Geek Punditry #173: In Defense of the Old

Recently, in one of those moments that divides the internet like nothing else in the past 27 seconds, a video in which a young woman confessed that she didn’t know who Madonna is went viral. There seemed to be two typical responses to this: Older people bemoaning the fact that today’s youth is so uncultured, and other young people doubling down on the fact that they, too, do not know who Madonna is. One responder said he’d always thought Madonna was a “concept.” Another thought she was dead. And my favorite reply came from the young person who thought Madonna was – and I quote – “Lady Gaga’s Alter Ego.”

The primary difference is that Gaga has more pixels.

Now as one of those aforementioned older people, it would be easy for me to point and laugh at this uncultured lass and her foolish ways… but the truth is, that would be pretty disingenuous. After all, why should we expect any member of the younger generations to be aware of Madonna? When’s the last time she had a hit song? The last time she was in a movie? And let’s be honest here, although she did write that one bestselling book, the rest of her literary output hasn’t made the same sort of waves, which of course is just one of the many things she has in common with J.D. Salinger.

The whole thing does, however, point to a larger issue that I, as a teacher, run into on a very regular basis. By and large, I find that the young people of today have very little awareness of any culture – not just pop culture, but culture in general – that precedes their own.

I – a child of the late 70’s who did most of his growing up in the 80’s – always remember having an awareness of older culture. Sure, a lot of the cartoons I grew up with were the 30-minute toy commercials of the era like Transformers and Masters of the Universe, but those were mixed with stuff like Looney Tunes and The Flintstones, cartoons that our parents and even grandparents watched, but were repackaged for our generation. Live action TV worked much the same way. Of course we had new shows, but not enough of them to fill an entire broadcast day, so we were fed those alongside a diet of shows that went off the air years or even decades before we were born like The Beverly Hillbillies, Gilligan’s Island, or The Honeymooners. And of course, we grew up on genre shows like the original Star Trek, the Adam West Batman and George Reeves’ Adventures of Superman.

This and Emily Bronte, basically the same thing.

A lot of this, of course, is because we were most likely exposed to what our parents liked. Once kids my age were old enough to choose our own music we drifted towards hair metal and those 80s pop stars that gave birth to the modern diva, but we still sure as hell knew who Elvis and the Beatles were because our parents played them in the car before the invention of the Sony Walkman allowed children to erect musical barriers on road trips. And although it may surprise some people to learn that I did not grow up as a fan of horror movies, that’s because my parents didn’t watch them. Thanks to my mom, though, I have a not-insubstantial knowledge of live-action Disney movies of the 1960s, and I suppose I may as well admit that one of my earliest crushes was Hayley Mills circa the original Parent Trap movie from 1961.

Hayley is 80 now, but if you saw her in M. Night Shyamalan’s 2024 thriller Trap, you will admit she’s still got it.

You can’t change my mind.

Now you may be wondering what difference any of this makes. After all, trends have always come and gone, some culture fades and is replaced. And yes, that has always been the case…for some culture. But not all. There’s an old axiom that 90% of all art — and that includes music, writing, and any other art form you can name – is crap. And that’s true. We remember Shakespeare, Da Vinci, Beethoven. We remember them because they were masters of their craft. But there are thousands of others who lived and worked and created and died at the same time as them whose work has been utterly forgotten, and much of it because it just wasn’t as good. 

Not to say nothing good has ever been lost. There have been – and always will be — creators kept down due to class or politics or a million other reasons that have doomed them to obscurity. But while it’s true that many a deserving work has been lost, it’s also true that the things that stand the test of time largely do so because they’re worth preserving, and new generations have always recognized that. 

Until now.

Technology has reached a point where everyone has the ability to create their own little bubble, their own personalized feed, where they never have to be exposed to anything except what they teach the algorithm they like already. That’s horrifying to me. And I don’t mean that in a gatekeeping way. Like whatever you like, I don’t care. But if all you ever see is stuff you already like, how will you ever grow?

As an English teacher, it bothers me when someone wants to replace a classic with whatever the Flavor of the Week YA series is in the name of “Engagement,” and not because I don’t think the new stuff can be good. I’ve got no problem teaching, for instance, Rick Riordan’s Percy Jackson novels, because they’re well-written and even help with teaching the classics via their many links to Greek Mythology. But reading The Lightning Thief should be a supplement to things like The Odyssey, not an effort to take its place.

Although Zendaya as Athena would work in either of them.

I want culture to be additive. I want people to be able to enjoy anything and everything and not dismiss it because it’s old. My favorite part of the school year is when I can tell an 18-year-old is furious at Hamlet for how he mistreats poor Ophelia, because that means I got them to care about a 400-year-old play. How easy is it to get a modern kid to even care about a cartoon from 1987? And sure, it thrills me when a student says, “I scored a 28 on the ACT,” but it thrills me just a liiiiiittle more when that same kid says, “Man, Hamlet did Rosencrantz and Guildenstern dirty.”

I try my best. I encourage the kids in my class to seek out classics. I share my own favorites with my family. I am proudly the only parent among my son’s third-grade class with a child who can sing multiple variants of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 theme song. And I could not wait until my niece was of an age where I could give her a copy of Stephen King’s Eyes of the Dragon for Christmas. 

It is possible, you just need to help someone find the value. One of my favorite TikTok feeds is by a young film student who wants to go back and watch all the classics she’s never seen before. Once a week, she randomly chooses a movie from a box full of suggestions and makes a video of herself reacting to it. It’s fun to watch this kid unravel the mystery of Hitchcock’s Vertigo, raid that lost ark with Indiana Jones, or follow the Hobbits as they leave the Shire for the first time. My favorite video of hers is the one where she sobs at the end of The Shawshank Redemption and asks, “Why do the movies my dad tells me to watch always make me cry?”

Because your dad isn’t made of STONE, that’s why.

If I ever meet her dad, I owe him a high-five.

I don’t oppose kids having their own stuff.

They should. They’re entitled to it.

I just want them to remember that Shakespeare wrote some damn good stuff. too.

And Mark Twain. Mary Shelley. Edgar Allan Poe. Charles Dickens. I’d like it for them to know when they’re humming a little Brahms, or that the Scream Ghostface mask is based on a painting by Edvard Munch.

I don’t even want them to forget Madonna.

So don’t shame people for not knowing the stuff from our youth. Share it. Give them a reason to engage. And above all, show them what it means to endure.

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. He’s also started putting his LitReel videos on TikTok. Could you imagine a world that forgot Jan Brady? Okay, so maybe it wouldn’t be all bad. 

Geek Punditry #22: Share Your Perfect Movie

A little over a year ago, in an effort to get people on Facebook to talk about something positive rather than simply despising each other as loudly as possible, I asked the following question: “What are some movies (sequels notwithstanding) that are virtually flawless in all respects, that there is no way you can imagine them possibly being improved upon, and that any discussion of remaking them would be the purest hubris?”

The goal behind this was simply to get some good-natured conversation going for a change, to get people talking about “perfect” movies that they love, but I was quickly amazed by the variety of answers I started to receive. It was also telling to me how widely spread the responses were. Plenty of classic movies got mentioned, as well as a lot of modern popular hits, but then there were the obscure movies like the Japanese drama An Autumn Afternoon or the pre-blockbuster Eddie Murphy action movie 48 Hrs. Now when I say a “perfect” movie, to me that means that there is no legitimate criticism or room for improvement, that everything about the movie is as good as it could possibly have been in the time and place in which it was made. This is, of course, inherently subjective, but that’s the point. I can give the definition to anyone, but it’s seeing what movies they think qualify that really became intriguing to me.

So I wound up doing what I usually do when I’m talking about movies and I get caught up in it: I went to Letterboxd and made a list. (Side note: I love Letterboxd. It’s one of my favorite places on the internet. It’s a social media platform where movie lovers can write reviews, share lists, and talk about movies. It’s a wonderful place for movie fans. It’s what Goodreads should be for books, if Goodreads wasn’t owned by Amazon now and every other click on the site didn’t attempt to divert you to spend money.) I listed every movie that someone suggested as being “perfect,” according to their own criteria, and I ranked them based on how many people suggested each one. I thought today it would be fun to walk through the list of suggestions I’ve collected since last year, talk about them a little, and then throw open the door for more. This list is a never-ending work in progress, so I’m always happy to hear what you think deserves a place here.

“It’s flawless.”
“But doesn’t his own mom hit on–“
“FLAWLESS.”

So far, 339 separate movies have been suggested by at least one person. Of those, I’ve seen 237 of them, and although I definitely don’t agree with all of them, that’s okay. The point is to see what SOMEbody thinks is perfect, not EVERYbody. The top choices, however, are pretty tough to argue with. The #1 choice, “nominated” by 12 separate people (myself included) is Back to the Future. The last time I mentioned Marty McFly and the Doc in this column, it was when I talked about Pop Culture Comfort Food – the whole trilogy is something I can throw on to make myself feel better on a bad day, but there’s something about that first movie that’s practically sorcery. Writer Bob Gale and director Robert Zemeckis found a way to weave together sci-fi time travel gobbledygook with a story that’s funny and uplifting, with a musical score by Alan Silvestri that I’d put among the top five of all time. I don’t want to get too deep into what makes this movie perfect because, let’s be honest here, you probably already know. I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody who doesn’t love the original Back to the Future, and if I did, I don’t think I could trust them.

The only reason that anyone uses the phrase “as you wish” anymore.

The second movie on my ranked list is also one of my comfort films (although when I wrote about it before I was talking more about the book than the film): Rob Reiner’s adaptation of William Goldman’s The Princess Bride. Eleven people suggested this one – a romantic comedy that’s full of classic quotes and unforgettable characters. It’s a fairy tale that makes everyone believe in love without making it seem like something that can only exist in fairy tales. It’s the reason people who aren’t wrestling fans know who Andre the Giant was. And sure, there are some bits about it that crack a little under scrutiny: in the fight between Westley and Inigo, for example, it’s horribly obvious when Cary Elwes is replaced by a stunt double to do flips on a bar, and the edges of the hidden mat are clearly visible when he lands a few seconds later. But I wouldn’t change those if I could – even those things are part of the film’s charm. Even the things that aren’t perfect IN The Princess Bride are perfect FOR The Princess Bride. It’s pretty telling that among the very few things that people on the internet can agree about is that NOBODY wants to see a remake of this movie.

Moving down the list from this point, a modern psychologist or anthropologist could really start to paint a portrait of the kind of people I associate with on social media, because The Shawshank Redemption and The Big Lebowski got seven votes each. These are two films that are enormously popular among people my age, movies that came out during those high school and college years in which many of us formally adopt the pop culture influences that become permanent parts of our identities. Shawshank is one of my personal favorite films, a film that takes the setting of a brutal New England prison and weaves a story about undying hope that is, in its own way, as inspiring as The Princess Bride itself. It’s a little hobby of mine to tell people who don’t already know that it’s based on a book by Stephen King, especially if they don’t like horror and they think that’s all he can write. 

Add in The Matrix and you’ve got 74 percent of college dorm walls circa 1999.

The Big Lebowski was my generation’s Rebel Without a Cause, a movie that was elevated to a lofty position based on the Rule of Cool. People saw in Jeff Bridges’s character a sort of carefree slacker god. “The Dude” became a role model, and while the lifestyle he enjoys in the film isn’t really something that works in the real world, that doesn’t particularly matter when it comes to making us fall in love with a movie, does it?

There are two kinds of people: people who love The Iron Giant and people who…I don’t know…probably murder kittens in their sleep.

The Iron Giant got six mentions, and if there’s any movie that deserves more it’s this one. The story, about an alien robot who falls to Earth and learns what it means to be human, resonated with me instantly. It’s the best Superman movie without Superman in it that you’ve ever seen, and it’s easily the most animated performance Vin Diesel has ever given. 

Next up, we get clumps of movies with the same number of votes. Five people each voted for Alien (the original), Clue, The Godfather, and Groundhog’s Day, and I would not argue with any of them. Four votes each go to Casablanca, Heathers, Labyrinth, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and my wife Erin’s favorite movie, Jaws. Again, there’s nothing here that I would really disagree with, except to say that I think some of those deserve a higher rating (which you, dear reader, are invited to provide if you’re so inclined).

Two movies made perfect by way of subtraction.

I do want to point out here that The Godfather and Jaws both occupy places on a very small but important list: movies that are better than the book they’re based on. The standard argument is that the book is better, and I agree that it’s usually true, but these two pretty darn perfect movies both got that way by jettisoning parts of the respective books that would have hurt the films. In the case of The Godfather, a long and rather uncomfortable subplot about Johnny Fontaine and his sexual conquests is reduced to little more than a cameo for the character in the film. The subplot is unpleasant to read and really has nothing to do with the story of the Corleone family, which is what the story is really about. In the case of Jaws, there’s a subplot about Ellen Brody having an affair with Matt Hooper, which is obviously the sort of shenanigans that the wife of the police chief worried about a killer shark and the marine biologist who has been called in to help capture said shark are going to get down to in between measuring the bite radius on the remains of the victims. I don’t know, maybe it had something to do with the 70s, the idea of throwing in unnecessary storylines about people gettin’ down, but thank goodness the filmmakers had the good sense to leave those parts out of the respective films. Had they gone in intact, I don’t know that I could support either of those movies being on this list.

I’m not going to go through the entire list here – there are still over 300 movies that I haven’t mentioned yet. But I invite you to read the list yourself and let me know if you agree or disagree. The list is a work in progress. I’ve added several movies myself since I first drafted it (Everything Everywhere All at Once being the most recent film that I’ve seen to make the cut) and I’ve periodically asked for more suggestions. Now I’m asking you. Are you irritated that your favorite movie didn’t get mentioned? Hey, mention it yourself! You think a movie that’s down at position #187 deserves to be higher? Give it a nomination and it’ll move up. You’re angry because you don’t think #163 deserves to be on the list at all? Well, sorry to say it, but that’s not going to change. Even if you don’t like it – even if I don’t like it – somebody called it perfect, and that’s all it takes to get on the list.

You can make suggestions here on the blog, on the Letterboxd list itself, or on whatever social media platform you used to follow the link. And remember the ground rules: first, no “joke” suggestions. Sarcasm doesn’t always translate that well on the internet, and if I think you’re suggesting something ironically, I’m just going to throw it out. Second, no BULK suggestions. Don’t just say, for instance, “all the James Bond” movies, because there are 26 of them and if you say “all of them” I’m going to question your critical thinking skills. And finally, be specific. Some stories have been told more than once, some titles have been used multiple times. Don’t just say Hamlet, tell me WHICH Hamlet – preferably the year of release, but at least tell me who the actors are so I know which version you’re voting for.

If nothing else, it’s a chance to see what movies people love, what movies matter to people, and to make your voice heard at least a little. And for the chance to talk about what people enjoy, I think that’s worth the few moments of thought.

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His current writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, a new episode of which is available every Wednesday on Amazon’s Kindle Vella platform. TV shows don’t count for this experiment, unfortunately, or else his son would no doubt have forced a thousand episodes of Paw Patrol onto the list.