other than Ernest, what other fictional characters are worthy of lifting Mjolnir? I’m going to skip over anyone who has been shown, canonically, to be worthy: that would include Captain America, Vision, Storm of the X-Men, Beta Ray Bill, Superman, and Wonder Woman. (I’ve written about crossovers before, right?) I’m sure there are others who’ve lifted the hammer in some continuity or other, but I don’t have a comprehensive list. And since the meme specifies “non-Marvel,” I’m not going to go into the pages of dissertation I could write arguing that Ben Grimm or Peter Parker should be worthy. But let’s look into other fandoms, shall we?

“I’m comin’ with you, Mr. Thor!”

I’ll start with probably the least-controversial choice I’ll have on this list: Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. If you’ve never read or at least WATCHED Lord of the Rings (in which Sam was played by Sean Astin), well…what century are you from? Come on, get with the program. But lemme tell you about Sam. Sam is a gardener – simple, humble, and with no great ambitions towards adventure or danger. But when his friend Frodo is tasked with the job of carrying the Ring of Power to Mount Doom, the only hope to destroy the ring and prevent the rise of the evil Sauron, Sam joins the Fellowship accompanying him without hesitation. When the rest of the party is separated and Frodo attempts to continue the quest without them, Sam refuses to allow him to go alone. Sam has no desire for glory or power, and it is arguable whether he would even make the journey for the good of all Middle-Earth, which is at stake. But for the sake of his friend? Samwise will do anything. Cross a continent on foot. Battle an enormous spider. Climb a raging volcano with the exhausted Frodo on his back. There is no character in all of Tolkien more unflinchingly loyal and brave than Samwise Gamgee, and you can’t tell me for a second that Odin would disagree. 

Something about those eyes. Those are WORTHY eyes.

Next, I would like to nominate Marcus Cole of the epic science fiction series Babylon 5. Marcus, played by Jason Carter, was a member of the Rangers, a secret society of human and Minbari warriors tasked with maintaining peace across the galaxy. As a Ranger, Marcus is a skilled fighter and never hesitates to go into battle against any manner of otherworldly threats. He also never displays any particularly selfish qualities, but it’s the way his story ends that I believe truly marks him as worthy of Mjolnir. I’m about to spoil the end of Babylon 5 season four, so you should watch the series. It’s currently available on Tubi for free; you go watch the first four seasons – I’ll wait here until you get back. 

Done? Great. So as you just saw, Marcus quickly fell in love with Susan Ivanova, second-in-command of station Babylon 5. Ivanova, however, wasn’t interested in romance. To be fair, there were wars and stuff happening, she had a LOT on her plate, so she would rebuff Marcus’s advances. At the end of the season, though, Ivanova is mortally wounded. Marcus, however, sees a chance to save her: in an earlier episode, the characters had come into possession of an alien device that could heal virtually any wound, cure any disease, basically bring someone back from the brink of death – but to do so required the transfer of life-force from another being. In other words, you had to kill one person in order to save someone else. Marcus hooks Ivanova up to the machine and hooks himself up to the other end, sacrificing his life to save her. If his other feats throughout the series hadn’t already proven him worthy of carrying Mjolnir, his final act of courage and selflessness more than does the trick.

Let’s see him science the shit out of Mjolnir.

Staying in outer space, let’s turn our attention back to our own solar system, particularly the surface of Mars, where Mark Watney of The Martian has proven his worth. In the novel by Andy Weir and the film adaptation, where he is played by Matt Damon, Watney is an astronaut stranded on Mars when the rest of his crew escapes and heads back to Earth. The others don’t leave Watney deliberately – they think he was killed by the same storm they are attempting to flee – and by the time they realize he’s still alive, there’s no way for them to go back and get him. On Mars, alone, Watney has to figure out how to survive on limited supplies long enough for NASA to arrange a rescue. 

Both the book and the movie are a joy to me. For one thing, it’s a rare story in which there is no traditional antagonist. Literally the entire planet Earth bands together to save the main character; there’s no evil in this story. That’s so damned refreshing. The battles Watney has to fight are against Mars itself, trying to find ways to create food, provide power, and ultimately make his way to the site of another rocket that can blast him into orbit for his rescue. And although Watney (not unlike Ernest) often displays momentary panic following his many, many setbacks, he also overcomes that panic every single time, putting his brain to work and figuring out one unbelievable way to survive after another. He never backs down and keeps fighting until he finds a way to safety. 

As the entire plot of the story is Watney trying to stay alive, it’s a little harder to prove his selflessness. However, from the very instant he is stranded on Mars, Watney makes it a point to say that he doesn’t blame the rest of his crew for leaving him behind. He never shows any anger or resentment against them for his predicament, and when the rescue attempt boils down to his crew basically giving up another year and a half of their lives to turn back to Mars and save him at great risk to themselves, Watney shows willingness more than once to die on Mars if that’s what it takes to protect the rest of the crew. Could he lift Mjolnir? I posit that he could. Tragically, if he HAD the hammer, he could have prevented the storm that stranded him on Mars in the first place. 

With four characters down, I turned to my wife. “Erin, who else could lift Mjolnir?” I asked.

“D’vana Tendi,” she said without hesitation.

Go ahead, speak it into the Horn of Truth.

“Duh,” I said, berating myself for forgetting my favorite character from Star Trek: Lower Decks.

Tendi is an Orion, a member of a species who, prior to Lower Decks, were known for their pirate captains and slave girls in other Star Trek series. Not exactly an obvious choice for lifting Mjolnir, of course. But from the first time we see her, Tendi defies what we think of Orions as being. She’s not a pirate or a slave – she’s a scientist. She gleefully loves science, she dives into it with the sort of joy and excitement that Thor himself carries into battle. Tendi sees a problem as something to defeat with her brain rather than her fists, but it’s a battle nonetheless.

That should not, however, give you the impression that she COULDN’T fight. Tendi has forsaken the warrior aspect of her culture, but she was still brought up in it. She holds the title “Mistress of the Winter Constellations,” and it is a title that strikes fear in her enemies. Tendi is fierce in battle when the situation calls for it, then turns on a dime to being the sweet, good-natured Starfleet Officer she truly WANTS to be. 

As for selflessness, at the end of season four of Lower Decks (it is apparently my day for spoiling the fourth seasons of science fiction TV shows), with her ship and her crew on the line, Tendi makes a deal with her family. In exchange for their help, she will leave Starfleet and rejoin the family syndicate, taking her place as Mistress of the Winter Constellations once again. She’s willing to leave everything and everyone she loves in order to save everything and everyone she loves. Thor had to learn to let go of his arrogance – I don’t know if Tendi would even recognize it to begin with.

“Ferb, I know what we’re gonna lift today!”

“Phineas and Ferb,” Erin continued, and good grief, how did I forget THEM? I talked just last week about how much I love Disney’s Phineas and Ferb cartoon and how excited I am that it’s coming back, but somehow it passed right by me. Phineas and Ferb are stepbrothers who refuse to waste a single moment of their summer vacation, spending their time creating incredible inventions and having amazing adventures with their friends. Giant rollercoasters, life-size board games, soccer pitches that defy the laws of physics, portals to Mars (if only Watney had known they were on their way) – nothing is beyond the two of them. And despite the fact that many of their creations would be objectively terrifying to anybody else, they never show a moment of fear. Is it truly courage if you’re so pure of heart that it honestly never occurs to you what what you’re doing COULD be dangerous? I’m not sure. But at the very least they’re aware of the CONCEPT of danger – they always wear helmets and safety gear when appropriate. 

As for selflessness – the very few times Phineas displays any sort of concern over the course of the series usually come when he’s worried about other people. And more than once, the brothers put aside their plans to help someone else in need, whether it’s protecting Baljeet from a bully (this is before Buford joined the gang), getting their parents’ favorite band back together to create a romantic evening for them, or constructing an entire haunted house to scare away Isabella’s hiccups (it doesn’t work – Isabella is so thrilled that Phineas is paying attention to her that she never feels a moment of fear), even their grandiose plans will take a backseat to the needs of the people they care about. 

Unlike any of the other characters on this list, it should be noted, Phineas and Ferb actually met Thor once, in their Mission Marvel special. In that episode, though, the Marvel heroes were powerless and Mjolnir spent most of the episode stuck in the middle of Manhattan collecting parking tickets, so the question of whether the brothers could lift it never comes up. But if it had, I maintain that they could. 

“They’d probably build something to help them hold the hammer at the same time,” I tell Erin.

“Like a cupholder,” she says.

People, get you a partner who understands you the way mine understands me. 

There you go, friends – seven characters who have demonstrated the courage, fearlessness, and purity necessary to lift the mighty Mjolnir. This should not be considered a comprehensive list, mind you. It’s just the first few characters that came to mind when I thought about it (and asked my wife for her opinion), so there are certainly others. I heartily invite your own suggestions, along with a brief explanation of why you think they’re Mjolnir-worthy. There’s nothing nerdier than talking about this kind of stuff with other fans, and that’s the kind of nerdity I like. 

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. He would like to believe that he could lift Mjolnir himself, if given the chance, but he was nervous to take his son on the Ladybug ride at City Park, so…

Year of Superman Week 21: Supergirl Week

With her own movie coming out next year, DC Comics has wisely decided to bring back Supergirl’s ongoing series, and with the first issue hitting stands last week, I thought it would be appropriate to dedicate Week 21 of the Year of Superman to Kara Zor-El. This week I’ll be digging into some of the most important and best stories of the girl of steel in comics, television, movies, and more. I’m specifically going to limit myself to stories featuring the Kara Zor-El version of the character. There are other Supergirls, to be certain, and I’ll probably touch upon them at some point, but I’ve already got more Supergirl stories than I’ll likely have time to cover on my list even BEFORE I add stuff starring the Matrix/Linda Danvers version. So Peter David fans, just sit tight. I don’t know exactly when it’ll happen, but I’ll get to your Supergirl before the year is out.

And as always, you can check out earlier blogs in the Year of Superman Archive!

For now, though, let’s dig into the history of DC’s Maid of Might. 

Wed., May 21

Comics: Action Comics #252, Action Comics #275, Action Comics #279-285

Notes: I’ll start off, appropriately enough, with Supergirl’s first appearance from Action Comics #252, by Otto Binder and Al Plastino. Although as was often the case at the time, the cover story was not the FIRST story in the issue. It starts with the first appearance of Metallo. I won’t get too much into that story, except to note that one plot point involves Metallo being able to impersonate Superman merely by shaving off his mustache. In the Silver Age DC Universe, there were apparently only three faces that everyone had to share.

And a million pubescent boys felt an awakening…

After a Congorilla story, we finally get to the main event: “The Supergirl From Krypton.” Superman is summoned to the site of a crashing rocketship, where he is stunned to discover a teenage girl who has all the same powers as he does. It turns out that she’s a survivor of Krypton as well, from a city that escaped Krypton’s destruction and protected itself by covering the ground with lead to save them from the remains of their home turning into deadly Kryptonite. But when a meteor shower destroys the lead, the girl’s parents put her into a spacecraft and sent her to Earth, where they’d been watching the last son of Krypton through a space telescope. Superman and the girl, Kara, discover that their fathers were brothers, making them cousins, and just like a good cousin, Superman immediately puts a wig on her and drops her off at a local orphanage until she’s trained in using her powers. She randomly chooses the name “Linda Lee,” another “L.L.,” which at this point is so unlikely that even Superman himself has to point it out. 

This is kind of an embryonic version of Supergirl’s origin. There are several aspects that would later change and others that would be added – for instance, the original story doesn’t identify her home as “Argo City,” as later stories would, nor did it establish that the city escaped Krypton’s destruction because it was beneath a transparent dome. Instead it just sort of…made it somehow. Also, in this version, the Zor-El family peeked at Earth for years, but never connected the dots that Superman was the son of Jor-El. Later stories would make it clear that they knew that Superman was one of their family and that they sent Kara to him specifically for that reason.

The last thing that I have to point out is just how quickly Superman decides to drop his cousin off at an orphanage. It’s a bizarre situation – he doesn’t even make it to another PAGE before he brings her to Midvale. I get it – it was the Silver Age and DC Comics would never have allowed them to upset the status quo in such a way that Clark Kent now had a teenage girl living under his roof…but still, it feels kind of cold-hearted. Modern-day Clark Kent would NEVER do that. At this point, especially since the Warworld storyline a couple of years ago, he’s collecting new family members like he’s a Pokémon trainer. 

The next few stories I’m going to cover come from Supergirl’s early days, when she was living in hiding as Superman’s “Secret Weapon.” He decided to keep her existence a secret from the world for…reasons that I’ve frankly never understood. I guess it had something to do with not wanting her to go public until she had command of her abilities or something, but that sure never stopped Batman from throwing a Robin out onto the street with him. Action Comics #275 starts with the dandy Brainiac story “The Menace of Red-Green Kryptonite,” where an insidious device from Brainiac makes Superman start…stealing hats. He confides the truth about the ray to Supergirl and eventually beats Brainiac after only a minor international incident, covering the fact that the ray actually made him grow a third eye in the back of his head. It was the Silver Age, people, what’reya gonna do?

But the real reason I read this issue was for the second story, “Ma and Pa Kent Adopt Supergirl.” In what is essentially an “imaginary story” (although it doesn’t carry that label), Supergirl is sad because Superman was raised by a loving family while she’s stuck at an orphanage. (GO FIGURE, CLARK.) So that night, she has a dream in which she, not Kal-El, was the child of Jor-El and Lara, and was the first Kryptonian to come to Earth and be adopted by the Kents. Her early years are similar to those of Clark, until her teenage years where we start to see some curveballs. Her bestie, Lana Lang, winds up dating the guy “Linda” is crushing on, so she’s stuck with some dude named Lex Luthor. A Kryptonian rocket somes to Earth, but instead of Krypto the Superdog, she finds a super-parrot from Krypton to be her super-pet. The biggest change? Whereas young Clark Kent helps his father run his general store, young Linda Kent stays at home to help her mother clean. Because she’s a girl. 

I can’t even sometimes. 

It gets even wackier when Lex overhears Linda’s parrot “Squawky,” sitting on his perch, chirping “Linda Kent is Supergirl!” Lex, knowing Linda is crushing on Bob Benson, tells him her secret so that he’ll pay attention to her. The dream ends when Linda finds out that Bob is only interested in her now because she’s Supergirl, and she dumps him. 

As far as dream sequences go, it’s funny to note how even Kara’s subconscious has the same sort of inherent misogyny that so many Lois Lane stories of the time enjoyed. 

Supergirl finally gets her wish for parents in Action Comics #279…after a story in which Hercules and Sampson show up in Metropolis and try to court Lois Lane and Lana Lang. It’s such a ridiculous story, even by Silver Age standards, that I don’t even know what to say about it. So let’s move on to “Supergirl’s Secret Enemy.” In this one, a jealous girl from Krypton named Lesla-Lar…

Yes. Lesla-Lar.

I mean, I get it, in college I knew an inordinate number of girls whose first initial was “A,” but Superman makes it RIDICULOUS.

…has stolen Supergirl’s powers with a Kryptonite ray. Stuck as a normal human girl, Supergirl allows herself to be adopted, because apparently the existence of her super powers is what kept her from being adoptable before. She goes home with Mr. and Mrs. Fred Danvers, where her new dad immediately tells her to change her hair because she’s too old to be wearing pigtails, which if we’re being honest, is creepy as hell. Superman, meanwhile, vows to try to find a way to restore her powers, but Lesla-Lar isn’t finished yet. As Linda sleeps that night, Lesla teleports her to Kandor and brainwashes her, then switches places with her at the Danvers’ home, her own Kryptonian powers intact.

This nonsense goes on for several issues, with Lesla swapping with Linda while she’s asleep and Linda having no idea she’s being abducted and living a second life in Kandor. My favorite bit comes in Action #281. As Superman and the fake Supergirl prepare to reveal herself to the world, Krypto the Superdog figures out that she’s an imposter via his sense of super-smell recognizing that Lesla wears the wrong perfume. (I love that friggin’ dog.) With his super-vision, he sees the real Supergirl in Kandor. Krypto hits a switch to swap Linda and Lesla again, but the brainwashing continues. She has no memory of the swap and STILL Doesn’t have her powers. Testing a theory, Superman brings her back in time, where she discovers she still has her powers! That’s right! Science means NOTHING! So he LEAVES HER THERE, only for her to realize he’s dropped her off in the year 1692! She begins to use her powers openly, making people think she’s a witch, then gives up and uses her powers to return home…where her powers once again disappear, making this whole time-travel segment utterly meaningless and nonsensical.

Action Comics #282 begins with me being genuinely baffled at how this ridiculous story isn’t over yet. Superman has built Supergirl a replica of the Legion of Super-Heroes’ time machine so she can test out whether her powers will return if she goes to the future. He can’t go with her, though, because he’s busy with “urgent problems.” Hey Superman, you know what makes “urgent” problems less urgent? A FREAKING TIME MACHINE. Anyway, in the future, Linda discovers that her powers have once again returned, and starts superheroing again. She saves the Earth from a Martian invasion (has anyone talked to J’onn J’onzz about this?) but when she gets back her powers are gone again…UNTIL THEY RETURN. And now she’s even STRONGER than Superman! And in Kandor, Lesla-Lar is arrested! And in the end, we find out that Mr. Mxyzptlk is responsible for giving her powers back AND making her immune to Kryptonite! Did they have a DART BOARD with random plot points in the DC offices back in 1961? 

The next two issues each feature a pair of red Kryptonite stories, one each for Superman and Supergirl, at the end of which Mxyzptlk’s tampering wears off, leaving Supergirl again vulnerable to GREEN Kryptonite…but also, somehow, her regular powers are back. There is absolutely no explanation as to why her powers return to normal, but I don’t even care at this point, because the whole reason I read this little chain of bonkers was to get to issue #285, in which Superman FINALLY reveals Supergirl to the world.

“World’s greatest heroine?” Clark? She’s been on Earth for twelve seconds. Does Diana mean NOTHING to you?

It starts off with telling the Danvers that they adopted a Supergirl (something that would have been a little hard to disguise, as she had to catch their car when Fred drove off a bridge), then goes on to a televised announcement that makes the world so excited you’d think the McRib had come back. The first half of the issue is just showing how the entire world – nay, the UNIVERSE – has become #TeamSupergirl. In the second half, while Superman is in space, she fights a Kaiju. 

I think that’s enough Silver Age silliness. I make jokes, but I hope it’s also evident that I have a real soft spot for these stories. No matter how ridiculous or silly they may seem, there’s a heart to them that not all comic books have, and even the silliest elements (such as a dog wearing a cape) can bear the seeds of greatness. Plenty of that to come for the girl of steel. 

Thur., May 22

Comics: Crisis on Infinite Earths #7, Superman #415, Christmas With the Super-Heroes #2, Supergirl Vol. 8 #1, Superman Unlimited #1, Action Comics #1086, DC X Sonic the Hedgehog #3, Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #39

Notes: So yesterday we dug into the origins of the Silver Age Supergirl. Today we’re gonna look at her ending. After years of secret adventures, time-travel with the Legion of Super-Heroes, and attempts to modernize her in the 70s and 80s by making her a college student and, later, a teacher, when the decision was made to restructure the DC Universe in the mid-80s, Supergirl was going to be taken off the table. So Crisis on Infinite Earths #7 gave her a heroic send-off (with one of the most iconic comic book covers of all time).

I rank this cover right after Marvel’s Madballs #6.

I’m not going to dig TOO deeply into the lore of Crisis. (I’m actually still contemplating whether I’ll do a week or two dedicated to the assorted DC crisis events and the roles of the Supers in each one – it’s a good idea, I think, but kind of a daunting task when you look at it.) Here’s the TL:DR: the Anti-Monitor is causing the destruction of the Multiverse, and at this point, only five universes remain. After a discussion of how the Multiverse was created in the first place, the heroes launch an assault on the Anti-Monitor’s citadel. Superman and Dr. Light find an enormous solar collector, an engine that is reducing the vibrational differences between the multiple Earths, causing them to occupy the same space and destroy one another. Superman winds up in a head-to-head battle against the Anti-Monitor, a being so immensely powerful that he’s being beaten to death – until Supergirl swoops in to the rescue. With her cousin on the ropes, Supergirl drives the Anti-Monitor into his own solar collector. When she looks back to check on Superman and Dr. Light, the Anti-Monitor unleashes a fatal attack, then escapes to lick his wounds. Kara lives just long enough to know that she succeeded – the solar collector is destroyed and the remaining worlds are saved.

For now.

And then she dies in Kal-El’s arms. 

If there’s one thing that bristles me in these crisis events, it’s when a hero dies a meaningless death. And these days, the revolving door in comic book heaven has begun to swing so rapidly that it’s impossible to take ANY death seriously. That said, if the story itself is good, it can still be impactful. Marv Wolfman and George Perez gave Kara the send-off she deserved – dying not only to save the entirety of the Multiverse, but specifically, to save her cousin. In terms of sheer scope, not even the Death of Superman can match up to it.  

That wasn’t quite the end for the original Kara Zor-El, however. I also want to look at a pair of epilogues to her story. The first came shortly after her death, in Superman #415.

This issue was the direct inspiration for The Maury Povich Show.

With the knowledge that this entire continuity would soon be rendered moot by the Man of Steel anyway, the creative teams on the Superman books took some big swings in their last year, including this story by Cary Bates and Curt Swan. Superman’s fancy ears pick up on a hypersonic code used to access the Fortress of Solitude, and since the only other person who knew that code is the late Supergirl, he races there immediately, finding an extraterrestrial invader stealing something from his memorial to her. The alien identifies himself as Salkor, superhero of his planet, and regales us with the story of how, two years ago, he found Supergirl drifting in space suffering from Kryptonite poisoning. He saved her, but she awakened with no memory of who she was (another amnesia story – I should be taking a tally of these). Salkor dubs the beautiful stranger ”Jasma.” The two of them become partners in defending his world, quickly falling in love. They got married, and Salkor gave her a device called a Hokku, which can record memories. But Jasma vanished one day after battling a mercenary called Naxx, and Salkor eventually tracked her down to Earth, where the news of her death broke his heart. He went to the Fortress merely to retrieve the Hokku he gave her. 

But Naxx is there as well, seeking revenge against Supergirl for defeating him. The two men she loved the most team up to defeat the mercenary, then find a holographic message left for both of them. In it, Kara tells Salkor that she regained her memories, but lost knowledge of him, making her way back to Earth, her full memories not being restored until later. Superman and Salkor part as friends, united in their grief for the girl of steel. 

It’s kind of a wild story. Cary Bates is counting on the reader accepting that Kara – upon regaining her memory – wouldn’t tell Clark or anybody else about her marriage on another planet. (Although I guess keeping that kind of thing a secret would be sort of a Silver Age thing to do.) The other thing is that Kara supposedly got her memory back after a battle that happened in her own series, and having read that series, I gotta tell you that the issues after that battle do NOT read like a girl mourning her lost love from across the universe.

Still, none of that makes this a bad story. It’s a sad, bittersweet farewell to a beloved character that DC knew was about to be taken off the table very definitively, in that once Byrne’s reboot kicked in she wouldn’t exist at all. 

The most enduring epilogue to the story of Supergirl, however, didn’t come until 1989 and DC’s second Christmas With the Super-Heroes special…which I have to admit, I feel weird about reading in May, as I’m usually quite strict about limiting seasonal content to the appropriate season. But hey, this is Christmas with a purpose. There are several good stories in this issue, starting with an uncharacteristically dour Superman story by Paul Chadwick (but it’s got an optimistic ending). Then, after stories featuring Batman, Wonder Woman, Enemy Ace, Green Lantern and the Flash, we finally get to the real reason we’re including this in Supergirl week: the Deadman story!

Bear with me, I’m going somewhere with this.

In “Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot” by Alan Brennert and Dick Giordano, Deadman is drifting around having a very bitter Christmas. The lights, the music, the goodwill – to a ghost, denied even the pleasure of human touch unless he steals those moments away from someone who is living – well, it’s all kind of depressing. After a few brief encounters where he does just that, steals time from the living, a despondent Boston Brand rages against the goddess that trapped him in this state…until he’s suddenly approached by a young woman who can see him, hear him – even touch him, as evidenced when she whips off his mask. Deadman has been feeling sorry for himself, for the fact that for all the good he’s done, nobody even knows about it. The young woman looks him in the eye and says, “We do it because it needs to be done. Because if we don’t, no one else will. And we do it even if no one knows what we’ve done. Even if no one knows we exist. Even if no one remembers we EVER existed.” Having restored some of Boston’s faith, the woman turns to leave, but he stops her, saying “I don’t even know your name.”

Like fun it doesn’t.

It didn’t mean anything to Deadman, but it meant a hell of a lot to us. 

To this day, I’m kind of surprised that DC allowed this story to go through. The edict was that Superman was the sole survivor of Krypton, that he always had been, that we were supposed to pretend that Supergirl and Krypto and the Kandorians and all the rest just…never were. But Alan Brennert used that edict to surreptitiously pay tribute to a fallen hero and give all the fans a little wink at the camera.

Man, I love this story. 

But enough about the past – how about the present? I’m going to take a few paragraphs now to talk about some of the new Superman-family comics that have come out in the last couple of weeks, starting with the first issue of the new volume of Supergirl.

Remember when comics were fun? IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN, PEOPLE!

The new series, with story and art by Sophie Campbell, starts off with a great recap of Supergirl’s current status quo. Considering how much it’s changed and been warped over the years, this is pretty necessary, even for regular readers like me. Here’s the quick version: Supergirl (now a young adult who seems to have carried over some of the history of her pre-Crisis version) returns to Midvale, where the Danvers have returned to their old home. When she gets there, she finds that the town is obsessed with being the home of Supergirl, which sets Kara off a little bit…especially when she encounters another girl wearing a Supergirl costume who seems to have convinced the town that she’s the real deal. I absolutely LOVED this first issue. Campbell does a great job bringing new readers up to speed on who Kara is these days, including lots of little Easter Eggs like her hair color-changing comb, a reference to the late (apparently) Dick Malverne, and some of her old costumes. The art style is also awesome – it looks like it could have come from a cartoon, although not a SPECIFIC cartoon. It’s not aping Superman: The Animated Series or anything else, it’s just a kind of playful, lightly inked style that feels very much like a cartoon, and I hope everyone understands that I mean that as a compliment. I put this first issue down feeling very good about the future of the Girl of Steel.

Okay, it’s not Supergirl. But isn’t it pretty?

Also launching this week is Dan Slott and Rafael Albuquerque’s Superman Unlimited, which we got a preview of on Free Comic Book Day. The first act of this issue are the same pages from that book, in which we learn about the Daily Planet’s new status quo as a global news organization, then Superman flies into space where he finds an enormous Kryptonite meteor plummeting towards Earth. Superman’s life flashes before his eyes, providing a VERY handy recap of all the major points of his story in continuity for the sake of anybody who has never read Superman, or at least, hasn’t read him in a long time. (Most importantly to me: Slott establishes that Clark WAS, in fact, Superboy, and he WAS, in fact, a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes, and for reinstating that piece of continuity I believe he deserves, at minimum, the Nobel Prize.) 

The book ends on a nice little cliffhanger, and while most of it is set-up, it’s a really satisfying set-up. Slott has a good handle on the character, and Albuquerque’s artwork is great. DC is very much living up to their “Summer of Superman” pledge thus far. 

This is already shaping up to be the longest blog in the history of the Year of Superman (so far), so lemme rapid-fire the last few. Action Comics #1086 is the finale of “Solitude” by G. Willow Wilson and Gavin Guidry, finishing up Superman’s battle against the Kilg%re in the Arctic. Good issue, great art, and I still really like the Arctic costume Superman wears in this one. I want it on a Funko Pop. Issue #2 of DC X Sonic the Hedgehog ended with the Justice League trapped in Sonic’s world and Team Sonic on Earth. In issue 3, the Sonic characters have to step up and replace the Justice League, not only when it comes to protecting Earth, but also in finding the Chaos Emeralds needed to reopen the portal to return home. They do so while wearing the Justice League’s uniforms, and there will most certainly be action figures of these. Finally, Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #39 brings us part four of “We Are Yesterday.” The modern day Superman, Batman, and Nightwing get swapped with their respective counterparts from the World’s Finest era in a charming story. While the versions from the past keep getting glimpses of the future, the current versions are stuck trying not to alter anything from history. There are a few really great moments in this issue, and I’m psyched for the last two chapters. 

Fri., May 23

Comics: Superman/Batman #8-13, 19

“I’ve got a telegram from Will Smith. It says ‘Welcome to Earf.’ I know you don’t get it yet, but you’ve got a lot of human pop culture to catch up on.”

Notes: After nearly two decades of a Superman Status Quo that allowed for no other Kryptonians, the tide finally changed in the early 2000s. First came the restoration of Krypto, and then “The Supergirl From Krypton,” a six-issue story from Superman/Batman #8-13, written by Jeph Loeb with art by the late Michael Turner. With Superman in hiding as the rest of the world’s heroes try to gather up Kryptonite from a massive meteor that fell in the previous storyline (yeah, Unlimited isn’t the first time such a thing has been done), Batman is called upon to investigate an enormous chunk in Gotham Harbor. That chunk includes a rocket, and in that rocket turns out to be a confused teenage girl speaking Kryptonian. When she’s brought to Superman, the two converse in Kryptonian and he proudly introduces her to Bruce as Kara Zor-el, his cousin.

The two keep Supergirl in hiding for months, Batman in particular feeling skeptical as to the truth about who she says she is, before Wonder Woman demands to bring her to Themyscira. Kara trains there for a time, but the island is attacked by Darkseid’s forces (including Doomsday clones) who kidnap Kara and take her to Apokolips. The three heroes team up with Big Barda to mount a rescue effort, only to find that Kara has been brainwashed by Darkseid. Clark has to break her out of it, bringing her back to Earth. As he takes her to Smallville, though, Darkseid attacks again, seemingly killing Kara with his Omega Beams. Superman unleashes like never before, taking Darkseid to space and trapping him in the Source Wall, where he declares the Lord of Apokalips will never bother them again (spoiler alert: he was wrong). Kara, we then learn, was teleported to safety, and Superman introduces Supergirl to Earth’s heroes.

Hey, look at that. I CAN write a shorter recap.

Anyway, as far as modern interpretations of Kara’s origin go, this works out much better than finding her in a rocket and immediately taking her to the orphanage. It was inevitable that Batman would play a large part in the story (remember the title of the series, after all), but it’s nice to note how heavily they leaned on Wonder Woman in this too. If there’s anyone on Earth that Kara could relate to in her first few days on the planet, after all, it’s probably her. This is – more or less – the Kara that exists today, although there are some continuity questions that definitely arise, such as her having lived with the Danvers in her current series. 

There was also an epilogue of sorts a few issues later, issue #19, where we saw more of Kara trying to fit in and taking down bad guys. That issue was later reprinted as issue #0 of her next ongoing series (I believe it was Supergirl Vol. 4), which eventually established some things about Kara that have remained in continuity – such as the idea that she was actually OLDER than Kal-El, but trapped in suspended animation for decades as he grew up, and the notion that her powers are potentially greater than his. I rather like both of these conceits and I’m glad that DC, as well as most of the adaptations, have stuck with them over the years.

Sat., May 24

Comics: Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow #1-8

“IIIIIII HAAAAAAAVE THE POWEEEEEEEEEER!”

Notes: Today I decided to jump to the most acclaimed Supergirl story of the modern era, and the inspiration for her upcoming movie, Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow by Tom King and Bilquis Evely. In this 2021-2022 miniseries, Supergirl has taken Krypto on a little spaceflight to celebrate her 21st birthday, off for a party on a planet where a red sun diminishes her powers. On this world, she meets a child named Ruthye Marye Knoll, who tries to hire Supergirl to hunt down and kill an assassin named Krem of the Yellow Hills, the man who murdered Ruthye’s father. Supergirl initially refuses, but when a fight against Krem mortally wounds Krypto, Supergirl’s only hope is to track down Krem and get a sample of the poison that is killing our good, good boy. What follows is an eight-issue odyssey across the universe as Supergirl and Ruthye seek Krem and, in the process, learn where true power comes from.

Tom King is, as I’ve said before in this blog, a somewhat divisive writer. And honestly, I don’t agree with it. I’ve never read a story by Tom King that I really hated, even the ones that get the most vitriol online. In fact – here’s a confession for you – if you had asked me the summer of 2022 what my least-favorite King story was, I probably would have said Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow.

And I would have been wrong.

Allow me to explain. This book is a slow burn. There’s some action, yes, but it’s only a superhero comic by a technicality. There are very few superhero elements to it, and even fewer science fiction elements. In fact, between the purple prose and the gorgeous artwork by Bilquis Evely, it reads more like a fantasy epic than either of the other more logical genres into which it is usually placed. And I don’t mind a slow burn at all, but slow burns don’t always work in monthly comic books. By the time each issue of Woman of Tomorrow came out, I had sort of forgotten and lost track of where the story was, and that made it a difficult read. I don’t like the process of “writing for the trade paperback” that some writers engage in, and this is a perfect example of why.

Last summer, though, on an airplane to Pittsburgh, I decided to give this story another chance. I read it in its entirety for the first time, and when I did THAT, it was a totally different ballgame. Suddenly I understood why it was so highly acclaimed. I understood why DC Studios had chosen it to be the inspiration for the upcoming movie, because when you read all eight chapters together, my friends, it’s a beautiful thing.

The story is told not through Supergirl’s eyes, but through a book written by Ruthye years after the events have taken place. So instead of hearing inner monologue from Kara about how misguided this poor, orphaned child is to seek revenge, we get Ruthye’s interpretation of events, and we get to see how she is shaped and changed by the presence of Supergirl in her life. This isn’t an action story, but a character study and a meditation on what is needed to bring peace to a troubled soul. The S-shield, as we all know, stands for hope, and that’s the characteristic that we all so often attribute to Superman. That’s fine. But when it comes to SuperGIRL, I think her strongest power is her compassion, her capacity to love, and her ability to impart those feelings on others. This story sells it without misstep. 

The ending of the book, I have to warn you, is oddly ambiguous. In fact, it wasn’t until my third reading that I really think I’ve fully grasped what happened. It’s a character moment that fits perfectly, and if my interpretation is correct, it’s actually one of the few spots of humor in what is otherwise a very dramatic tale. But there’s debate out there over what actually happened, so I’ll leave it to you to read and decide for yourself what you think is the final fate of Ruthye Marye Knoll and Krem of the Yellow Hills.

I’m also tremendously impressed that they’re going with this story, in particular, to base a MOVIE on. I’m not sure exactly HOW faithful it’ll be to the comic book. They have, of course, included both Ruthye and Krem in the cast (played respectively by Eve Ridley and Matthias Schoenaerts), but they’ve also thrown in Jason Momoa as Lobo, who doesn’t appear anywhere in the story. If they keep it MOSTLY faithful, though, it’s going to be quite a departure for superhero fans. We’ve gotten used to years of movies where the stakes just keep getting raised – gotta beat the villain becomes gotta win the war becomes gotta save the world becomes gotta save half the universe. Now we’ve even got multiple universes at risk. But at its core, the stakes for Woman of Tomorrow are relatively small. There are no universes, planets, or civilizations in danger. The struggles in this comic book are done for the sake of one dog wounded by poisoned arrows and one girl wounded by a shattered heart. Compared to your average superhero movie, that’s small potatoes. But I think that’s exactly what we need – a reminder that a story need not be about the sake of the entire universe to be compelling, and that the battle for a single soul is just as worthy of telling. It’s a beautiful comic book. Here’s hoping we get a beautiful movie, too. 

Sun., May 25

RIP Peter David, 1956-2025

Once again, we’ve got to pause the Year of Superman to pay tribute to a creator who has left us. Today it was announced that legendary comic book writer and novelist Peter David has passed away. David may have been one of the most prolific writers of the last half-century, having done epic runs on Marvel comics like Incredible Hulk , Captain Marvel, Spider-Man, and X-Factor, having co-created Spider-Man 2099, adapting Stephen King’s Dark Tower series, and work at DC on books like Young Justice, Aquaman, and Star Trek. David also wrote dozens of novels, including Star Trek adaptations and original stories, works adapting various other comics, movies, and TV shows, and his own original works such as Sir Apropos of Nothing. He wrote for TV and movies as well, including episodes of Babylon 5 and, with Bill Mumy, creating the Nickelodeon sci-fi series Space Cases. David never did an extended run on Superman, but his Supergirl series from the 90s took the Matrix version of that character and turned it on its ear, reinventing her, melding bits of classic Supergirl lore, and turning her into an entirely unique creation the likes of which neither DC nor anybody else had ever seen before. In fact, the only page of original comic book art I own is a page by Leonard Kirk from one of David’s Supergirl issues, in which she encounters Mary Marvel. I had already planned to cover at least the beginning of David’s Supergirl run in a later week, but I feel like it’s going to be sooner than I intended now. 

His characters were always rich and his prose was full of humor and imagination. He was a favorite of mine for a very long time, and although his output has dwindled in recent years as his health declined, the knowledge that there will never be more has me deeply saddened. 

RIP, “Writer of Stuff.” You are already missed. 

TV Episodes: Superman: The Animated Series Season 2, Episode 27-28, “Little Girl Lost” Parts 1 and 2

She pulls that shirt off better than I do, I’m not gonna lie.

Notes: Superman takes a craft into deep space, following the path of the rocket that brought him to Earth, in the hopes of finding some remnant of his destroyed homeworld. To his dismay, the planet is nothing but debris, but his spacecraft picks up a distress beacon from another world in the system. Superman arrives to find a frozen planet and a hologram telling him that this world was Argo, sister planet of Krypton, which was thrown out of its orbit when Krypton was destroyed. Superman finds a single survivor, a young girl in suspended animation. He brings the girl, Kara, back to Earth, where the Kents care for her as she acclimates to Earth. But Kara, anxious to explore the world, rushes to Metropolis in the hopes of “helping” Clark deal with his current Intergang problem. Instead of listening to Clark’s warning to wait in his apartment, though, Kara flirts her way into accompanying Jimmy Olsen on his own Intergang investigation. Part one of the two-parter ends with Jimmy and Kara going a bit too far and coming face-to-face with Granny Goodness and the Female Furies of Apokalips. In part two, as Supergirl throws down with the Furies, Superman shows up to help, but gets captured by the Furies. Supergirl finds a device in the rubble to open a portal to Apokalips and heads off to rescue him. She does, but destroys the machine that would have stopped a comet Darkseid has hurtled towards Earth. Superman tries stopping it the hard way, but the momentum is just too great, prompting Kara to fly into it at top speed, destroying it. You know – like Supergirls do. In the end, Jimmy gets the scoop of the year – Supergirl stops Intergang AND saves the world – and Earth gets a brand-new hero. 

I may be cheating here just a little bit. I said that this week I was only going to focus on Kara Zor-El, and TECHNICALLY, this Supergirl doesn’t qualify, as she’s actually Kara In-Ze of Argo. But I’m including it anyway for a few reasons. First: this was obviously the compromise Paul Dini and Bruce Timm came up with when DC wouldn’t allow them to have a Kryptonian Supergirl. Second: this two-part episode is too classic not to include. And third: It’s my blog, dammit. 

Kryptonian or not, in terms of personality, this is EXACTLY who I think Supergirl should be in her early days on Earth. She’s young, earnest, eager to help people, but also restless and impatient, faced with an entire new planet to explore in the hopes of finding a new home to replace the one that she lost. There have been times (lookin’ at YOU, New 52) where Supergirl has been played more angsty, more angry at having lost her homeworld…and while that may be justified, that doesn’t really feel like her character to me. Whereas Robin is the tempering influence to Batman, bringing light into the darkness of his world, I see Supergirl as a sort of conduit to Superman’s youth, a reminder that even to heroes with the power and responsibilities of gods, there is still room for joy. This, I think, is my favorite Supergirl, and the animated series captured that masterfully. 

TV Episode: Smallville, Season 7, Episode 2, “Kara”

Notes: I was a devoted viewer of Smallville during its TV run. I never missed an episode, and I enjoyed most of it. But I actually haven’t really revisited the show that much since the initial airing, so this is an interesting experience. I know I’ve seen this episode before, but watching it out of context like this, I’m trying to remember just what was going on in the show. Lois and Clark aren’t a couple yet, and she doesn’t seem to know about his powers, but where are all the 1,001 CW subplots at this point in season 7? Maybe it’s time to do a full rewatch.

Maybe not just yet, I’ve got a LOT of other Superman on my plate.

“STOP! In the NAAAAME of DOUBLE-L NAAAAAAMES!”

Anyway, in this episode Clark and Lois find a spacecraft and encounter a young woman who swiftly knocks out Lois and warns Clark not to touch her stuff before zooming into the sky and looking down into a token from the House of El with the image of a baby in it. Clark is stunned not only to face another Kryptonian, but one who – unlike him – can FLY. As Chloe tracks down a subplot (I’m gonna skip the non-Kara stuff in my recap or we’ll be here all day), Clark seeks out the flying girl, who is shocked to find that he has powers as well. Together they piece together their combined history: she is Kara, daughter of Zor-El, sent to Earth to protect her baby cousin and, with him, save Krypton from destruction. But when her ship landed on Earth in the same meteor shower that brought Kal-El to the Kents, she was buried and trapped in suspended animation for 18 years until a collapsing dam a few episodes ago set her free. Bigger problems, though – someone has taken her ship, and if they don’t get it back, the humans trying to open it up may well trigger a nuclear explosion.  

Unlike the animated Kara, this episode doesn’t actually end the story, but I don’t have time to down an entire season of Smallville, so let me just talk a little about Laura Vandervoot and her version of the character. Despite being the Supergirl actress with, objectively, the name that is most fun to say at parties, her version of the character is a bit angrier than I usually like. She’s got a little bit of a chip on her shoulder, angry at having been sent to a world that she clearly views as being primitive, perhaps even angrier at learning that the baby she was sent to protect is now older than she is. None of this is out of character, mind you, considering the way that the story is shaped in Smallville, and by the end of this episode we come around to the fact that much of her anger is based on grief over the loss of her homeworld. Vandervoot’s Supergirl isn’t my favorite, but it would be hard to argue that it isn’t perfect for this specific series. 

TV Episodes: My Adventures With Superman Season 2, Episodes 4-10

THIS Supergirl costume, on the other hand, I could rock.

Notes: I almost forgot that Supergirl made her debut in the second season of My Adventures With Superman – forgot mostly because I never got around to FINISHING that second season. So on a lazy Sunday afternoon with my wife at work, I decided to play a little catch-up. I’m not going to go into a deep recap of an entire half-season of the show, but here’s the quick version: Kara comes to Earth and brings Clark to her “Father,” who turns out to be not Zor-El, but Brainiac. Brainiac tries to use Clark’s body to take over Earth in the name of his “New Kryptonian Empire,” but Lois saves him with the Power of Love, and then all our heroes team up to fight Brainiac. 

I don’t mean for that to sound dismissive, because there’s really quite a lot about this show I like. But I’ll get more into that when I do “Pilot Week” or whatever the hell I’m going to wind up calling it. Today, let’s talk about Kara. This version of Kara has been manipulated by Brainiac for an unknown number of years, and she comes to Earth with an anger to her, even more than the Smallville version. As I’ve said before, I don’t like Angry Supergirl, but I did like watching how – over the course of this season – Clark and his friends chipped away and the shell Brainiac built around her and helped guide her to the light. Her interactions with Jimmy Olsen in particular are adorable, with both of them coming across as young people with a crush who don’t really know how to deal with it. 

The climactic battle, to be honest, is a little disappointing. What we get in the end is a Kara under Brainiac’s mind-control doing battle with Clark, who tries to turn things around using the standard “I know you’re still in there!” defense that superheroes always use on allies suffering from mind control. I won’t spoil the ending of the fight for you, but if you’re at all familiar with storytelling tropes, I probably don’t have to. That said, the execution of this very familiar trope is pretty good, and ultimately, we end the season with a new version of Supergirl that I hope to see more of in season three.  

Mon., May 26

Comics: Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the 8th Grade #1-6

I don’t remember the 8th grade being this much fun.

Notes: In 2008, writer Landry Q. Walker and artist Eric Jones gave us an utterly delightful young readers miniseries, Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the 8th Grade. This series gave us a ground-up reimagining for Supergirl in a format for younger readers. It was one of DC’s early attempts this century to start making headway into the YA market, and when they launched their YA graphic novel program a few years later, the paperback edition of this story was rightfully included.

In this version, Kara’s rocket crashes in Metropolis, where she accidentally thwarts a Lex Luthor plot. She tells Superman her story – she’s from Argo, a moon of Krypton in this continuity, and stowed away on a rocket her father was sending to Earth to contact Superman. Unfortunately, she passed through a dimensional barrier to get to Earth, and Superman has no idea how to send her back. A Supergirl who’s homesick is nothing new, but it’s pretty rare for that home to still exist, giving her a quest to find a way back.

Stuck on Earth, Superman supplies her with a secret identity and enrolls her in Stanhope Boarding School, where she struggles to fit in to this new Earth culture. She has difficulty controlling her powers and accidentally creates an evil duplicate of herself – Belinda Zee (who is not QUITE a Bizarro, but kind of like the Mean Girls version of that) who begins making her life a living hell. Things start to pick up when she finally makes a friend, an incredibly smart young woman named Lena Thorul. Things are starting to look better…but may get worse when Kara finds out her only friend is the sister of Lex Luthor.

Over the course of six issues, we’re treated to new versions of Comet and Streaky, we get teases about the Legion of Super-Heroes, and the revelation of the real villain of the piece still cracks me up all these years later. It was a truly magnificent series, one that I passed along to my nieces once they were old enough to start reading comics. The tragedy is that the book ends with multiple sequel hooks, and Walker and Jones tried for years to get the promised Cosmic Adventures in the 9th Grade underway. For some reason or another, though, it just never happened, and after the untimely passing of Eric Jones in 2022, it seems unlikely that it ever will. But this is without a doubt one of my favorite interpretations of Supergirl, one that even an old man like me enjoys coming back and revisiting every so often. The book has been reprinted several times, with a new edition scheduled for release in August (no doubt as part of the whole “Summer of Superman” foofarah). And if you’ve got kids around that middle school age, it’s a perfect book for them. 

Tues., May 27

Movie: Supergirl (1984)

Novel: Supergirl by Norma Fox Mazer

Comic: Supergirl: The Official Adaptation of the Movie #1

Notes: In 1984, the Salkinds decided to expand their Superman movie franchise with a spinoff featuring his cousin. And as luck would have it, I own not only the DVD, but also the novelization of the film AND the comic book adaptation of the same. So I thought it would be pretty fitting to close off Supergirl Week by taking a look at all three versions of this story.

“You will believe a franchise can spin-off.”

In the movie, we find ourselves on Argo City, last remnant of the planet Krypton, where young Kara (Helen Slater) is shown a powerful device called the Omegahedron by her teacher, Zaltar (Peter O’Toole). But Zaltar wasn’t supposed to have the Omegahedron, and an accident sends it beyond the shield that protects Argo from space. Turns out that the Omegahedron was the city’s power source, and without it, they have only days to live. Kara takes a ship to follow the Omegahedron to Earth, where it has fallen into the hands of a would-be witch named Selena (Faye Dunaway). The Omegahedron enhances Selena’s power’s greatly, taking her from the level of parlor tricks to being a potential world-conquering threat. Unfortunately for the world, Superman is on a mission in outer space.

In her search for the Omegahedron, Kara takes on the human identity of Linda Lee and enrolls in a local boarding school, where she forges a letter from her famous cousin, Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent, to vouch for her. She’s assigned a dorm room with Lucy Lane (Maureen Teefy), sister of Lois, who she quickly befriends and introduces her to her kinda-boyfriend Jimmy Olsen (Marc McClure, reprising his role from the Reeve movies). With the threat of utter destruction looming for Argo City, Linda proceeds to…take classes and play field hockey. Seriously, she spends a large chunk of this film acting like a normal Earth girl trying to hide her powers with absolutely no sense of urgency to save her family, friends, and entire civilization, for whom she is their only hope of survival. Selena, meanwhile, is practicing her magic, casting a spell that she intends to use to get the hunky handyman Ethan (Hart Bochner, whom you may remember as being the asshole John McClane doesn’t know in Die Hard) to fall in love with her. Instead, it accidentally makes him head-over-heels for Linda. For some reason, this also has the side-effect of making him talk the way that people who don’t understand Shakespeare think characters in Shakespeare plays talk.

Selena somehow manages to send Supergirl to the Phantom Zone, where she finds Zaltar has been exiled for his role in the loss of the Omegahedron. As Selena creates a mountain in the middle of Midvale to serve as her new fortress, Supergirl struggles to escape the Zone. Zaltar, who has fallen into despair in the Zone, leads her to the one way to escape, which makes you wonder why Zod and company never gave that one a shot. Zaltar perishes in the escape attempt, but Kara makes it through, returns to Earth, and defeats Selena, bringing the Omegahedron back to Argo City. And in the end, I’m just left wondering what the hell Clark Kent is gonna thnk when Jimmy gets back to Metropolis and says, “Hey, I met your cousin. Also I was briefly captured by a witch until a girl wearing a Superman costume beat her up.”

I’ll cut to the chase: this is not a good movie. The villain performances are hammy and overacted, the love potion subplot is just plain creepy (Selena’s fixation on the much younger Ethan has a nonconsensual “Mrs. Robinson” vibe, and even once it rebounds and he falls for Linda one should remember that he’s an adult and she’s a high school student), and there’s a lot of little nonsensical stuff that was probably necessitated by the low budget, such as Kara popping out of her spacecraft in a Supergirl costume with no explanation. And the abundance of cheese in this film just makes the stuff that IS good even more tragic, because so much of this movie deserved better than it got.

Helen Slater, first of all. She is perfectly cast – quiet and lovely, with an otherworldly charm that is entirely appropriate for the character. She pulls off the “stranger in a strange land” routine flawlessly, and she alone would make this movie worth watching. In the modern movie climate, they’d have had her make a cameo in Superman III or something before spinning her off into her own film, and this is one of the few times where I wish they HAD used modern techniques in the 80s, just because I wish we could have seen her play Supergirl more than once. (I’m not counting that scene in Flash.) As it is, the only real ties to the Christopher Reeve films are a poster of Superman in Lucy’s dorm and a totally superfluous appearance by Marc McClure as Jimmy Olsen, adding nothing to the plot. I would like to give them credit for adhering to canon by having him date Lucy Lane, but as with Ethan, in this continuity he’s way too old to be hooking up with a high school student. 

The score, by Jerry Goldsmith, also top-notch. Not John Williams good, of course, but it’s got a nice ethereal quality to it, less like a science fiction score and more like a fantasy film, which is appropriate for the tone of this movie. You could drop this score into something like Willow and it wouldn’t feel out of place at all. 

Even the special effects, considering the time period, are pretty good. And I love the design of Argo City, even if it doesn’t really match what Richard Donner’s version of Krypton looked like in the first Superman movie, but I can chalk that up to different cities having different styles. I mean, it’s not like New Orleans looks like San Francisco, right? 

“Are You There, Rao? It’s Me, Kara.”

As was often the case in the 80s, Supergirl got a novelization as well. I happened to pick it up on eBay some time back, in one of those moments where I snag weird stuff that I like. (By the way, if anyone wants to get me something for my birthday, just find a box of old movie and TV novelizations from the 80s on eBay. I have a strange fascination with those.) The novelization is by Norma Fox Mazer, whose body of work outside of this adaptation seems to be largely in the category of novels for children and teenage girls, which is pretty appropriate for adapting Supergirl. Her pedigree absolutely shows, too, filling the book with odd diversions and tangents that feel like the could have spilled from a Judy Blume novel, things like Kara feeling intimidated by her mother’s beauty, or interjections from Lucy’s point of view that work in the sort of slang that an adult novelist in the 80s probably thought that teenagers used, although as a child of the 80s myself I’m somewhat skeptical of their authenticity. 

The strangest thing about the book, though, is the timeline. The film makes it quite clear that Kara has only days to recover the Omegahedron before Argo is doomed, but the novel makes it seem as though Linda is enrolled at Stanhope for months before she recovers it and makes it home. It seems as though she’d return to a dead planet as far as the novel goes. But like I said, I have a weird fascination with these kinds of novelizations, especially since many of them were written before the film itself was finished, and I find the differences intriguing. This isn’t a great novel in the same way that the film isn’t a great movie, but like the movie, I still had fun reading it. 

I need you people to know that I exposed myself to three different versions of this story. THREE. Because I love you.

The comic book adaptation does a better job, I think. Written by Joey Cavlieri with art by Gray Morrow, it tells the story in a much more abbreviated way. This mostly eliminates the problem of making it seem like Kara is spending too much time on Earth while Argo is dying, and the art by Morrow is really lovely. He even does a good job of making the characters look like the actors, which isn’t easy. And even artists who do that well often do so at the expense of a certain liveliness, with art that looks like a static photographic rather than a dynamic comic book page. Morrow conquers that challenge. With the material they were given to work with, I think the comic did a superior job of adapting what was a weak screenplay. 

Originally I planned for Supergirl Week to include the pilot episode of Melissa Benoist’s TV series from 2015 as well, but fate had other plans, in the form of a power outage followed by an internet outage yesterday and into this morning that cut into the time that I planned to devote to the show. But you know, I’m pretty sure this is already the longest installment of the Year of Superman blog to date, so maybe it’s okay if I leave one thing for later. Besides, I’ve long planned a week where I watch the pilot episodes of all the assorted Superman TV shows, and I think I’ll have time to sneak in Melissa then. And if not, who knows? There may be time yet for Supergirl Week Part II. 

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. You can join in the Kryptonian Konversation every day in the Year of Superman Facebook Group!

Geek Punditry #125: Summer of Seratonin

This column is NOT going to be about Superman, although I’m going to mention him briefly here in the beginning.

If you follow this blog all week and not just on Fridays when I throw Geek Punditry at you, you’ve probably noticed my Year of Superman posts on Wednesdays. I started the Year of Superman because December was rough and I thought immersing myself in Superman would make 2025 a great year. And I’m enjoying the hell out of having a taste of Superman every day. But aside from that, 2025 has kind of been an asshole, and I’m starting to take it personally. But now it’s May, and by the time you read this my semester will be over and I’ll be off for the summer. So the question is, can I find enough stuff – in addition to the new Superman Unlimited comic, Mark Waid taking over Action Comics, new series for Supergirl and Krypto, a miniseries all about different shades of Kryptonite, and (oh yeah) the new Superman movie – to have summer start to make up for a craptacular first half of the year? 

This legit might not be enough.

Because the truth is, Superman isn’t the ONLY thing I’m excited for. In fact, there are several things coming out this summer that I’m very excited about and I can’t wait to read, watch, and otherwise explore. So today I’m going to talk about some of the things I’m MOST excited for, things that I hope will perk me up even more, and bring the year around. 

Vin Diesel is still pissed they didn’t cast him for this one on general principle.

Superman is my favorite superhero (that’s probably the last time I’ll mention him), but most people who know me know that my #2 is Benjamin J. Grimm, the ever-lovin’ blue-eyed Thing, and I am very excited to see him hit the screen in a couple of months. But for all the comic book greatness, there hasn’t really been a Fantastic Four MOVIE that has worked. There was a movie in the 90s made only to retain the movie rights with no intention of ever seeing wide release, and ironically, despite its shoestring budget it had some earnestness to it…but it looked like it was made on a shoestring. In the 00s, we got a pair of movies that were…okay. And in 2015 there was a movie that should never again be mentioned in polite society. After four previous tries, director Matt Shakman’s Fantastic Four: First Steps finally looks like a movie that’s going to give us an FF that delivers. 

There have been two trailers so far (well, a teaser and a full trailer), trailers that have shown us a Fantastic Four in a very 60s sci-fi pop environment, something that’s absolutely perfect for these characters. The thing to remember about the Fantastic Four is that – although they are technically superheroes – the flavor is less like the Justice League and more similar to the classic sci-fi heroes like Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers. The Fantastic Four are explorers, inventors, and innovators before anything else, and the previous iterations have never quite captured that. In this movie, we’ve got costumes that actually look like space suits. Characters who are clearly known and beloved around the world. And as this is, in fact, part of the MCU’s “Multiverse Saga,” these are the characters who fit that concept the most.

This is a picture that says “suit us up, we’re going to space.”

I know a lot of fans who keep trying to turn the FF Vs. Superman (okay I lied) into some sort of competition – they both come out in July, so who’s movie is going to do better? What an incredibly short-sighted notion. It drives me crazy when people insist on taking sides. You can love two things, IT’S ALLOWED, and I’ve got no doubt that Clark would be in the front row when First Steps premieres on July 15, just two weeks after his movie comes out.

But I don’t get to the movie theaters that often these days – if I actually make it twice in July, it will be a record in a post-Eddie world. So I’m going to be turning to the television for some of this entertainment serotonin as well, and thank goodness, there are two shows returning to the airwaves this ye– wait, they’re on streaming services, not over the air. It doesn’t matter, the principle applies anyway. First up, coming to Disney+ in a few weeks, is a revival of the classic animated series Phineas and Ferb. The original series, which ended nearly ten years ago, was one of the funniest cartoons of the century so far, and like all brilliant ideas, it’s remarkably simple. Two step-brothers spend their summer vacation building absurdly improbable contraptions and inventions as their sister desperately tries and fails to get their mother to catch them in the act while, simultaneously, their pet platypus who is really a secret agent has to stop a mad scientist in his constant efforts to take over the Tri-State area. What could be simpler?

Legally, summer belongs to these guys, but I’m pretty sure they’ll let me borrow it if I ask nicely and promise to fill up the tank before I give it back.

In all honesty, though, the original series was delightful, charming, and unfailingly funny. When Disney announced they were bringing it back, I was unashamedly thrilled. The same creators are back, along with most of the original cast, and they’re picking it back up again the next summer. More adventures, more music, more -inators, and there’s even a preview available of the first few minutes right now. If watching these few minutes of greatness doesn’t get you excited for the return, then you clearly just hate joy. June 5 is the target date for this one.

My one question – my ONLY question – is about the Danville school system. 104 days of summer vacation? ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR? I’ve never even made it to SEVENTY. 

The other show I’m super psyched for this week is the return of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds with a two-episode drop on July 17. While the modern versions of Trek have been hit or miss for a lot of fans, Strange New Worlds is perhaps the most universally acclaimed of the series. Set aboard the original Enterprise in the years before James T. Kirk became the captain, Strange New Worlds has the most classically “Trek” feeling of any of the other live-action shows of the modern era, living up to its name with exploration of planets and civilizations we’ve never seen before. It also is far more successful than some of these other versions at attacking the sort of high-minded sci-fi concepts the original brought in without being too heavy-handed or on-the-nose like certain others I could mention.

Thank God, a Star Trek that remembers what “allegory” means again.

The wait for a new season of Strange New Worlds hasn’t been as long as the wait for Phineas and Ferb – a mere two years instead of ten – but Strange New Worlds’s last season ended on a cliffhanger. The wait was exacerbated by the Hollywood writers and actors going on strike in 2023, and now we’re finally going to find out what happened after Captain Pike and the crew of the Enterprise…

…uh…

…crap, it’s been two years, guys. I guess I really need to watch the last season again.

But you know, that’s okay. Summer is just starting, and I’ll need stuff to make it worthwhile. So I’ll re-watch the first two seasons of Strange New Worlds. And I’ll watch classic Phineas and Ferb. And I’ll read more Fantastic Four and Superman comics (hell with it). Because these are the things that make me happy, and when the world does whatever it can to make the summer seem long, hot, and unbearable, these are the things I’ll be turning to, making it a little bit better.

Oh, and also the love of family and friends and all that stuff.

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. If you’ve got more summer greatness that you’re looking forward to, let him know. He’s actually quite concerned that the stuff he’s listed isn’t going to be enough to fill the tank. 

Year of Superman Week 20: Super-Sponsor

I’ve seen a few people online worry that, with only two months left until the debut of James Gunn’s Superman, there hasn’t been enough marketing yet. They’re worried that it shows a lack of confidence in the film. But to the contrary, I think we’re about to see Warner Bros repeat what they did two years ago with Barbie. Just like Superman, up until May there wasn’t an awful lot of official chatter yet. Then there was an AVALANCHE. New trailers, merch, a website where you could turn yourself into a Barbie meme. There was no escaping it and, in case you didn’t notice it, it turned out to be the highest grossing movie of the year. I think we’re at the beginning of that same push, and it started this week.

The debut of the new Superman trailer makes this the perfect week to kick off “Super-Sponsor,” a look at some commercials and comics that have featured the Man of Steel over the years. It’s always amused me, how fictional characters get pulled in to make a pitch for things like dog food, and I’m sure that this week is going to trigger some core memories for people. But first…

Wed., May 14

Official Superman Trailer

This guy is James Gunn’s self-insert for the entire DCU.

Notes: It’s funny, as the previous Superman trailer is what actually made me decide to start this whole “Year of Superman” blog in the first place, but now James Gunn is telling us that wasn’t a trailer at all. It was a “teaser,” he says, and the first real trailer is the one that hit today, May 14. What’s the difference between the two, you ask? I’m honestly not sure. If I were to guess, I would say that the first “teaser” just gave us glimpses, flavor. The trailer gives us a little more meat – in other words, the first real clue of what the story is gonna be. And of course, as it should, it starts with Lois Lane. In the trailer, Clark agrees to allow her to interview her as Superman about some recent actions that have apparently caused no small amount of controversy. Superman, he insists, has stopped a war. But Lois is questioning if that was the right thing, on the international level.

Oh, how I LOVED this. First of all, the interplay between David Corenswet and Rachel Brosnahan was spot-on. They are charming and affectionate, but at the same time, she’s a reporter, dammit, and she’s not going to blanch away from asking the hard questions. He went into a foreign country. He went without permission. “You seemingly acting as a representative of the United States–”

“I wasn’t representing anybody except for me!”  

The way the tension is sculpted here is flawless. Superman going in to save lives regardless of laws or treaties? Lois refusing to back down as he has to answer for it? This is who BOTH of these characters are. 

I know that some people have been concerned about the tone, afraid that Gunn (whose Guardians of the Galaxy films and The Suicide Squad both leaned heavily on comedy) would be too jokey, too flippant. This new trailer shows us a Superman who is good, decent, and pure, and struggling against a world that has difficulty accepting these things, and while it isn’t bereft of humor, it isn’t leaning on it the way those other films either. (And come on, people, even Guardians of the Galaxy mixed in the humor with real pathos. If you watched Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 and didn’t shed a tear, I don’t know what I can even say to you.”  

We also see María Gabriela de Faría as the Engineer, working with Lex, storming the Fortress of Solitude. We hear a nice monologue from Nicholas Hoult as Lex Luthor, explaining how he can’t handle this alien dominating the conversation around the world. (It almost sounds like Superman is still new in town, the way Lex is talking here. We know this movie won’t be an origin story, but it remains to be seen just how far removed from the origin we’re actually going to be.)

We see more of Mr. Terrific, Guy Gardner, and Hawkgirl. We see Krypto stealing the show a few more times.

We see a movie that promises to be about a hero trying to do the right thing and a world that doesn’t know how to handle it.

I’ve been optimistic about this movie from the beginning. As of the teaser back in December, I’ve been gung-ho. Now? Now I’m…

I don’t know. What’s the next level up from gung-ho?

I’m overjoyed, and I cannot wait for July 11. 

Commercial: Milk-Bone Dog Biscuits: “For Honor” 

I don’t even have a dog and this almost worked on me.

Notes: As I said, I think this is where the marketing avalanche begins, and after Krypto became the star of the first teaser trailer, I’m not surprised to see it begin with Milk-Bone. Aside from a little Krypto footage we’ve already seen from the teaser, the trailer, and the sneak peek, we also get a scene of Mr. Terrific playing with Krypto and giving him treats, which I believe is my wife’s favorite part, as she squealed adorably with glee. I don’t own a dog, so this isn’t going to make me purchase anything, but if I did…I gotta admit, this ad would work.

Comic: Superman: A Friendship Unleashed #1 

“Unleashed?” Oh, I get it. It’s a pun, right?

Notes: In addition to the Milk-Bone commercial, we also got a new digital comic book, also sponsored by Milk-Bone. It’s a pretty simple 10-page story by Ivan Cohen and Travis Mercer, starting with Superman and Krypto playing fetch and then winding up having to save a dog park from an out-of-control fire engine, then working together to stop a S.T.A.R. Labs disaster that the fire truck was racing to prevent. Also, there are prominent Milk-Bone logos whenever it was easy to sneak it into the artwork. Is it a great comic book? No. But it’s cute enough, and it gives Krypto a little bit of a spotlight. Historically, this is mostly notable as – except a brief prophetic vision in an episode of Creature Commandos – the first actual story appearance of David Corenswet’s Superman…well…anywhere. 

Thur., May 15

Comic: Superman Meets the Quik Bunny #1

Much better than when Superman arrested the Trix Rabbit for stalking kids.

Notes: Hailing from 1986, this one-shot brings Superman face-to-face with his greatest ally: a cartoon rabbit!

No, wait, they did that in Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew #1. I guess the big difference here is that Cap gets his power from eating irradiated carrots, whereas the Quik Bunny gets his from chocolate milk.

ANYHOO…In this comic, the Weather Wizard attacks Washington, D.C., and Superman leaps into action to stop him. Why Superman instead of, say, the Flash (Weather Wizard’s usual sparring partner) or Wonder Woman (who actually lived in D.C. at the time)? Because Quik paid for Superman, dammit. Superman is quickly (no pun intended) joined by the Bunny and his friends, the Quik Club – four genius kids who are there to problem-solve and catch the Weather Wizard.

It’s a ridiculous story, but there are a couple of things for which I really do give them credit. First of all, the product placement is surprisingly kept to a minimum. The Quik Bunny and the kids are introduced while drinking chocolate milk, then it isn’t mentioned again until the climax, where the Bunny is feeling down and the kids give him a jolt of Quik to get his head back in the game. There’s one last mention on the final page, when Superman joins the Bunny and the kids for a glass, but I can allow that. After all, once you’ve saved the nation’s capital from a bad guy with control over the fundamental elements of the climate, a cool glass of chocolate milk probably WOULD hit the spot.

The other thing I like about this comic is that it’s not JUST a comic. Every two or three pages, we get a little activity that ties into the story – mazes, word scrambles, connect-the-dots, and other such games that make the book a little more interactive. Granted, modern comic book nerds would find the notion of taking a pencil to the pages of a comic book to be horrifying, but comics like this weren’t made for people who were just planning to put ‘em in plastic, they were made to give away to KIDS (and entice them to beg their parents for Nestle Quik), and kids like that sort of thing. Or at least, they did back in the 80s. Maybe it wouldn’t work now, I don’t know, but as a kid of the 80s, I for one appreciated this silly little comic book. 

Fri. May 15

Comics: Superman: The Computers That Saved Metropolis

This is the worst Legion of Super-Heroes reboot ever.

Notes: Remember Radio Shack? That little store where you could buy all the computer and electronic components that you needed? My dad was an early adopter to computer technology, and I liked accompanying him to Radio Shack because sometimes – SOMETIMES – they had these free giveaway comic books. I didn’t care that they were kind of dumb, that the “Tandy Computer Whiz Kids” were ridiculous characters, and that every book they produced were blatant commercials for Radio Shack’s TRS-80 line of personal computing devices. You know what I cared about? FREE COMICS, that’s what.

By the time I was going to Radio Shack with Dad, the comics they were producing were mostly published by Archie and starred the Whiz Kids in their own adventures, but there were three comics from before I got into them that I had to hunt down later, because they featured Superman. The first was The Computers That Saved Metropolis from 1980. The story kicks off with Superman taking time out of his busy schedule to give a guest lesson to an elementary school class about the history of computers, because apparently there were no crimes, natural disasters, or multidimensional incursions that could be a better use of his time. He begins lecturing the kids – and the reader – on the history of the computer, with a kid named Alec acting as an audience surrogate in that he finds the lecture kind of boring, despite the fact that it’s being given by Superman. 

At the end of the lecture, the kids sit down to practice using the computers just as Superman is called away to stop a freak tornado that appeared out of nowhere in the middle of Metropolis. Rather than investigating this meteorological anomaly, Superman instead goes back to school where they have a little contest to see if the computer can complete math problems faster than he can. (Spoiler alert: It ends in a tie. The most ridiculous and improbable tie since the first time Superman raced the Flash.) A second test ends in Superman’s defeat, but only because (we learn) that freak tornado was the work of Major Disaster, who used it to release millions of microscopic Kryptonite fragments all over the city. The tiny crystals aren’t enough to take Superman out entirely, but they’re fogging his brain and making it hard to control his powers. With Superman operating on reduced efficiency, Disaster starts his REAL plan, screwing up the city’s computers. So Superman, of course, calls in the Justice League to take care of the situation.

HAHA! Just kidding! No, that would make sense. No, instead he burrows under the elementary school (it’s too dangerous for him to fly), bursts through the floor, and then has children use the two computers he brought in earlier that Disaster didn’t have a chance to monkey with to help guide him through averting Major Disaster’s major disasters. In the end, of course, Major Disaster is captured, the Kryptonite passes out of Superman’s system, and Alec and Shanna wind up on the news talking about how awesome computers are. 

We just saw the origin story of the Tandy Computer Whiz Kids, folks. And yeah, it’s silly, and it’s ridiculous, and it is utterly illogical that Superman would allow children to guide him in the control of his powers when hundreds of thousands of lives are at stake. But ask yourself this question: is it any less plausible than the fact that Adventure Bay has outsourced its entire first responder system to a child and his six dogs? Or that virtually every law enforcement organization in the world accepts the help of the gang in the Mystery Machine? The children are our future, people. Time we accepted that. 

Sat., May 17

Comics: Superman: Victory By Computer, Superman: The Computer Masters of Metropolis

This is becoming a habit.

Notes: Superman followed up his first adventure with the TRS-80 Whiz Kids a year later in another special, Victory By Computer. In this one, Superman and Supergirl both appear in Alec and Shanna’s classrooms, at which point the students are immediately disappointed because the all-powerful superheroes from another planet didn’t bring new computers with them. Man, and I thought MY students had attitude sometimes.

But it’s okay! Turns out that Superman and Supergirl DID bring computers – the brand-new TRS-80 POCKET computer, small enough to fit in the little pouches under their capes! As in the first special, we launch into an educational lesson, but instead of the history of computers, this time it’s about programming and modern technology. I give Radio Shack credit for at least not repeating themselves, and there is an amusing sequence where the kids are walking across a giant keyboard that looks like they got it out of the Batcave.

Oh yeah, and Lex Luthor is up to some shenanigans, this time summoning Supergirl and trapping her in a room with red sun lamps which – as we all know – negate Kryptonian powers. Fortunately, Alec and Shanna are there once again to lend a hand, aiding Superman in his cousin’s rescue with the help of an ancient and mystical creation known as…the MODEM. 

“Ah man, not THESE weiners again.” –Superman, probably.

In the third and final team-up with the TRS-80 kids, The Computer Masters of Metropolis, we get a new guest-star. This time, it’s Wonder Woman who shows up in Alec and Shanna’s classroom. (Meanwhile, across town at another elementary school, these visits from the fire department are seeming lamer and lamer.) After the lesson, it’s time for a surprise field trip – Wonder Woman is taking the kids down to the Metropolis World’s Fair to check out the computer exhibition. Their old pal Superman, meanwhile, is already at the fair, where he’s standing guard after Lex Luthor threatened to destroy the fair because they refused to showcase any of his scientific achievements. (Golly, I wonder why?)

There’s more Wonder Woman than Superman in this book, and she spends the first half of it giving the kids a tour of the fair, talking a little bit more about the history of computers, and impressing upon them just how integrated they have become in our daily lives. It’s actually pretty quaint to read this sort of thing – in 1982, computers were still a novelty. If they were to try to write a story today talking about how everybody uses computers, it would seem as ridiculous as telling them how important cars or, like, refrigerators are. After the kids go home, Wonder Woman sticks around in her Diana Prince identity, unaware that Luthor has tricked Superman into yet another Red Sun trap. The guy must keep the factory that makes those bulbs in business all by himself.

Superman is stuck in an auditorium bathed in the red bulbs, and Luthor has rigged the place with explosives to prevent him from escaping. But he’s made a mistake, as villains do – he forgot to remove the TELEPHONE. So Superman calls the Daily Planet and…gets a busy signal. So who does he call next? Batman? Supergirl? The Inferior Five ?Ambush Bug?

HE CALLS ALEC. THE SIXTH GRADER WITH A COMPUTER.

And Alec calls Shanna.

And Shanna calls the World’s Fair and has them page Wonder Woman, who saves Superman from the trap, and they capture Luthor.

These books are wild, guys.

Like I said when I wrote about the first of these three comics, they’re silly and quaint, and just as a nerd who loves both Superman and weird comics, I enjoy having these. But there’d never be any danger of them turning up in any collected edition of the Greatest Superman Stories ever told.

On the other hand, I wonder who actually owns the TRS-80 Whiz Kids now that Radio Shack doesn’t exist anymore. Is that valuable IP floating around somewhere? Could Alec and Shanna turn up in some gritty Black Label series, probably by Tom King? And if so, would they still be…the Computer Masters of Metropolis?

I’m just kidding, guys, this is never gonna happen. 

A quick note that has nothing to do with the Whiz Kids, guys, but that I thought was interesting. If you’ll recall, I started this week’s blog writing about the new Milk-Bone comic book, and at the time, I thought it was digital-only. Looks like I was wrong, though – there WAS a print run, and you could order it from Milk-Bone with a box of dog biscuits. Apparently this was ridiculously popular, so popular that the website had to be taken down and the print version of this book is now showing up on eBay for upwards of $80. It was absurd to me, and I couldn’t figure out why people were going so crazy for it – then it hit me.

Like I said then, TECHNICALLY, that Milk-Bone comic book is the first appearance of David Corenswet’s Superman. And I bet the speculators are pouncing on it for that reason.

I’ll check eBay again in six months. It’ll probably be more reasonable then. 

Sun. May 18

Commercials: “Superman Peanut Butter,” “Superman Vs. Nick O’Teen”

Notes: Over the years, Superman has occasionally turned up in commercials for products or services that didn’t really have any relevance to him personally. In fact, in one case, they even NAMED a product after him for truly astonishing reasons. Back in the early 80s, Sunnyland Refining Co. had a new brand of Peanut Butter it was planning to launch, and so of course they asked the obvious question: who is the obvious spokesman? Peter Pan was popular, of course, so maybe another flying hero. Condorman? Casper the Friendly Ghost? Tweety Bird? No. The obvious answer, of course, was Superman. 

Or something like that, I have no idea how Sunnyland wound up making Superman Peanut Butter, and Google has not been particularly helpful in my research, but I sure as hell REMEMBER Superman Peanut Butter. I remember it, I miss it, and I firmly believe that if we could bring it back today the world would be at least a little bit better for everybody except for people like my nephew who have nut allergies. (Sorry, Grant.)

“Lex? Could you — could you not make that face in front of the kids, please?”

There were a few commercials over the years for Superman Peanut Butter, but the one I remember most fondly was this one from 1983, in which Superman has been captured by Lex Luthor. Luthor, demonstrating the primary concern of most supervillains, wanted Superman to tell him the secret of why Superman Peanut Butter tastes so great: “So fresh roasted,” Lex intones, “So creamy!” As he berates the Man of Steel for his refusal to share his legume-spread secrets, a bunch of random kids peek in through a glassless window, drop a rope, and swing Lex’s Kryptonite to a lead box that has been left conveniently open, allowing Superman to burst out of his cell and capture him. I don’t know exactly which level of the DC Multiverse this commercial takes place in, but this is clearly not the smartest Lex Luthor we’ve got. On the other hand, this Superman was willing to die in order to protect his peanut butter secret, so maybe he isn’t the smartest Supes, either.

At any rate, this goofy commercial has stuck with me for all these years, and darn it, I DO still long for a slice of toast with a thick layer of Superman Brand Peanut butter. A few weeks ago, in the Comic Book Collecting Facebook Group I help moderate, someone asked the question of whether anyone ever REALLY bought Superman Peanut Butter just because of the association with the character. 

Yes, sir. I assure you. We did. 

The same year that Superman Peanut Butter launched, we also got a trio of anti-smoking ads starring the man of tomorrow. All three ads follow the same basic pattern. A bunch of kids are being approached by a hideous villain called Nick O’Teen who tries to entice them to try cigarettes. Superman shows up. Superman kind of brutalizes Nick. Then he crushes the cigarettes with his Kryptonian might and stares at the camera.

Not since Patty O’Furniture has a villain had such a stereotypical name.

That is not to suggest that the commercials are identical, of course. In one of them, Superman destroys the cigarettes in front of Nick’s face as he begs, pathetically, for a fix. In another, Nick is disguised as a wizard teaching the kids magic tricks with cigarettes before Superman stops him. And in one, Superman just gets so fed up that he hurls Nick O’Teen far enough away that – as my wife commented as she watched the commercial with me – “he straight-up murdered him.” 

Maybe, but who’s gonna cry for the guy trying to give cigarettes to kids?

To say that these ads are poorly made is an understatement. Superman is constantly off-model, and he doesn’t even seem to have a consistent voice in the three of them. In fact, in the first it almost sounds like someone was trying to do an impression of Arnold Schwarzenneger before he began to speak the flawless English he is known for today. But the question remains: were these commercials EFFECTIVE?

Well, the message we seem to take away from them is, “If you try cigarettes, you will be brutally killed by Superman.” And I gotta admit, that’s enough to make me never want to take a puff.

In 2004 we once again saw Superman grace American televisions to shill a product. This time, though, he wasn’t alone. Superman (voiced by Patrick Warburton) is joined by none other than Jerry Seinfeld in an ad called “A Uniform Used to Mean Something” by American Express. Although most of us saw the 30- or 60-second truncated versions of this ad campaign, there’s a full five minute short film on YouTube that you can – and should – watch right now. 

“And what’s the deal with the bottle city of Kandor?”

Seinfeld (who of course CLAIMS to be a huge Superman fan, but ask yourself, where’s HIS “Year of Superman” blog? Huh? HUH?) and Superman are going out to lunch. They engage in a series of conversations that would have fit in perfectly on his self-titled sitcom – complaining about the amount of mayonnaise on a sandwich, discussing how great the surround sound on Jerry’s new DVD player will be (“What do you care? You’ve got super-hearing.” “Yeah, but it’s not SURROUND SOUND.”) And then, as Superman is stuck reading the reviews for a new musical, a crook rushes past and steals Jerry’s DVD player right out from under him. Superman stops him, of course, but not before the criminal throws it at Superman and it breaks.

WHAT DO WE DO?

Superman’s suggestion, of course, is that he fly around the world so fast that he goes back in time and stops the DVD player from being damaged. Jerry has a simpler idea – his American Express card protects his purchases from theft, damage, or being bounced off a superhero’s chest for 90 days after purchase, and he easily gets a new one.

If somebody wanted to create a time capsule of pop culture in the early years of the 21st century, they would pretty much HAVE to include this ad. It was ridiculously ubiquitous back in 2004, it seemed like it was on the air every other commercial break…and what’s more, it also serves well as a bite-sized taste of the Seinfeld TV show, as well as the kind of stunts credit card companies used to use to draw in customers. 

Man, Super-Sponsor week is a ride, my friends. 

Mon., May 19

Short Film: Stamp Day For Superman (1954)

Superman, of course, doesn’t need stamps. He sends everything big AIR mail. Heh. Get it?

Notes: Remember those days in school when the teacher would pull out a filmstrip, the VCR, or the DVD player, depending on how old you are? (If you’re too young to remember the DVD player, I’m not even sure why you’re reading this blog.) Weren’t those days the best? Well, in 1954, the people behind the TV show The Adventures of Superman made an 18-minute short film to promote US Savings Bonds. Superman (George Reeves) and Lois Lane (Noel Neill) are on a stroll down the streets of Metropolis when they’re alerted to a robbery. Lois goes off to get the story, while Clark goes after the robbers. One of them gets away, but the other turns himself in to Superman, confessing that the only reason he turned to crime is because he’s never been able to save his money, which makes you wonder how somebody from 2025 made it to the 1950s. 

Back at the Daily Planet office, Jimmy Olsen (Jack Larson) shows off the brand-new typewriter he bought when some of the US Savings Bonds he bought back when he was a kid finally matured, because even in the 50s Jimmy was one wild and crazy guy. His glittering purchase gives Clark the idea of having Superman visit Jimmy’s old school to help promote “Stamp Day,” the day to buy savings bonds. As Clark and Jimmy go to the school to help set up for the promotion, Lois gets a phone call from an informant who confesses that he’s the missing robber – he knows he’s going to get caught, and he’ll only surrender to Lois Lane, alone. 

I want to offer a US Savings Bond to anybody who can guess what happens to Lois next, but I’m a public school teacher and there’s no way in hell I can afford that many.

Thaaaaat’s right – Lois gets caught and tied up, and it’s going to be up to Superman to get her out of yet another one. This time, though, he’s got the added difficulty of setting her free in time for Stamp Day!

I haven’t gotten around to talking about the Adventures of Superman show yet, although I fully intend to do so when I do the planned week where I watch the first episodes of all the assorted Superman TV shows. But I’m delighted that this goofy little short exists, giving me a chance to wax poetically about it here during “Super-Sponsor” week. Although the story is, naturally, a blatant propaganda film promoting the purchase of savings bonds (to the film’s credit, it never tries to claim otherwise), you still get to see Reeves and Neill at their best. Reeves is square-jawed and charming, and although his Clark and Superman have very little difference in how he plays the characters, he’s like a Wayne Boring Superman climbed right off the page and came to life. And while Noel Neill’s Lois frequently had to play the damsel in distress, I don’t remember a single episode where she lost her cool, pleaded with her captors, or hatched some hare-brained scheme to entrap Superman in marriage. No, even while she’s tied up by the dubiously-named robber “Blinky,” she’s clever and snarky. Honestly, she’s got the best traits of the era’s Lois Lane and none of her foibles. 

If you extract the scenes about Stamp Day (which honestly wouldn’t be difficult to do) you would have a pretty standard – albeit short – episode of the TV show. What’s more, because the movie was made for the federal government, it’s in the public domain. And yet somehow, I wasn’t aware of its existence until 2016, when it got goofed on as the finale of the RiffTrax Live: Mystery Science Theater 3000 Reunion Show. As I’m almost as big a fan of RiffTrax and MST3K as I am of Superman, watching this film with almost every MST3K host, bot, or mad throwing out their bon mots was just a delight. It’s not a bad episode on its own, but if I’m being honest, I enjoy it more with the riff treatment.

Comics: New Gods Vol. 5 #5 (Cameo)

Tues., May 20

Commercials: Ralph Nader Kryptonite Commercial, Superman for the US Air Force

Notes: Kids, once upon a time, there was a guy named Ralph Nader. Nader is a lawyer who kind of became a celebrity through advocating for consumer protection and environmental causes. In fact, a book he wrote in the 60s pushed public opinion to the point that the government began to enforce stronger safety regulations for the automobile industry, so hey, thanks Ralph. He also ran for president several times, although he never made it as a major party candidate, but he’s still kicking it at 91 years old, so there’s still time, right?

“I’m Ralph Nader, and I have no idea why I’m giving this message.”

“Blake, why the hell are you talking about Ralph Nader?” you may be asking. And for once, Presumptuous Disembodied Voice From the Back of the Auditorium, I am in complete agreement with you. Ralph Nader showing up here in my Year of Superman blog makes no sense. But neither does what I’m about to talk to you about. In the 1980s, Nader appeared in a one-minute television spot talking about the various colors of Kryptonite. Normally, when I link to something off my site, I just kind of drop the link in the middle of a paragraph and trust that you’re smart enough to click on it, but I’m not going to do that this time. No, I need to draw attention to it, because I think everybody needs to see this. Go ahead. Click the link below and watch this commercial with me.

Ralph Nader Kryptonite Commercial on YouTube

Back? Okay, let’s talk about what we all just shared. Ralph Nader – PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE RALPH NADER – spends 60 seconds telling you about the various versions of Kryptonite that exist, and warns you to be careful not to be scammed when purchasing your Kryptonite from some sort of sleazy backroom dealer. “Gold Kryptonite robs you of your powers! Green Krytonite makes you drowsy, inert, and eventually destroys you! Red Kryptonite…now that’s the unpredictable stuff.” Then he closes off the spot by telling you that if your Kryptonite is not properly and clearly labeled, you should take your business elsewhere.

This. Is. BONKERS.

And the thing that’s MOST bonkers about this is that I have NO IDEA WHY THIS COMMERCIAL EXISTS. There’s no tag on the end that points you to a product, a service, a movie. There are clips from the old Adventures of Superman TV show with George Reeves, but if the commercial is intended to promote reruns of that show, why don’t they tell us what time and channel to tune in? And what’s more, why show panels from the comic books, or footage of the Superman balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? Neither of those would promote the TV show at all. It’s almost like a Saturday Night Live bit, but there’s no audience laughter to indicate as such, and I can’t think of any other TV show of the era that would have made a spot like this…nor does it really go wacky enough to suggest that it was intended as a comedy sketch. So what IS it? WHY WAS THIS COMMERCIAL MADE? WHY DOES IT EXIST?

If you know, friends, please tell me before it drives me insane. 

The last commercial I’m going to talk about is a recruiting spot from 1974, in which baseball player and manager Dick Williams talks about how the Air Force is like a baseball team – all about people working together and learning skills.

He’d make a hell of a wingman though, right? Ha? Ha? Okay, I’m done with the puns. For now.

As he walks through a baseball stadium, he encounters Superman (or, rather, an actor wearing a rather shoddy Superman costume) pouting because they won’t let him play baseball with them. “They say I’m too good.”

“I know how you feel,” Williams said. “Why don’t you try the Air Force?”

I mean, let’s be honest here, if Superman WERE to join the military, the Air Force makes the most sense. 

While not as completely nonsensical as the Nader spot, this one is kind of depressing, seeing a schlumpy kind of guy in a Superman costume moping around a baseball diamond. He should have cheered up anyway – he was only six years away from getting consistently shown up by a pair of sixth graders using a Radio Shack TRS-80 computer.

Comics: Challengers of the Unknown Vol. 5 #5 (Guest Appearance)

Super-Sponsor week comes to a close, friends. This was a weird one. I would have had many more commercials to choose from if I’d used actual Superman products, like the action figures, and maybe I’ll come back and do that some other time. There are also a few other giveaway comics I managed to identify – such as one from the 90s or early 2000s in which Superman and Supergirl talk about energy conservation – but I don’t actually have a copy to review. (Yet. But as long as eBay exists, the possibility stands.) At any rate, this was a bizarre spin around the world of Superman, and next week I’ll be getting back to some more traditional stuff, with TWO new Superman-related titles making their debut this month to talk about. And since one of them stars Superman’s famous cousin, I think I’ll go ahead and declare next week SUPERGIRL WEEK.

See ya then. 

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. You can join in the Kryptonian Konversation every day in the Year of Superman Facebook Group!

Geek Punditry #124: Compact These!

A little over a month ago, I talked to you guys about Compact Comics, DC Comics’ incredibly well-received new publishing initiative, in which some of their most popular and well-known graphic novels have been reprinted in smaller volumes, about the same size as a modern paperback novel, for the deliciously new reader-friendly price point of $9.99. The first ten books DC released in this format all sold out and went back for additional printings, and a second wave of titles has been announced for later this year. As with the first wave, the new titles are a mix of perennial bestsellers, books with current media tie-ins, and a few offbeat titles that aren’t their usual superhero fare, but may well snare readers who want something different.

I applaud this initiative. I’m up for anything that gets more people reading comic books, and based on the success of this series so far, it seems like it’s doing the trick. But that doesn’t mean that ONLY the smash hits deserve the Compact Comics treatment. DC’s got a history going back 90 years, and in those nine decades they’ve turned out a lot of books that may not be immediately recognizable, but at the same time, are fully deserving of finding a new audience. So DC – I know you’re listening to me, I can hear you breathing – this week in Geek Punditry I’m going to give you some suggestions for a few titles that I think are worthy of inclusion and should be given the utmost consideration when the time comes to select round three of Compact Comics.

The Kents

Look, everybody knows I’m going to have at least ONE Superman-related suggestion, so why don’t we just get it out of the way early, shall we? The Kents was a 12-issue miniseries from 1997 and 1998, written by John Ostrander with art by Tim Truman (issues #1-8) and Tom Mandrake (issues #9-12).  In this series, Jonathan Kent uncovers a series of diaries, letters, and artifacts from the mid 1800s and, sharing them with his son, the two of them piece together an epic story about the history of the family that would give Earth her greatest hero. 

“Ah, who cares about the Kent family, Blake?” some of you may say. Well…people who are into the likes of Unforgiven, perhaps. Or True Grit. Or John Ford’s Stagecoach. Because The Kents isn’t a superhero story at all – it’s an epic western. In three acts, the story tells the saga of the Kent family before, during, and after the Civil War. There’s a bitter, harrowing tale of brother against brother played out against the backdrop of the American west, and in this story we not only see the seeds of righteousness and nobility that would one day so profoundly inform who Clark Kent is, but also the struggles, heartache, and betrayals that the family had to endure to build that foundation. I’ve loved this series since it first came out, and although it’s been reprinted once or twice over the years, it doesn’t look like there’s been a new edition of this book since 2012. That’s entirely too long, and it’s time it got back in the spotlight.

Camelot 3000

Speaking of 12-issue miniseries that have been out of print for over a decade, let’s talk about Camelot 3000. This science fiction/fantasy series by Mike W. Barr and Brian Bolland came out from 1982 to 1984, and it tells the story of a future where King Arthur has returned to Great Britain, as the prophecy foretold. In this distant future of the year 3000, the world has been divided up into four gargantuan autocratic countries, all bickering and fighting amongst one another, and completely oblivious to a greater threat from beyond the Earth. Arthur, resurrected, has to find the reincarnations of his knights and prepare them for battle.

This is a fantastic book, showcasing Bolland’s pencils even before he sharpened them to the point where he became the artist behind Watchmen, and the story very neatly mirrors the original Arthurian legend. Barr supposedly got the inspiration for the story while taking a college course on Arthur, and the work he put into shaping this world is really remarkable. He doesn’t just re-tell the original story, but weaves in certain themes, showing just how timeless they are. The Lancelot/Guinevere story is still hanging over everyone’s heads, and the new take on Tristan and Isolde is way ahead of its time. It’s also an important book, historically speaking – DC’s first maxi-series created for the direct market only, their first time experimenting with a new format, and the first time future superstar Bolland would do full stories for an American publisher.

But most importantly, it’s just a good comic that modern audiences haven’t all had an opportunity to experience yet, and it’s an experience they frankly deserve.  

Batman: Robin Ascendant

This doesn’t actually exist. I mean, the stories exist, but this particular collection of them, to my knowledge, has not been made…but damn it, it should be. Batman, as you may have heard, has gone through a Robin or two in his time, and for a lot of us, the definitive Robin is Tim Drake. I love Dick Grayson as much as anybody, but he’s far more interesting as Nightwing than he ever was as Robin. Tim Drake, on the other hand, is probably the best Robin there’s been. Batman himself has acknowledged that Tim will be a better detective than he is some day, and he’s also the only one of the main Robins that has never particularly harbored a desire to become Batman. He stepped into the role after the death of Jason Todd (who, of course, got better), during a period where Batman was being consumed with self-doubt and anger, and it seemed like the Dark Knight was going to go far, far darker than ever before. Tim  deduced the original Robin’s identity, and from there, it was easy enough to determine that Batman was Bruce Wayne, so he arrived on Bruce’s doorstep not because he wanted to be a superhero, but because he knew that Batman is better with a Robin.

The story in which this is told was called “A Lonely Place of Dying,” by Marv Wolfman, George Perez, and Jim Aparo, and while it has been collected many times, it’s only five issues long. (Batman #440-442 and New Titans #60-61) One of the few legitimate complaints I’ve heard anyone have about any of the Compact Comics is that certain ones – specifically the ones that reprint original graphic novels like Joker or Wonder Woman: Earth One – are too short compared to the ones that squeeze in a hefty 12 issues worth of content. So in order to combat this volume having the same problem, I propose a bundle of sorts, combining this story with two shorter, subsequent ones. Bruce didn’t make Tim a Robin immediately, dedicating himself to training the boy so as not to repeat the mistakes of Jason Todd, and there were a few good Tim stories before he put on the costume again. In “Rite of Passage,” from Detective Comics #618-620 (by Alan Grant and Norm Breyfogle), Tim’s parents are kidnapped by a villain called the Obeah Man, leading to a tragedy that would shape Tim dramatically. I would include that, then cap off the book with “Identity Crisis” from Batman #455-457 (Grant and Breyfogle again). Here, Tim is grappling with the events of “Rite of Passage,” struggling with the legacy of the two previous Robins looming over him, and is grounded while Batman sets out to take on the Scarecrow. But Tim figures out that Batman is walking into a trap, and realizes that he’s the hero’s only hope. 

When you put these three stories together, you’ve got a nice chronology of Tim Drake, leading up to him officially taking the mantle on the final page. And you’d get 11 issues of content, which is perfectly in keeping with the size of the better-received Compact Comics.

Tales of the Green Lantern Corps

One of the first Green Lantern stories I ever read – thanks to some comics given to me by my Uncle Todd – was the three-issue Tales of the Green Lantern Corps miniseries from 1981 by Mike W. Barr, Len Wein, and Joe Staton. In this truly epic story, all 3600 members of the Corps are called together to face the most dire of threats – their ancient enemy Krona has returned. Krona, a twisted member of the same race that eventually became the Guardians of the Universe, has forged an alliance with Nekron, a god of Death, and is planning to rend a hole between the worlds of the living and the dead, beginning with the destruction of the Corps’ central power battery on Oa. The Corps only has one charge remaining – a mere 24 hours to save the universe.

This is an incredible storyline – wide-reaching and eventful, that showcases not only Hal Jordan, but so many other Lanterns. Classics like Katma Tui and Tomar-Re show up, little-known GLs like Charlie Vicker make an appearance, and we get the debut of Arisia, who would go on to be a major player in the series. Furthermore, elements from this story would be used decades later in Geoff Johns’s Blackest Night, another awesome story that should get the Compact Comics treatment.

The only problem is all of this universe-spanning action takes place in only three issues, and, like I said, that just ain’t enough to satisfy Compact Comics reader. Fortunately, DC has already provided us with a solution. Tales of the Green Lantern Corps was not only the title of this miniseries, but also the banner under which solo tales of Green Lanterns from beyond the Earth appeared as back-up stories in the main comic for years. There were also three annual specials using this title with the same concept: short stories of various GLs. Some of those were amazing, such as the introduction of the bizarre and delightful Rot Lop Fan from Tales of the Green Lantern Corps Annual #3 (story by Alan Moore and Bill Willingham). Once you’ve included the three issue miniseries, it would be quite simple to cherry pick the best of the other Tales and build up enough of a collection to make a suitable Compact Comics volume.

Legion of Super-Heroes: The Great Darkness Saga

The Legion of Super-Heroes is one of DC’s greatest properties, and yet somehow it gets less respect and love than so many. It deserves more, and showcasing one of its crowning achievements in The Great Darkness Saga would be a way to show them off to a new audience. In this one, the heroes of the 30th Century find themselves coming into conflict with bizarre, shadowed figures who turn out to be corrupt clones of heroes from the past. The race to discover the truth about these threats leads to a collision with the characters of Jack Kirby’s Fourth World, finally bringing the Legion into conflict with the embodiment of evil in the DC Universe: Darkseid himself. The story was a smash hit when it was first published in the early 80s, and was credited with making Legion one of the best-selling comics in America for a while. It showcases virtually every character who was or had ever been a member of the Legion, as well as drawing in many of their allies like the Legion of Substitute Heroes and the Wanderers. If you’re looking for a showcase of everything the 30th Century had to offer, this is the book to read.

The main storyline is, again, somewhat short, running in Legion of Super-Heroes #290-294. However, there was a long buildup before the main story began, and previous collections have included material going back to issue #286 and their first annual, with an epilogue of sorts appearing in the third annual. And if you really want to link it to the greater DCU, years later there was another side-story that connected to it in issue #32 of Booster Gold, a series in which the time-travelling hero often found himself stumbling into classic DC storylines. There’s certainly enough to collect a full-size volume here.  

Ambush Bug

My final suggestion is probably my most off-the-wall, but I will defend it vigorously. For the last few years DC Comics has been trying to turn Harley Quinn into their answer to Deadpool, with the sort of fourth-wall breaking shenanigans he’s known for. With all due respect to the creators who have been involved in those stories, that’s a mistake. Harley became a hit character on her own merit, and changing who she is to fit some other character’s template is foolish, especially since they’ve already got a much better candidate: Ambush Bug.

Ambush Bug, created by Paul Kupperberg and Keith Giffen, is (supposedly) Irwin Schwab, a schlub who found an alien super suit that gave him the ability to teleport. Schwab is also ludicrously insane and a wholly unreliable narrator, making everything we know about him (including his real name, his origin, and his rivalry with the alien sock Argh!yle) suspect at best. Who or whatever Ambush Bug really is, he first showed up as an antagonist in DC Comics Presents #52, running afoul of Superman and the Doom Patrol. He came back a few issues later, causing problems for Superman and the Legion of Substitute Heroes, then decided to try becoming a hero after an encounter with Supergirl in her own comic. (He initially mistook Supergirl for her cousin. He’s that crazy.) Co-creator Keith Giffen and his writing partner Robert Loren Fleming soon started to run with the character, having him show up in three issues of Action Comics (where he quickly realized that Superman looked exactly like Clark Kent – he’s that crazy) before he got popular enough to get miniseries and specials all his own.

Ambush Bug was breaking the fourth wall before Harley, before Deadpool, even before John Byrne’s She-Hulk raised such a thing to an art form. He is fully aware of the fact that he’s a comic book character, and he was proficient in meta humor long before it became popular. His stories are bizarre, surrealistic, and utterly bonkers, and they’re a lot of fun because of that. Unfortunately, since the passing of Giffen, there really hasn’t been anybody else who has a great hold on the character and he doesn’t appear much these days. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before somebody tries to bring him back, and when that happens, I hope they find creators who have just the right blend of humor and irreverence to do him justice. 

In the meantime, though, we can grease the wheels for his return with the Compact Comics treatment. Ambush Bug Vol. 1 should include his early appearances in DC Comics Presents, Action Comics, and Supergirl, as well as his first four-issue miniseries from 1985, and the Ambush Bug Stocking Stuffer Christmas special. Once that first volume is a sales juggernaut (as all my suggestions clearly would be) they could follow it up with Vol. 2, collecting the Son of Ambush Bug five-issue miniseries from 1986, the Ambush Bug Nothing Special from 1992, and the six-issue revival miniseries Ambush Bug: Year None from 2008. 

There you go, DC. I know the books for Compact Comics series two have already been chosen, so consider these six suggestions the first half of a wave three. I’m sure you can figure out the rest of that wave yourselves. You guys are pretty good at this too. 

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. He hopes you all appreciate the fact that he got to the end of this without talking about Captain Carrot. That wasn’t easy, people. 

Year of Superman Week 19: Superman Who?

We’re here approaching the middle of May already, and for me that means the end of a school year. This week is the last week for my 12th graders, while my 11th graders are gearing up for their last two weeks. All of this boils down to less time for me, so I don’t think I’m going to work too hard to maintain any sort of theme this week. Let’s just take it as it comes and see what turns up.

Wed., May 7

Comics: Action Comics #558, Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen #138, Justice League of America #23

Ironically, this is what I feel like when I get an ice cream headache.

Notes: Here’s another one of those semi-random issues that turns up in my classic comic read-throughs, and it really illustrates something about the middle years of Superman. After the Silver Age silliness started to die down, there was a long period where it didn’t quite seem that the writers knew what to do with him. He only had a few great villains, like Luthor and Brainiac, and it’s not like he could face off against them twice every month, or they’d be overused. Attempts at creating new villains tended to turn out losers with little meat behind them, such as Terra-Man, or else random alien or mystical opponents who were only good for one story each. Other than that, they had him facing off against natural disasters or some sort of personal mishap that made Superman himself (temporarily) dangerous or otherwise imperiled without having an actual antagonist. 

As for his personal relationships – the perpetual Second Act of ongoing comic books is on no greater display than it was here. They didn’t want Clark to get married, they kept Lois as a hanger-on, they didn’t add any characters, they didn’t remove any, and that’s how things were for decades. They finally made a slight shift in the late 70s and early 80s: moving Clark to WGBS added a few characters to the cast, and bringing back an adult Lana Lang who was finally infatuated with Clark Kent rather than Superboy changed up the classic Superman/Lois/Clark love triangle. Ultimately, though, these changes were largely cosmetic, and the actual plots didn’t change all that much. When somebody calls Superman boring I disagree with them vehemently, but I have to assume that the majority of their exposure to the character probably comes from this era.

All of this is to say, “The All-Searing Eyes” from Action Comics #558 is another example of a Superman story that’s low on threat and doesn’t really have any reaching impact. Superman is brought into contact with a scientist attempting to solve the world’s energy problems, and he thinks he’s found the way to do it: Superman’s heat vision. He believes if he can discern how Superman’s heat vision works, he may potentially be able to harness that energy for the benefit of the people of the world. Superman, being Superman, agrees to have his heat vision tested, but he’s forced to end the experiment prematurely to avert a disaster, and as a result, he finds himself unable to turn the heat vision off.

Is there story potential here? Sure. A Superman unable to turn off his heat vision would be horribly dangerous, something that was actually addressed in a 90s storyline in which his powers went out of control for a while. But true to the time period, there wasn’t much room for real drama here. Superman realizes he’s in a pickle, he causes a small amount of trouble but no lasting damage, and at the end of 12 pages the scientist manages to get his heat vision back to normal. Ultimately this – like a lot of the comics of the era – feels pretty inconsequential. It has no lasting impact for any of our characters, and nothing that happens is ever referenced again. This isn’t to say that every single Superman story (or every story for any ongoing character, for that matter) HAS to have long-reaching consequences, but if they don’t, they should at least reveal something about the characters or, at bare minimum, be original and fun. This story, and many of them of the era, just don’t tick any of those boxes. In a modern age where it seems like comic books are rebooted every twenty minutes and it never matters anymore, you can look at books like this one – books that happened in the years before the first major reboot – and you can understand why DC felt like it was necessary. 

Thur., May 8

Comics: Superman #126, Blue Devil #3 (Guest Appearance), Action Comics #375, Infinity, Inc. #5 (Power Girl)

And this is what it takes to get RID of an ice cream headache.

Notes: As I’ve said before, on weeks when I’m not pursuing a particular theme, there’s little rhyme or reason to the choices I make as to which Superman content I’ll explore. For example, Superman #126? It’s on the docket for today solely because I was scrolling through the DC Universe Infinity app, the cover caught my eye, and I don’t think I’ve ever read this story before.

I should clarify: I’ve never read the story presented in this PARTICULAR issue before…but I have most CERTAINLY read stories about Superman with amnesia. They were strikingly common in the Silver Age, and even as late as the early 90s there was the “Blackout” five-parter, in which Superman’s memory was accidentally wiped by an experiment Emil Hamilton was working on and he wound up on a tropical island almost marrying a native princess. (Hmm. Should I read that one next? It’s been a while.)

But for now, I’m focusing on “Superman’s Hunt For Clark Kent.” While experimenting for a possible antidote to Kryptonite radiation at the Fortress of Solitude, an accident causes Superman to lose his memory…but fortunately not his powers, which he needs to fly down to Metropolis to start piecing together his missing life. He gets clothes from a British chap who is literally giving them away to the first person he sees who’ll fit them and who seems to have no idea who Superman is, then decides to adopt a “secret identity.” He disguises himself as a Brit, bleaches his hair blond, takes the name “Clarence Kelvin,” and applies for a job at the Daily Planet

You know, there’s an adage in writing that goes something like, “In real life, we expect coincidence. In fiction, we do not stand for it.” I imagine that adage was coined in response to stories like this one. Superman’s behavior is completely absurd and preposterous, and seems to happen only to keep him from telling literally anybody on the planet the predicament he’s in, at which point every scientist in the world (except for Lex Luthor) would be falling over themselves to try to cure his amnesia. But instead he…fights a whale. 

Eventually, he learns who he really is by flying into space far enough to overtake the rays of light coming from Earth and using his telescopic vision to watch himself, in the past, changing his clothes, making him realize he’s Clark Kent – and that may be the LEAST scientifically implausible thing about this story. At the end, everything goes back to normal, with Clark settling in at the Planet again…but something about this is bothering me. He discovers that he’s really Clark Kent. He resumes his life as Clark Kent. But at NO POINT does the story actually say that his MEMORY returns. Does that mean that Superman technically had amnesia for the rest of the Silver Age?

Where’s that grim and gritty follow-up?

As usual for this era, there are three stories in the issue. The second one isn’t particularly memorable, but the third one made me do a double-take. In “The Two Faces of Superman,” Lois deliberately makes herself unattractive to ward off a blind date and Clark, catching wind of this, decides to teach her a lesson. He decided to do that a LOT in the Silver Age, in and of itself there would be nothing noteworthy about this. But as Superman, he whisks her off on a date, at the end of which he “confesses” that he always wears a rubber mask as Superman and wants to finally show her his true face. And when he does…well…see for yourself.

“What, me Kryptonian?”

Yep. Superman decides to turn himself into the spitting image of Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman. 

And this, it should be noted, was long BEFORE Mad was published by DC Comics. 

Anyway, to her credit, Lois is smart enough to figure out Superman’s ruse (after a few pages of angst and soul-searching) and calls his bluff by accepting a marriage proposal he never thought she would go for. In the end, both of them put their cards on the table and admit the truth, and Lois even concedes that it was wrong of her to blow off her blind date in such a way, then goes right back to dreaming about wanting to marry Superman – but NOT by tricking him. I guess that’s the sort of thing that passed for noble aspirations in 1959. 

Fri., May 9

Comic: Absolute Superman #7

This is what it felt like when I got an ant farm in 4th grade.

Notes: Only one new Superman-related comic hit the stands this week, although I did get the Dan Mora variant cover for the Action Comics #1 facsimile, because I’m a sucker. The one new book, Absolute Superman #7, is our introduction to the Brainiac of this dark universe. In fact, Superman doesn’t technically appear at all. Instead we spend the entire issue exploring this new incarnation of the villain and his obsession with the Superman that has somehow appeared on Earth. This version of Brainiac has a bit in common with Geoff Johns’ re-imagining of the character several years ago, but there’s a madness to him that I’ve never seen in a Brainiac before. It suits the grimmer universe that the Absolute titles occupy quite well, and I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes next.

Most interestingly, though, is the cover. I have to talk about my love for this cover, by Rafa Sandoval. It’s not just that it’s a good piece of art, although, it is, but look at it. Word balloons. How often do comic book covers have word balloons these days? It’s a lost art, and when it IS used, it’s usually used for comedic purposes. To see it done this way is both unexpected and exciting. Good on ya, DC. 

Sat., May 10

TV Episode: Superman and Lois, Season 2, Episode 8, “Into Oblivion”; Episode 9, “30 Days and 30 Nights.”

After I make it to work on a day like this I usually text my wife and say “Careful, the fog is crazy this morning.”

Notes: The assorted subplots that have defined this season continue in episode 8. Jonathan, expelled from school, is given permission to complete his coursework online and is forced to get a job. Jordan discovers that the reason his brother has refused to tell anyone about his sources for X-Kryptonite is because he’s trying to protect Candice, the girl he’s been seeing, who’s trying to support her family. John Henry is recovering from amnesia (more amnesia?) and has forgotten that he’s not married to Lois in this universe, and his recovery is triggering Natalie, who remembers how the Superman of her original universe murdered her mother. Lana’s husband Kyle – despite their estrangement – tries to help her prepare for her upcoming debate in the race for Mayor of Smallville, while Sarah tries to convince Jordan to become friends with the girl she hooked up with in summer camp. 

Sometimes the synopsis of these episodes make me long for the quiet subtlety of a Silver Age issue of Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane.

In episode 9, cult leader Ally Allston (the one who sucked Lucy Lane into her web) breaks DOD custody and manages to hop into a portal to another dimension. Superman goes after her and winds up trapped in that other dimension for…well, the name of the episode IS “30 Days and 30 Nights.” In that time, disasters go unchecked and lives are lost as the world cries out, “Where is Superman?” As John Henry sets out in his Steel armor to fill in the gaps, Jordan tries to use his super-senses to find his absent father. Ah yes – and the Smallville mayoral election happens, and lest we forget, Lana is on the ballot. 

As much as I want to enjoy this series, in episode 8 there’s just too much going on, and it’s not connecting with me as a result. I feel like I need a scorecard to keep track of all the storylines, and for somebody who navigated the entire Triangle Era of Superman comics with no issues, that’s saying something. That said, there are a few things that I liked here. Jonathan taking the fall for Candice, for example, feels like a very Kent thing to do. He’s protecting someone and taking the heat on his own, and while he’s doing it in a stupid way, he’s also a teenage boy and thus a certain level of stupidity is to be expected when girls are concerned. I also like the way that Clark tries to mend fences with Natalie, someone he has never wronged, but at the same time, someone who may be the only person on Earth with a legitimate reason to be traumatized by Superman. There are a few good scenes with the two of them, and I like the development of her character.

I’m not wild about the continued development with Lucy and the cult leader who sucked her in, and the end of the episode has Lucy taking a turn that not only marks her as a bit of a villain, but a way bigger idiot than even Jonathan. It does lead into Episode 9, though, which improves over 8 considerably. It starts with John Henry suiting up in his armor and trying to fill in the gaps left by Clark’s absence. There’s also a great bit where Kyle – a firefighter – is trapped in a burning building and Jordan has to use his powers to save him. Lois is outraged, but Jordan stands his ground and insists that he did the right thing. And damn it, Lois, you know he’s right. Finally – FINALLY – we get some of the stuff I’ve been wanting to see in this series. Jordan uses his powers to save somebody’s life. Lois argues that he should have let John Henry handle it, but Jordan points out that John wouldn’t have made it in time and Kyle would have died. Jordan is 100 percent right – he used his super powers to save somebody’s life, and that is ESPECIALLY important while his father is missing. On the other hand, Lois isn’t approaching this as someone who is desperate for a new superhero in the world. She looks at it from the perspective of a wife whose husband is missing and whose son just did something incredibly dangerous, sparking her fears of losing him too. Lois is totally in the wrong, and yet, her reaction is entirely understandable and in-character. And that, my friends, is what makes for a compelling conflict.

This episode also finally gives us a little forward momentum on the X-Kryptonite storyline, as Jonathan breaks down and tells his mother where to find the distributor, sending Lois, Sam Lane, and Jordan on a stakeout that goes bad. (There’s a cute bit here where Lois’s knowledge of the kind of knots used to keep them in check makes her father question just how many times his daughter has been tied up over the years.) Despite Lois’s protests, Jordan comes in to save his mother and grandfather, and maybe for the first time in this whole series, we see a glimpse of the Superboy he just may be destined to be. I love what they do with him in this episode, it’s the best we’ve seen from Jordan yet. 

Although Sarah dumping him at the end of the episode because he keeps disappearing and won’t tell her what’s going on is more of a Peter Parker consequence than a Clark Kent one. Ah well. He’s got the powers, best he learn what it takes to be a superhero now. 

It ends on a hell of a cliffhanger, and it’s probably the best episode of the season so far. And Superman isn’t even actually IN it. Go figure. 

Sun. May 11

Comics: World of Smallville #1-4

Notes: It’s Mother’s Day here in the US, and in the Year of Superman I thought I should devote my reading today to that mom of moms, Martha Kent. Let’s face it, Martha and Jonathan are probably the greatest parents in all fiction. They took a child with the power of the gods and raised him to a man who uses that power only to help people. That is A-plus parenting no matter how you slice it.

Nobody else even comes close. No disrespect to May Parker, but look at the little bundle of neuroses SHE raised. And sure, Susan Richards’s son is plenty powerful, but they actually put a mental block on him to prevent him from accessing his abilities. I mean, I get it – when Eddie was little we put a lock on our oven because it was too dangerous to allow him to open it at will. Same thing. But still, Martha had no such protections, and she STILL knocked it out of the park.

Problem is…there aren’t really a ton of great comic book stories ABOUT Martha. Sure, she appears a lot, especially since the Man of Steel reboot, but she’s almost always in a supportive capacity. There have been a few stories about Jonathan, but Martha almost always appears to impart a little wisdom like a midwestern Yoda, to fuss over her son like any other mom even if he IS Superman, or to bake.

So even though it’s really more about Jonathan and Martha as a couple, today I decided to read the World of Smallville miniseries from 1988. This was actually the middle part of a trilogy of miniseries written by John Byrne expanding upon Superman’s corner of the DC Universe after his reboot, preceded by World of Krypton and concluding with World of Metropolis. In this one, Clark comes home to Smallville to visit with his parents, but a slip of the tongue by Jonathan sends him probing into family secrets he never heard before.

You know how they tell you if you find an old videotape in your parents’ closet you shouldn’t watch it? Well, this is nothing at all like that, you sicko.

Although Jonathan Kent and Martha Clark were sweethearts from a young age, their lives were shattered he was missing and presumed dead in World War II (I assume that, were they to reference this story today, they’d update it, perhaps to the first Gulf War). By the time Jonathan was found alive, Martha had married Daniel Fordman, a member of Smallville’s wealthiest family, although she never stopped loving him. Jonathan comes home to find yet another shock – Dan is dying of cancer, and he wants Jonathan to take Martha from him. Jonathan is shocked at the idea and, despite his sister’s encouragement, is planning to reject Daniel’s proposal. It turns out to be a moot point, though, as when he arrives at the Fordman house to do so, he’s there just in time to see Daniel fighting with his sister – a fight that drives him to his death. Jonathan and Martha, we learn, were engaged six months later.

It’s not exactly Romeo and Juliet, but that’s a good thing, since those two both ended up dead.

After the first two issues, which tell that story and a re-telling of how the Kents learned they couldn’t conceive a child and then, miracle of miracles, found one in a rocket ship, issue three brings in Lana Lang to talk about a little of the trauma SHE was subjected to by John Byrne. To be fair, it wasn’t entirely his fault. At least part of the blame has to go to Steve Englehart, author of DC’s 1988 crossover event, Millennium. In that story we learned that the Manhunters – the failed android race that preceded the Green Lantern Corps as peacekeepers in the universe – had stationed agents all over Earth to spy on its burgeoning superhero population. The editorial edict was that each comic had to have someone revealed to be a Manhunter spying on their respective hero. Byrne went one better – in the Superman titles it turned out the Manhunter was Doctor Whitney, Smallville’s pediatrician, who was sent to watch the child from Krypton. Whitney implanted a device into the spinal column of every child he delivered for the next two decades, turning every kid in Smallville into a sleeper agent that was to be activated to report on the actions of Clark Kent. 

They got better after Millennium, fortunately. In fact, Lana was the only one who even remembered the ordeal. But these last two issues deal with what happened to her as a result. It’s a dark story, and the miniseries as a whole serves mostly to fill in blanks from Man of Steel and to connect the dots to the Millennium revelations. It’s good, and it’s worth including if you do a read of the Byrne era Superman. It’s a shame, though, that there just aren’t a lot of other great Martha stories out there.  

Mon., May 12

Comics: “Blackout,” from Adventures of Superman #484, Action Comics #671, Superman: The Man of Steel #6, Superman Vol. 2 #62, Adventures of Superman #485

Notes: Ever since I got that dose of Super-amnesia from the reading I did a few days ago, that concept has stayed with me, and I decided to go ahead and read the old “Blackout” storyline again. This was 1991, about a year before the Death of Superman, but after Lois and Clark got engaged and she learned about his double life, and this was deep into my formative years as a Superman reader. I was about two years into being a regular and any time I went to a comic shop or convention I scoured the back issue bins for everything post-1987 Superman that I could find. What’s more, when the new Man of Steel series launched, DC ran ads offering a discounted subscription rate for all four of the Superman titles for a year, and I asked my parents to buy me the subscription for my birthday, ensuring (in this era before I had a pull folder at a local comic shop) that I would never be in danger of missing an issue. It was a present they renewed for the next several years. It was a sweet time for me.

Something something ice cream headache.

“Blackout” begins in Adventures #484, when the mysterious Mr. Z reads in a newspaper about Superman’s friendship with Professor Emil Hamilton. Mr. Z was a villain Superman had faced a few times before (first in Superman #51, then during his jaunt into World War II during the “Time and Time Again” storyline I wrote about waaaaaaay back in Week Three) – seemingly immortal, with the ability to mesmerize others. When Superman visits Hamilton to test a remote apparatus he’s developing to help monitor the Antarctic Fortress of Solitude, he learns that Mr. Z hypnotized Emil, turning the viewing device into a trap. Z learns that the magic gem Superman confiscated from him during their previous encounter is being held in the Fortress, and commands Superman to bring him to it. Hamilton, freed from Z’s commands, tries to override the device remotely, but the enormous power drain not only plunges Metropolis into a blackout, but winds up wiping out both Superman AND Mr. Z’s memories.

In Part Two (Action Comics #671), Metropolis struggles to deal with the blackout. Gangbuster is doing his best to pick up the slack, and the chaos in the streets prompts Rose Forrest’s alternate personality, the Thorn, to come out of retirement. Then, in the midst of the blackout, a figure appears to try to bring the city some sense of normalcy: Lex Luthor II, “son” of the “late” industrialist. Meanwhile, after a brief stopover at an Antarctic research base, the mind-wiped Superman and Mr. Z wind up on an uncharted island full of prehistoric beasties. 

Fair warning, guys, telling your wife, “It wasn’t my fault I had amnesia” does NOT work. Don’t ask me how I know.

Man of Steel #6 gives us part three. Superman and Z discover that they’re not alone on the island with the dinosaurs – there’s a tribe of natives there as well. Most of them, it seems, are fairly neanderthal in appearance. The notable exception, naturally, is their princess, an exotic bombshell that immediately falls for Superman. The princess, Lola-La (BECAUSE OF COURSE THERE’S A DOUBLE-L) arranges for her marriage to Superman, but despite his amnesia, he resists her advances, a voice in the back of his head telling him that it’s not right. Back in Metropolis, Hamilton and Lois (source of the voice in his head we mentioned before) meet up with Guardian, who takes them out in the Whiz Wagon to look for the missing Superman.

Part Four: Superman #62! In addition to having a Lois Lane vs. Lola-La cover that no doubt inspired a LOT of fanfiction, there’s a story here as well. Lois, Hamilton, and Guardian find Superman JUST in time to stop the wedding. After a tussle with Lola-La, Lois sparks upon a method that juuuuuust might bring back Superman’s memory. Oh yeah – and in Metropolis, Agent Liberty shows up to help fight the rioting from the blackout.

Some anthropologists theorize the modern internet was invented just so people would write their own versions of how this scene played out.

The story wraps up in Adventures #485, which picks up where the previous part left off – with Lois trying to kiss Superman’s memories back. It doesn’t quite work, but Superman is convinced to return to Metropolis with her. They leave, Mr. Z staying behind, having found some peace in his tropical paradise. Guardian whips them back to Metropolis, arranging for Project: Cadmus’s resident telepath Dubbilex to help try to restore Superman’s memory. 

I’ve always enjoyed this storyline. There’s a degree of tonal whiplash going on here, but I think it’s justified. The scenes in Metropolis, with the blackout and the riots, are played seriously, but the stuff on the island is a straight-up comedy. There’s misunderstanding, coquettish flirtation, and lots of silly jokes (including a Gilligan’s Island gag) that make it a joy to read. There’s little that happens in this storyline of future relevance, though, except for the abandonment of the Mr. Z storyline. I don’t remember off the top of my head if he ever came back after this issue, it may well be that he’s still living a happy life out there on his tropical island, his memory of the atrocities he committed in the past completely wiped away. And it’s always pleasant to see Lois taking such a proactive role, leading the quest first to find Superman, then restore his memory. The final sequence, where Dubbilex leads Superman through his own mind, also has the added fun of making his mental “fortress” look like the classic Arctic Fortress of Solitude, which in this continuity had never existed, complete with the giant golden door and key. 

The Metropolis stuff, on the other hand, had pretty major significance for the next several years of the Superman titles. First, it’s the on-panel debut of Lex Luthor the Second. We (the readers) didn’t know it yet, but this would turn out to be the original Luthor, having faked his death and cloned a new body to pass off as his own son, and it was a substantial part of the Superman comics for quite some time. We also got the return of Rose and Thorn, a Bronze age vigilante who had the unique condition of being what at the time was called a multiple personality. Rose had no idea that a vigilante called Thorn took over her body to fight crime, spurred by the hatred of the mafia ties in her own family. Thorn became a semi-regular character in the Superman comics for a while, similar to Gangbuster and Guardian. Finally, this story gave us one of the earliest appearances of Agent Liberty, one of those government-sponsored superheroes that you hear about all the time. He, too, became a pretty big part of the supporting cast for a while, even joining the Justice League briefly after Superman’s death. 

Mostly, though, I just like this story. There’s enough meat to make it feel substantial and juuuuust enough silliness to keep the whole thing feeling like a lot of fun. And sometimes, that’s all you want. 

Tues., May 13

Comic: World’s Finest Comics #90

Notes: It’s been a day, guys. If you’ve had day where it’s just “a day,” you know what I mean, and with the end of the school year rapidly approaching, I feel like these “days” are going to be coming fast and furious over the next couple of weeks. And frankly, on “a day” I usually don’t want to do any more than find a hole to crawl into and hope that tomorrow is NOT – with apologies to Scarlett O’Hara – “another day.”

“If you think this is irritating, Bruce, wait’ll I tell you about the Alfred E. Neuman mask I had to use on Lois the other day…”

Still, I made a promise to myself that I was going to find some Superman every day this year, and that includes “days,” so I carved out enough time to read an oldie, World’s Finest Comics #90. Modern readers may forget this, but there actually was a Batwoman and Bat-Girl in the Silver Age, Kathy Kane and her niece Bette, respectively. Although the modern Batwoman kind of shares the original’s name (she goes by “Kate” these days), that’s pretty much where the resemblance ends – old school Batwoman was a socialite who embarked upon a crimefighting career specifically in the hopes of snaring Batman into marriage. It doesn’t say specifically, but I would guess she was a big fan of Lois Lane’s column. Anyway, for most of the stories in the era, that was Batwoman’s primary motivation. In this particular story, Batman had recently discovered her secret identity and forced her into retirement, reasoning that if he could figure out who she really was, so could the bad guys. But things get more complicated when a criminal escapes from prison boasting that he’s got a capsule that will give him Superman’s powers for 24 hours. Superman, hearing about this on the news, immediately recognizes this as a capsule invented by his father, Jor-El, back on Krypton, and reasons that the box must have crashed on Earth, so he zips over to Gotham City to lend a hand.

This set-up raises any number of questions. 

First of all, if Jor-El could give anyone super powers for 24 hours, why didn’t he use those pills to empower some people to maybe stop the planet from exploding? Or at the LEAST, to help with the evacuation?

Second, is there ANY piece of the destroyed planet Krypton that did NOT eventually make its way to the Earth? Was our planet just bombarded with their leftovers for decades? How is it more people weren’t killed by falling Kryptonite meteors? 

Third, how did the crook know that the capsule would give him super powers? Did Jor-El label the box? In English?

FOURTH, if you have a capsule like that in your possession, why would you HIDE it? 

And FINALLY, even if you have a good reason to hide it, why would you TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT IT?

Anyway, Batwoman disobeys Batman’s retirement order because he…needs her help… and beats the crook to the capsule, taking it and giving herself Superman’s powers for 24 hours. What would you do with Superman’s powers for a day, friends? Fight crime? Try to solve world hunger? Read every book in the library? Grab a sack of coal and just start turning out diamonds? 

Well, that’s because you’re not insane. But Batwoman apparently was, because when she gets powers the ONLY thing she wants to do with them is figure out Batman’s secret identity. Her first attempt – looking through his and Robin’s masks with X-Ray vision – fails, because as soon as Batman found out she had powers, he and Robin lined their masks with lead. Say what you will, but as the saying goes, you’re not paranoid if they really ARE out to get you.

As Batman and Superman try to hatch a plan to discourage Batwoman, she has plans of her own. She trails Batman and Robin back to the Batcave and, upon seeing whose house it’s under, is satisfied that she’s solved the riddle of their dual identities. Then she turns her attention to figuring out Superman’s identity because…reasons. Her plan is simple: just stick to him like glue until she sees him change his clothes. He tries to shake her by flying through a lightning storm, through Niagara Falls…nothing. That is, until he walks into an old decrepit house, which scares off a Batwoman with Kryptonian powers because – I swear to Christ I am not making this part up – THERE MIGHT BE MICE INSIDE.

But she keeps on following him, even to the Daily Planet, where Superman is pleasantly surprised to find Clark Kent waiting for him. It’s actually Batman in disguise, of course, helping a brother out. But as Batwoman’s powers fade away, she reveals she’s found Batman’s true identity: JOHN MARTIN!

Actually, the Batcave she saw him drive into was a fake that Superman carved. Helping a brother out. 

But in the end, Batman decides that Batwoman’s acts of stalking, childishness, and mice-fearing “showed such cleverness and courage that I can’t ask you to drop your career completely.”

My friends. Today is May 13th. As of this writing, I have read 377 separate comic books featuring Superman or a member of the Superman family. And that’s just in 2025. And that’s just the SUPERMAN comics I’ve read. And I can say with full sincerity and conviction that this issue contains the stupidest portrayal of an adult female human being I have yet to come across.

On the other hand, I guess it’s nice to know that Lois Lane isn’t the only woman the writers of the era mistreated ever so badly. 

I’m hoping that tomorrow will help break my recent chain of “a day”s. The first full trailer for the new Superman movie is supposed to drop (will already have dropped by the time you read this), and I’m sure I’ll have stuff to say about it. And in honor of both that new trailer and what appears to be the beginning of the movie merchandising blitz – starting with an ad for Milkbone dog biscuits – I’ve decided that next week will be the week of Superman: The Super-Sponsor! I’ll be looking at commercials and comic books where Superman is there to sell ya something. This should be fun. 

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. You can join in the Kryptonian Konversation every day in the Year of Superman Facebook Group!

Geek Punditry #123: TBR Terrors

Warning: This week’s Geek Punditry might be disturbing for people who love books, because this week I’m going to be discussing the three most terrifying letters for a bibliophile: TBR.

Almost as scary as IRS.

TBR, if you aren’t a reader, stands for “To Be Read,” and it’s something that will chill the blood of anyone who actually enjoys reading, because the TBR is the most intimidating thing in the universe. Some of us have actual, physical piles of TBR books. For others, it’s just a list. Still more have a sizeable section of our e-reader’s memory taken up with books that they’re going to read, and I quote, “someday, I swear to God.” But no matter what form your TBR takes, the existence of the TBR is a constant reminder that there are more books deserving of our time than we can possibly devote that time to.

It’s so easy to make that TBR bigger. All it takes is for you to become aware of a book that sounds good. Your favorite author has a new release? It goes into the TBR. Your friend tells you about something great they read on a recent beach trip? TBR. You’re wandering through one of those bookstores that you somehow keep stumbling into when you’re supposed to be buying groceries or perhaps extinguishing a fire, and some book catches your eye? TBR. There’s a new cover on this one? T.B.R. 

A NEW FOREWORD? By HAROLD BLOOM?

Adding a book to your TBR is easy, almost effortless, especially if you just maintain a list. But getting them electronically is easy too – after all, ebooks are usually mostly text (unless you’re talking about graphic novels, but that is a different – albeit similar – conversation). Text files don’t take up nearly as much space on a storage disc as music, videos, or photographs, so you can store a LOT more books on your phone or tablet than anything else, and you can add more…and more…and more.

Then there are the physical book readers, those who have overflowing shelves of books they’ve read and three times as many shelves of books in the TBR. For some of us, we display books the way a hunter or a fisherman will have a prize kill mounted and placed on the wall.

“Here we are, Under the Dome by Stephen King. Hardcover, 1074 pages. I brought this bad boy down back in 2011.”

“Cool. Say, what are all these books on these shelves over here?”

“We’re not gonna talk about those.”

So yes, adding a book to the TBR is effortless. But removing it is a torture the likes of which should seriously have been studied by the Geneva Convention, because it requires you to actually READ the book.

Oh, what fresh Hell is THIS?

“But Blake,” you’re saying, “I thought you said that the whole TBR thing is only relevant to people who LIKE to read.”

Oh, you silly person. Just because you LIKE to read doesn’t mean you actually get to DO it. We live in a world of chaos and terror and reality television, and although reading is a pastime that we book lovers dearly enjoy engaging in, the universe frequently colludes to deny us the time to do it. What’s more, even if you find the time, the little things that chip away at you day in and day out may sometimes leave you too emotionally exhausted to actually do the thing that you do to relax. If you just like, for example, watching baseball, then when you get home you can turn on a baseball game and the extent of your intellectual engagement will be formulating your Facebook post explaining why the umpire is an idiot. But reading is, ipso facto, a more mentally demanding pastime than many of these others, and after a long day at work or with the kids or just dealing with the avalanche of depression that social media has somehow convinced us to plug directly into our veins, the idea of picking up that novel about the vampire apocalypse may start to seem a little daunting, no matter how good the writing is.

The point is, stuff is added to the TBR much, much faster than it can feasibly be removed unless you physically drag your bookshelf into a sterile room with no connection to the outside world. The closest thing many of us get to that sort of distraction-free environment is reading on an airplane, which is actually where I achieved some of my greatest TBR accomplishments before I started traveling with a child, at which point even that avenue was largely closed to me. 

“I don’t actually want to go to Taipei, but how else am I supposed to finish reading the new Hunger Games prequel?”

To make matters worse, although you CAN eventually get a book off the TBR by reading it, a lot of us also like to…this is insane, but listen to me here…we like to read books AGAIN. 

We’re crazy, I know. But there are legitimate reasons for doing so. Perhaps the next book in the series is about to come out, but it’s been 17 years since George R.R. Martin released the last one, so you need to read it again to refresh your memory. Perhaps the last time you read To Kill a Mockingbird was in high school and you have come to recognize that your perspective as an adult is vastly different than that of the 16-year-old who previously read the book and it may be worth re-evaluating it from this new point of view. Maybe it’s just a comfort book, and you feel the need to return to it every so often to sort of ground yourself and remind yourself of the things in the world that you actually like and make you happy as opposed to…well…everything else. No matter the reason, the practical result is that even a book once removed from the TBR can be returned to the TBR at any moment and without warning, and then once again, your only shot at removing it is to read it all over. 

People who don’t read books are listening to this and assuming that I’ve lost my mind, whereas book readers are nodding at me and trying to remember if To Kill a Mockingbird is already on their TBR and, if not, adding it. 

The sheer volume of books that exist doesn’t help. No matter how old you currently are, people were writing books thousands of years before you were born, and at least seven of them are worth reading. What’s worse, there are a bunch of assholes out there right now casually writing even more great books that deserve to be read, as if you didn’t already have enough on your plate, the inconsiderate jerks. There is a point where most book readers have to face the fact that yes, they own more books than they can ever hope to finish reading in their lifetime, but they’re still reluctant to get rid of any of them, because any of these books MIGHT be called up to the major league at any given moment. 

“Well, Blake,” you continue, having this dialogue despite the fact that I wrote this several days before it was posted online and your ability to speak back through the time-space continuum is uncanny, “At least if you’ve got a massive TBR, you never have to worry about what you’re going to read next, right?” Ha ha ha! What an idiot! No, having a TBR makes it even HARDER to choose your next read. Think of it this way, if you have lunch at Raising Cane’s, you really only have one choice to make: will you substitute your cole slaw with extra fries or extra toast? But if you go to, say, the Cheesecake Factory, they hand you a menu so thick that, at first glance, you may think it should be added to your TBR. So let me ask you, my friends, at which restaurant will you have an easier time making a decision? 

Exactly.

The last book I took off my TBR was The Final Girl Support Group by Grady Hendrix. It was a great book, about a group of survivors of slasher-type murderers (the characters are very thinly veiled homages to the final girls of movies like Friday the 13th, Scream, Silent Night Deadly Night, and many others) who have an therapy group they attend together until someone starts trying to kill them. This is the third of Hendrix’s books I have read and I’ve really become a fan of the way he blends plots right out of a scary movie with a dark and sharp sense of humor. Unfortunately for me, after three hits in a row from him, I’ve pretty much decided that every book he’s ever written deserves to be on my TBR. I’m looking at Horrorstör next, billed as “a haunted house story set in a furniture store.” It sounds ridiculous and amazing, and there’s no telling how long it will be on the TBR before I get to it.

“Look at me, Song of Achilles! Take in my glory, The Redemption of Time! THE TBR CAN BE ESCAPED!”

But the point is, I FINISHED Support Group, so I got to take it off the TBR. Great! Go me! So…what next? More horror? Do I want another horror story so quickly, or do I want to mix it up a little bit? A little comedy? There was definitely humor in Support Group, but it wasn’t a laugh riot, so something a little lighter might be welcome. I’ve got a ton of Star Trek novels I haven’t gotten around to yet…but it hasn’t been THAT long since I read one. Maybe I should go back and pick up one of the Ruth Plumly Thompson Oz books I haven’t gotten around to, except that I didn’t really care for the last one I read, Grampa in Oz, and while I intend to eventually read all of the Famous Forty, I’ve put her on probation for a while. I read the first book of that trilogy by Gwenda Bond a couple of months ago and I really liked that, so perhaps I should pick up book two. Or maybe…

And my mind goes around like this for hours at a time until a friend of mine on Facebook posts that she just started reading Hail Mary by Andy Weir which, of course, makes me think that it’s time to finally go back and read The Martian for a second time.

Not even joking, this is the most scientifically-accurate book I’ve read since my second year of college.

Again, non-readers are ready to send me to an asylum. Book lovers know EXACTLY what I’m going through. 

So my friends, be kind to those of us who love to read. We have chosen a recreational activity that frequently includes as much planning and careful mental preparation as getting another job, except that instead of getting paid for it, we just get more books to put on the TBR. It’s a curse.

A lovely, wonderful-smelling curse that none of us would give up even if we could. 

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. He added six books to his TBR while writing this. Shut up.