Geek Punditry #79: The Case For ID3

On holidays, we all have certain favorite movies that we like to return to. At Christmas we all binge It’s a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, and dozens of others. Around Halloween we’ll sit down to watch Hocus Pocus or, appropriately, Halloween. On Arbor Day, of course, Swamp Thing. And although the Fourth of July doesn’t quite have the cinematic pedigree of some of those other holidays, there are definitely movies appropriate to watch at this time of year. 1776 is one of my favorite musicals of all time, and my wife’s favorite movie, Jaws, has enough July 4th talk to count even though the film ends several days after the holiday. But of course the most obvious movie to watch in early July is the 1996 blockbuster film Independence Day, the Roland Emmerich/Dean Devlin sci-fi extravaganza in which the Fresh Prince, Lone Starr, Cousin Eddie, and Jeff Goldblum come together and summon the power of America to save the world from an alien invasion.

If you had barbecue this week, you have this man to thank.

The movie – which I know we’ve all seen – is big, over-the-top, aggressively bombastic, and I love every frame of it. It is FUN, fun in a way that many blockbusters in the years since have forgotten how to be. The special effects are better than most movies we get today, the musical score is an absolute masterpiece, and the final act of the movie has one Big Damn Hero moment after another – and when done well, there’s nothing better than a Big Damn Hero moment. It is, quite frankly, a perfect film for what it is. If Bill Pullman had REALLY run for President in 1996, he would have won in a landslide. 

20 years later, a sequel was attempted. Independence Day: Resurgence was…not as good as the original. For reasons that I’m going to get into shortly, the movie felt kind of stale and like it was trying too hard, whereas the original made its sense of spectacle feel effortless. But this year, after rewatching the original a few days ago, I decided to give the sequel another chance. It…still isn’t a great movie. But the tragedy of it is that it had the POTENTIAL to be. The actual STORY is very strong. Let me give you the reader’s digest version of the important stuff that happens in Resurgence:

“If it helps, imagine you’re hearing this in my voice.”

It has been 20 years since Earth successfully destroyed the invading alien force. In that time, humanity has come together in a way previously unheard of, scavenging the alien technology to create an age of technological advancement that has helped create peace across the planet. Suddenly, another spacecraft appears. Humanity, fearful of a second invasion, attacks first this time, but discovers that this is NOT the same alien race that attacked them before – in fact, our old enemy is PURSUING this newcomer. We again have to battle the invaders, this time with the help of the newcomer, who we learn is an envoy of a coalition of survivors of the Big Bad Aliens, whom they call the Harvesters. We discover that Earth has become famous across the galaxy for being the only planet to ever successfully defend itself against the Harvesters. They are our FANS, and they want us to come into outer space to lead the fight to stop the bad guys once and for all.

“See? That doesn’t sound so bad, does it?”

If that sounds 1000 percent better than the movie you remember watching back in 2016, that’s because it is. The plot is fantastic – it expands upon the original mythology and elevates the threat, with the promise of exploring a much larger and grander universe that the original film only hinted at. But the final product didn’t deliver on that level. The cast was reduced to a series of Xerox copies of the original characters and the story structure was broken down in such a way that it mimicked the first movie far too comfortably to be satisfying. I always say that if there’s one thing fans want it’s “More,” but movie executives never understand what that MEANS. We don’t want the SAME thing, we want that familiar thing to CONTINUE and GROW and EXPAND. And while Resurgence had all the potential in the world to do that, by reducing it to a copy of the original, it failed.

The characters didn’t help. They tried to elevate the children of Will Smith and Bill Pullman’s characters to the new heroes, but there was none of the sense of heroism from the original. Pullman’s President Tom Whitmore at least got a proper sendoff, but Will Smith died off-screen and the wife Goldblum reconciled with in the original is gone without a trace, replaced by a new love interest. Was Margaret Colin unwilling to return? I have no idea. But we’re stuck with another less interesting love interest in a movie that already has a less interesting love story between Pullman’s daughter and Thor’s brother. (The one who isn’t Loki.) This also largely damages the character arc Goldblum received in the first movie, and if there’s one thing I hate, it’s a sequel that erases previous character development. 

I dare you to name a single one of these characters who wasn’t played by Jeff Goldblum. See? It’s even harder than Avatar.

But that spark, man…that spark is still there. And the idea of a movie about the human race joining together with an intergalactic federation to take the fight TO the Harvesters still REALLY appeals to me. So that’s why I’m here today, friends. Since the 20th Century Fox acquisition, Independence Day is now the property of the Walt Disney International Shadow Government and Entertainment Consortium (although they had to be reminded that this only referred to the film franchise and not the actual holiday). That in mind, I want to suggest that they take a chance on a new movie – or maybe even a Disney+ series – to continue the story.

Let’s talk about how to do this, guys. First of all, we don’t want to FORGET Resurgence. The whole point of this exercise is to remember that there IS a solid core of a story there. So instead, I say we do an Evil Dead 2. The second Evil Dead movie had a much greater distribution (and budget) than the first, and since he couldn’t be sure that much of their audience would ever have seen the original, creator Sam Raimi used the opening act of the sequel to make a condensed recap/remake of the previous movie. It is possible to watch Evil Dead 2 without ever having watched the original and not miss a beat. So with ID3, we start with a sequence that runs through everything I just said in my recap, because nothing else in that movie is really necessary for the story that’s going to get told next.

Second, at this point we need an almost entirely new cast. Bill Pullman’s character died in the sequel, and most of the new characters are pretty forgettable. We can try to squeeze in Jeff Goldblum just because he’s Jeff Goldblum and I don’t think it’s possible to look into those steely eyes and tell him “no,” but the one guy we can’t do without? Brent Spiner as Dr. Brakish Okun, whose increased screen time in the sequel is probably the best part of Resurgence. Not only is he the in-universe expert on the aliens, but his long contact with them gave him a sort of psychic link that will be invaluable.

Not to mention his experience in interspecies relations.

Once we’ve got all that established, we need a ten year time skip. We’re in space now. We are in command of the coalition of survivors, and here’s where we REALLY have fun, because we get to see all of these different kinds of alien creatures. We learn about their worlds that have been destroyed and the society they have built in the wake of the Harvesters attacks. We can tell the story of the war with the Harvesters, and there’s room for a lot more beyond that. What about the previous wars, the ones that were lost? Are there other races out there in need of a rescue? Are there other races out there even WORSE than the Harvesters themselves? There’s potential in every one of these ideas to tell a compelling story. Everybody is all about doing “shared universes” these days – this would be a chance to expand the universe of Independence Day into a sci-fi backdrop as rich and exciting as the best of Star Trek or Star Wars.

IF it’s done right.

Which of these two did it right, Disney? Come on. This isn’t a trick question.

That’s what it always boils down to, isn’t it? The truth is, a lot of modern sci-fi is pretty divisive. For everyone who loves The Mandalorian, you can find five people complaining about The Acolyte. Some Star Trek fans refuse to consider Lower Decks canon, some hate Discovery. Picard is that amazingly rare show where virtually everybody agrees it got BETTER in the last season. And the truth is, no matter what would be attempted with another Independence Day, there are a lot of people who will hate it sight unseen and never give it a chance.

But I don’t think that’s a good enough reason not to try.

Everybody knows that the studios are terrified to take a chance on a NEW idea, a NEW IP. They would much rather just try to pump dollars out of the ones that already exist. And since they’re doing that anyway, why not at least TRY to do so with a franchise that still has a lot of unrealized potential? 

That’s my thoughts on it, anyway.

Maybe next time I’ll tell DC Comics how to fix the Legion of Super-Heroes. Really, the fact that they haven’t just put me in charge of this stuff yet is ridiculous. 

Blake M. Petit is a writer, teacher, and dad from Ama, Louisiana. His most recent writing project is the superhero adventure series Other People’s Heroes: Little Stars, volume one of which is now available on Amazon. You can subscribe to his newsletter by clicking right here. Step one of fixing the Legion is to pretend the most recent incarnation never happened, by the way.

Santa’s Odyssey: Independence Day

On Christmas morning, as Santa Claus and two of his helpers returned to the North Pole, they came under attack by a group of holiday Icons angry that Claus was monopolizing the holiday glory. This year, stranded in the human world with no way home, Santa will be forced to take on the tasks for every other holiday — the Icons are on strike.

Previous Installments:

Seven: Independence Day

Penelope was an elf from the mail room. The most important part of her job, one she took very seriously, was to collect the letters from children all over the world, open them, and catalogue their requests. Other elves would then cross-reference the letters with the naughty and nice list, determine to what extent the orders would be fulfilled, and then send the information on to the packaging department. It was, arguably, one of the most critical jobs at the North Pole. However, during the summer months in the Northern Hemisphere, children were not yet concerned with Christmas and writing their letters to Santa, so mail room elves — although omnipresent at the Pole — had a lot of downtime. They wandered the factory, delivering catalogues and magazines and birthday cards to those elves who were receiving them, and spending a lot of time talking to the people they were delivering to simply because they had no other way to occupy their time.

Penny, as it turned out, was the perfect information-gathering elf for Mrs. Claus.

“Morning, Mrs. C!” Penny called out, knocking on her door. “I’ve got your new Oriental Trading for this month!”

Mrs. Claus opened the door, beaming. “Wonderful dear. Would you care to come in for some cookies? Star-shaped, freshly baked.”

“Don’t mind if I do!” Penny glanced behind her at the elves walking by on the street. Several of them waved to Mrs. Claus. None of them paid any attention to Penny. This was as it should be. She stepped into the Claus home and closed the door.

“Well?”

“I’ve been talking to people like you asked, Mrs. C. ‘Hey, how’s life down on the factory floor? Is everything getting done? How is it, working for Edgar?’ Stuff like that.”

“Yes, I know what you were supposed to ask, tell me the answers.”

“Well, old Menelaus down in toy trains, he’s like, ‘Edgar is Edgar, y’know? He doesn’t let up.’ And Archie in wrapping told me, ‘Getting it done? What is there to wrap in July?’ Oh, and Telly said–”

Mrs. Claus put her hands up. “Penny, dear, please. Just give me the synopsis.”

“People aren’t happy.”

“Why not? Aren’t they getting their work done?”

“Yeah, but they aren’t really proud of the work. They say it’s going too fast, taking up too many resources. A lot of them aren’t pleased with that robot game he’s pushing so hard. They’re afraid kids will catch their fingers and get hurt.”

“I thought Edgar said he fixed that problem.”

“He researched it, but when he found out how much time it would add on the assembly line to put on some sort of finger guard, he nixed it.”

Mrs. Claus’s cheeks drained. “That’s inexcusable. He’s actually placing the speed of the line ahead of the safety of the children?”

“And it’s not just the robot. There are other toys too — an electronic game where the battery casing comes loose too easy, a doll with hair that can be pulled out by a baby… When the boss was here, people would show him these problems and he’d demand they got fixed. Edgar just looks into how much it costs or how long it would take to fix and lets most of them roll by.”

“That’s it. I’m going to have a little talk with him right now.”

“Beg your pardon, Mrs. C., but I don’t think that will do any good.”

“Why not?”

“Because a lot of people have come to him with these complaints, and nobody has listened. A few people have even been fired.”

Fired? How do you fire an elf?”

“I don’t know, but I’m told Benjy got kicked off the Bobblehead line and nobody has seen him since.”

“Well I’m going to put a stop to it! I’ll throw Edgar out on his ear!”

“How? The boss left Edgar in charge until he got back. You know how elves are. They’re not going to disobey an order from the big guy himself. Not even if you tell them to.”

Mrs. Claus sat down and covered her face. “We have a big problem, don’t we?”

“Yeah.” Penny peeked around. “Um… didn’t you say something about star-shaped cookies?”

July 4, 10:14 a.m.

The door to the apartment opened and there he stood in his finery: blue coat, red and white striped pants, brilliantly star-spangled top hat. His eye glinted and his beard curled against his chest. “Santa Claus!” he boomed. “The time has come–”

“Hey, Sam,” Santa said. He and Gary were on the couch, watching the pregame for the Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest, Blinky in the kitchen marinating a few steaks. “We’ve been expecting you.”

Uncle Sam looked at them, dumbfounded. “What… your mortal friend… aren’t you even a little surprised?”

“It’s the Fourth of July, Sam,” Santa said. “I would have been more surprised if you didn’t show up.”

“But… Gary…”

Gary beamed. “You know me?”

“You’re an American, aren’t you? I know all of my nieces and nephews, Gary. But how do you know me?”

“Santa filled me in on what’s been happening. You guys really won’t let him go back to the North Pole? Aren’t you afraid Christmas is going to suck this year?”

Sam glowered. “You know, Gary, I have my own problems to worry about.”

“No kidding. I watch the news. It’s got to be a rough time to be you.”

Sam sat down on the couch between them, and glanced at the TV. “Nathan’s?”

“You know it.”

He sighed. “You know something, Gary? It is a rough time to be me. People are fighting, people don’t trust each other, everyone is convinced the darkest of days have come. You know what makes it really hard, though?”

“What’s that?”

“It’s always this way.”

“What are you talking about? Just a few years ago–”

“It was the other side that was up in arms. And before that, everyone was terrified. And earlier was that whole Watergate thing. And the Civil War, you remember that? Do you really think this country today is more divided than it was in the 1860s? Heck, even World War II was a mess. Today, your movies make it look like it was some huge, unifying moment when all of America came together and united against a common enemy and all that. But there were millions of people who didn’t support the war, even after Pearl Harbor. There were even groups that were pro-Germany.”

“I know. I took history class.”

“You know it, Gary, but do you ever really think about it? About what it was like? Or do you just watch The Fighting Sullivans and assume it was always that way?”

“The Fighting who?”

Saving Private Ryan,” Santa said. “You’ve got to update your references, Sam.”

“So Santa is supposed to be doing your job, right? What is that, exactly? It’s not like you deliver candy or fireworks or anything.”

“It’s going to be another internal one, isn’t it?” Santa asked. “On a lot of these holidays, the icons just absorb the emotion of the moment. Is that what we’re doing today, Sam?”

Sam looked to Santa, then to Gary. “You know what? It’s the Fourth of July. Let’s go to a barbecue.”

To Gary’s shock — but not Santa’s — before he even finished saying it they were outside. No longer sitting in Gary’s apartment, they were in a park. It was a long one, near a road that trickled with cars every few seconds. There were huge trees scattered for optimum shade and lots of benches surrounding play areas. Dozens of people were there with pets, coolers, and folding chairs. Children played on swings, a baseball game raged in the distance, and a half-dozen men in khaki shorts holding bottles of beer stood around a series of grills, each with a different meat. Gary saw hamburgers, hot dogs, ribs, chicken, brisket… his mouth began to water.

“Where are we?” Gary asked.

“America,” Sam said. “It doesn’t really matter if it’s any more specific than that. Tell me, what do you see here?”

“Lunch?”

“Well, yes. But there are people here from different families, different races, different cultures. Eating together.”

“It’s your melting pot,” Santa said. “Good for you.”

“This is what it should be,” Sam said. “Now take a look at another park.”

As he said it, Gary saw a blonde-haired woman looking in their direction. There was a moment of shock and she started to shout at them, but he never heard what she was going to say. After a brief ripple of disorientation, the happy people with their delectable brisket were gone. Instead, there was a mob. Actually, Gary realized, there were two mobs. On one side, people held poorly-spelled signs and wore t-shirts denouncing the administration, their policies, and America in general. On the other, people held poorly-spelled signs and wore t-shirts in support of the administration, their policies, and America in general. Gary missed the brisket.

“This looks more like the news.”

“Of course it does,” Santa said. “Now tell me, Gary, what do you think there are more of today? Parks like this one, or parks like the one we were at before?”

“The first one, I hope.”

“Of course there are. But which one do you think will get more coverage on the news?”

Gary didn’t have to answer.

Sam shoved his hands down deep into his pockets and sighed. “My nieces and nephews, all of them. And they have so much more in common than they realize.”

“But the differences are toxic,” Gary said

Santa shook his head. “No. Differences are inevitable among mortals. If you go to the North Pole, you’ll see elves that all have the same goals and the same ideas, and they’re all doing what they’re told without question. And it works fine for me. But mortals need those differences. The problem isn’t that people have differences. It’s that they don’t listen to them.”

As the two mobs screamed at each other, the cars on the road crept past slowly. Most of them, at least. It was, after all, the Fourth of July, and it always seemed like there was somebody who wanted to celebrate his independence by doing something stupid. The screeching sound came first, but it was far too late to arrest the progress of the Jeep that didn’t realize it was driving past a protest. It slammed into the back of a compact car, which jolted forward and hit an SUV, which in turn skidded into the opposite lane of traffic and was hit again. By the time the chain reaction ended, some seven cars had been hit, were smoking, and were no longer moving.

The mobs had stopped screaming. It was silent.

“Oh my god, where’s my phone?” Gary said. “I need to call–”

“Don’t do anything,” Santa said. “Watch this. Sam didn’t pick this park by accident.”

As Gary watched, the picket signs fell and the mobs rushed towards the wreck. People pulled open the doors to the smashed cars, helping people out if they could. Someone in a shirt with an X through the president’s face took off his belt and handed it to a woman whose shirt bore an eagle with talons ripping up a United Nations seal, and together they put a tourniquet on an old woman who bled from the arm. The door to the SUV was blocked by the second car that had struck it. Six people grabbed the smaller car and began to count. “ONE! TWO! THREE! HEAVE!” With their backs turned and the fronts of their shirts obscured, Gary had no idea who had originally been in which group.

“There’s a metaphor here, isn’t it?” he said.

“No subtle enough?” Sam asked.

“No really, no.”

Sam smiled. “Well, that’s America for you too. We pretty much gave up on subtlety when we put on costumes and dumped a bunch of tea into the harbor.”

“So what’s the lesson here, Gary?” Santa asked. “Stating the implied moral out loud is also pretty American.”

“The differences between people aren’t as important as what makes them the same, I get it.”

“Almost.”

“Why don’t we fast-forward a little?” Sam asked. There was a ripple and Gary glanced down at his watch. It jumped ahead by two hours. One last tow truck was pulling away the SUV, the ambulances were gone, and except for some broken glass on the road, one could be forgiven for not knowing there had been a crash at all. The protesters had returned to the park and were picking up their signs.

“So they just go home now? Having learned a valuable lesson?”

“Hey, who’s that clown in the Uncle Sam costume?” one of the protesters asked, pointing.

“He can see you?” Gary asked.

“We’ve already gone through that,” Santa said. “Try to keep up.”

The protester waved his sign at them. “What’s it like, wearing a symbol of fascism?”

“Leave him alone!” one of the picketers from the other side shouted. “He can wear anything he wants! Ever heard of ‘America’?”

The anger rippled back through the respective mobs and they started screaming at each other again. Gary’s eyes bugged out, looking back and forth in disbelief. “But… just a minute ago…”

“My favorite thing about my nieces and nephews is how quickly they come together when they need each other,” Sam said. “My least favorite thing is how quickly they forget about that when they don’t. Come on.”

The trio blipped one last time and they were back in Gary’s apartment. Santa sat down and picked up the remote control. “Good, they’re going to replay the hot dog eating contest. Gary, it’s true that the differences aren’t that important, but that’s not what Sam was getting at. The tragedy is when people refuse to accept those differences. And I’m not even talking about the big things like race or religion, I mean when people get infuriated over something as simple as a costume. If your country seems divided, it’s not because people are farther apart than they used to be, it’s because you’ve been convinced that anyone who disagrees with you is automatically evil.”

“You said that very well, Santa.”

“It’s the same with the holidays, Sam. I knew what you were going to angle at before you even showed up.”

“So what do we do about it?” Gary asked. “I mean… how do we fix it?”

“You really want to know? How to fix something, I mean?”

“Well… yeah.”

He smiled. “Well, that alone puts you ahead of most people. Most of them would rather shout about the problem than actually solve it. But it’s simple — turn off the 24-hour news cycle of catastrophe, go out and talk to my other kids, and actually listen to them. And if you disagree, try to figure out why they believe what they believe instead of just deciding they’re stupid and have nothing to contribute. Most of the time, you’ll find that real solutions lie somewhere in-between.”

“You’re making a speech again, Sam.”

He laughed. “One last thing Americans are good at, Santa. Okay, I’ll go now. Have a hot dog for me.”

As he shimmered away, Blinky came in from the kitchen. He frowned. “Sam?”

“Yep,” Santa said.

“I figured. Well, the steaks are done.”

“Great, I’m starving.” Gary trotted off to the kitchen and Santa sighed.

“How was you Independence Day lesson?”

“It’s the same one people learn every year, Blinky. It would be nice if it would last, but… well, you know Americans.”

“Yep.” He patted Santa on the back. “Look on the bright side. At least there aren’t any holidays in August.”

* * *

Jim Clark put another hot dog on another bun, looking out at the small woman sitting on a bench by herself. He came to this park every year. He brought his kids here, had met his wife at one of these picnics. He saw the same faces one fourth of July after another, watched as children grew up and had families of their own. He had never seen this woman before, nor had he seen anyone at the barbecue look so despondent.

“Hot dog?” he asked her.

She smiled, but there was no joy in her face as she took the food. “Thank you.”

“Miss, are you okay?”

“I just…” She reached up and wiped her eye. “I thought I saw someone I knew.”

To be continued…

To be continued…